Crotchety Crocheter

It started out innocently enough...

2011-10-24T13:07:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, I decided to hit the Grand City Buffet in St. Louis Park for the delicious buffet, then go next door to Target to pick up a few things. Once at Target, I grabbed a can of hairspray, then wandered over to the Electronics section...just to look around. I checking out the TVs when I notice sign that said "Temporary price cut" to the price of $249 in front of a 32" Westinghouse LCD television. I contemplated for a good while, long enough to miss my bus before deciding to give Bean a call, allegedly to talk me out of buying it (and potentially to coax her into buying it). Well, that didn't work out.

She decided to pick me up at St. Louis Park and drive me out to Roseville to comparison shop at Best Buy. If I couldn't find a similar deal at Best Buy, we could hopefully find the same deal at Roseville's SuperTarget. I had to wait around for 30 minutes not buying that TV while she came to get me. While waiting I checked to see if Best Buy had anything similar on line (they did not) and had pretty much made up my mind to buy it.

Once Bean arrived, we made our first foray over to Best Buy. We went straight back to TVs and browsed for a goodly while. The only thing similar to what I saw at Target was a Dynex 32" for $269. While I'm checking those out, Bean notices a Dynex 40" TV for $399. And what do you know? She wants it!

So having NOT found a similar or comparable deal at Best Buy. We head BACK to Target where I purchase the $249 TV. While doing that Bean decides that she does want that 40" after all. So we go back over to Best Buy where she purchases one similar to the one she wanted (it was only for display). While Brad (his name was Brad) was ringing her up, I mentioned that I had just bought a TV from Target. Brad tells me, I should have told him and he could have gotten me a better deal. I told him he still could.

So once he finished ringing Bean's TV up, we got to talking. Because Best Buy did not have the Westinghouse TV, Brad offered me that Dynex 32" I had been eyeballing early for $5 less than I had paid at Target. Well, because I love me some Best Buy SO MUCH (I really do! No snark!) and I could add a protection plan AND get Reward Zone points, I decided to take him up on the offer (once I shifted some $$ around in my bank accounts).

So Bean and I went BACK to Target where I returned the TV I had purchased less than an hour before, went to her house and set up her TV, went BACK to Best Buy where Brad hooked me up with my second TV purchase of the day, went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse (mmmmm, steaaaaaaaak), then went to my house where we set up my new TV.

The initial setup was relatively easy, but because of the wonkie-ness with the many devices I have, I spent a couple hour reconfiguring and trying things. I now have only the blu-ray player and the cable box hooked up. I love my DVD/VCR, but now that I have the blu-ray player, it's kinda useless. My Roku on the other hand, is hanging out in my bedroom which is fine and all, but it doesn't have HDMI which means the picture isn't as nice which means...well, it means I need to buy another blu-ray player. I have one with built-in Wi-Fi and a good chunk of the apps I want in my Cart at Amazon. And I'd have already bought it, if not for the fact that I have to wait for Target to return my money for that other TV. This impulse buying thing is just crazy.

So that was my Sunday.

I Need an Upgrade

2011-10-16T16:05:00.005-05:00

It's official. I need to get a new TV. No, my current telly didn't die on me. (I actually haven't turned it on yet today, so it could make me a sad liar.) I need a new TV because I am now a part of the blu-ray generation. I now own over 30 blu-ray movies (32, to be exact). My blu-ray player currently is housed in my bedroom because that is where my hi-def TV is and that is what them bad boys are made for is watching movies all sorts of fancy like. Stuff doesn't look awful on my current non hi-def television (and I don't even know that I am doing things right in order to watch things all HD-like on my other telly. Maybe I just think they do. That telly is small though. It's only 19" while my living room telly is 27". I want a new one that's about that size for the living room. And even that seems kind small in comparison to what ELSE one can get nowadays.

This is such a stupid first-world problem. Meanwhile, my nephew asked to borrow money from me and I said I didn't have it. Which I don't but that's because I bought movies or went to see a movie or did something else unnecessary with my money. I just need to suck it up and deal with my TV.

Oh and of course, "Hanna" which I bought on DVD yesterday for $19.99 is on sale at Best Buy today for $17.99. That's the blu-ray by the way. Fortunately, the nice young man at Best Buy allowed me to trade that one in and put the $2.00 saving towards my purchase of "Hulk" (it's an Eric Bana thing, you totally should understand because he is F-I-N-E Fine, honey). I also traded in "The Negotiator" and "Forces of Nature" which I owned for reasons I can't explain for "Punisher: War Zone" (blame that on How Did This Get Made?) and "Conan the Barbarian". It took a lot for me NOT to buy more movies than that and well, this is the beginning of this week's sale.

And can I just say I love Best Buy employees. I am sure earning a commission doesn't hurt (assuming they do work on commission and well, there is no incentive for the kids at the registers so they are just nice kids), but I have rarely received anything but great service from them. And despite those commercials that complain about big box store employees being ill-informed, lazy, pimply-faced teenagers, I have never had that experience with any of my purchases and I have purchased many a product from many a Best Buy. Computers, monitors, printers, microwaves, DVD players, blu-ray players, iProducts, always great service.

Here's The Thing

2011-10-15T17:55:00.004-05:00

I did the adventure thing and took 2 buses (would have been 3, but I decided to be healthy and walk downtown) to Roseville to see The Thing at 10 a.m. The theatre wasn't packed, but there were a good number of folks there. No one sat near me, THANK GOD and everyone was very well behaved.

The movie was actually okay. I didn't love it but I didn't leave all angry and shit like I did after Rob Zombie's Halloween. That may be because something happens at the end that put a big ole smile on my face. Overall, the movie does leave a bit to be desired. It is really just a bunch of half-hearted reinterpretations of scenes from the previous movie with a hint of The Thing from Another World thrown in. Instead of blood tests to determine who's an alien, it's teeth. We get a spidery thing again, but it's a little different this time. And instead of Keith David and Kurt Russell, we get Adebisi (yaaaaaaaay!) and some dude who was sooooooooo not Kurt Russell.

On the plus side, the acting was pretty good and the pace is pretty quick (almost too quick). Overall, I enjoyed spending that $5.

After the movie, I had a about 40 minutes before my bus, so I walked over to the Best Buy to look at movies. I watched Hanna last night and I kinda fucking loved that movie, so I wanted to buy it (which I did, on DVD). Well, lo and behold, there on sale for just $9.99 on the shelf was a blu-ray of John Carpenter's Halloween. Boughten!!! And next to that (not on sale) was the 30th Anniversary edition of Halloween II and the best part is that is that it includes Terror in the Aisles. Happy Dance!!!!

I really want to get a new TV for my living room because I want to watch blu-rays on a big TV.

I am rambling and losing interest in what I'm typing. I'm hungry. Will find food and my update this post later. Or this is as good as this is gonna get.

Prejudging

2011-10-13T13:25:00.003-05:00

After seeing that the Onion A.V. Club gave the new presequel of The Thing a C-, I have to remind myself that originally critics HATED John Carpenter's original (and also, Halloween) and well, we all know how that worked. That said, this is not being made by John Carpenter and this doesn't have practical effects but CGI which doesn't look as good to me, and there's no Kurt Russell (unless we get some surprise cameo, but I'm not holding my breath). I am still very excited for this and am already trying to plot and plan when and where I will go see it Saturday morning. Right now, I'm am feeling like getting all adventurous and heading out to Rosedale since it is the only theatre I can get to that has a 10:00 a.m. showing. All the others have starts around 11:30 or later. Boo! I like an early-early show because I hope everyone else is just not motivated to get up and out of bed to go to the movies at that hour. We shall see if I feel like getting up at 8 o'clock just to avoid other people. (I think I kinda am.)

Not down on Netflix yet

2011-10-12T13:32:00.005-05:00

Things I've learned: I can take Ryan Gosling more seriously as a smarmy, backstabbing politico than I can as a face-stomping tough guy. In other words, The Ides of March equal good. Drive equal not as good. But he is still fine as hell in both movies.

Next!!!

So I have been trying to wrap my little brain around this whole Netflix issue. Many people are still pissed about the separation of streaming and DVDs and its accompanying price hike. I too am not crazy about the price boost, however, I am not ready to go streaming only so I'm sucking it up. It'shttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif funny that people claim that the reason Netflix is doing this is so they can eventually drop DVDs all together. This argument was helped along by the now-abandoned idea to move DVDs to a new site and rename it Qwikster, which was dumb. Frankly, I don't see how Netflix would really benefit from dropping DVD. I like getting DVDs because of the additional content and options that are available. Right now, neither my Roku, my Blu-ray player, my iPod nor my Inspire provide closed-captioning or subtitles (unless a film is originally in a foreign language). We also don't get much in the way of bonus content with streaming and the picture quality on some flicks leaves much to be desired. I don't know how much of that is Netflix fault or the various players (can't do captioning/subtitles for Amazon either on my Roku...I don't think).

The other major beef is that Netflix is losing content. It was recently announced that come February of 2012 they will be losing a bunch of Starz and Sony content. The thing is I thought that meant those movies and shows would disappear from Netflix, but really it's just that they won't be available through Netflix Instant Watch. Now, while I'm sure that is inconvenient for some of the lazy fuckers who can't wait the two days to get a disc or aren't will to trudge over to their local Redbox (or if they're 'lucky', Blockbuster) to get the movie, it isn't the end of the world. HBO doesn't have a streaming deal with them, but you can still get HBO show DVDs from Netflix (for the most part). Waiting sucks, but remember when Netflix first became a THING and not only did you have to wait but you had to wait like 4 or 5 days between discs? That is rarely the case anymore.

And yeah, sometimes a movie or show you want is a Very Long Wait for a Very Long Time (looking at you Breaking Bad, although that is mute now since those are now streaming on Netflix), but if you just can't stand it anymore, you can do what I did and just buy the freakin' discs yourself, or even use some other type of streaming (which will usually cost you). Which is what all these people who are belly-aching about it and leaving Netflix will end up doing anyway.

I guess I have drank the Netflix Flavor-Aid (it wasn't Kool-Aid, y'all) and just won't give up on them yet. I am still DVDing and streaming and I just can't quit them.

Drive

2011-10-03T10:43:00.003-05:00

After wasting time seeing "Dream House" on Saturday, I decided I would see a GOOD movie on Sunday. I had been hearing all sorts of great buzz about "Drive" and well, Ryan Gosling is damn pretty. So on a sorta whim, I chose to head down to little-attended theatre St. Anthony Main. Boy, that place is drab, but in a nostalgic way. At the counter, I bought my ticket and then stepped over to the concession stand to get snacks. I stood there for about a minute before the guy who sold me my ticket (one of only three people working there), hurried over to sell me my popcorn and soda. Unlike the AMC experience I get at Block E, there are no looooong commercials for 10,000 TV shows, cars, and sodas before the trailers. Heck, there wasn't even any music. The seats aren't stadium and they are ripped and make you think twice about sitting in them. And there wasn't a string of trailers, just two if I recall correctly.

I chose St. Anthony Main figuring there wouldn't be a whole lot of people there. Turns out there were 11 of us at this particular screening. That is more people than where at "Dream House" and that was a new release.

Anyway, the movie. I think I saw something quite different than all the critics because I was not enamored of this film. It came across like a really long music video with bouts of random bloody violence. I like Ryan Gosling, but he is not someone I think of when I think of movie badasses. Maybe that was the point, but I just couldn't buy him as this tough guy who is threatening mob bosses. He was not helped by spending most of the movie wearing skinny jeans and a satin jacket with a scorpion EMBROIDERED on the back. The film is beautifully shot, but some of those came off as (forgive me for using this over-used word) pretentious. Lots of unnecessary slow-mo. I think I hate slow-mo. Overall, the acting was good but I didn't always get the characters' motivations.

All this to say, I came away a bit disappointed. Maybe I don't like Ryan Gosling as much as I thought. This is the second movie of his ("Blue Valentine" was the first) I've seen that so many people LOVE that I thought was just meh and the third ("All Good Things", anyone?) that I, personally, where I wasn't dazzled by his performance. I have liked him in things and I hope he redeems himself in my eyes in "The Ides of March".

On a side note: Bryan Cranston was in "Drive" (and "Contagion"). Good for him. Last night's "Breaking Bad" kicked ass!!!

Ketchin' up

2011-10-01T17:36:00.004-05:00

I am an old lady now. So there's that.

I've been seeing a few movies lately...in the theatre even. Recently, I have been keeping Block E alive. Not much else is. Hard to believe that place is only 10 years old. It is a virtual ghost town now. Everything is gone. Borders, GameWorks, even the Cold Stone Creamer is gone. The Mrs. Fields must be closed because it hasn't been open the last few times I was there even though there are still sodas in the fridge and cookies in the display case. So sad.

Downtown Minneapolis is very different from when I first moved here 20 years ago. City Center was basically a mall then with many of the same stores one would find at Southdale or MoA. Now, it has Len Druskin and GNC, plus some random shit like ProStaff and Kaplan University. What the heck happened?

Anyway, back to my recent movie adventures. Today, I saw "Dream House". I went in with low expectations because I thought it would be your standard haunted house movie. I don't tend to like haunted house movies. Ghosties just don't do it for me. Instead, it was this kinda Lifetimey mystery/thriller. Reviews are saying the "twists" were spoiled in the trailer. I never saw the trailer, so I didn't know what to expect, but that didn't stop me from figuring out half of what was going on within 10 minutes and well, the movie provided that twist at the halfway mark. The resolution (?) was pretty dumb and nonsensical and also, I do not get what people see in Daniel Craig. He has pretty eyes, but that's about all I can say about the guy.

A couple of weeks ago, I saw "Contagion" which despite what horror fans so want to believe is NOT A HORROR MOVIE!!! It's kind of like "The Stand," but without all the God vs. the Devil stuff thrown in. That is not a complaint. I would call it a disaster movie, but with less Irwin Allen. I really enjoyed that movie. And well, Gwyneth Paltrow dies in the first 5 minutes. Always cool.

I also saw "Don't Be Afraid of the Dark". See my comments above about me and haunted house movies. I don't know who was more bored by the experience, me or Guy Pierce.

"Dream House" was not helped by the fact that I watched a Netflix movie last night with a plot twist that was kinda similar. It was call "The Haunting". It's a Spanish movie about a couple who move into a giant house in the middle of nowhere (SURPRISE!!!) and the wife starts hearing noises and seeing things. It was a-ight, but I could have never seen it and been okay with life.

Not much going on in the social life. Had sushi with the girls for my birfday. Went apple picking with Bean the day before. There were no apples to pick really, but we did go through the corn maze which was pretty awesome. I would love to go through one of those at night. Wish I knew some adventurous sorts who would be down for that sort of thing.

Did I ever tell you about the times I tried watching "Breaking Bad" and just could not get into it? Twice I Netflixed the first disc of season one and twice I didn't make it past the second episode. Well, about a month and a half ago, I came across the first 3 seasons on sale at Best Buy for just $14.99 each, so for some random reason I bought them. Me and my impulse buying, right? I started watching that same day and pretty much devoured those first 3 seasons over the course of two weeks. I kinda love this show with its complex characters and cute Aaron Paul.

By the time I had finished my DVDs, AMC was over halfway through with season 4 and the first 3 episodes were no longer on On Demand. I thought about waiting until S4 comes out on DVD/Blu-ray, but who knows when that will be...so I bought a Pass on Amazon last Monday (Happy Birthday to Me!!!). I have watched 9 of the 11 so far. The only reason I'm not watching right now is because I am typing this little update and because I wanted to try to finish my book.

Speaking of books, that's the other thing I have been doing lately: reading. Earlier this year, I decided to give those Stieg Larsson books a whirl and really enjoyed them. Now, I am checking out other Scandinavian mystery series. Currently, I am reading the Erlander books by Arnauldur Indridason. I picked up the latest in the series, "Hypothermia" at the library this afternoon, but still have a few more pages to finish in "Arctic Chill". I am liking this reading thing.

I have also decided to revisit my Spanish learning. I was trying French for a little bit, but decided that my experience with Spanish called for me to handle that first. I have "Spanish for Dummies" and "The Complete Idiot's Guide", but finally decided that my best source was the one I paid over $100: my textbook from my Metro State Spanish class. I am taking it kinda slow and I am starting from the beginning even though it is a lot of stuff I have already learned, like, 5 times since I have taken about that many different Spanish classes. Every once in a while, I even get to use a word or two at work with a customer. Look at me with my international self.

And speaking of work, very busy of late. This nasty business of a cold has run amok through our offices for the last 3 weeks. We are really short-staffed, not helped by Lindsay going off to become a Driver Examiner last month and Vicki unceremoniously quitting about a week ago. That doesn't stop me from continuing to hunt for work with the Fourth District. Right now, there is a post that is basically the criminal version of what I do at the DMV. It would mean a pay cut, but it would be worth it to not have to take those hell-buses to and from St. Paul 10 times a week. They will keep posting jobs and I will keep applying. I may be old, but my will is STRONG!

Before, During, After

2011-09-10T14:08:00.003-05:00

Before Contagion: took public transportation to movie theatre, bought ticket with credit card (self-swipe), used theatre's public restroom (paper toilet seat covers provided), bought popcorn and soda with credit card (self-swipe), put "butter" and salt on popcorn.

During Contagion: sat in seat that has probably cushioned thousands of asses over the course of Block E's 10-year history; saw a trailer for the American version of "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" that made me want to claw my eyes out; wondered who decided that at nearly-70, Robert DeNiro should become an action star; continued to be baffled by the appeal of Robert Downey Jr. and Christian Bale; listened to the sniffles, sneezes, coughs and yawns of my fellow theatre-goers and added a few of my own (damn allergies); watched Gwyneth Paltrow DIE; enjoyed the heck out of the movie while simultaneously growing a wee bit paranoid.

After Contagion: momentarily contemplated sneaking into Creature before deciding I needed real food; used the theatre's public restroom (the door to which was propped open strangely enough); washed my hands for juuuuuuust a little longer than I did before the movie; hesitated at touching the handrail on the escalator; marveled at just how desolate Block E has become; took the skyway to Barnes & Noble to look at foreign language-learning books...again somemore; ate at an Indian buffet; took public transportation back to my crib; rushed into the bathroom to wash my hands.

That didn't take long

2011-08-02T13:22:00.003-05:00

Less than two weeks since returning to work and I'm already in need of a vacation. While I like a few of my CoWs, there are some that are showing some real asshole signs of late. One CoWs feels it is perfectly okay to have large gatherings of people eat lunch in her cube which spills into other work areas. She sits right near our mail sort area and her goof-tard boyfriend, a fellow CoW, and this old broad she hangs with from another unit are all sitting there while I am trying to get mail ready to sort. Goof-tard comments, "Oh, I guess this isn't a break area." I say, "No, it's not." They all get up to leave for one of the appropriate break areas. As she walks past she says, "Cranky, cranky." I continue to do mail while I contemplate a response and I go with emailing her that while she finds me "cranky, cranky" for being annoyed at this, I found her rude and thoughtless for thinking any of that was appropriate. She now claims she wasn't saying "Cranky, cranky", but was saying something about her cousin Frankki which is bullshit, but people never want to own shit anymore. She also says I'm rude for "directing such anger when none was directed towards me". I will allow that I can't verify that Frankki b.s., but I point out that my email was perfectly reasonable and that it remains rude and thoughtless to think having more than one person into your cube for lunch is okay. I eat in my cube on the regular, but I don't have a bunch of people in it and it isn't like we don't have a SCHEDULED time for doing this particular task. People's rudeness has been a constant source of irritation now that I'm back out in the world.

Shut 'er down!

2011-06-30T08:41:00.002-05:00

So at this point it looks pretty likely that I will be out of work (at least for a little while) at the end of the day. And despite what commenters over at the Strib might think, it will not be a "paid vacation". It is amazing to me the number of people who have deluded themselves into thinking that State workers are the enemy in this budget battle. So many of the commenters are exclaiming, "Shut it all down. It won't hurt me." They have this "that'll learn 'em" attitude which I just don't understand. In the one breath, they are bitching about greedy people looking for handouts and and in the same breath, bitching about leeches feeding off "my hard-earning money". Yet encouraging a shutdown which will require thousands of people to apply for unemployment. Apparently, they are the only people who actually work hard. They bleat, "I don't used/need any of the State's services." Uh, if you leave your house, you use State services, asswipe. Do you have a MN state drivers license or ID? Is your car titled or registered in the state? Do you drive on the highway to get to your much-more-important private sector job? Those are just a few of the areas where, yeah, you kinda do use State services. There are private businesses that do business with the state which may have to raise prices or cut services they provide because they are losing income because of the shutdown. The way these commenters talk, the only thing the State is good for is handing out welfare checks to undeserving, greedy liberals who don't want to work. The state is just good for nothing. One guy whines that he didn't get a reminder about renewing his tabs. So the state needs to babysit you to remind you to do what you're already know needs to be done? Newsflash: those reminder cards are a courtesy. Not a requirement. So many of them talk about personal responsibility, but so many of their complaints about the failures of the state are about what the state isn't doing for them. It's so infuriating that people act like we individual State workers not only don't matter, but some of them act like we don't exist. A shutdown is gonna do a hell of a lot more than "teach the legislature a lesson". What am I as someone who will be shut out of work in a down economy suppose to learn from this? The lessons learned will be a lot of people struggling to pay bills who will then cut spending in other areas and that is gonna effect businesses who are gonna lose out on those funds. There's a trickle down affect (remember that little phrase?).

This rant has rambled on for long enough. I did this to myself by venturing over to the comments section. I just get so incredibly angry when people look at those guys in suits at the Capitol like they are the only ones this will impact.

Make me want to Scream

2011-04-18T08:48:00.007-05:00

I'm still trying to figure out how I felt about Scream 4. I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. Coming out of the theater, I didn't regret getting up at 8 a.m. to catch a two buses out to the mall so I would only have to pay $5 to see it. Buttery popcorn and cherry coke for breakfast ain't no thang for me. It was more interesting than Insidious and it was better than Craven's last outing, My Soul to Take. But mostly, I thought it was really bland. Perhaps I am desensitized or jaded or cynical, but it just had very little impact on me. There were very few surprises, no real laughs and I didn't jump once. Even Insidious made me jump. And My Soul to Take made me laugh at times, although probably not for the reasons Craven might have wanted.

The Scream franchise has never held a place in my heart. It's a generational thing I guess. I grew up on Michael, Freddy, and Jason. I was raised on the cliches Scream mocks. (I had also already seen Scream's predecessor, Student Bodies waaaaaay back in the day.) And a lot of the horror cliches that are lampooned are things that came about in quicky cash-ins and sucky sequels to original movies that weren't cliched. While John Carpenter's Halloween, apparently, established the slasher film template (killer in a mask, "sluts" die, virgins live, 'I'll be right back' will be one's last words, etc.), I don't see it that way because that wasn't the films INTENT.

Side rant: Have I mentioned how much I hate that Annie and Linda are labeled "sluts" at all? Assuming "slut" refers to a woman who sleeps around, how are either of these girls sluts? They both have boyfriends. If it is just a matter of them being sexually active at all, then maybe people need to get over their madonna/whore complexes. End rant.

So the fact that the Scream films chose to beat that particular horse meant nothing to me. I was already rolling my eyes at the big-breasted girl running up the stairs instead of out the door.

Anyway, so the fact this franchise didn't really have much meaning for me may have factor into why I was mostly lukewarm on this outing. That doesn't mean there weren't aspects that were unlikeable. Most of the new kids sucked. I just didn't care as much about most of them as I did for the kids from the first movie. I liked Kirby (probably more than I liked Tatum, but that's because I don't like Rose McGowan), but the boyfriend was a stalkery douche and the film geeks were so uninteresting they shouldn't even be allowed to speak Randy's name. The endearing Dewey and Gayle from the first two films (I have blanked out all of Scream 3, except Courtney Cox's frightening bangs) are gone. Now they are bickery and cold and mismatched in a really uncomfortable way. And Marley Shelton's character was pretty pointless.

While I get what Craven was saying about people being so desperate for fame they will do anything, it just seems like old news. We have now been suffering through reality TV (in its present vein) for about 20 years (good GOD!!! I remember watching the first season of the Real World during it's original run!). And dumbass, horrible people committing murders in the hopes of being famous has been going on since John Douglas (or was it Robert Ressler?) coined the phrase 'serial killer'. Everything is being filmed all the time, huh, Wes? Well, no duh. That fact was brought home to me when we ended up with footage of the first plane hitting the World Trade Center.

I said in my comments on My Soul to Take that Craven seems a bit out of touch and I feel it shows here just as it did in that film. It's like he has had these ideas 10 years ago, but no one would listen to him until now.

Since I am finishing this post almost 5 months AFTER I originally started it, I don't really remember much about the film (which isn't much of an endorsement). I just remember being pretty bored and disappointed by Craven again.

Birdemic: This shit is bananas!

2011-03-10T18:17:00.005-06:00

Let's get something straight right off the bat: I didn't expect this to be a good movie. It's called Birdemic, for god sake! In addition, I was already hearing tales of its awfulness on the Internets when I first decided to put the movie in my queue. I figured it would be some kind of made-for-Syy level dumbness like MegaPython vs. Gatoroid, but hopefully, more fun because it wasn't so self-aware.

Well, Birdemic is an awful movie, but it is awful in a way that makes those made-for-SyFy movies look like they were helmed by Scorsese. The acting is on par with a middle school stage productions the direction is disjointed and jerky, even the sound quality is jacked.

How do I explain the "plot"? Well, it's really this director James Nguyen's attempt to scare viewers into doing something about global warming. That's the overall message told in the most clumsily preachy fashion ever. He imparts this message to us by having the film's protagonists, Rod and Natalie, get attacked by exploding eagles and vultures at random (after 47 minutes of meandering). And there's a lot of talk about solar panels and green energy and An Inconvenient Truth is name-dropped here and there. Along the way, Rod and Natalie hook up with other survivors of this attack and try to stay one step ahead of the CGI threat.

That's the nuts and bolts, but you kinda have to see it to really KNOW how awful it all is. I mean, people fight off attacking birds with hangers! And, you might think it easy to kill a flock of attacking birds with a machine gun (I don't know guns. Was that an AK?), but actually, you will probably average only one bird for every 50 rounds and those kills might actually be attributed to your friend with the handgun who's shooting right next to you.

I hear tell, this movie can be improved in two ways: Rifftraxx and listening to the audio commentaries on the DVD. While I had some awestruck fun watching it, I couldn't sit through it again.

Say a Little Prayer

2011-02-10T10:10:00.004-06:00

So this happened.

This morning at work, a nice lady came in to purchase a copy of her son's driving record. She complained briefly (and politely) about getting misinformation over the phone and running around town to different DMVs before we moved on to her transaction. There was general banter and chitchat as I processed her request. At the end of the transaction, she said I was the nicest State worker she'd ever met and asked my name which I told her. Then there was banter about how pretty my name is (it is!) and I joked about how the uniqueness meant I'd never hear my name on Romper Room (and trust me, I watched avidly hoping for THAT miracle). More banter which I tried to taper off because more customers were waiting. Then, she stuck out her hand to me which I took, prepared for a quick shake. Not to be! She introduced her self as Sister (name redacted...heh) and asked (while still gripping my hand), "Do you know the Lord Jesus Christ?" I kindly told her, "No, I'm not religious." She then proceeded to start praying for the Lord to "come to me". Note: she is still holding my hand and I still have 3 customers in queue. This went on about 20 - 30 seconds and I just stood there kinda stunned and thinking, "Uh, AWKWARD!" She broke off (still holding my hand) to ask if I had a husband and children. I told her no at which point she asked if I wanted a husband. I said, "Not particularly", and she laughed and (FINALLY!) let my hand go. A bit more banter and then she "blessed" me and went about her day.

Okay, here's the thing. I know she was just trying to be nice, but it was still incredibly uncomfortable, not just because she did this (quietly) in front of a waiting area full of customers, but because my requirement of being customer-friendly prevented me from snatching my hand away and telling her to skedaddle. It is really off-putting how presumptuous religious people are. One hears many of them whine about how intolerant those of us who are agnostic or atheist or just not into religion are, and yet they don't seem to realize the impact that being confronted with their religion EVERY DAY has on those of us who are not religious (and let's face it, in America when I say religious I mean CHRISTIAN).

Am I nuts here? Should I just shake it off as a kindly church lady doing something sweet for someone she had a pleasant encounter with? Or is it reasonable that I feel like I was kinda ambushed into "accepting" her prayer? And let me clarify, it wasn't just that I was at work that made this extra-weird, but the fact that, often, people who don't follow Christianity are made to feel like second-class citizens in this country. I say this as someone who grew up studying with the Jehovah's Witnesses (a Christian religion despite the failure to celebrate Christmas and Easter), so I know of both ambush religious tactics (who amongst you haven't complained about JWs coming to your door to pawn off Watchtowers and Awakes?) and religious persecution (try being the only kid in an elementary class not standing for the flag).

I get that people who are religious want to "spread the word" and share their faith, but it is just so arrogant to assume that the other party just has to take it because their "intent" is "good".

What say you?

Oh, now you try to put your foot down?

2010-11-05T15:28:00.003-05:00

So this happened:

Earlier today one of my coworkers brought over some mail that had to be returned to sender for various reasons. The majority of this mail is actually stuff received by a different department, but they are too lazy or stupid to be able to multi-task answering phone calls and typing on the computer at the same time. You see, sometimes customers misread the letters we send, so they send payments that should go to one of the counties to us and those have to be sent back. This task had been ours when I started, but we eventually got our boss to send it to the department this mail is actually addressed to. That was two months ago.

Over the course of these two months, we have been hearing a lot of grumbling from this other department about having to do this work. Whines like, "This is lot more work than I was told." Slowly, we have started to get some of this work back, largely because my boss still has this horrible people-pleasing problem. It's an issue I've counseled her about on several occasions and she makes tiny steps forward, but then someone pouts or whines or has a little hissy-fit and it's back to "I just want people to be happy" land.

So today, this other coworker brought this stuff over to me and I couldn't bite my tongue. I sent over a ranty email to my boss about how we have enough on our plate and don't need to be doing the jobs of others. She sent something back about how the person in this other department who does these is on vacation, so we're covering. I noted that we have TWO people out of the office and we aren't getting any volunteers from them (or any other department) to cover our asses.

A few minutes ago, I got pulled into a little meeting in which she says basically, "I don't like getting complaints about workload from people I see on Facebook all day." Ooooooooh, snap! You might be thinking. Well, no. Because as I explained to HER, "I can sort mail, enter over 100 record requests, AND cover the front counter all while typing up this whole blog and still have extra time in my work day." Response? None because she knows that shit is true.

I hate to bitch about my job in a time when I'm fortunate to even have a job, but this shit pisses me off. It's fine if she wants to be a yes-person, but then she needs to be the one doing the work she said yes to. Don't sloff it off on us just because you think you know something about how much time we spend on the Internets. Shit, she doesn't even know how much time I spend playing on my iPhone.

My Soul to Take aka My Time to Waste

2010-10-29T21:48:00.007-05:00

Despite listening to the warnings from the Bloody Good Horror crew, I went and saw this because they really made it sound awful but in a hilarious way and well, for me, that’s exactly what it was. The movie is utterly ridiculous. The kids are all really irritating. The story is a sloppy hot mess. The direction is a bit too modern and stylized for my liking.

The story was convoluted and nonsensical. At the start we see this regular-looking schmoe who it turns out has multiple personalities one of which happens to me a blood-thirsty killer dubbed The Riverton Ripper (why do movies and TV hate the mentally ill so?). The Ripper personality murders his pregnant wife then passes out and wakes up as Schmoe. Not realizing Wife is dead, Schmoe rings up his shrink who advises him to tell Wifey to take their young daughter and get the heck out. Doc himself will be right over. Schmoe realizes Wifey is dead and freaks out. Then he blacks out again.

Meanwhile, the daughter wakes up and heads into her parents bedroom where Schmoe is passed out on the bathroom floor. She goes to be with her mother and suddenly, Schmoe as The Ripper is rising up behind her, knife in hand ready to Ginsu the kid. Fortunately, the cops show up and blow several holes through him. He falls onto the poor kid who is snatched up by the copy. He’s all, “Are you okay?” and she looks at him with dead eyes and says, “Get away from me.” Hmm. Anyway, somehow the Ripper wakes up, gets the cops gun away from him and shoots the cop, then he shoots another cop (or maybe it was a EMT) who comes in. He’s about to blow away a Haitian EMT who walks in, but the cop comes to (yay, bulletproof vests!) and blasts him with his secret ankle gun.

Now, Schmoe the Ripper is being taken to the hospital. The cop and the Haitian EMT are riding along. Haitian EMT says something about Haitians don’t believe in multiple personalities, but multiple SOULS. Cop is radioing ahead about their crazy passenger and he gets an OB nurse who says, “It’s like totally bonkers here tonight. We have, like, 7 women in labor.” Cop is all, “Well, we’ve got the Riverton Ripper so make some room.” He also mentions Schmoe’s real name which causes the nurse’s eyes to get real big.

Suddenly, Schmoe the Ripper goes all Michael Myers in Halloween 4 and starts attacking the cop and Haitian EMT, slashing the latter’s throat. The driver loses control of the ambulance which crashes. The cop who was tailing them manages to pull out the cop who was riding in the ambulance. They find the gurney empty next to the river.

Fade to 16 years later. The kids of Riverton are having a gathering at the site of the ambulance accident (complete with the burned-out ambulance still at the site because apparently the town can’t afford a tow truck) and blabbing about how 16 years ago that day, 7 of them were born (and the guy HELPFULLY introduces all of the Riverton 7 because apparently, none of the other kids at this gathering know who they are…or it’s just clumsy exposition) and the Riverton Ripper died. Allegedly, every year, these 7 hold some kind of ritual where one of them shoves the Ripper down to keep him from coming back to wreak havoc. [Side-rant: the only possible annual tradition a group of 16-year-olds could possibly have is shopping for the first day of school.] This year, it’s up to our annoying protagonist Bug to do it. Out of the woods, comes a giant puppet that looks like a home-made Predator costume. Bug is a giant wuss who’s afraid of what he HAS to know is a dude in a COSTUME (I mean, they've been doing this for YEARS)! Before he can fulfill his “destiny”, the cops come and bust up the gathering. Kids go scattering into the woods. While they hide, we get random exposition that one of the kids is blind and another has an abusive stepfather. Did you say, “Whatever”? Oh, no, that was me.

To sorta summarize, the kids start dying. Is the Ripper back or is someone else offing these annoying little brats? Maybe the Ripper’s SOUL(s?) was transferred to one of the kids who was born the night he died. Woooooooooo! Spoooooooooky! Actually, it’s not.

This movie was laughably bad. Things are treated as important that turn out to have no significance at all. For instance, the blind kid. So while the nurse in the intro is on the phone with the cop, another nurse rushes by and says one of the kids is blind. This is a factoid you may or may not even hear. So you’ll have to watch closely to figure out which kid is blind. (I’ll admit I knew to look for him because the BGH guys mentioned it.) You do see him with a cane at points in the movie and I think someone else brings it up, but really, it’s not that important. Really. It's not.

Also a throwaway plot: there’s a whole lot of nonsense about the principal’s 15-year-old daughter being pregnant, maybe by this jock who is one of the Riverton 7. Wanna know how that turns out? Tough! It has nothing to do with anything.

Was there really a point to the born-againiness of the redhead? NO!

Was Craven trying to make some kind of STATEMENT about bullying with the one girl running some kind of (literal) hit list? And on that note, would the whole school really be in fear of some girl who was too dumb to graduate with her class the previous year (or two years)? I’d be mocking her for the idiot she clearly is instead of becoming part of her multi-ethnic mafia.

The one thing ONE THING I will give this movie credit for was doing something also done in the Friday the 13th remake. They gave me a Final Girl who wasn’t really the Final Girl. Here, they did it TWICE. We have two female characters who have much of what it takes to make it to the end credits. Neither is portrayed as particularly bitchy or slutty and they’re both fairly nice to, HECK, even ATTRACTED to, our “hero”. Doesn’t do much for them in the end. Meanwhile, the chick that’s mean to EVERYONE makes it to the end in the most inexplicable way possible. Whoops. Spoiler.

And let’s talk about The Ripper himself. Clearly, Mr. Craven has taken a page from the Guide to Making a Horror Film 2010 edition. Page #14 dictates that your killer must be at least 7 feet tall, have scraggly hair, and wear a trench coat (unless you’re remaking A Nightmare on Elm Street in which case you must cast someone barely taller than the kids he’s terrorizing as your antagonist). It skipped the page that said, “Unless his name is Jigsaw, your killer must never speak. That shit’s been done to death.” (Another page skipped in the Elm Street remake.) The first time I saw The Ripper (the actual killer…not the puppet the kids use for their “ritual”), I actually laughed out loud. Frankly, the thing looked like a Predators prototype that was rejected. Craven must have been walking through the set of that movie and saw this and when told they weren’t using it, asked to take it for his movie.

Oh, and this was shown in 3D in some theatres. I saw it in regular old 2D. I'm glad I didn't have to spend that extra $3.

Overall, I would never recommend anyone see this movie without copious amounts of booze and friends who are good at MST3King movies. This movie might just be The Room of the horror genre.

On the defensive

2010-05-06T11:05:00.003-05:00

Okay. I will stop trying to defend my dislike for the Nightmare on Elm Street remake riiiiiiiiiiiight NOW (uh, after this blog post). But by god, I am sick of hearing/reading comments from people that those who dislike this new one are giving the original too much credit because NO, no I am not. Maybe these people are giving the original too much credit for having an influence over how I feel about its remake.

Let me clarify something: I DO NOT THINK ALL REMAKES ARE BAD. Yes, I acknowledge that I did not like (to put it kindly) the Friday the 13th and the Halloween remakes. I will even admit that my dislike for RZ's Halloween was definitely colored by my own reverence for John Carpenter's original and my affection for that series as a whole. (Hey, you're talking about someone who will totally defend parts 4 and 5 (but never The Curse and Resurrection. I'm not crazy.) However, I HAVE LIKED REMAKES BEFORE. Honest. I swear! There is the remake of The Thing, but that's too easy. Let's go with newer stuff. I believe I was one of the few defenders of My Bloody Valentine 3D. I fucking loved that movie. I own that shit on DVD and have actually watched the 2D version and I STILL LIKED IT! I thought it was a heck of a good time. I got over the stiff acting, plot contrivances, and CGI blood because it was just fun to watch. Now, I've listened to the commentary and learned that the filmmakers were taking things waaaaaaay too seriously, but somehow that didn't come through on the screen for me. It was just a fun viewing experience.

And you know what else I liked? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Another Platinum Dunes vehicle even! Oh, I know for some that means I lose a lot of my horror cred and I will lose some more when I admit (once again, for I'm sure I've said this before) I am not enamored of the original. Yeah, I like it okay and I can kinda see how that movie might have been shockingly groundbreaking in its time, but it's just no great shakes for me. The best part of the movie is hating Franklin which probably isn't the objective. It's been a while since I saw the remake, but I remember it being suspenseful and creepy and also fun to watch. Its sequel: not so much.

Those are the biggest names I can think of. I also watched the Prom Night remake and didn't hate the hell out of it and I'm sure there are others, but I just wanted to point out that I'm not just some hater. The new NoES just didn't appeal to me. If this same flick had been a straight-to-Netflix-streaming movie with a creepy child molester mysteriously causing kids to die, I would have still thought it was boring (and I probably would have accused it of ripping off A Nightmare on Elm Street). I wanted it to be good and it wasn't and that has very little to do with how I felt about the first movie.

Okay, I'm letting it go now. I really am. On a side note, I almost wish they'd stop making remakes so we could all stop having this same tired argument.

Not over the hill yet

2010-05-03T13:17:00.007-05:00

Something is bugging me. Naturally after seeing the new A Nightmare on Elm Street movie and writing my own assessment of it, I ventured to a few other sites to see what others thought. I've come across one or two that enjoyed it, a couple others that absolutely hated it, but a majority (including me) which just found the film meddling. What bugs me is a lot of the comments made by others, specifically by people who liked the movie, about negative reviews. Many of these defenders are making the argument that negative reviewers are unfairly trashing this movie because they remember the original Elm Street too fondly. It has a ring of "Shut up, you old farts. It's our turn now." Maybe I'm a bit sensitive about that since I am one of them old farts.

The thing is that I don't think these commentors are considering several factors. Firstly, we fogies get to have an opinion too, even if that opinion is dripping with nostalgia. Trust me, I shrugged off terrible dialogue, ridiculous plot-contrivances, and mouth-breather acting when I saw the first movie back in my youth. However, I have to ask: isn't the objective of these new filmmakers to IMPROVE on the original? If the first was full of lame F/X, crazy plot holes, and dialogue no actual person would say, then don't you want to change that in your version? Secondly, it is reasonable for someone to expect better effects from a movie made in 2009 than a movie made in 1984. Filmmakers have so much technology at hand now, so yeah, your Freddy shouldn't look like a hairless rat. Finally, a remake is going to inevitably be compared to its fore bearers. Clearly, the makers of new Elm Street knew that because they CHOSE to include recreations of several iconic scenes from the original.

You know, one of the guys on the Now Playing podcast asked his fellow hosts, which of the 3 big franchise remakes (Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street), they thought was best. That question got me thinking and I was surprised at my own answer. Despite my complete and utter contempt for the film, I have to say it was...........................................Friday the 13th. (Hahaha, you totally thought I was gonna say RZ's Halloween. NEVER!!!) Looking at the film as an homage to the F13 series, I'd say those folks probably were the only one's to GET what those flicks were about (or at least the later flicks in the series). RZ's Halloween and (new) NoES seemed to take their subjects WAAAAAY too seriously. Both films seem to be scolding those old audiences for making icons out of the killers. This new Freddy will not be making an appearance on The Simpson. Michael Myers never gained the same kind of following as Freddy and Jason, but Rob apparently didn't like that we didn't know anything about where he came from. We needed to have Michael's story, in all it's trashy glory.

Now, I get that we old folks are gonna have different tastes than the youths. The person who becomes a horror fan after seeing Saw is gonna expect different things from the genre than someone who's first film was Friday the 13th Pt. 2 (me). Somehow in the 30s the Frankenstein monster's make-up caused people to faint. Times change, tastes change. But I'm not SO old that I can't appreciate some of the newer stuff. Who liked the TCM remake AND the MBV remake? This chick. But don't dismiss my dislike for nostalgia or plain ole hateration. Maybe, just maybe, I dislike it because it's just not likable.

A (new) Nightmare on Elm Street (some spoily stuff going on)

2010-04-30T12:36:00.013-05:00

Guess what I just saw? I saw a 10:30 a.m showing of NoES at Southdale. The theatre was thankfully almost empty with nary a talking asshole amongst the 10 of us seeing the movie. That didn't make the movie any more enjoyable unfortunately.

Need I recap the original series for you? Okay, if I must. Freddy Krueger is a burned-up pedophile who kills teenagers in their dreams as revenge for their parents going vigilante on his ass. To this film's credit, that story was actually told more succintly here. It was always confusing in the original series who the children of Elm Street were. Here, the kids being attacked are the actual victims of Kruegers, not descendants or siblings or whatever.

That is one of the very few compliments I can give this movie. Mostly it was just really boring. It wasn't fucking awful like the Friday the 13th remake, but it wasn't as good as the TCM remake. It's well-shot and kinda creepy, but it just seemed to amble along with eerie music playing, but nothing happening. And it seemed a little disjointed, like two different movies slapped into one.

The first movie....uh, 45 minutes is sort of a retelling of the Rob & Tina story from the first movie, except with an added boyfriend, parental duplicity & boredom. One kid "kills" himself & his girlfriend has a vision of herself as a kid at his funeral. She suspects she knew him before she actually KNEW him. She tells her stalky ex, but he vehemently doesn't believe her although a totally eavesdropping Nancy does. Later, Tina (or was her name Chris....I cared so little I really don't remember) goes all Nancy Drew, finds some stuff, tells her friends who gawk disbelievingly, then she has a nightmare...and well, that's not good for her. Creepy ex gets arrested for her murder, but not before visiting Nancy and sharing info about the burned dude in their dreams. Then he has a nightmare in jail and his cellmate is gonna have some 'splainin' to do.

Now, we're in movie 2 where Nancy and Quentin (formerly Glenn aka Johnny Depp) are trying to figure out what's going on. They do some research and we get Freddy's back story & I gotta say it is creepy. He's a gardener at a preschool the kids all attended and they just love him (probably because he's about the same size as them). Then rumors get started that he's being TOO friendly with the kids and before you can say McMartin he's getting chased down and then burned up real good.

But was he really guilty or was it a bunch of parents coaxing stories out their kids? Nancy and Quentin don't remember (due, in part, to a parental conspiracy of ridonkulous proportions. Sample dialogue: "Who remembers being 5?" Uh, ME!) and go about figuring out the truth.

I'll stop there. That part I thought was handled really well. The rest of the movie though was kinda lame. And I was not thrilled with our new Freddy at all. He was creepy in a way Freddy hasn't been (for me) since Dream Warriors, but he wasn't scary at all. The make-up really looked like shit & Jackie Earle Haley's diminutive size made him less than threatening (and yet, it added to the creep-factor in the pre-burn scenes, I thought).

Most of the acting was serviceable at best. I liked Tina & Rob for the most part, but Nancy was dreadful. Watching this actress is like watching paint dry. Also, she talks through her teeth (as did JEH as Freddy which I took to be a side effect of the burn. Not familiar enough with his work to know if he always sounds like he's wearing ill-fitting choppers) & just didn't seem to have any energy. The normally good Kyle Gallner also seemed lethargic in this. Maybe that was on purpose since they were supposed to be sleep-deprived. Mostly, it just came off as bored acting. The adults are practically a throwaway here Don't cast Clancy Brown and them give him like 3 scenes. You could have given that part to any yahoo off the street.

Ultimately, this movie just wasn't very entertaining. I can't recommend this one for theatre viewing. It just wasn't worth it.

Moving on

2010-04-25T21:28:00.001-05:00

So I'm all moved in to my new apartment. I've been here a week now, and so far, it's awesome. I'm kinda mostly almost unpacked. Despite my best efforts to get rid of some clutter before I moved, I still have too much stuff. I wanted to eliminate using plastic bins (aka Tupperware per Andrew Tricker) as clothing storage, but there's no helping it. I just have a lot of clothes. I donated a good bit of stuff, but I just can't seem to whittle thngs down much more. I also FINALLY broke down and ditched (most) of the shoe boxes. I still managed to move with about 20 (had over 50). Some were shoes that were meant for donation, but got swept up in the moving frenzy. I can still make donations and get rid of some stuff though.

The move went well. Andy, Damian, Rebecca, and Eddie were my helpers. Andy and Eddie both have big giant pick 'em up trucks which actually came in handy even though I got one of the bigger trucks. We managed to move from one 3rd floor, no elevator apartment to another in about 4 hours. The only damaged property in the move? One wine glass and that was only because of my bad packing (cast iron skilets and IKEA wine glasses do not mix).

I've been making trips back to the old place trying to make it presentable which is quite a feat when I haven't done much in that department in the 3 years I lived there. Cleaning blinds and windows is a p-a-i-n pain! I vow to dust the blinds in this apartment at least one a week while I live here. The fridge was a breeze as were the bathroom tiles. The kitchen floor will get another over and the ceiling fan looks okay. The oven is being a bit stubborn, but that's because my oven cleaner can got clogged. Now I have to boogey over there after work on Tuesday (a counter day no less) and try to get those last bits of burned on pizza cheese off the bottom. Overall, I might lose a few bucks (one of the blinds BROKE while I was trying to clean it), but I imagine I'll get the majority of my deposit back.

Another awesome thing about the new place? Free Internet! I don't know where it's coming from (maybe the coffee shop next door), but it's awesome because that's $47 Comcast is not getting from the kid. When I ditched that, I decided to up my cable package to Digital Economy. $30 bucks a month isn't so bad. Then I got my bill yesterday and saw they were charging me for internet and for internet installation. I called to get it straightened out today and managed to get in on a promo paying only $19.99 for my Digital Economy (which would actually cost me $40 bucks a month since it's my only Comcast service) for a full year. I'm awesome.

I also decided that the iPhone is like totally overrated. As a phone I mean. I like having the apps and the QWERTY keyboard and all, but I'm not so keen on the $39.99 Data Plan. So I dug out my old Samsung Sync and called up AT&T to drop that and reactivate my that phone. Now I have an 8G iPod Touch. I'm able to pick up the same Wi-Fi connection in my apartment on my phone...I mean, iTouch, but I don't know how it'll work elsewhere. Either way, I got my old Sync (with my old Halloween and Metallica ringtones) back. I also downloaded Skype and Textfree Lite.

After cleaning at the old place for about 3 hours today, I feel like a grimy ball of dust. Gonna hop into my (fabulous clawfoot) tub, before I head to nite-nite-ville.

What's in The Box?

2010-04-07T08:39:00.007-05:00

If I'm not mistaken, I heard good things about The Box. This far out, I can't remember where I heard those good things which is itself a good thing because I can't remember who to smack for making me think this movie might be good.

I expected a heck of a lot more which is maybe my own fault. Firstly, I knew it was based on a short story, but I somehow missed that it was based on a science fiction short story. Perhaps knowing that might have prepared me for the Sphere-like convoluted mess I was about to see. Secondly, I had my own idea of what this movie was about based on what I THOUGHT I'd heard. More on that later. Either way, this movie was not what I expected, wanted, or needed to see.

The basic premise is someone leaves a mysterious box on the doorstep of a yuppie couple. Later, a mysterious burn victim shows up and tells the wife her family will get a million dollars if she presses the button, but someone else will die.

Now, there are many directions this movie could go in. We could have a movie about the process of this young family trying to decide whether or not to press that damn button. We could have them press the button and then feeling guilty, they attempt to try to stop the death of the other person. We could have them press it and it turns out the million is sort of a monkey's paw. I'm no writer, so I'm just speculating here. But my lousy speculations are better than what we got.

So at the start, Cameron Diaz and James Madsen (and in retrospect, I honestly do not remember their characters' names) are woken up at quarter to 6 by a ring of the doorbell. She goes down to answer, but has barely missed the person. However, a box wrapped in plain, brown paper is left on the doorstep. She looks at it all curious like, picks it up, and brings it into the house.

Now, here's the part where I was wondering what the hell. In a post-9/11 and post-anthrax scare age, it is the rare dumbass who will just grab a random box left on their doorstep and bring it inside.

Next we cut to the couple opening the box in their weirdly decorated kitchen. It has one of those built-in eat-in areas and everything is yellow and brown including some wacky-ass wall paper, a very ROUND countertop TV, and the Trimline phone on the wall. I think, "Strange set design choice, but whatevs."

Anyhoodle, inside the box is a wooden, uh, box with a button on it which is under a locked dome...thingy. There's also a card which states a Mr. Stewart will come see them at 5. The couple and their son (who I'm guessing to be about 12) speculate about what the story is with the box, then head off to work, school, whatevs.

Here's another spot where I'm scratching my head. Everyone is dressed really funny with kinda old-fashioned hair and James Marsden is driving a kick-ass old skool Corvette, but it's no big whoop. Oh, yeah, Cameron Diaz is limping.

We first follow Cameron Diaz to her job at some fancy private school. She's teaching a class and some creepy kid with godawful blown-out hair is giving her the hairy eyeball. Mid-discussion, he asks her why she limps and she just stares blankly with melty-sad face (get used to that, you'll see it A LOT), then he asks if they can see it which she proceeds to do. To their credit, his classmates are calling him out for being an asshole, but they all stare intently as she takes off her sock and boot to show she's missing four toes on her right foot. The bell rings and everyone leaves with Blow Out proudly laughing.

This made no sense to me. Cameron Diaz reacts as if NO ONE had ever asked her what happened to her foot. I'll leap ahead and say, we learn later that she's lived half her life with this condition. Are we do believe that in 17 years she hasn't encountered that question? Hell, was he the FIRST student to ever ask? Whatever, ultimately, that has nothing to do with anything really, except it does sorta. Let's move on.

Next she's called into her boss's office where she's told the faculty tuition program is being eliminated. She looks sad somemore. I wasn't sure if that meant she was losing her job or that their kid wouldn't be able to go to school for free.

Then we head over to NASA and it might have been around here that someone said something that FINALLY clued me in that this movie was taking place in the 1970s. Yeah, I should have maybe caught my snap earlier, but the fashion, hairstyles (well, except for Blow Out's) and decor is juuuust this side of retro-fabulous that it could be modern-day.

So James Marsden is at a conference where his boss is talking about a space camera which took pictures of Mars which James Marsden helped develop. Some reporter lady asks question about the NSA's involvement which causes the room to go all a-twitter. The boss says he knows nothing about that sketchy-looking NSA guy sitting in the front row of the conference. James Marsden says something about the space camera to the lady.

Then we cut to James Marsden working on a special foot for Cameron Diaz. Some coworkers ask him what happened to her foot and he explains that when she was young she had to have a foot X-ray for some reason and the doctor accidentally over-radiated her foot causing her to loose 4 toes. Her family sued and she only got $10,000 which might have been a lot of money in the 1950s. Anyway, so now we know what happened to her foot which is sorta kinda important, but not really I don't think.

Oh, this is getting far longer than it needs to be. I'm not so good with the summing up but I'm gonna try and I'm gonna try to do so without spoiling it, but that might be tough since I kinda don't know what the spoiler would be because the plot is dumb or at least it was to me.

So Frank Langella shows up at 5 and tells Cameron that she can get the million dollars if she presses the button but someone they don't know will die and they can't talk to anyone about it. And he gives her $100 just for talking to him. She and James fret over it for forever then go see a play while the kid is at home with his babysitter. They come home and fret somemore. The next day, they fret evenmore then go to work. They come home and discuss it a bit, then Cameron just slaps the button like she's on Family Feud. Frank shows up later to retrieve the box and give them the money. Meanwhile, Cameron's dad is investigating a domestic homicide where a woman was shot by her husband while their kid was locked in the bathroom. They go to her sister's rehearsal dinner at Cameron's parents' mansion (that's some salary for a cop) and Blow Out is there giving them the peace-sign and staring. Other people are also looking at them weird. Someone tells James Blow Out humiliated Cameron in class. He attacks him and blow out gets a nosebleed. Oh yeah, lots of people get nose bleeds. They leave the party and go home. James drives the baby-sitter home. She starts spouting nonsense, gets a nose bleed then passes out. He takes her to her motel, then finds out she isn't whom she claims to be. She goes into her motel and all the other guests come out and stare at her as she makes her way to her room. James and Cameron both try to find out what Frank's story is. He has her dad run Frank's license plate number, she goes to the library to find out more about him. Frank calls her and tells her he knows what they're up to because he has employees everywhere. A weird looking dude watches Cameron from her backyard while she talks to Frank on the phone. James get accosted by a bunch of weirdos at a library where he gets chased into a room with 3 water portals. Cameron wakes up at home to find James in a waterportal hover over her. The water portal breaks and James falls out and they now have a flooded house. The kid wants to know what's going on, but the script makes nosense so he's in the same boat as us. They go to her sister's wedding. James gets kidnapped at gunpoint by the guy accused of killing his wife earlier. He drives and spouts nonsense until they stop the truck because of a Santa in the middle of the road. They stare for 20 minutes then get creamed by a truck. Paramedics arrive and only find one person at the scene. Back at the wedding, The kid goes looking for his dad and Cameron goes looking for the kid. Both end up kidnapped. And also at some point sketchy-looking NSA guy took James's boss to the place where Frank was struck by lightning which killed him but didn't. Frank is apparently watching all this from his own special water portal. Anyway, NSA guy takes the kid back to the motel where the guy from the backyard walks into the pool with the kid. James gets dragged before NSA guy and his boss yells something about him making a decision that will change everything or some such. Suddenly, James and Cameron are dropped off at home where Frank is waiting for them in their kitchen. Where's their son? What happened to the million dollars? What does Frank want?

I won't spoil it even though I don't think anyone should waste their time watching this movie. I confess to not being a huge sci-fi fan, although I can enjoy a sci-fi movie or even a sci-fi story now and then. I just found this to be too convoluted for its own good. I'm not sure if something got lost from page to screen or if the short story is just this random.

I guess I had hoped for a different story. A good movie could have been made about the family pressing the button and dealing with ramifications of that choice both real and psychological. Every action has a consequence. There was some of that, but none of it really made any sense. Heck, we don't even see them spend a dime of the money. Once Frank delivers it, it's never brought up again really. All the crap about water portals and other dimensions just seemed so unnecessary, but again, this was me watching this not realizing that the story had a sci-fi base (only caught that little tip during the end credits). I just can't say I liked this movie.

And by the way, this movie had a whopping 25 minutes of freaking trailers before it started! Twenty-five minutes!!! Normally, I would have just skipped them, but (1) I was making dinner, so I wasn't in a rush for the movie to start and (2) I didn't expect there to be so damn many. Didn't help that none of the trailers were for movies I even vaguely want to see...except maybe Book of Eli.

But speaking of movies about actions having consequences, I instant-watched a little flick called Nine Dead over a couple of nights. It's the story of 9 people who are kidnapped and locked in a room by a dude in a mask. He tells them they have to figure out why they are all there or he will kill one of them every 10 minutes. The star of the movie is Melissa Joan Hart aka Sabrina the Teenaged Witch. She is a horrible actress. Everyone else in the cast is awful too. The story takes some huge leaps of logic and you have to be prepared to hear a lot of yelling, but it's a okay flick to instant watch while you're maybe trying to figure out the best way to pack your yarn for your move or analyzing what that brown-ish thing with a freezer fuzz afro is next to the ice cream.

Paranormal Cash-in

2010-03-12T16:55:00.004-06:00

So Paranormal Activity has been a long wait on Netflix for many moons, but I noticed something called Paranormal Entity was available so I decided to give it a go. It arrived on Wednesday & since SVU didn't have any guest stars I gave a crap about (Lena Olin? really?), I popped it into the laptop as a nightcap.

This is one of them Asylum joints, quickly whipped up to cash-in on some of that PA money...and it kinda shows. The premise is amom and her two grown-ass kids are noticing, uh, paranormal activity in their home. The son decided to document the events with a series of cameras. Well, eventually, the daughter & a paranormal investigator are murdered in the house. The son is arrested for the crimes, but commits suicide while in jail. A year later, someone found the footage we are about to see. Don't worry. That will not be the first nod to Blair Witch we get.

The footage covers about 25 days in October. There's no point in going into a whole lot of detail. The entity starts out as a prankster who throw glasses form the kitchen cupboard when no one's around, turns the TV on in the middle of the night & crankcalls the house. The family sets up cameras to capture occurrences (which only happen at night apparently). In interviews, we learn that mom has been"talking" to her dead husband. We're told the entity is mostly focused on Sam, the 18-yer old sister & it's hinted that it's some kind of sexual demon, so they are pretty sure it's not Dad's ghost.

The brother walks around all the time sticking a camera in his mom's & Sam's faces. He is mostly skeptical of the ghost theory. Eventually, the entity steps up his game and goes from prankster to mean bully & psychological predator. He knocks over Dad's urn and walks through the ashes. He then leaves ashy footprints on the ceiling of the house. He also continuously knocks a cross that hangs over Sam's bed off the wall & yanks the covers off her while she sleeps. At one point, the entity makes mom write Maron on a piece of paper while she's sleepwalking.

All this time, the family is trying to reach this doctor who is apparently some sort of paranormal investigator, but he's on vacation. Eventually the brother (who is played by the director or writer or cameraman or something) sends Mom & Sam to a hotel while he tries to capture some of what's going on in the house. He goes all MacGuyver, placing bells on fishing line around the house. When a belll rings, he goes to investigate and gets scared by a moving chair. Then Mom & Sam call to say the entity has followed them to the hotel, so he orders them home.

I'm going on llonger than I'd planned about this movie. It wasn't very good. The acting was pretty bad with horrible ad libbing and it had a creepy vibe, but for the reasons they wanted. The brother's attention to his sister is a bit...unhealthy. On more than one occasion, he comes across her half-dressed or undressed & doesn't turn the damn camera off. Nevermind the scene where she's attacked in the bathtub.

I had heard of Asylum and its ilk before, but I'd never seen one. I can see how these might be fun to mock if you've seenthe movie they're ripping off. I just hope having seen this mess first, it won't wreck the real thing for me.

Hair! Hair! Long, beautiful hair!

2010-03-09T19:17:00.004-06:00

Things I want to punch in the face: Things I Want to Punch in the Face.

While I find many of the posts on this blog funny, this one really struck a nerve. Part of the reason it hit me is because the tabloids of late have been having a field day talking about how Angelina Jolie is turning her daughter Shiloh into a lesbian because she lets her dress like a "tomboy" and recently cut her hair short. Heavenforfend a little girl not have pigtails and wear pink frilly dresses everywhere.

The other part is the notion of some stranger having such a vested interest in the gender/identity of someone else's child. The writer SHOULD be embarrassed by her need to actually inquire about the name of this man's child, but decides that Dave Matthews committed the faux pas by allowing his son to have a "feminine" feature. That's none of her damn business! In this day and age, I don't understand why more people don't realize that YOU ARE A STRANGER. You may know you're just a cozy old auntie at heart who just ADORES the babies (like me), but in reality, you are someone with no connection to that child and therefore, no RIGHT to any information about her/him. Her saving grace is that she actually addressed the child's parent and not the child directly, but she loses points because she asked for his name (well, she asked for HER name) which is plain creepy. Don't we now teach that parents/guardians shouldn't have kids' names on clothing & backpacks so that STRANGERS can't trick them into thinking they aren't STRANGERS. Getting the info in front of the parent would be a neat way for a pedophile to make a child think he or she is a-okay when he or she accosts said-child later. (Or maybe I just watch too much true crime shit.)

And of course, she loses more points because when corrected, she pretended understanding , but then ran off and wrote a mean blog post about how Mr. Matthews' decision to let his son wear his hair long does not work within her social norms.

I don't know what to make of the "girly hoodie" comment. On the one hand, STFU, Dave Matthews. On the other hand, her comment about how "evolved" the kid was smack of a bit of hypocrisy. Cool that he's allowed to wear "girly" clothes, but only if she can see that he's a boy wearing "girly" clothes? WTH?

I posted a link in my comment to a Jezebel post about the Shiloh brouhaha, but none of the other commenters seem to give a crap. Many of them seem to agree that parents who let their boys wear long hair should "just deal with it" or freaking conform for chrissake!

Apartment Search: The Ending (?)

2010-03-07T18:13:00.003-06:00

I'm pooped. Tuckered out. I've been up and at 'em since 7 this morning. Got up and did five loads of laundry first thing in the morning. While I waited for that to get done, I went through stuff in my closet to see what I can donate. I'm not even close to done with that. I have a LOT of stuff I know I will never squeeze my hind end into again. I found stuff that still have tags on them! I got all tired doing that and hauling laundry up and down stairs, so now there's a pile of clothes on my bed that I'll have to put somewhere so I can go to bed later.

Afterwards, I went and got some chow then headed over to JAS for their apartment tour. We started as she stated promptly at 2. We saw 12 apartments. Some of them were really nice, including a sweet 1 bedroom in the building I used to live in. This was on the 2nd floor and had GORGEOUS exposed brick walls and dark wood trim. The kitchen was nice, but it had built-ins. The bathroom was AMAZING with the brick and clawfoot tub and pedestal sink. That place was $665. In fact, most of the stuff within my price range were studios which, no. We did see a 1 bedroom which happens to be across the street from the Stevens apartment I love (we'll get to that in a minute). It was small-ish but nice and it was $595. It had an open, step up kitchen with a breakfast bar and okay cabinet space. The bathroom was long and narrow, but it had the tub I want and it served it's purpose. Two good closets and the bedroom was workable.

The studios we saw were nice, including one at 20th & Nicollet which had stainless steel appliances and dark wood trim with a huge closet and cute remodeled bathroom, but again, it was a studio AND it was carpeted even though we could tell there were hardwoods underneath. What a waste.

After that, I met with Jaimin at Stevens Community again to look at the one I loved. She and her coworker told me that another couple had viewed it and were seriously considering it. That may have just been a sales tactic, but it worked because I said, "I want it." So I put in an app and a holding fee and she and I went to look at it again so I could take a few more pictures and make sure that I still loved it (I do!) and now I just have to wait and see if they like me enough to overlook a few minor glitches in my credit/rental history. My fingers are crossed because I really like this place.

I'm hoping to move Mid-April. I don't have to, but I always prefer having extra time to move then come back and clean the old place. Plus everybody and their mama will be trying to get a truck for May 1st. Only a few of us will want one for April 17 (mark your calendars, my moving friends...you know who you are).

So the waiting game begins. Now, I'm gonna will myself to find a place for all the crap on my bed.

Apartment Search: The Beginning

2010-03-06T18:03:00.001-06:00

(Everything typed above “Later details” is directly from my iPhone Notes, typed as I was out and about searching. “Later details” was done after I got home.)

Just saw a surprisingly nice carpeted garden level 1 bd @ 14 Oak Grove. It's called a 1+ because there are actually 3 rooms. The kitchen is kinda small with a little-ish fridge & an apt-size stove, but it's open and has a breakfast bar with lots of storage space under it. The living room has a built-in bookshelf and could handle my couch & table okay. There’s also a decorative radiator cover (she said something about the radiators not working down there?) which would work well as a TV stand, esp. since the cable hook up is right next to it. The next room is technically the bedroom because it has the largest window and a (large) closet, but it also has the bathroom (w/clawfoot tub!), so it'd be better suited as an office. Excellent for my computer, desk, bookshelves, yarn stash etc. Finally, there's a back room with a small window, but a huge closet. That room could easily handle my bed & little dresser and telly. Other notables: 1 more closet (next to front door), right across from the laundry room, free laundry, only unit on that level, extra storage, bars on front windows, other windows in a secure area, one month free w/12mo lease, flexible move-in. It's $620 which isn't bad. The ceilings are kinda low and while the bars might be nice, garden level still creeps me the heck out.

Ann (that was her name...and I can also speak with Diane w/questions) also showed me a couple top floor 1 bds w/hwd flrs. They were more expensive and smaller than the garden level. One is getting a similar kitchen remodel, but it was $660 & it gets a lot of freeway noise.

Now, I'm off to showing #2.

Showing #2 was awkward because there was another couple along for the view. I saw about 5 units in 3 bldgs, but I'm kinda mixing up units & bldgs at this point. The first was a studio on 15th & Spruce. It had nice dark wood trim, a Murphy bed (do not want, but it’s a kitschy feature), a smallish, but cute kitchen with built-ins & shelves, avg bath w/soaking tub, two closets & built-in linen storage. Nice, but still a studio.

I think we also looked at a 1 bd in that building, before heading to 215 W 15th, but I'm not sure. I do recall the 1 bd rooms having kitchens similar to the studio’s with built-ins & shelves. The fridges were in a little nook of the kitchen, kinda like my place at 203 19th. They had small closets, no ceiling fans, one had painted wood trim (boo). The one with unpainted trim was kinda dark, but it had a ceiling light in the living room. Also, the climb to the top floor which is where the painted trim one was was steep. Not so hot for moving long objects like queen mattresses, couches & bookshelves. Dark trim was on the 1st floor. Meh.

We then saw an apartment on the 2nd floor of 14th & Spruce. Very similar to the ones across the street, but the bathroom was in the bedroom of this on which always weirds me out since some folks are nosy. Not that I ever have people over, but it could happen. Also, he said there is concrete between the floors so less noise from neighbors. After that lead-footed a-hole above me at 18th & 1st, I’m weary of people above me on hardwoods. Some folks are thoughtless.

So those are contenders. I've been dodging dogshit for about 1 1/2 hours while waiting to meet with Stevens Community at 2:15. It's 2:05. Close enough my thumbs are cold.

Dammit! I might be in love. Running late. Details later.

Later details:

Since I had finished with The Park Apartments at like 11:45, I decided to try out the new Chinese/Indian buffet place across from Ping’s. It was decent, but I’ll stick to Richfield, thanks.

I was unable to find a City Pages or Onion on my way in, so I decided to check out Craigslist stuff on my phone to see if I might schedule more viewings while in the neighborhood. I left a message for the Gladstone, then decided to check out Stevens Community. The next time they could fit me in was 2:15, so I finished eating and wandered around Stevens for about an hour.

Jaimin was super nice and very fun to view apartments with. She only showed me two places, but she got a good read on what I was looking for. The first place was a 1 bedroom in the Blackstone building which is on the corner of 18th & 1st. Someone actually put in an application for that one after we came back from viewing the second place, so I won’t go on about that one. It was a really good size and pretty nice at $580. It had a dining room with wood wainscoting (I think that’s what it’s called.

Anyway, the next place she showed me was at 1800 – 3rd Ave S. It was on the top floor and I believe it was a corner unit. It was SUPER cute and I kind want to take it to the zoo and buy it ice cream. The living room is perfectly sized with good sized closet, lots of outlets, a ceiling fan, and cable/internet connection. Dark wood trim unpainted is a nice touch. Next is the kitchen which, although small, is A KITCHEN! There are cabinets up the wazoo and counterspace. I don’t even know what’s that’s like because I’ve never had it in an apartment I’ve lived in. The only problem I have with it is the stove (apartment sized—not one of the places I saw today had a regular sized stove) was electric. I really want a gas stove. Jaimin suggested I might be able to have them change it out, but I’m not sure how easy that is. Not a total deal breaker, but one of the few cons this apartment had.

Across the hall from the kitchen is a built-in armoire. Extra storage is always a plus. Next to the kitchen is the bath which has a modern sink with storage underneath, but I still get my soaking tub. Finally, the bedroom which would fit my queen and chest of drawers just fine. The closet could totally handle my clothes (especially if I give away/sell some of them) and I might even still be able to keep my shoes in their individual boxes as I like to do. (Although I do get that putting them into a couple plastic bins would save time and energy during the move.)

I loved Loved LOVED everything about that apartment (well, except that stupid stove). It’s on the higher end of my price range at $615 (I’d really like to stay under $625, $650 if it’s REALLY nice), but it’s so worth it, especially considering what I’m paying $675 (and what they will be charging $690) for now and considering everything else I saw today.

Even though I was hella tempted to put in an application (and did I mention how awesome Jaimin was? She was the most personable of all 4 of the folks who showed me apartments today). I did already have that appointment with Mint Properties and being impulsive has gotten me into apartment hell before, so I didn’t do it. (That doesn’t mean I might not call her tomorrow after my JAS tour.)

So I met Mint Properties guy at a sketchy ass building on 21st & 3rd. I’m no snob…well, actually, I kinda am…whatever. There was some strange old man standing in front of the building and I wondered at first if he was the person who was gonna show me places. Then some thuggish looking character came out and started trying to chat me up. Apartment Guy must have been waiting in his truck for me because he walked up almost right away (thankfully).

The places in this building were okay, but the kitchens were downright dinky. It’s like when building the place, they almost forgot they needed a place for a stove and a fridge and sink, so they knocked out a wall to stick those in. The floors weren’t even real hard wood. Those were pretty much a no from jumpstreet with the sketchy thug and the high price of $640.

Next he took me down the street to a place also on 18th & 3rd. This one was at the top of my price range at $650. It was on the second floor, but it was probably the biggest one I saw. The living room was HUGE. The current tenant has a couch and two chairs as well as a freakin’ dining room table in there along with her telly and other accoutrement. Next was a kitchen that beats the Stevens Community one. Lots of cabinets and decent counter space plus a GAS (apt-sized) stove. The fridge is tucked into a cubby across the hall where there is a built-in armoire next to the cute little bath with its soaking tub. There’re even storage shelves by the tub for towels, soap, etc. The bedroom is almost as big as my current one as was its closet. (There was also a closet in the living room. And there are ceiling fans in both the bedroom and the kitchen. I remember watching house hunting shows back in the day and people hated having ceiling fans in the bed room. With no a/c, I’m all for it. I hate being hot.

Tenants also get a free storage locker in the basement and there’s a place to lock one’s bike in the laundry room. The Stevens storage lockers were extra per month (can’t remember how much), but I don’t necessarily have to have one.

So I’m totally trying not to swoon over the Stevens place. It’s tough because I thought it was just that awesome. JAS, my landlords for that sweet exposed-brick unit I lived in the 1st time I moved to the Stevens neighborhood (and where Rev. Winter was my neighbor), is doing an Open House tour tomorrow showing studios and 1 bedrooms in their various buildings. I’ll see what they’re offering, but I may end up giving Jaimin a call tomorrow after (SC is open 10 – 6 Mon thru Sun) and putting in an app. I really really really loved Loved LOVED that apartment.

Must calm down. Breathe. Don’t be impulsive. I never even heard back from Gladstone or Hornig. And you know they’ve condo-ized the old building Rebecca & I used to live in (and Heide’s old building where the old guy lay dead for a couple weeks and the only response to complaints about a strange odor was car air fresheners placed in the hallways). All the granite counter tops in the world wouldn’t make BUY in that neighborhood.

So that’s day 1 of the apartment search. I already want this to be over.

SVU: Beecher/Keller Forever Edition

2010-03-04T21:52:00.002-06:00

Last night, fans of "Oz" got what they've been waiting for for over 7 years: a Beecher/Keller reunion on SVU. Was it worth it? Did it reach Oz-levels of homoeroticism? I'll let you know in a minute.

We got two episodes of the show last night now that Leno is no longer fouling up the 9 p. M. time slot. The first hour featured special guest star Kathy Griffin chomping up the scenery as some obnoxious lesbian activist who secretly loves men or some shit. I don't know. I came in at the half hour mark & I hate Kathy Griffin, but I did see that NBC chose to cut the not-so-hyped lesbian lip lock. Hmmm....

Having lost much interest in the show over the last few seasons, I wasn't even gonna watch the 2nd episode. The ballyhooing of special guest star Mischa Barton wasn't winning the show any points. However, what the hell else is on at that hour on a Wednesday?

The episode starts with a woman dressed like a hooker strolling down the street and being holla'ed at by some dude. I think he's offering to be her pimp. She blows him off and approaches some shadowy dude in a car. We next cut to her beaten and strangled corpse being looked at by the Dynamic Duo. They find a prayer card next to the body. Liv notes that another pro was killed in a similar manner and the same kind of card was left at that crime scene previously. Puzzled faces, credits, then commercials.

When we comeback, the squad is going over the evidence. It's here that I squealed with glee then I saw Lee Tergesen's name. Either you loved "Oz" and know exactly why that is fabulous or you don't give a shit, so I won't spend time telling you about the saga of Beecher & Keller.
(If you insist on knowing, go to Television Without Pity and read their "Oz" recaps, particularly starting with season 2.

Anyhoodle, I might have been lost in memories of hot man-on-man love (or running my bath), so I don't know exactly how we get to our red herring. (The dead hooker might have had friend who knew Red Herring was a client.). The guy is some rich douche whose wife tried to break him of his past hooker habit through religious shaming. Hubby had a tough time with it & started asking wifey for some special favors. She was having none of it and I don't want to say SVU seemed to be excusing philandering with hookers by blaming prudish wives ("The mouth is not a proper receptacle for the seed") but I just said it, so there's that.

Since we haven't seen Ms. Barton yet & it's only about 20 minutes into the episode, you won't be surprised that Elliot's own shaming session with Red the Herring gets interrupted by news of another attack, but this time the victim is alive.

Do you know who that victim is? Do ya? Do ya? You can have an Oreo if you said Mischa Barton. She's sitting in an ambulance sort of refusing treatment while a bunch of other hookers yell at her not to tell the cops about almost being killed. Suddenly, a TV pimp shows up in the crowd and urges Mischa (hooker name: Sunshine) to keep her mouth shut. The detectives can't resist the urge to get in someone's face and act all badass, so while they're distracted threatening the pimp, Sunshine manages to hop into a car & flee the scene.

Back at the squad, research finds Sunshine (real name: Gladys) & her sad story in the system. Seems she was born to a drug addict and ended up in and out of foster care til she aged out. She's been being busted for hooking since she was 12 yeas old. Sad.

Our Duo track her to an aunt's house. Liv goes to harass Gladys about talking to them about her assault which is a common enough trope on this show, but I'm quite certain doesn't happen to rape victims too often in real life. At least, I hope not.

Liv sneers at the fact Gladys' aunt has only provided her niece an old couch in the corner of her daughters' bedroom on which to sleep. Crazily, Gladys is grateful to have a place to stay. How stupid is she, right?

Liv tries the empathy route, telling Gladys how she knows she was lured into prostitution by that smooth talking skeezeball pimp (who had a ridiculous TV pimp name like Silky or something, but I can’t remember what it was), claiming he wanted to show her a better life. Gladys breaks down tells Liv about how he pretended to love her, then made her have sex with his friends, then told her she might as well get paid for it and suddenly she was a hooker…at 12! Gross.

Meanwhile, Elliot is in the kitchen insulting the hell out of Gladys' aunt. He accuses her of pimping Gladys out to help support her and her kids. Auntie, who has MS, basically tells him to go fuck himself. She says she took in her sister's kid despite her own difficulties & she don't have time for his accusatory bullshit.

I might have been turning off my bath water or heating up a Banquet frozen dinner because I can’t remember how we got to our next perp. Oh wait. I believe Liv’s guilt trip works on Gladys who heads down to the station to give them her story. She tells them that the john seemed all normal and nice, but them he got weird and asked if she was ready to meet her father. Then he started to strangle her. She passed out and came to with the cops there. They interview other pros (pro is short in SVU land for prostitute) who also had run-ins with this guy and lived.

I think they decided to do a sting to try to catch him. Alls I know is that the detectives end up at a scene where a young prostitute is struggling with some dude in a car. Elliot yanks the guy out and IT’S BEECHER!!! And I was super happy they were actually in a scene together because I was so sure that when Lee Tergesen finally did show up on SVU (after having appeared on both the other Law & Order incarnations…Trial by Jury does not count), the writers would be mean to us “Oz” fans and not give them any scenes together.

Anyway, Liv pulls the girl from the other side of the car and she tells them that Beecher asked her if she was ready to meet her father (*ding*) and started choking her, so she cut him. Beecher claims she attacked him, but Elliot presses him against the car, whisper-sneers something vaguely menacing in his ear, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Wow! That last part sounded like it could have been a scene from “Oz”.

Now, Elliot is questioning Beecher at the station. Beecher says he’s a minister who only wants to save the hookers from their lives of sin. He claims he didn’t kill them, only tried to talk to them about their evil, whorish ways. Elliot shows him the dead girls’ pictures and Beecher says he didn’t kill them, but whoever did sent them to heaven, so he really did them a favor.

Elliot decides to use Beecher’s religious zealotry to his advantage. He starts going on about confession and gets all handsy. Elliot starts reciting some Bible prayer (I’m a heathen who was too caught up in the hoyay to pay attention to which one) and Beecher stands up. Now, he and Elliot stand face-to-face with their hands on each other’s shoulders, almost embracing. Then they touch their foreheads together while finishing the prayer and it almost looks like they are gonna kiss and I was totally giddy because that was such a freakin’ shout-out and I think I fell in love with SVU again. (It doesn’t hurt that Stephanie March appears to have returned to the show.) They finish the prayer and Beecher rejects Keller…I mean, Elliot’s advances by saying he won’t be confessing to him today.

*Sigh* I need a cold drink.

So now Liv has convinced Gladys to i.d. Beecher in a line-up. In the room with her and the detectives and ADA Cabott is Beecher’s lawyer (played by “The Wire” alum, Delaney Williams). The lawyer starts playing mind-games with Gladys telling her the cops will arrest her for prostitution because by identifying Beecher she is admitting to being a hooker. Or something.
The cops tell him to shut it and encourage Gladys to make her i.d. They have the line-up dudes say the line about meeting your father. Beecher is 3rd in line and he’s giving Gladys the evil eye. Gladys is wondering why he’s acting like he can see her. The cops reassure her and tell Beecher to say the line. Instead, he goes totally religious wackadoo and starts stalking towards the glass. Gladys freaks and says, “That’s him” and runs out of the room and into a stairwell. Liv goes after her just in time to see Gladys go tumbling down the stairs. Liv screams for a bus (SVU speak for an ambulance) and goes to Gladys’ aid. It’s now that Liv and the audience see that Gladys, who has shown a fondness for big clothes, is a little pregnant. Ruh-roh.

(I’m not so good at condensing these recaps.)

So now, Gladys is at the hospital and the Dynamic Duo are talking to her doctor who tells them Gladys and the baby are fine for now. They ask the doc for some kind of information about Gladys’ medical situation and the doc is all, “Sure, just as soon as you bring me that warrant” and then he awesomely saunters right out of the room without glancing back. Why the hell don’t more people do that on this show (and the other L&Os as well)? Most times, the minute the detectives mention getting a warrant people are ready to hand over their first born.

Gladys is telling the detectives that she’s gonna change her life now. She’s gonna stop hooking, so that she can take care of herself and her baby the right way. Liv and Elliot start badgering her to give her baby up for adoption, but Gladys is having none of it. Gladys’ aunt shows up and freaks out upon learning about the pregnancy. Elliot decides to beat up on Gladys’ aunt some more. Again, he accuses her of essentially pimping Gladys and contributing to Gladys’ situation. She tells him to piss off and kicks them out of Gladys’ hospital room.

The next day (?) Alex goes to court to get Beecher held over for trial. His lawyer argues that the i.d. should be thrown out because Gladys didn’t really i.d. his client. Alex points out that Gladys flipped because of his client’s antics. The judge sides with Alex and Beecher is remanded without bail.

Back at the station, Alex explains to Liv that they’ll need Gladys to testify, so Liv should become her new best friend. Liv goes over to the aunt’s place with baby gifts, but the aunt has tossed Gladys out. Liv generously offers Auntie a new guilt trip about kicking out her pregnant niece. The aunt breaks down, explaining that she is just a single mom trying to raise her own two kids on her disability and she just couldn’t fathom taking on Gladys and a new baby. She has no idea where Gladys might be. Liv looks disgusted.

Fin (hey, Ice-T) finds a Craigslist add Sunshine has placed offering her services. The TARU dude finds a response and the detectives head over and bust in on two frat rats. They find Gladys passed out in a bedroom. Her water has broken and then she has a seizure. Time for another bus.

At the hospital, a doctor tells them they performed an emergency C-section. The baby is only 1 pound and has a plethora of medical problems. The doctor says the kid has between a 17 and 40% chance of surviving and that’s with a gang of expense surgeries. Liv asks if the doc is saying they shouldn’t try any heroic measures and the doc basically says no, much to Elliot “Family Man” Stabler’s chagrin.

At the squad, the Dynamic Duo have a fight about what should be done about the baby. Alex comes in and interrupts it, so Elliot stalks off. Alex still needs Gladys to testify against Beecher, but Liv doesn’t think she’ll want to leave her baby. Alex says if Gladys won’t do it, then Liv should arrest her…for prostitution. Hey, didn’t someone tell Gladys that the cops were gonna arrest her? Who was that?

Oh well. Liv doesn’t want to do it, but she heads off to the hospital anyway. She finds Gladys in the NICU lovingly staring at her baby. Liv tries to gently coax her, but Gladys does not want to leave her kid who could die any moment. (Never mind the fact that she JUST had a baby, like, hours ago.) When Gladys won’t budge, Liv decides to arrest her.

Now we’re at trial the next day. Justice is conveniently swift. I’d swear it’s only been like 5 days since they even found the first body. I imagine there are thousands of folks in county jails all over the U.S. who wish they could go to trial that quickly. I should say this might be a grand jury hearing, but that still seems mighty quick.

Anywayz, Gladys is on the stand being questioned by Alex about her attack. Alex gets her to lay out the details then hands her off to Beecher’s lawyer. He decides to go the “blame the victim” route continuously calling her a prostitute and referring to her by her hooker name. He says his client is the victim which causes Gladys to bug out. She barks that Beecher is the one who tried to kill her and did kill at least two other women. This outburst causes Beecher to bust out his crazy, and he starts screaming about her being a whore. He gets dragged out of the courtroom and seemingly off to Oswald to get his ass branded by a Nazi who will trick him into falling in love with a homicidal sex demon who will break his heart which will drive him to orchestrate the overdose death of the Nazi’s son and to cat-claw a guard to death all of which will lead to the murder of his own son and some serious Beecher whoring around. Awww, I loved that show.

I missed something here. The next thing I know is Captain Cragen comes by Liv’s apartment with a letter that was dropped off at the squad for her. Some legal document naming LIV the legal guardian of her damn baby along with a letter from Gladys about leaving to soul search and find herself or some such. Liv looks stunned. Me too.

We’re not done. Later, Liv gets a call from the hospital. Something’s wrong with her new ward. The doctors need her to authorize an operation. Liv stands there with her mouth hanging open for two hours while the doctor keeps trying to get an answer from her.

And then we go to credits because SVU is cowardly.

Damn that was long. It’s been a while since I delved into some SVU like that, but the Beecher/Keller reunion could not be passed up.

Long live Beecher/Keller!!! xoxo

Nothing special

2010-02-14T18:17:00.002-06:00

It's a bad sign when one has almost forgotten a movie only an hour after leaving the theatre, but that's about where I am with The Wolfman. I can't really say that any part of it really leapt out at me. Well, except for Anthony Hopkins' scenery chewing. None of the jump scares got me and I laughed at scenes I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be laughing at. Most of the acting (or was it the dialogue?) was tired and uninteresting and the two romantic leads had no chemistry AT ALL.

It wasn't a terrible movie. It's really just a boring movie which might be worse than being terrible. Last year at this time, I was still seething one day later about the remake of Friday the 13th. My anger has only slightly subsided lo these many months later. I can still recall every damn thing I hated about that movie. This time next year, I'll likely have forgotten I even saw this film.

Let me break it down for you

2010-02-13T10:28:00.003-06:00

One of my favorite comments regarding this Strib article:

Commenter says: [How about] donating the money received from these fines to charity. If I break a traffic law, I have no problem paying a fine. It is my responsibility to know my surroundings and what I can and cannot do in certain areas at certain times and if I dont comply, I should have to pay a fine. Thats fine with me.

I ask: What does this person have against the apostrophe? It's a perfectly good punctuation device. Also, I'm not so sure this person IS fine with it considering what he says later. Read on.

S/He says: I just am sick and tired of the police and city taking us for idiots. They say they dont do this to generate revenue. Fine, prove it. Donate the money to charity, there are plenty that need the funds, and I will believe that this is really a safety/congestion issue and not just a way to make money for the city.

I say: Saying something is not done to generate revenue isn't the same as saying that something is not a source of revenue. There is indeed a city to run and it does run on money. Using funds from fines accessed against lawbreakers isn't a terrible thing. And sending the money to charity isn't exactly going to change the way people behave. I don't want a bunch of assholes out there shrugging their shoulders at traffic safety because "at least the dough goes to charity".

The commenter continues: I agree people should follow traffic laws, but I also believe that police could be better using their time than sitting around a corner waiting to hand out a fine. With the murder rate going up so far this year in Minneapolis, I think police should focus their attention on the real criminals...The murderers,rapists,drug dealers and not upstanding citizens who just made a mistake and turned left by accident. Priorities a little out of whack. For every cop that sits waiting for people to do this, thats one less cop keeping us safe from the real criminals.

I say: Ahhh, yes. "Real criminals"! One of my FAVORITE phrases. Because traffic laws aren't "real laws" so people who disobey them aren't "real criminals". They just innocently made a mistake. They didn't realize they were doing something wrong as a line of cars behind them began honk their horns. They had no clue when drivers in cars that managed to whip around them gave them dirty looks and the one-finger salute what they could possibly have done to warrant such anger. They apparently also don't understand the combination of the red circle with the line through it superimposed over the arrow bent to the left.

For every cop that isn't busting jiveass turkeys who hold up traffic to make a left turn where they aren't supposed to, who block intersections when they fucking KNOW they aren't going to make it through the light (11th & Hennepin rush hour drivers heading to 394 I'm looking at YOU!!!), who insist on pulling their cars so far into the crosswalk that pedestrians practically have to walk into the flow of traffic to get to the other side of the street, there's an accident waiting to happen.

Here's another one I just LOVE (copied & pasted as posted on the site so they bad grammar is all hers/his):

About 6 years ago got a some sort of a ticket in Minneapolis. As a result, we have not visited the city since. As very well off, we are happy to deprive the place of revenue. We would encourage you to do the same. Avoid Minneapolis, go have fun somewhere else, do spend money somewhere else.

Translation: I'm rich and therefore, I should be able to come to your dirty little city and do whatever the hell I want. Since you've decided to treat me like I'm *scoff* any other person (the nerve!), I'm going to avoid spending my vast reservoir of wealth there, leaving you poor and desperate which is what you deserve for not catering to ME ME ME!!!

Piss off, you terrible driving dickwad. We don't want your kind or your dollars here. Even though I know that's a filthy lie because a rich, entitled prick like you is so going to have tickets for the Twins season opener at the fancy new stadium which happens to be in that terrible city that holds "well-off" fucktards to the same standards as everyone else. You'll be back and Minneapolis' Finest Revenue Collectors will be waiting, I hope.

Up the AFSCME

2010-01-27T11:49:00.003-06:00

So I'm pretty sure I didn't get that BCA position I bid on back in November. I still haven't gotten official word. I learned from another CoW who talked to the other person who bid on the position. According to my CoW, Other Candidate said she got offered the post and that she thinks she only got it because she has more seniority. I'm going with that because it makes me feel better to say she is not better than me. I mean, how much Law & Order does she watch?

But seriously, there is some bullshit going down. Our unit is dealing with some major bullshit involving shitty employees who can't be fired for being shitty employees because they are protected under our union contract. (Ex: you are a shitty employee when you take 6 weeks off work because of the "stress" brought on by planning the wedding you browbeat your fiance into having. This same employee was taking 2 or 3 days a week off prior to that because of the "stress" brought on by the lack of a proposal by her fiance. And you know how she is getting away with it? She doctor-shopped to find someone who would say she was stressed so she could get time off under the Family Medical Leave Act.) It's that sort of shit as well as good workers being passed over because they have less time in the organization (not less experience) and the extreme nepotism and buddy-bumping that goes on around here that really pisses me off.

I think I've mentioned before that my boss loves me. I have been offered opportunities for advancement in our unit which would really fall under the buddy-bumping. Positions that technically should be posted for everyone to apply instead have people just magically moved over. My cross-training presumably could have lead to a bump without formal application. I know it happens everywhere, but it doesn't cheese me off any less, particularly when it involves people who SUCK (CoWorker I Hate and King of Getting into Yelling Matches with Customers Dark Roots Derrick are now Team Leads even though both are really terrible at customer service/people skills) and when I'm one of the folks getting screwed.

What? Isn't everyone okay with stuff until it negatively affects them. At least, I'm honest.

But I'm only a little bitter. Okay, I'm a lot bitter.

I wanna be rich

2010-01-07T12:51:00.002-06:00

I really need to win the Powerball because I just can't deal with office bullshit anymore. I can't deal with bitchy know-it-alls or whiny, self-centered brats who pout when you don't say hello to them. I also can't stand having to carry lazy thoughtless motherfuckers who fell perfectly comfortable taking days off or strolling in late with little regard to how it effects other people. And I REALLY can't stand a supervisor who spends more time trying not to piss anyone off than actually supervising.

But more than anything, I can't stand constantly bitching about the people I work with. Some might say I should stop bitching, but when a good chunk of my time awake is spent with these assholes, it's kinda tough to let it roll off ya and since I can't totally go off on these motherfuckers like I want to, I have this blog. I don't call myself the Crotchety Crocheter for nothin'. I am thankful that I have a job right now and I can half-sorta pay my bills and feed my stupid face, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating to have to deal with other people's insensitivity and pettiness.

Then again, they may feel the same about me. Maybe my frosty, cold-shouldered, I'm-not-here-to-make-friends attitude pisses them off. Maybe I think I'm just an awesome workerbee doing her job and they think I'm a robotic bitznitch with a chip on her shoulder. They are probably right to some degree. I don't pretend to want to get to know them or to let them get to know me. I do believe that my only obligation here is to do my job well. I'm not paid to coo over their babies (if I'm not in the mood which is rare because I do love babies) or their puppies or listen to them bitch about their husbands. There's nothing gained by me telling them about what my friends and I did over the weekend, how my family is doing in Indiana, or whether I'll marry someday (none of these bastards would be invited to the wedding).

These people are driving me to smoke. I hate them for this.

Very interesting

2009-11-19T14:25:00.004-06:00

So I learned who Mr. BlackWife's replacement is today. When we got the email announcement the other day, my coworkers were bemoaning her as a total bitch and saying how much it would suck to work in DEV. Well, I had someone in Communications come to me with a request because reporters are sweating them about the bus accident last night. Communications Lady was looking for someone to explain this guy's driving record to a reporter. While I am perfectly capable of doing that, I didn't want to do that nor do I believe I am allowed to as a lowly CSSI (that sounds so cool, right? Just means customer service person). Anyhow, I suggested she get someone from DEV to speak with the reporter and walked her over there. When I walked to Mr. BlackWife's former office, the new boss was there and Communications Lady joked (sorta) about how I was being so helpful letting my lunch get cold while I helped her figured this out. Mrs. NotMrBlackWife said, "I remember you. You helped me with something a while back ago and you were so helpful I had you written up in [the department newsletter]." And yes, I remember that happening and not having a clue who the heck it praising me was but being pretty happy about it at the time. In fact, it had shown up shortly after my former supervisor had one of those "someone doesn't like your attitude" discussions, so I remember feeling pretty fucking smug about it. Honestly, I am pretty awesome to a lot of customers and fellow employees around here. I only ever hear about the assholes who pout when I don't say hello or dance a goddamn jig when they loll by my cubicle.

Anyway, so knowing that she and I have had one (two if you count today) positive experience makes me feel good about maybe approaching her about the cross-training thing if the BCA job doesn't come through.

Another thing on that, I wasn't quite sure how to handle the "thank you" letter (partly because I couldn't for the life of me remember the names of all three women I interviewed with). Most of my pre-interview communications were via email with one woman, so I sent a "thank you" email to her today. Not sure if that was the right thing to do especially since it's one of my cookie cutter Thank You letters which talk about how confident I am that I'd be a good fit. In retrospect, the note comes off a little arrogant. Hope that doesn't count against me. I'm feeling a little high on myself this week. I'd feel bad about it if I hadn't spent all of last week sick and feeling like crap on a stick and the week before that broke and depressed and cranky. I'm still broke, still coughing (stupid post nasal drip), and this job is sucking some this week, but for some reason I'm just not giving a hot fuck. I feel good, dammit!

I hope I hear something back (positive or negative) about the BCA before we head into Turkey Break next week. I'd love to go into a long weekend with some good news.

You're a lying liar of lies!!!

2009-11-16T09:47:00.004-06:00

So I emailed Mr. Blackwife TWO WEEKS AGO regarding starting my training in DEV. I had to ask him a question about something else that same day, and when I walked into his office he quickly informed me that he'd gotten my email. Well, apparently, he didn't' read it or he doesn't think I rate a response because I STILL haven't gotten a response. Granted, I was out ill all of last week, but he didn't necessarily know that and that wouldn't have stopped him from emailing me. So I can only assume at this point that Mr. BlackWife was full of shit when he talked to me about being glad to help me move and grow within this organization. Frankly, even if he did respond at this point, I don't know if I would want to work with him. I recall during the back and forth with my boss her stating he wanted me to "show" that I wanted something more from this place. I flat-out told her I would not be begging him for shit. I can't help but wonder if this is part of why I'm not getting anything from him. Maybe he wants to see just how many emails I will send to him. Well, the answer to that is ONE. I won't count my chickens before they hatch, but I hope my interview with the BCA goes well. I would rather ride an extra 1/2 hour on the bus to work than deal with this bullshit. If he thought this Sista had an attitude before, he ain't seen nothing yet. Now I AM bitter and pissed off and now I WILL be giving him the stink-eye when I see his sorry ass in the hall. Either he was lying when we talked or he doesn't have the balls to tell me it isn't gonna happen for whatever reason. Either way, I don't appreciate being left hanging.

Update 4:20 PM
Well, well, well. Guess who just dropped by my cube to say he hadn't forgotten about me? Why, Mr. BlackWife. That's swell and all, but I still have my fingers crossed for my interview on Wednesday. It's creepy because not only did I post this rant today and he happens to show up, but I was just about to log into Facebook to say how happy I was to be back at work after being out last week.

Mad bullshit!

2009-11-04T08:30:00.003-06:00

Some things are pissing me off lately and I'm calling mad bullshit on them.

I call mad bullshit on my boss whining about how our unit doesn't "communicate" with each other, then not bothering to inform ALL OF US about things going on in our unit. One has to lead by example, see? If I have to send a unit-wide email out when I'm gonna miss a day, she maybe should do the same. Changes to the way we do mail, answer phones, or assign tasks is something we ALL need to hear about from THE BOSS, not a fellow co-worker.

I call mad bullshit on my boss acting like we're kindergartners and "punishing" all of us for the actions of one. Fine. Jeans at the front counter don't look professional. Okay. Any of us could be called on to go to the front counter at any time for a variety of reasons. Deal. I will keep a pair of pants (or a skirt) at my desk in case I need to work at the counter on a non-scheduled day. Only ONE PERSON seems to conveniently never have a change of clothes, but does she deal with THAT PERSON? No, she decides to implement a no-jeans policy for everyone. Make like a boss, and BOSS!

On the same tip, I call mad bullshit on my boss throwing up her hands and deciding to let the prisoners run the prison (for lack of a better analogy). She came up with a scheduling plan and some of us were fine with it. Occasionally, people shifted things around, but rarely was it inconvenient to anyone. A handful of people got their whine on, so she decided (without informing all of us) to let each of us do the schedule. Yeah, guess how well that's working out. Someone actually scheduled herself at the counter on a day when she's at a class in the am and leaving early in the pm. Call me crazy for thinking it's either boss or our team leader who should be telling us what to do and when. Perhaps if either of them COMMUNICATED with us by informing us that the schedule was about to be prepared and ASKING us if we had any time off scheduled or classes, some of the scheduling debacle could be eliminated.

I call mad bullshit on my boss telling everybody what she thinks they want to hear. I know people think I "have the boss's ear" (heck, I believe it, to a certain degree). It's great that she feels it's important to listen to everyone's concerns, complaints, and suggestions, but it isn't always useful to say whatever is necessary to appease that person and not share what may be similar issues with EVERYONE.

I call mad bullshit on our unit getting the short-end of the stick. Why is it someone from our unit has to cover the reception desk? Why do we have to sit out at the counter all day while other units lounge at their desks, often not checking their queue so our unit's counter person has to run back and let them know when they have a customer out front? Why can one of our workers go over and cover phones and their counter while they have a department meeting, but our unit has to schedule our meeting an hour before start time rather than have someone from another unit cover for us?

I call mad bullshit on Mr. BlackWife not responding to my email. I emailed him yesterday asking when my cross-training might begin and if there were any problems to let me know. Later, I had to go to him with a customer-related issue. He kindly informed me when I walked in that he'd received my email. Because I had some dude holding on the phone, I didn't dwell on the issue at that moment. I then didn't hear anything else about it and still have not gotten a response.

I was feeling a little guilty about bidding for that BCA job since I was finally seeing potential with a boss I like and possible advancement opportunity. Right now, I'm so annoyed and sick of so much of this bullshit I'm will to suffer through the hour-long bus trip to the sketchier side of St. Paul for what I hope would be a change of scenery.

Gnews

2009-11-02T12:30:00.003-06:00

It's been a while, but that's just cause my life is not that exciting. Since the episode with Mr. BlackWife there hasn't been much going on. We made loose plans for my 'training' to start and so far, nothing has happened. I'm starting to wonder if that was all a bunch of Who-Shot-John on the part of my boss. I don't know. I just know I'm extremely burned-out at this place. Maybe I'm just having a bad day...or week, but it's taken a lot of energy to drag my ass in here the last few weeks.

There was a post for position similar to mine at the BCA and because of my talk with Mr. BlackWife, I initially wasn't gonna apply for it but decided to post a bid for it today (the deadline). Working in DEV is much more along the lines of what I want to do because it would allow me to use my criminal justice education and my psychology course work at the same time. Maybe something like that is available at the BCA, but not likely. Still, I liked working there before (even though it's so far away and it felk less bullshitty than working downtown). I think I'm gonna email Mr. BlackWife (AGAIN) and see if this training thing is gonna happen. If so, I can maybe rescind my bid. If not, well I'll cross my fingers that the BCA hires me and I get through the probation period without cussing out a criminal.

Otherwise, things have been pretty boring. I haven't gone to the movies since Pandorum despite vowing to every other weekend. No Paranormal Activity or Zombieland or District 9. Money's too tight for traipsing off to the theater anyway. I did a good bit of satisfying my horror itch though and now I have no idea what to do with my Netflix queue. I'd love to FINALLY finish season 3 of Dexter, but disc 2 has been a "long wait" since it was released in August. I was gonna see if my local Hollywood Video had it last Wednesday, but um, I missed the memo that told me they were packing up and moving out. If I get desperate maybe I'll check with Blockbuster. Maybe.

My lunch break is almost over and I still haven't gotten any lunch yet, so I'm gonna end this abruptly right here.

This might have been my most boring post ever.

Getting this over with

2009-10-07T10:23:00.002-05:00

I'm meeting with Mr. BlackWife at 11 today.

Update: So I had my meeting with Mr. BlackWife and he seems like a nice enough, sincere guy. We talked for about 30 minutes about what I hope to do here and in the future career-wise. He was very helpful in explaining what they do in DEV and what I could learn there. He also told me how my experiences there could help me make a move to another area (say the courts or the BCA).

Overall, it was a good discussion and it looks like I'll be cross-training beginning in the near future here. I'm really looking forward to it. This job might not be so dead-end after all.

Um, not letting it go

2009-10-06T14:06:00.004-05:00

So I just left yet ANOTHER meeting with my boss. She was on the verge of tears and asking me if I want her to resign because she feels so badly about what happened. Egads! This is getting fucking ridiculous.

The good thing is that I got some clarification about what the heck is going on. For example, she let me know that she never told him everything about our conversation. On Friday, she went and told him we had a conversation about my "attitude". That's when he said she shouldn't have told me that. None of the wife stuff was brought up apparently (since he's actually above my boss and she certainly isn't looking to get fired). The conversation they had was just two supervisors discussing advancement potential of an another employee.

It's good to know that he doesn't know about all this. I can kinda go in with a clean slate, but I still need to hold off a day or two to make sure my head is in the right place. Perhaps tomorrow or Thursday I'll try for the sitdown with him.

I have now made it CLEAR to my boss that I have heard the last of her apologies. I told her frankly, it wasn't my place to make her feel better about all this and that I really need to give some time and space to sort this out for myself. She agreed, but encouraged me to go speak to him and utilize him as a valuable resources into other criminal justice opportunities.

I really hope this is the last of this. I feel a little bad because she feels so bad, but I can't deal with her checking on me every 2 or 3 hours giving me the puppy dog eyes of how sorry she is.

Perhaps I will use all this as leverage so we can wear jeans again. And I might just leave a wee bit early today too.

I KNOW Black people pt. 2...It's complicated

2009-10-05T15:06:00.005-05:00

So remember my little work dilemma from the other day? Well, my boss tried to fix things on Friday and she kinda has made what was a kinda awkward, mildly humorous situation into something extremely uncomfortable.

She came to me on Friday and said I should disregard everything that she said because she shouldn't have told me in the first place. She was referring in particular to that bit about his wife which she explained was personal information she told her in confidence. She said she might have made implications about what he meant by that that weren't his intention. I acknowledged that the information I received was second-hand and therefore, not as reliable. However, I also let her know that she could not unring that bell and that the impression I got (and clearly, she did as well) was that the personal information was given to her as a way to explain why he had a particular impression of me. So frankly, I think it was relevant in our conversation. (AmIright?) And mind you, she did confirm that he did indeed make the statement about his wife. I told her she didn't really need to keep apologizing to me, but I also told her that the situation was now strained and that I wasn't so sure about working with him.

Well, this only made her feel worse, so what does she do? She goes and tells him about the conversations she and I had on Thursday. According to her, he told her that she had no business telling me that bit of personal information and that I should come speak to him. She brought this bit of info to me and that's about when I nearly went off. I was working the counter and biding my time until lunch, so I certainly wasn't about to rush off to have a sit-down with this guy over this. I told I would not be going over to speak to him (that day) because I certainly would have an "attitude", so I planned to take some time and hash this out.

Well, guess who stopped by my cube today? That's right. Mr. BlackWife! He says, "[Your boss] said you were gonna come by to talk to me about a school project." Uh, no, but perhaps someone is confused. I told him I wasn't coming over today, and he gives me a why not look and I'm like, "It's complicated." He just says, "Whenever you're ready," and walks away.

Before I was mostly a little annoyed, dumbstruck, and mildly amused. Now that I think about it I'm pissed. And the anger has definitely shifted from Mr. BlackWife to my supervisor who just keeps digging this trench for all of us to sink into. As much as I'd like to believe I could, there is no way I can meet with this guy without bringing all of this up and getting pissed again. This is now an advancement opportunity that has kinda been fucked FOR me. I didn't even get a chance to screw this up. After Thursday, I figured I'd give myself a week or two to mull everything over and let myself simmer down. Now, I still feel like I'm at a disadvantage if I go see him sooner and yet, I feel like the longer I wait, the worse the situation. Like I'll look like I'm holding a grudge.

I don't like it when I feel someone else has sabotaged an opportunity for me. Granted, this isn't something that was guaranteed, but now I just don't know if this is a reparable situation because it's all wonky.

This is like that episode of Seinfeld when that couple asks Elaine to be a reference for them to adopt a baby and she's all "Oh, sure. I'd love to," but she then totally tanks it for them by talking about the guy's bad side. Yeah, it's a little kinda like that, but slightly less funny.

2009 Year in Review...so far

2009-10-05T11:13:00.001-05:00

I have seen A LOT of movies this year. I’ve probably seen more movies in the theater this year than in the last two years combined! And I LIKE IT! I have to give credit to a lot of podcasts which have helped refresh my love and appreciation of the horror genre. Having seen so many flicks this year, I feel the need to take a look back and review the year 2009 so far.

I started the year off all atwitter for the release of My Bloody Valentine 3D in January. While I do like the original, I’m not a giant fan of it, so I wasn’t too annoyed by it being remade. As it turned out, I really liked this movie. Unlike a lot of the recent movies, it’s is not a name-only remake. By taking the film out of small town 80s Canada, they modernized it and added a different element. Many seemed to think this was a fault, but I tend to hate modern remakes which try to recreate the time period of the original film more than ones which go with a current theme and setting. The acting in this one is a bit stiff, particularly from Jaime King and Jensen Ackles. Having seen the latter in Supernatural, I think that’s just his thing, but it’s still kinda lame. The kills were good, serviced by the awesome 3D. In general, it was actually fun to watch. And yeah, I did buy the DVD with its blue/red 3D. It doesn’t look nearly as good, the movie still holds up for me.

The Unborn also came out in January, but I certainly wasn’t gonna see that trash in the theater. I ended up Netflixing it back in August and it was so incredibly forgettable that I’ve pretty much forgotten it. I seem to recall a spooky-eyed kid, but that’s every movie nowadays.

Having enjoyed MBV so much, I was super-excited to go to the theater again (something I have lost interest in as I grow older and more crotchety) to check out the remake of Friday the 13th. This was bolstered when I saw the teaser trailer. But then I saw the theater trailer and my enthusiasm waned a bit. Thumbs up for the nod to the original movie’s trailer, thumbs down for showing off too many jump scares. And then I saw the movie and lordhavemercy was it awful. Convoluted attempts to cover events in the original movie series, bad acting, hateful characters, and “clever Boy Scout” Jason were some of the problems I had with this movie. A lot of reviews claimed this one harkened back to ole skool Friday the 13ths, but not for me. I happen to love the early films in that series, particularly the first 4 (I’d venture to call them the pre-zombie Jason films) and I didn’t find any of those characters as vile or obnoxious as in the remake and Jason had much menace than in this movie. Modern filmmakers seem to think a killer can only be frightening if he’s a hulking mass of muscle. I’d advise these filmmakers to peruse a few true crime blogs to see just what sort of damage average-sized citizens can do.

My wait for DVD choice in February was The Uninvited starring Elizabeth Banks. I rented this one a few months ago and found it surprisingly decent. The plot started out pretty standard, so much so it was almost irritating at points, but then the TWIST happened (and no, I didn’t see that coming) and some of the irritating character ticks made sense. I am sick of twist-within-a-twist movies, but at least it keeps me on my toes.
I stayed away from the Cineplex in March, forgoing hanging out with a bunch of strangers to see young girls get raped. I only recently Netflixed The Last House on the Left and my expectations were kinda low, not just because I hated that trailer with that “Sweet Child o’ Mine” remake, but because I actually do not like the original AND because I was sooooo disappointed by F13. About the original, I must say perhaps I’m just jaded or perhaps it’s the bits of camp thrown in, but it just didn’t have the impact on me that others speak about. I can see where it might have been a bit shocking at the time, but mostly it was just boring and a little over-the-top. This one I found more brutal, but also more relatable. Not only did I feel more of a connection to the girls (and later her parents), but I felt more of an understanding of the criminals in this one. I will admit that the survival of two of the characters was a bit of a cop-out and the end scene was…well, it was random stupid, however, everything prior to that made those fairly minor flaws.

Still feeling some of that F13 dejection (and yes, even now at the end of September I’m STILL bitter about what that film did to me), I hopped on the bandwagon for The Haunting in Connecticut. This did not make me feel better about paying $6 (matinee) for a ticket and almost $10 for soda and popcorn (both small, mind you). I pretty much hated this movie. I have a real issue with movies that are allegedly based on real events that then do some ridiculous stuff that in no way happened in real life. I mean, did the cancer kid in real life (SPOILER!!!) really find dead bodies behind the walls? I doubt it. Also, I guess I never really felt like anyone was actually in danger since this is based on the family’s own account which shouldn’t matter since The Amityville Horror (the original) managed to scare me with a very similar premise. Of course, I was about 8-years-old and studying the Bible with demon-believer Jehovah’s Witnesses when I saw The Amityville Horror. Also, one word: JodyThePigFacedDemon.

I pretty much spent the next few weeks getting caught up on DVD releases. I finally watched Let the Right One In and while I really enjoyed the movie, I certainly didn’t think it was as amazing as the hype made it seem. I’d even argue whether this is even a horror movie, if I were better suited to get into that type of argument. I’m not, so I won’t, but that might affect how I feel about the reverence this film gets in horror circles. Again, it’s good, but it’s not all that.

May brought us Sam Raimi’s “return to horror” Drag Me to Hell. LeSigh. I did not like this movie. As I noted in my post on the movie, I was in Hell at the theater with a quite talky audience. What I might not have mentioned is that I am not as big a fan of the Evil Dead series as others. I liked the first movie and the second is a-ight, but the hijinks of Army of Darkness turn me off. (Not that that stopped me from buying it.) There! I said it. Sue me. Or move on with your life because this really doesn’t affect you.

I’m pretty sure it was during this time that I ramped up my Netflix streaming activities. I managed to watch some gems, including Splinter, Severance, Shiver, and The Signal (lots of S-titles there). I don’t believe I watched all of those in April/May, but whatever! I watched those and I liked ‘em! Also streamed and liked so far this year: Red (not really horror, but it’s based on a Jack Ketchum story and it has Kyle Gallner who is becoming a bit of a horror staple so go with it), Shrooms, Spiral (again with the S’s), Right At Your Door, Grindhouse: Double Feature (FINALLY!), Prom Night (the remake which I *gasp* didn’t hate, although I also *meh* didn’t love it), Blackout, The Host, and The Alphabet Killer. Streamed and not liked: Deadgirl. Not all of these are NEW, but they’re new to me so let it go, mmkay.

And I wasn’t just streaming movies! I also got some stuff in the mails too! I have been a movie-watching fool, yo. I think it’s the lack of fancy cable and my inability to get into any TV shows. So, Things What I Liked: Midnight Meat Train, Donkey Punch, Cold Prey (See it! See it now!), End of the Line, Shuttle, Eden Lake, Rogue, Black Water, Frontiers (ah, the French), and My Name is Bruce. Some of these might have been streamed, but I can barely remember what I did last week, let alone months ago. Besides, does it matter if it streamed or if I got the disc? I didn’t think so. I do know that some, like the awesome Cold Prey, are streaming now so get thee to Netflix.

Now we’ve reached the halfway point in the year. My movie-going activities heat up starting with checking out Orphan in late June/early July (?). This was another surprisingly good flick with a twist I didn’t totally see coming. I mean, I got half the twist, but not the whole twist. I hope we see the young actress who played Esther in more stuff in the future because she really rocked in this. My only complaint it that this suffered from a similar problem I had with The Uninvited: Dolty Dad. Dudes, get a freakin’ clue.

The end of summer saw me at the theater a 5 whole times. I started August with The Perfect Getaway, sort-of who’s the real bad guy vehicle. I came away initially not all that pleased with this one, but in retrospect, I think I really liked it. At least, I’d watch it again, which is a good measure of a film in my book.

As you may recall, in late August I created my own double feature by seeing Rob Zombie’s H2 and The Final Destination (in 3D) on the same day…at two different theaters. The Final Destination (viewed at MOA) was only okay. The 3D was weak and the story and acting were terrible. And then there was H2. Even now, one month later the overwhelming reaction I have to this movie is disappointment. Rob really missed the boat on this. As I stated before, somewhere in the hot mess that was shat on screen was a good movie (or maybe two). Rob just didn’t know how to execute it.

Finally, we have reached September with the remakening Sorority Row. This movie was a big vat of meh. I kinda just didn’t care. Also, last weekend I checked out Pandorum and I didn’t really like it. However, I think I have to see it again because I might have not gotten it upon first viewing. I might see it again in a cheap theater (which wouldn’t be too painful since it starts the luscious Ben Foster…purrrrrrrr).

So that’s what I’ve been up to movie-wise for the past 9 months…and there’s more to come. This weekend brought the opening of Zombieland which I’m mildly-excited about (only mildly because I’m just not crazy about horror comedy). And there’s a couple of more genre flicks before we reach the Oscar-bait Only part of the movies season. So I’m looking forward to check out more stuff. I haven’t lurved everything, but I’ve been happy seeing flicks on the big screen again. So yeah, there's that.

I KNOW Black people

2009-10-01T19:58:00.006-05:00

So this happened.

This afternoon my supervisor pulled me into a meeting. Backing up, a few weeks ago I had my annual review (1 1/2 months late, but whatevs...pay-freeze means no raise, so I wasn't missing out on anything except her telling me how awesome I am). In that review, she explained that she can see that while I'm good at my job, it isn't very challenging for me and she can sense that I am getting bored. She clarified that she doesn't want to lose me in our unit, but that she also sees potential for me to grow. Knowing my interest in criminal justice, she suggested that over the next year I might do some cross-training with our Driver Evaluations unit which deals with the more criminal aspects of Driver and Vehicle Services (suspensions, revocations, DUIs, and the like). She told me that she would speak to that unit's manager about me and see what he thinks of the idea.

Flashforward to today. In our meeting she told me that she spoke to him about me and the cross-training thing. She said she sang my praises and told him about my educational pursuits. Apparently, this guy also got his education through Metro studying criminal justice and psychology, so his interest was peaked. Except for one thing: he thinks---wait for it---I have an ATTITUDE problem! My super explained that I am a take-no-guff no-time-to-stop-and-chitchat sorta person, but I'm also very funny, very friendly (when you get to know me), and most important, very good at my job and with dealing with customers. His response was that he is married to a Black woman so he knows about attitude and he thinks there's "something else going on". He used examples such as I barely acknowledge him when I pass him in the hallways or I don't make eye contact with him when I see him. He told her that he is intrigued and to tell me if I really am interested I need to show it by approaching him. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled at the end of our meeting (but I love my boss, so we walked out laughing), but I told her I would definitely think about it. I also told her I was totally gonna tell my friends about his "I have a Black wife" comment because that's how I roll.

Well, I've been mulling this over since walking out of that meeting room. I've been trying to decide if I'm crazy to be a little offended by this. This isn't me mulling over a potential lawsuit or anything, but I'm just really pissed. What the hell does his marriage have to do with anything? He knows a Black woman so he can make stereotypical generalizations about all of us? Oh, you know Black women and their attitudes. I've been dealing with this shit all of my life and it gets really tiring. I know I can be a frosty bitch some days and I do have a tough time hiding it, but so often the complaints are things that I suspect are an issue BECAUSE people hold this stereotype about Black women. People have bad days, dammit. It's not a Black thing; it's a freakin' human thing. I walk by plenty of people everyday at work who don't make eye contact or attempt to say hello. I don't assume they're all racist. And that's a lie by the way because I've totally given this dude the 'how's it going' headnod. Am I supposed to do a fucking cartwheel when I see him? (My boss jokingly suggested I grab his balls and bark hello inches from his face. You see why I love her?)

I expressed this to my boss who became worried that she maybe shouldn't have told me that part, but as I see it, she had every reason/right to tell me as his assessment of me as a person (who happens to be a Black woman) are based on the "knowledge" he's gained about Black people through his marriage. HE TOLD HER AS MUCH! So she's not in the wrong.

Now, the opportunity to work in DEV would be great. Boredom isn't the only reason I spent much of the morning reading DUI statutes. This is something I would like to examine more. As remarkable as it may sound, I really like dealing with customers. Hell, I spent almost an hour on the phone explaining records to a customer earlier today. More than a few times I've gone out of my job's way to Google a statute to explain something a customer didn't quite understand. I've even calmed down irate customers a few times. ME!!! Ms. Attitude.

However, I don't know how comfortable I feel about approaching him. This is further bolstered by comments my boss attributed to him which make it sound like he wants to study me like a lab rat. She used words like "fascinated" and "intrigued" and "interested". Since this was her recounting her conversation with him I can't really put them into context, but it kinda skeeves me out to think someone (a potential boss) is looking at me like "I want to get to the root of her being." The way I explained it to my boss, it isn't in his fucking job description to analyze me (and this was an informal meeting and my boss pretty much adores me, so I actually did drop that f-bomb on her which just made her laugh). Assess me to see if I'm suited to the job, yes. Play Oprah and get to the root of my "attitude problem', not so much.

So I think I'm gonna go to my supervisor again and ask her how much of what I learned about their conversatio I am free to bring up to him IF I decide to pursue this opportunity. But help me out here, friends. Am I being overly-sensitive here? If I meet with him, should I bring this up? I'd really just like to hear him clarify what he meant by that statement and how (the hell) he feels that has anything to do with whether I should cross-train with DEV. So I'm asking for feedback. Honesty is appreciated, so tell me what you really think.

Things what I hated about H2 : Spoiler-y edition

2009-08-31T11:27:00.002-05:00

Yeah, I know I said I'd wait a few days, but I've changed my mind. Deal with it. There are some mad spoilers in this, so fair warning and all that.

Okay I've already detailed how looong the opening sequence was. So let's get to the other stuff.

Like New Laurie. This chick is ir-ri-ta-ting! I couldn't relate or sympathize with her at all. I get that the trauma of the incident is suppose to have caused this big personality change, but her so-called rebel came off as a freakin' BRAT. Apparently, one concept for the original Halloween II was for Michael to come after Laurie 3 years later as she's started to move on and put her life back together. I always thought that would have been interesting (and sorta ended up happening with H20), but I liked the continuation of events through the night. I feel Zombie's story might have benefited from a wider time span between the previous movies events and this movies (and in reality the movies are 2 years apart, so why not).

Here, Zombie tries to remedy some of what he screwed up in part one by giving more depth to his characters. Unfortunately, he clearly doesn't know any real people. Laurie and her new friends are just obnoxious. They say 'fuck' a lot and make sexy comments because that's what wild women do. Annie is about the only character I really felt was broadened in this film. You did get a sense that she just wasn't over nearly being killed a year ago. The credit for that might just go to Danielle Harris more than Zombie. Once again, he fails to really flesh out his characters, at least the ones you're supposed to be scared for.

I also didn't like the random kills just thrown in. What was the point of him stopping at the Rabbit in Red except for the reference to the first movie? Yeah, okay. He comes across the trash guy during his travels (another WTF thing about this movie...I kept thinking of Metallica's "Wherever I May Roam" when those scenes came up), but why bother going into the bar to kill people? I'll allow the people in the truck, but it still seemed thrown in to up the kill count. While I get that Michael stalks and kills Laurie's friends, the killing of the girl in the van was so random (and perhaps to a similar kill in Prom Night, hmm?), especially since he freakin' teleported to the house moments later. (Another sign of the Jasonifying of Michael Myers by Mr. Zombie.) A lot of the kills in this movie seemed to be there as an attempt to keep people from falling asleep.

I know some people find Giant Michael more frightening than Carpenter's Michael, but his massive size takes a lot of the suspense out of the movie for me. Michael's "normalcy" in the original film is one of the things that makes him so terrifying. Yeah, big guys are scary, but it's that quiet guy you THINK can't harm you that you really need to look out for most of the time. Frankly, I was amazed at the number of people who thought screaming obscenities and threatening a guy who's 7 feet tall was a good idea. Not so surprising when he stomps your face in, dude.

And then there was the Loomis stuff. On the one hand, that was really interesting. I'm into true crime books & shows, so I know that there are a few opportunists out there. (If you ask me, Vincent Bugliosi is one of them. Yeah, I said it! Seriously, read his egomaniacal book Outrage about the O.J. case. THAT should have been called If I Did It as in If I Had Been the One Who Prosecuted the Case). I can get behind Zombie's portrayal of him as someone who would attempt to turn Michael's rampage into a money-making ego stroke. However, it didn't seem to fit with the rest of the movie. I know it was important to Laurie's finding out about her parentage, but a lot of it seemed wasted in this film.

I will give him this: he managed to sneak in a lot of nods to films in the original series which was actually enjoyable. I remember specifically the referral to Michael as a shark. (You may recall Busta's character in Resurrection saying Michael is a "killer shark", that is if you haven't blocked that abomination from your memory.) And the ending definitely harkens back to the ending of Pt. 4 when Jamie has "become" Michael. Also, Laurie sharing visions with Michael is a callback to Pt. 5. And of course, there's the hospital stuff. Here, Zombie managed to "remake" the original Halloween II without it feeling like a rushed obligation the way his "remake" portion of Halloween felt in the first film. Those subtle cues worked way better than stuff like the Rabbit in Red thing.

And one other thing, while I wasn't feeling the love for the new Michael (poor Daeg), that kid and Taylor Scout whatshername look a LOT alike, especially that end scene. Nice casting in that one area.

Lastly for the good stuff, the scene when Laurie walks out with that mask on was genuinely freakin' creepy.

Hey, I can give credit where credit is due.

Simply put, I thought it was a poor follow-up even to his own film. Somewhere in there was some potential, but it got lost in translation somehow. Disappointing.

Plan to see H2? This spoiler warning if for you.

2009-08-30T00:11:00.009-05:00

I am about to spoil the shit out of the opening sequence of the movie, so if you haven't seen it and plan to STOP READING NOW!!!

Okay. So yeah, I saw this movie. Despite hating his reimagining of my favorite horror movie EVER, I tried to go in with an open mind. Honest I did! No, for real. I DID! After seeing the trailers (particularly the one withOUT ghostly Sheri Moon), I was intrigued. I went in wanting to be surprised, but came away disappointed. The movie was a convoluted mess.

The movie starts with Laurie wandering in shock through the rainy, deserted streets of Haddonfield after the events of the first movie. She is found by Sheriff Brackett and transported to the hospital where we get loving close-ups of the docs treating her many injuries interspersed with shots of the bodies, including Michael's, being removed from the Myers house. Now the ambulance van is transporting him along a lonely stretch of road. One of the paramedics is talking about how hot he thought dead naked Linda was and how he'd love to fuck her. The other guy is hunched over the steering wheel like your grandma telling the guy how gross he is. Then he decides to get in on the fun and tells a disgusting joke about fucking corpses. Then they slam into a cow in the middle of the road, as you do. Dirty Joke Paramedic is dead and Corpse Fucker Paramedic is pinned and coughing up blood (that happens a lot in this movie). Suddenly, Michael kicks his way out of the van, comes around front, grabs a shard of glass, and stabs Corpse Fucker to death.

Cut back to Laurie now convalescing in the hospital (Haddonfield General here). She has a boot cast on one leg and one arm is bandaged with pins in it (if there's a name for that I don't know because I've fortunately never broken any bones). A nurse is sleeping in the room, but doesn't hear her struggle out of bed and wander off to Annie's room. Annie's in a coma and Laurie cries and begs her not to die on her. A different nurse comes in and starts helping her back to her room. As they are moving down the hall, the nurse is called away to an emergency. Laurie gets dizzy and hobbles back to the nurses station begging for drugs. The nurse returns with a cut on her face and then starts coughing up blood (surprise). Laurie takes off, but not before seeing Michael come in and chop the nurse up but good.

Laurie gimps it down the stairs and runs out of the building. The gate is locked (which is kinda weird because it's only a hospital, not a military base) and hides out in a guard shack which is empty. Michael comes out just as the guard drives back up. Because of the torrential rain storm he doesn't see the mass of seething flesh with an axe off in the distance. He hustles into the shack and finds Laurie hiding under the desk. She's hysterical and can't really express her concerns. He offers to get his car and drive her back. He locks her in and heads to his car. We wait a couple minutes before he returns and is about to unlock the door when Michael whacks him in the back with that axe he procured. Laurie goes back under the desk and Michael literally smashes his way in, and kills her.

Or does he? DundunDUUUUUUUUN! Yeah, since that's only 20 minutes of movie, you probably know that was all a dream. A fucking 20 minute long dream sequence. Frankly, it only goes downhill from there. We get Michael the Hippie Wanderer walking the fields(?) of Haddonfield & killing random people for no fucking reason. We get visions of fucking Sheri Moon channeling Mrs. Voorhees and little Michael and a white horse urging Michael to kill (but not specifically). We get a new little kid playing little Michael. We get egomaniac Dr. Loomis on a book tour with his sassy assistant. New Laurie is no longer a goody-two-shoes baby sitter type. Dude, she has a tramp stamp and she doesn't comb her hair so she has 2 dredlocks and she wears jeans with holes in the knees and says 'fuck' to just about everything and she has even MORE irritating, skanky friends than in the first film. She's badass.

The one thing I will say I found enjoyable were the nods to films in the original series. He manages to reference just about all of the prior flicks, mostly in subtle fashion that I thought was a nice touch. There! I said something good about the movie. I'm not a total hater. Just mostly.

I might post a more detailed explanation about specifically what I hated about this movie in a few days or weeks after those who are gonna see it have seen it and everyone else has thoroughly spoiled it everywhere else.

Overall, I thought the movie was a hot convoluted mess. The completist in me is glad I've seen it, but I can honestly say that if there is another film in the series (god help us), I won't be rushing out to the theater on opening weekend to line Rob's pockets.

And in related news, I saw The Final Destination (TFD, as I call it) today. This movie is far from great, but I had a better time at it than I did at H2. The 3D bothered me more in this one than it did in MBV, but most of the effects worked. Hey, I'll admit it. I flinched a time or two. This is strictly for the theaters. Certainly not worth seeing on DVD.

I need a vacation

2009-08-27T15:02:00.002-05:00

CoWorker I Hate has barely shut her mouth all fucking day. That is made worse because she is talking to CoWorker Who Sits Next to Me by shouting over the cubes like motherfuckas aren't answering phone calls and trying to get work done. This same stupid bitch has actually whined about my use of headphones. Do you see, people? Do you see why I fucking Hate her?

I wish I could make you understand. She's loud and abrasive and smug and acts like she like she wrote the fucking DMV statutes, and gets all pissy when you blow her off or prove her wrong. Her voice is this annoying mixture of nasally Minnesotan, braying hyena, and side-of-the-teeth lisp. I'd rather have to listen to nails on a chalkboard on my iPhone.

And I know she hates me because I'm not afraid to tell her she's wrong or to blow her off or to not kiss her ass. I remember when I fiiiiiirst started, she was sitting with me at the counter and I was trying to explain something to a customer. Granted, I was knew, but she actually shouted over me three times. The customer actually said, "Would you let her talk?" She got real snappy with him basically saying, "Well, she's new and I know what I'm talking about." How rude, right? I left and wouldn't go back out to the counter with her after that.

H2: The Rationalizing

2009-08-16T15:09:00.004-05:00

So I just read (most of) an interview some dude did with Rob Zombie about H2. As I've said a few times before, I'm intrigued by the idea of this movie. I'm not gonna be one of those people who just will not see a remake on some kind of principle because occasionally, I might be surprised (MBV 3D, TCM). That isn't always the case (F13), but at least my hatred is based on something.

While I'm still not a fan of the first film or Rob Zombie in general for that matter, I really am gonna try to be open minded. The key for me is just ignoring the fact that it's a follow-up to his crappy remake. The interview makes it sound like Rob is trying to move his films away from the original series as much as possible. He isn't even using the classic theme (not that he used it very much or very effectively in the first movie). I don't have a problem with that. If he could change the characters' names, I'd be down with that too. But I think taking that theme which is SOOOOO associated with the original might help those JC diehards (like, say, ME!) deal with the fact that their beloved series has moved on to a whole new ball game.

For me the only chink in the armor now is Rob himself. I'm just not crazy about the man's work. It's a bit too stylized and referential. He says in the article that even though he uses folks who are popular within the genre he isn't really doing it on purpose because only genre fans would even notice. Umm, bullshit? That's the thing I dislike about him. He tries to come off so casually oblivious to his obvious pandering.

Anyway, I can't say I was thrilled with the soundtrack discussion either. Have any of the previous Halloween films even had a soundtrack? Egads! Soundtracks are a hit or miss thing with me. Too often the songs are just the latest claptrap put out by bands you won't hear from in a year or they're chockful of "cool" songs from the 60s & 70s that are supposed to tell you what to think/feel (or simply so you'll know what time period the movie is taking place in since you can't tell by the mutton chops and bell bottoms alone sometimes) because the filmmaker can't figure out how to do it her/himself.

Final thoughts:
Woohoo! Betsy Rue naked...again. I can't wait. (sarcasm, BTW)

The Internets didn't make me hate your reimagining, Rob. You made me hate it. (Although I'll agree there are some people who are predisposed to diss on it without seeing it simply because it's not JC's movie. And I'll admit to being one of those people dissing it before it came out back in '07. HOWEVER, seeing is believing and that movie sucked balls when I saw it in the theatre and it STILL was lappin' at them when I rented the director's cut DVD version a few months later.)

Who the fuck mixes up Clint Howard and Billy Bob Thornton?

How to cure a hangover...not really

2009-08-15T17:02:00.006-05:00

Today is D's birthday, but because those Lovesacs aren't gonna sell themselves on a Saturday, they had a bbq at their house for him last night. I brought my usual spinach dip and a 6 pack of Fat Tire arriving at 7:45 and expecting drink half of my beers and leave at about 11. All sorts of fun was had by ME because the Trickers were there with Lila and the Armstrongs were there with Cooper and of course, the Jorgensons themselves have Dominic and Lav. I do love the babies. Also got to see Scott & Jen and Miss Jackie which is always awesome. Anyway, my spinach dip never got eaten, I had all of those 6 beers, and I ended up walking home with the bar-closers.

Needless to say, I woke up feeling a little on the crappy side. That wasn't helped by the fact that I woke up at 6:45. I only managed to get one more hour of sleep before dragging my ass outta bed. It helps that I'm a morning person and I had a kitty to feed. I decided that the best medicine was a trip to the library, a bloody mary/benedict breakfast, and a movie.

Picked up a few true crime books at the library and was confused by a new bartender at Pizza Luce. A cute and earnest fellow, but not as awesome as my usual girl. I took the train to MOA, making it there with 15 minutes to spare before my movie started. Got my popcorn, found a comfy spot in the middle of the theater and crossed my fingers that no one would sit near me.

As luck would have it...well, I don't have any luck. A whole row of stupid talking heifers sat a couple of rows behind. I seriously would like to know why people act like they are in a private goddamn screening.

The movie, A Perfect Getaway, was o-kay. I can't decide if I really liked it. The twist was...o-kay, but I found a lot of the characters unlikeable and hard to route for. It wasn't much of a horror movie and I'm not so sure why it was rated R. The bloodshed is minimal and I don't even recall a lot of swearing. Overall I think I liked it. If asked, I recommend it as a rental.

So now I'm home plucking songs at random out of my head and listening to them through blip.fm. My head and tummy still ache a little bit and I could sure use a nap. For now I'm gonna have some leftover shrimp fried rice and rumaki and contemplate watching Mirrors.

Other things that happened this week: I got my property tax refund. I made a payment arrangement with a couple of my credit card debtors to get those paid off in the next year. I re-fell in love with Old Navy. (I just love them for fall/winter clothes.) I found out there is a yarn store just a hop/skip/jump away from me at work. (It's a Borealis Too.) That last could be trouble.

Top o' the morning

2009-07-16T08:32:00.002-05:00

I left my wallet on the bus this morning. The bus company says it hasn't been turned in and the driver didn't see it around the seat I was in. Only mildly freaked out since I am po' making the ATM cards useless. Luckily I just happened to have a paycheck from my other job (and it was too big to fit in my wallet so it was just at the bottom of my purse). It also doesn't hurt to work at the DMV and be able to quickly apply for a duplicate license. Still, I don't have my Metro Pass (I have to pay cash to get home!) or my library card (I can't renew books online) or my Best Buy Reward Zone card (I had to be close to a discount certificate). I hope some honest soul found it and quickly dropped it in a mailbox and that the post office people don't rifle through and take what little valuable stuff is in there. But I think everyone is a dishonest asshole, so I'm chalking it all up as a loss.

You know what's funny? I actually had forgotten my wallet at my first bus stop, so I had to rush home to get it before the next bus came which I was worried I had missed which would make me miss the connection but it turned out it was a bit early and the connection ended up being late.

Commenter hell

2009-07-07T15:43:00.005-05:00

I'm probably about to get pounced on over at Gawker, but I couldn't help but open my big mouth again. You see, someone when commenting on Paris Jackson speaking at her father's memorial felt the need to talk about her 'straight hair' and their lack of comprehension, like it makes any fucking different. This child is barely holding it together and you're speculating about her parentage? Clearly, class is not in session. I'm sure I'll be accused of being a bitch and not having a sense of humor and I confess I have made jokes in the past about the same topic, but seriously when referencing her speaking at his fargin memorial? Man, that's just shitty.

Now, I agree that the likelihood that Jackson is the biological parent of those children is low. (I mean that one boy [Blanket?] looks straight out of Village of the Damned with that peroxide blond hair). However, I also acknowledge that babies of biracial parents can come out a variety of shades. Heck, kids in general can come out with all sorts of baffling attributes. A couple of friends of mine have a daughter with ocean blue eyes. Mom's are green and dad's are brown. It took another friend three tries to get a kid with the same super-curly hair and brown eyes as hers (all still blond though, heehee). So while I appreciate people's curiousity, this need to put these kids' DNA in a box is disturbing, and unless you have a stake in the estate, ir-fucking-relevant.

Oh, and then their was the person who decided that Paris' speak was 'rehearsed' and came off as 'choreographed'. Um, maybe she did practice what she planned to say at the memorial service for her dad that was being simulcast/livestreamed practically all over the world. The comment "real kids blubber when their upset" just knocked me out. I'm glad my heart is bigger than that.

Later: I got ripped for accusing someone of 'viciously criticizing' a child. I was also told that asking "Who are those kids' biological parents?" is a valid question since it's rumored they were sired by his plastic surgeon. Not sure how that makes it anyone else's business, but okay.

Playing ketchup

2009-06-29T15:56:00.003-05:00

It's almost the end of the day and I don't feel like working anymore, so I figure I'll get all caught up with my blogging. I feel like I've been quite active and busy lately, and yet I can barely remember a lot of what I've done. I know I've been alot of time with my Friends with Babies lately. I got to hang with Heide at the Hostages show a couple of weeks ago which was cool. Last weekend, I went to a barbecue at D's where I got to oogle Baby D who is growing super-fast and already teething. Yikes! It was good to see him because I rarely ever do socially anymore. I had been seeing a lot of him because I was back and forth to the Mall with iPod issues and buying new phones. (Did I tell you I got an iPhone...'cause I did.) Anyway, there were babies, an cute teenagers forcing us to play kickball, and bbq. Yay!

I got to oogle even more babies yesterday as Jim and Sharriah had a bbq to introduce little Cooper to everyone. He is so tiny and adorable all curled up and wrinkly. Aww! Also there were Meghan, Hultman, and Azalea; Matt, Megan, Will, and Jack; and Andy, Nicole, and my new best friend Lila and her kickass pigtails and pink glasses. Babies! Yay!!!!

In other news, um, like, Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett both died on the same day and the world turned upside freakin' down. I'm still stunned by the death of Jacko. Needless to say, I have been a fan since I was a weeeeeee tyke. It was quite the blow to get that news from a tweet while on the bus home. The blow was not healed by some of the assiness that came out of people upon his death. Yeah, yeah. Skin bleaching, chimp-carrying, peodophile freak, right? Not when I was 12 he wasn't and that's the Michael Jackson that I loved and whose death I mourn. Also, he was acquitted which people seem to forget. What's the point of having a legal system wherein people are said to be innocent until proven guilty in a court of law if upon a verdict of not guilty people will continue to assume one's guilt? Then again, I'm still bitter about that shit that went down in Simi Valley, so who am I to judge?

So that's been rough. I think I'm about Michael Jackson-ed out, not that it means anything because all the legal battles and shit that are about to go down are gonna keep this story in the news probably for months to come. I'll just try to ignore it all and listen to Thriller when the mood to remember Michael strikes.

I swear I've done other stuff. A few weeks ago I got it in my head to watch just about all of my John Carpenter movie collection with commentary again. It wasn't intentional. I just felt like listening to the Halloween commentary one day and then I felt like listening to The Fog and then The Thing and then Christine and it just went on. Meanwhile, I've been doing some major slackin' on my Netflix. I've had this one movie, The Cottage for almost 2 weeks and that ain't right. I'm gonna try to watch that tomorrow and get it in the mail on Wednesday so that I can hopefully get a new movie by Friday for our long 4th of July weekend.

For which I have no big plans. I was invited to a bbq at the Trickers which would be lovely because more babies. There is also that convention thing that OtherScott does every year for geeks like me who love horror & sci-fi movies (okay, I'm not as much a fan of the latter unless it's sci-fi horror). Mostly, I hope to get more laundry done and that it won't be so godawful hot.

That's it. You're caught up. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but I can't think straight at this very moment as I feel like a ate a whole Thanksgiving dinner by myself. Sooooo sleepy all of a sudden. Ah, but only 10 minutes left here. Sweet.

Regime Change

2009-06-25T09:01:00.003-05:00

Things have been a wee bit tense over here at the DMV of late. Some time ago there was a shifting of supervisors to go along with our new carpet and (old) new cubes. This change involves a lot of piddly-ass shit that no one really gives a damn about, but the People Upstairs make a big ole stink about it anyway.

For example, someone decided that it isn't right for employees working the front counter to have beverages out front since we tell customers they aren't allowed beverages. You'll forgive me if I find that completely retarded. Some asshat who will be here for 15 minutes versus someone stuck out there TALKING to people for 7 1/2 hours? Not the same.

Then yesterday we get an email informing us that we aren't allowed to be in our cube spaces more than 15 minutes before our scheduled start time. Because heavenforfend a person should be approached and have to answer a work-related question then demand to be paid overtime for that.

But what really burns my hide is that so much attention is being focused on silly shit like who's in their cube too early or who's wearing denim, is that information that actually affects our job and our contact with customers isn't passed on. As many of you probably know, all sorts of shenanigans are going down with Denny Hecker and KARE-11 did a story about it and said "[DMV]" about 30 times during it. Do you think we were warned ahead of time about this news report and that we would be swamped with calls? Heck no!

Last week, the Strib ran a story about a diversion program for drivers with high fines and too many driving afters on their records. I saw it in the paper, but totally forgot about it...until I got a call from a customer inquiring about it yesterday. I kindly forwarded the Strib story to my coworkers since they likely weren't gonna get the information any other way.

I get that they want to improve the image of the DMV, but what they fail to understand is that customer interactions can turn from good to bad based on how much information we provide them and how quickly and accurately we provide it. Someone might not be impressed by my denim skirt, but they're less likely to care if I can get them in and out of here with the information they need with very little hassle.

Meanwhile, things that actually might improve our image just linger. Like our crappy phone system which sends people through a thousand loops and asks them for information that they will have to repeat once they finally get a human on the line. Or documents that fail to explain requirements properly. Or useless statutes designed to scare people even though they aren't enforced.

My mom always told me my mouth would get me in trouble and it has on an occasion, but that's because I'm just not a fan of suck it up and taking it from people, especially when I find something stupid. So my supervisor has heard a lot from me about the bullshit that's been going down. Luckily, she likes me (and largely agrees with my--our--complaints), but I should maybe try to hold my tongue. You never know when budget cuts might warrant laying off a few workers.

Drag Me to Hell

2009-06-03T15:06:00.003-05:00

You know, with all my bitching about the audience at the movie on Saturday, I never really said anything about how I felt about the movie.

In retrospect, I am not so sure I liked it. Time for yet another horror fan confession: I'm not a huge Sam Raimi horror fan. I thought Evil Dead was cool and Evil Dead II is a-ight, and I'm glad to have the Boomstick edition of Army of Darkness, but those movies don't get regular replay for me. I'm more likely to watch all of them with the commentary track on than without and that's mostly to hear the lovely voice of Bruce Campbell. His dramatic stuff (A Simple Plan; The Gift) is more to my liking. I think I've said before I don't like a whole lot of comedy in my horror. I can appreciate a degree of goofiness, but once you hit Looney Tunes levels I'm annoyed. And gross-out gags get really boring really quick.

DMtH has A LOT of Looney Tunes/gross-out horror. There are about 5 or more scenes with stuff going into our heroine's (?) mouth. Plus there are loogies (sp.) and maggots and skanky false teeth and a geyser nosebleed. I did jump once or twice and a particular fight scene was fun to watch, but overall it just kind of really didn't do much for me. Maybe when it comes out on DVD, I will see it again to determine just how much that shitty audience affected my viewing pleasure.

I tell what is good though. NOTLP did an episode on Session 9 a few weeks ago, so I rewatched that last night. Man, that movie is so goddamn creepy. That's my kind of horror. I'd rather have a (fairly) bloodless atmospheric movie than some grossfest with a lame story. And by the way, every thing about Justin Long oozed 'douchebag'. As if those smug Mac vs. PC commercials didn't make me hate him enough, he just bugs me. Plus I recall that he was in Jeepers Creepers and I hated that movie. Also. the Mac product placements were really fucking irritating. Stuff your little Apple up your ass.

So, if I were to rate DMtH right now after seeing it this weekend, I'd give it maybe a two (out of five). However, it might actually be a 3, but my theatre-mates just sucked so much of the fun from the whole experience. And it can't be blamed on it being PG-13 because there were plenty of stupid grown-folks in my screening. (Also PG-13 does not mean 'bring your 6-year-old).

I really need to win the Powerball so I can build a house in the middle of a field with no surrround neighbors and a private theatre in the basement (like you used to see on Cribs). I just really don't like other human beings.

This is what I do when I'm hungover

2009-05-30T22:53:00.005-05:00

To decompress after a semi-hectic day at work yesterday, I spent some quality time with my good friend PBR down to the Local Watering Hole last evening. I ended up closing the bar which I rarely ever do, but I hung with cool peeps so it was worth it.

The weather was quite lovely earlier, so I felt I had to leave the house. I dragged my ass out of bed at about 10:45 and plotted my day's activities. I would go to the library, eat at my regular Sketchy Panda, boogie on over to MOA to drop off my comatose iPod, pop in to say hi to D, then go see the 2:25 screening of Drag Me TO Hell.

I managed to leave my apartment at 12:30 (I get so caught up on the Internets sometimes) and get to the library at about 1:00 and not find most of the books I'd hoped to check out this weekend. I did find a couple of (hopefully) good true crime books. I got my panda on then made my way to MOA which was surprisingly (blessedly) dead. Geek Squad cutie basically told me my iPod situation might be hopeless, but he added the silver lining that if that is the case, I can get a brand-spanking new one. Sadly, the most compatible one to my current 30Gb iPod video would be a 120Gb iPod video. Or I could get an iPod touch or iPhone if I pay a little extra. Sad, right? Yeah, not at all. I'm totes hoping they can't fix it.

Got to see D briefly which was good. He thinks his schedule will be a bit less hectic soon since S will be done with work for the summer in about a week. Maybe I'll be able to drag him out for some pool someday here.

Speaking of "dragging", I totally missed the 2:25 show many moons ago (I didn't even get to the mall until about 3), but thought I might catch the next screening. That wasn't until 5 and I wasn't really feeling like hanging around the mall with no shopping money, so I called Moviefone to check other times. That is when I learned about the 5:30 show (which also happens to be the cheap show) at Block E.

So I headed down to grab the train only to discover that the trains aren't running to and from the mall because of construction or something. I had to shuttle over to the airport and catch the train there which wouldn't have been a biggy except the shuttle (actually an accordian bus) was fucking crowded and I had to sit with some dude's ass in my face. Boo.

I made it to the theatre with about 5 minutes to spare. I should have known things weren't going to be good when a chick with two smallish children walked up and decided that since they had missed their screening of Dance Flick, they should check out DMtH. I soldiered on, got my popcorn and headed in (behind a giggly teen couple). The place wasn't packed but it was fairly well-occupied leaving me few options in the 'no people next to, in front of, or behind me' department. I found a seat in a corner in the second to last row, but the teens sat behind me, so I moved into the center section, but then some other younguns came in a sat in the row in front of me. They were a few seats over, so I decided to stick it out. Just as the previews start (nothing good really), a couple comes and sits right behind me. More people were coming in and filling any other empty spots so I just stayed put. It wouldn't have mattered anyway.

Maybe it's because I go to movies alone that I don't understand why people can't STFU during a film. It's like everyone came to the theatre with a blind friend because it seemed everyone was explaining the scene we had ALL just watched right after. At a horror movie, I expect a few 'oh snap!' moments that will get people talking for a bit, but then you shut up so you can keep up with the next scene. Not this crowd. Jabberjabberjabberjabber. Ugh!

I was so annoyed. I can't just blow off that sort of thing, so it totally dampened my enjoyment of the movie. I might have felt better if I had just stood up and shouted, "All of you, SHUT YOUR GODDAMN TRAPS!" But this is Block E and it's not like people haven't been assaulted there for less, so I just stewed. I will say, it's probably gonna be a long time before I go see anything at Block E again and never again on opening weekend. Their popcorn sucks anyway.

I treated myself to a present at Target, then took a long, windy walk home. Now, I'm toying around with my present and trying to decide if I want to get a plain old new iPod (what the heck am I gonna do with 120Gb (I hadn't really done much with the 30Gb) or upgrade to the fanciness that is the iPod Touch. And well, it is about time for me to get a new celly, so maybe an iPhone isn't totally out of the question. I'm such a consumer.

More Jezebel comment insanity

2009-05-28T12:20:00.003-05:00

Jez does this thing where they post random pictures of people now and then. Used to be they were always celebrity photos, too often they were clearly paparazzi pics snapped of celebs with their children. Anyway, one of the Snap Judgments posted today shows a woman at a protest against Obama for not releasing the new prisoner abuse photos. These photos, it is now claimed, feature images of rape of men, women, and children. Are we so desperate to make our own soldiers look bad that we would demand that photos which (allegedly) depict violent, sexual humiliation of others be made available for anyone to see? If people are really that concerned about these prisoners they will realize that sending out pixellated images of their violation to the world is probably not in their best interest. Just as I didn't think people "needed to see" the image of Rhianna's beaten face to understand what (allegedly) happened between her and Chris Brown, I don't think a photo spread is going to convince everyone that torture really did happen at Abu Ghraib.

But that's not even my beef.

My beef is that a bunch of the photo's commenters are complaining because they say the image used in the photo looks too much like a black Klansman. Even when others point out that the image is actually a silloutte of a prisoner from one of the previously-released photos and that it is kind of a nod to the old iPod ads, some say it is still "bad choice". One person claims that if people (Jezzie readers) "kind of invested in knowing about this stuff" are confused by the image, then it must be bad.

I'm sorry, but IF these people are really that "invested in knowing about this stuff" then they (like me) probably would have immediately recognized the image. It says something to me about the commenters that their first thoughts were "KKK". It says they are looking for reasons to be offended. Let it go, ladies.

More movie talk (less clever blog titles)

2009-05-28T09:55:00.003-05:00

My newest favorite site to reference and go on about, Heartless Doll, did a funny post about the evils of Nancy Grace. She's so much fun to hate on.

You know what I just realized? I toooooootally forgot to mention in my previous post about my Memorial Day weekend that I FINALLY watched Saw. I have owned that movie for at least 2 years now and had never watched. Since I was largely bed-ridden Saturday and the mailperson didn't bring my Netflix until after 2, I decided to watch that one. Surprisingly, I really liked it. Even though I knew a little bit about Jigsaw and even the basic premise, I managed to be surprised in a few spots and occasionally creeped out. Afterwards, I even took the plastic wrap off my copy of Saw II which I bought last year. I'll try to watch that one sometime in the next 6 months, so I can take my copy of Saw III out of the Target bag it's in. (Kidding on that last, although I do own Saw III and am just waiting for Saw IV to drop below $10 to buy it.)

You know what else I never told you about? I bought My Bloody Valentine 3D and watched it last Tuesday. Naturally, the disc isn't in the fancy RealD that was featured in the theater; it's the green/red stuff instead. However, it still looks pretty good. I heaping helping better than my Friday the 13th 3D disc looks. And you know what else, I still love this movie. Yeah, LOVE IT! It's no Let the Right One In, but it's a lot of fun. (BTW, LtROI might be a wee bit overrated in the horror community. Just a bit.)

Blink! Oh, look! It's Tuesday already.

2009-05-26T08:48:00.003-05:00

A long weekend (made slightly longer because I left early on Friday) and what did I accomplish? A whole heaping pile of nothing. The laundry is still dirty, there are still dirty dishes in the sink (although this is a new batch after I washed the previous batch on Saturday), the yarn is still an explody pile in the corner, and I still have phone books from two years ago.

I had planned to go to Ari's graduation party on Saturday, but failed to plan my bus trip properly. I will admit I was a little crabby too for various reasons. I missed the 6 to go downtown which would have made me miss the 3 which only runs every hour. I was hot and moody and getting bitchier by the minute so I just went home and went back to bed and watched movies for the rest of the day.

That's about the only thing I really accomplished this weekend - movie watching. After listening to NOTLP go over "American Psycho", I watched that again this weekend. I must admit to not being nearly as enamored of that movie as many horror fans. It's a good movie. Funny in it's way, but it's not all that brilliant. Plus Christian Bale skeeves me out. Yes, he has hot-ish things about him, but there is something "wrong" with him. I say this without having even heard the rant because I have thought this for many moons. His mouth is weird (I have a thing about mouths and teeth.) It's like he could easily open his lower jaw like the creature in Alien and swallow a person whole. I've said too much.

I also watched a really good movie based on a Jack Ketchum book. After my experience with The Girl Next Door, I wasn't sure those existed. The movie is called Red, and it stars Brian Cox as an old widower who runs a general store in a small town. One day while fishing near the local lake, some punk ass kids come along to rob him and they shoot his dog for no reason. From there, the old man tries to get justice from the police and/or the kids' families. A good flick. Currently streaming on Netflix (which now can be viewed using Firefox...hurray!)

Another good movie watched was a Spanish horror movie called Shiver. It's about high school kid who is allergic to the sun, so he and his mom move to a small town where it's less sunny. Turns out the place has a little problem with a vampire or something in the mist. That's a bad summary, but I can't really tell much about it without spoiling it and it's good, so go stream it.

And there there was Calvaire (The Ordeal), a French-language vehicle about a lounge singer-type dude who breaks down in some small town and is basically kidnapped by a total nut. Once again, the French (although this might be Belgian) prove that they are really fucked in the head. The movie is a disturbing trip. Very bizarre. I still am not sure how I felt about it or even if I totally understood what the hell was going on, but honestly, I was a bit too freaked out to watch again. I would recommend it for those of you who like you flicks on the wacked-out side.

I did manage to leave the house and have some fun this weekend. Yesterday, the gang and I went to Bean's for a bbq. There were HeideBabies (but sadly, no Bree) and steak and edamame hummus which was mucho delicioso. I rocked out on the deviled eggs even more than usual. Things I like: the recipe in the Joy of Cooking (with a few tweaks of my own).

So today it's back to work where I forgot when I got dressed this morning that I was back-up at the front counter so I had to change from my comfy jeans to a wrinkled skirt I had stashed for just such an occasion since jeans are now verboten no matter how skanky the rest of one's attire is. Denim is the mark of a lazy State employee. My legs were not prepared for this.

I'm off all this week at the office because Dana's up north. Hurts my pocket book (next Monday's check will be a whopping $17.50 before taxes), but I can't say I'm too upset about not having to rush home and scarf down a Lean Cuisine in 45 minutes. I just have to figure out what to do with myself. Most of my shows have already had their season finales and I won't get new Netflix until Thursday. I still have Quarantine at home, but I'm not sure I'm in the mood for that yet. I might be moving out of my current horror phase. Time to catch up on all that dramatic fair I missed over the Oscar-grab season. I watched Milk and Doubt last weekend, both very good. The former was really good and my bias is gonna show here, but Sean Penn really did earn his Oscar this time. And not just because he played a gay guy which people seem to think was so BRAVE. God, because that's not fucking condescending. It's like when people said Charlize Theron was BRAVE for playing an ugly chick when she was in Monster or Christian Bale was BRAVE when he lost all that weight for The Machinist. That's not brave. That's just part of the gig (and in Mr. Bale's case just another check mark in the "freak" list). Anyway.

I suppose, I should do some work now that I've been here for an hour and a half. Not that I've been typing this for that long and not that I have done no work for that long either. I did some stuff (mostly cleaning my desk for our move next week), but there is actual, like, work to do now so I'm on it.

Just some stuff to keep those two of you who read this occupied temporarily

2009-05-11T13:07:00.004-05:00

Heehee! I love this Heartless Doll post on some of the more common Law & Order tropes. I am really missing my fancy cable more and more, but I won't give in. It's not really necessary since so many of the original recipe episodes are on DVD and just about all the seasons of SVU & CI are streaming on Netflix.

So my weekend. Yeah, it was good. I went to Miss Jackie's birthday BBQ at D & S's on Saturday. Of course that was happy times because I got to see the baby who is getting really big and is super-cute. It was fun to see D too even though he wasn't there for most of the day because of his work at the LoveSac. He might have sold one just by having it in his house because Peckerwood's wife did not want to get off the big bean bag-gy one in their living room. It's is comfortable.

I spent Mom's Day shopping with Bean per usual. Had to get a new fan as one of mine had died. I know I used to rant about the evils of Wal-Mart, but dang they're cheap ($14.50 for my fan versus Target's $17.99) and they have bubble bath (and YARN!) and the one in St. Anthony isn't skanky like the one in Fridley (where Bean got a scatological surprise in the restroom once).

Shopping takes a lot out of you, so I was happy to get home just in time to watch Victor and Tammy trounce annoying Luke and his mom and that crabby cheerleader and her partner on the Amazing Race. The 2nd part of the Cold Case season finale was really crappy, but an exciting episode of The Unit made up for it. I can't believe I'm into the latter show and not even because of the hot dudes! Maybe this is some lingering effect from my brief time in the Corps (Ooh rah!).

This is some rambly blogging here, but I gots no exciting news. I was just handed a pile of work and my lunch break was over about 10 minutes ago, so I suppose I'll get to that.

What did you say against a woman?

2009-05-07T15:24:00.002-05:00

Okay, earlier today Jezebel posted a story about a guy who murdered a woman on the Wesleyan campus. The headline read(s): Women’s Rights Advocate Murdered at Wesleyan. Now, anyone looking at that might assume that this woman was killed because of her activities in advocating for women’s rights. Turns out, that is simply a descriptor for the victim. No biggy. The post then goes on to discuss how this guy is still (as of this post) on the loose and to print newspaper speculations about why this man killed her as well as reflections from friends of the victim. No problem’s really so far (except that semi-inflammatory headline, but I’ll get to that).

The problems start with a post asked the “Men of the World” not to pick up a gun and kill when a break-up happens. I mentioned that after seeing Dear Zachary (and knowing about other violent acts committed by women the name of love), the commenter might want to broaden that to the “People of the World”. Whoops! What was I thinking? Suddenly I (and another commenter who also pointed out that violence isn’t merely the domain of men) were under attack for belittling domestic violence and violence against women; victim blaming, and hating women. Statistics were thrown at us and sarcastic comments “thanking” us for pointing out that women commit violent acts too.

Okay, here’s my issue. Jezebel commentors were quick to make this an issue about domestic violence. Granted, a NYDN article gave that impression, but even after it was pointed out that this was not the issue, some still insisted on arguing about whether or not it’s appropriate to talk about women’s violent actions when men hurt women. For me, the original comment implied that all men have the potential for this kind of violence and that men are the only ones who do. Someone actually said that bringing up women’s acts of domestic abuse is used by people who “hate women” and that it’s a form of “victim blaming”.

And then I got completely baffled because Jezebel later posted an article about a woman who thought she’d teach her misbehaving daughters a lesson by leaving them on the side of the road for a bit. Depending on which account you believe one of the kids was able to run to the car and hop back in while the other was left there and later found by a stranger who called police; or Mom drove around the block and came back to find the kids gone. She found one, but had to call the cops to help find the other.

The number of commentors saying “This is no big deal” and “Cut this woman some slack” is astounding. I’m avoiding even posting my own feelings because I don’t want to be accused of trolling or flaming or whatever it is people who disagree with Jezebel posters are generally accused of so I'll say it here. Would these same people feel the same if this had been done by the father? When others say, “They could have been hit by a car or taken by a stranger” the response is “Well, they weren’t so whatever”. Others talk about how kids catch buses by themselves and claim the kids are old enough to know not to talk to strangers. I missed the part where the mother dropped the kids off at a bus stop with fare and said “Find your own way home” and again, depending on which account you believe, one kid DID talk to a stranger who luckily was one of the good guys. Others say we are too protective now. I’m not of the “that’ll learn ‘im” school of raising children. Yeah, many lessons are learned after the fact, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to teach a kid why smoking’s bad by making her/him smoke a whole pack and I don’t believe that a kid learns to behave by being dumped in the middle of town.

And no I don’t have kids and haven’t had to raise kids and I know that they can be a real pain in the ass and that parents can barely discipline their child without SOME busybody saying they are doing things wrong. I think my ultimate gripe here is the implication that MOTHERS shouldn’t be criticized for “losing it” a little and “making bad decisions” because “kids are tough”. Women can make shitty parenting decisions just like men can. You get no slack from me just because you were the one to carry around or because it is assumed that you are the primary caregiver. And one crazy broad who kills her ex-boyfriends will get no slack just because 10 crazy dudes killed their ex-girlfriends.

Shows I can't wait to fall in love with and rave about

2009-05-06T10:18:00.003-05:00

Apparently, the folks behind HBO's best show EVER, The Wire, are making a new show set in New Orleans called Treme. How awesome is that? Jezebel wants to know which folks from The Wire would people like to see on the new show. Any excuse to cast Michael K. Williams (Omar) and Idris Elba (Stringer Bell) in something sounds good to me. Frankly, I heart Mr. Elba so much I almost contemplated seeing Obsessed last weekend. Then I picked up those marbles I almost lost and just watched Iron Chef on YouTube some more. Back to Treme. Khandi Alexander will be on the show which is pretty boss in and of itself. So nice to see that she has left that asstastic CSI: Miami. Also, Wendell "The Bunk" Pierce is also on board. Everyone loves The Bunk. It's news like this that makes me want to get super-duper fancy cable again. Frankly, I still miss my fancy cable. But I learned that without the cable box connected I can watch Turner Classic Movies. It's fuzzy as hell, but it doesn't matter. Even watching a grainy Elvis get punched in the throat is still better than yet another episode of That 70s Show. By the way, I am following Ashton Kutcher now on Twitter. Don't ask me why, I just am. He links to some interesting stories like this one about a 13-year-old possibly going to prison for 21 to 45 years for armed robbery...because that'll learn 'im. And that story isn't even out of Florida! Not that Illinois hasn't had its share of justice system shenanigans.

Captain Trips

2009-04-30T13:05:00.003-05:00

It's a sign that I watch too many horror movies that I am admittedly a little freaked out by all this "swine" flu business. On the one hand, I want to take the "we'll be fine" attitude, but on the other, I have to wonder, "what if this is the next Black Plague"? We are so goddamn complacent and arrogant sometimes that the idea that something like this could actually come in and do some very serious damage doesn't even come to most people's minds. My own paranoia isn't being helped much by whatever the fuck is going on with me right now. I think it's some nasty allergies, but it feels like it could be a head-cold. Whatever it is, I want it gone.

Other things freaking me out is that the rains have come and with the rains come the worms. I about had a heart attack when I nearly stepped on one yesterday on my way from work. It probably took me an extra 5 minutes to get home trying to avoid them. And what's the first thing I hear when I wake up this morning? Dave Ryan talking about how the streets and sidewalks are covered with worms. I only saw a few when I left for work (surprisingly no where near dirt), but that's too many. Worms are my kryptonite (sp).

H2 Trailer

2009-04-29T12:41:00.002-05:00

This is gonna shock and amaze people who know how I felt about Rob Zombie's "reimagining" of Halloween, but having watched the teaser trailer, I'm kinda interested in seeing where he's going with this. I'm mostly wondering how so many people whom I'm pretty sure DIED in the original (or at least the version that I saw) are going to return again. I guess we knew Annie didn't die which was just dumb, but was I just dreaming that he crushed Dr. Loomis head? And Laurie shot Michael in the face, right? Remember how in Scream, Sydney shoots the killer again to make sure there would be no surprises? I kinda like the idea of someone actually just killing the damn killer and letting it all go. Granted, Scream decided to traipse out all new killers later to continue the franchise, but I am sick and tired of killers being revived in movies. While I liked the remake of My Bloody Valentine, I'm not at all disappointed that there won't be a sequel. Sure, the remake left us with a big old question about what would happen to the killer now, but so did the original. I said before (maybe only in one of my ICFTB emails and not in this blog), I think part of the nostalgic appeal of the original MBV is that we didn't have a bunch of lame sequels later that turned Harry Warden into yet another Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers.

So it would have been great if Rob had just left his ending as it was. Then again, apparently, the DVD has a totally different ending than the theatrical release. I couldn't make it through the DVD as you may recall because I thought that movie was diarrhea. Anyway, clearly, Rob isn't going completely away from the John Carpenter's film's sequel because a portion of it doesn't take place in a hospital but it appears to involve ten million other things. In fact, for a "teaser" trailer, it sure shows a heck of a lot. Unfortunately, one of the things it shows is a ghostly Sheri Moon Zombie, I assume reprising her role as Michael's mom. I don't want to be one of those people who jumps the gun and claims this is a Mrs. Voorhees rip, but that footage sure reeks of F13 a bit.

I don't know. Maybe I'm softening in my old age. Maybe I'm less angry about this than I was about the first "reimagining" because it's clear this is a sequel to his assy remake and not an attempt to remake the original film's sequel. If I could just go in and pretend this movie isn't using character names like Michael Myers and Laurie Strode and Dr. Loomis, I might be able to muddle through. Then again, if Rob wasn't trying to get people into theatres by co-opting the name Halloween, I would go to see his movie anyway because I tend to think his movies suck.

Polar Bear Express(ion of Anger)

2009-04-13T08:12:00.004-05:00

I have been weening myself of Jezebel lately. While I appreciate a lot of the stories, the comments in some of the posts just drive me batty. I'm all for feminism and equality for everyone, but that includes holding women RESPONSIBLE for their own bad behavior and decisions.

For example, they posted a story about some dumbass women who jumped into the polar bear den at some zoo and got mauled. The thing that bugs me about their post is at the end of it, the writer starts whining about how if society didn't act like polar bears as cute and adorable, this lady might have thought twice about trying to go up and hug this bear. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

While it is true that animals are "marketed" as all cuddles and cuteness, a 32-year-old woman should know at least to be cautious around them. Zoos have cages and fences for a reason. Now maybe this lady has some sort of mental deficiency in which case whomever she was at the zoo with should have their head examined for not paying attention.

This reminds me of that case where the little girl was bitten by a meerkat at the local zoo and because her inattentive, dumbass parents didn't want her to go through the trauma of rabies shots, a whole family of meerkats had to be put down to make sure the child was okay. Yeah, Meerkat Manor probably does make kids think they are the cutest little things and petting them would be cool, but GROWN-UPS should be there making sure the kids realizes that they are actually wild animals and people should be very careful around them.

Jezzies, quit acting like women can't make bad decisions. I hope this woman will recover too, but I also hold her responsible for putting herself in danger. It cuts both ways.

I just had to get that morning rant off my chest.

TV Guide

2009-03-25T12:34:00.002-05:00

I've been slackin', but I haven't had much to write about. Lately, I'm just exploring network television. I've picked out a couple of shows that I plan to make part of my regular viewing. I am still a fan of Medium and now that I only work 2 hours per night 3 nights a week at the office, I get home in time on Mondays to watch it. The show isn't as strong as it was in Seasons 1 & 3 (the best to me so far), but it is still engaging. Plus I can admit to having a crush on Patricia Arquette since she was in Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors. She's quirky (she married Nicholas Cage), but also awesome.

Tuesday are a night off, so I've been watching Reaper. It's okay, but isn't one of my favorites. Next, I flip to CBS for The Mentalist which I follow with Without a Trace. (Aside: CBS really has a thing for actors from Down Under. Simon Baker is The Mentalist, Poppy Montgomery and Anthony Lapaglia are both on Without a Trace, and Anthony's brother Jonathan is now a semi-regular on Cold Case.)

I work Wednesday and will usually half-watch Law & Order when I gt home, but I'm not a huge fan of the show anymore. I don't like the new executive ADA nor do I care for Kevin Anderson's character. I think he took a bit too much from his time on The Shield.

Thursdays are also a work night, but I have had quite a few off of late so I got to watch Supernatural. Another not great show, but both Jensen Ackles (who was in MBV 3-D and Jared Padelecki (the feathery-haired brother in the new F13) are hot. Sometimes I'll watch Eleventh Hour, but I'm not invested in it or anything.

Fridays just suck so I try to sneak in a movie or something on Hulu (watch a couple episodes of the old Perry Mason last week) that night if I'm not out with the Chicks.

Saturdays are a crapshoot, but I try not to even go out before watching 48 Hours (aka 48 Hours Mysteries). I remember when that show was all about Dan Rather screaming about the perils of crack and how the world would be full of crackbabies in a decade. I will also try to sneak in a movie on this night as well.

I was all happy to have football season over and done with pre-empting my Sunday shows and then March Madness came along. Boo. The Amazing Race is the only reality show I will watch now (and I am happy to report this season does not include ANY hateful teams...I mean, NONE...I can't decide who to root for), then I follow that up with Cold Case and I've even watch The Unit the last couple of weeks (it's actually not bad).

Oh, look my lunch 1/2 hour is over. Gotta go.

Let's Get Mentally Challenged In Here!!!

2009-03-20T11:06:00.003-05:00

You know the worst part of Obama's "Special Olympics" comment? Well, besides the fact that it opens the door for a shit-ton of conservative assholes to pout about how they can't use sexist/racist/insensitive terms without being called out on it, but certain people (women, blacks, liberals, Obama) can, even as Obama is indeed being called out on his comment. The thing that is worse is that people are acting like he's the only one who says stupid shit like this. People, we live in a society where only a few years ago, a very popular musical group put out a damn song called, "Let's Get Retarded" and some people thought it was dumb and unnecessary for them to re-edit the song as "Let's Get It Started". Even some of the most politically aware people I know have said they "felt like a retard" after doing something dumb or called someone "retarded" because that person did something stupid. Not saying it makes it right, not saying I'm not guilty of it myself, nor am I saying President Obama shouldn't be called out on it the same way we would have called out Dubya for it. Just saying that I hope all this furor goes to actually eliminating the attitude that makes anyone think it's okay to talk like this.

And while we're at it, can we also work on dismissing the word "gay" as some kind of negative descriptor as well? Am I asking too much, y'all?

I actually didn't even watch the Leno thing. I forgot all about it. Now that I don't have TruTV crime shows to fall asleep to, I've taken to watching the CW's late night airings of Sex & the City. I find these women almost completely insufferable. Carrie is such a self-centered flighty twit, Samantha's sex kitten tries to hard, and Charlotte...well, I actually like Charlotte. I think I still love Kristin Davis for her days on Melrose Place. (Remember, she's the only one that dies when Kimberly blew up the apartment complex.) Miranda is a big-mouth, obnoxious bitch. I'm at season where she dumped Blair Underwood for her babydaddy Steve (yeah, that would happen...NOT) and they've bought a house in Brooklyn. Well, they bought the house in Brooklyn after she whined about giving up her Manhattan lifestyle for 30 years. Also, Samantha survived cancer or "The Big C" which they seem to have to point out every 5 minutes. Meanwhile, she's "cougaring" with some young male model dude. Carrie is dating The Russian which is exactly how she refers to him with her friends. He even comes up as "Russian" on her bejeweled cellphone's caller ID. Do all her boyfriends end up with code names like "Big" and "The Russian"?

All that complaining and I know all that because I have watched it every night this week. Hell, sometimes I stay up and watch the second episode (which oddly is on a different season). I even occasionally flip between the CW episodes and the TBS episodes if they're on at the same time. What can I say? I have to watch something before I can float off to LaLaLand and QVC doesn't always cut it.

I suppose I should, like, work or something.

I'd rather have potholes

2009-03-12T10:56:00.003-05:00

It's crazy what happens when you don't leave the house for two days. I have been ailing the last couple of days, so I stayed away from work. Until this morning, I hadn't left the house since about 10:30ish on Tuesday morning. I was way low on my FakeQuil, so I headed down to Target Downtown to stock up on that and orange juice and soup and other stuff-one-needs-when-she's-sick. Apparently, I completely missed any of the gas stations signs informing me that my precious Marlboro cigarettes are now a whopping $5.10 per pack (at SA). Actually, now that I think about it, there are not gas stations that would advertise that between my house and the downtown Target. But whatever! The point is that practically over-freakin'-night my cigarettes have gone up $.70 per pack. GodDAMN! That's so not cool. Fortunately, I have been cutting back on my nicotine intake. My doctor informed me that that is one of the 'side effects' of Wellbutrin and I gots no problem with that. Except the weight gain. I'm not one of those chicks who is all worried about being pencil-thin, but I am too poor to shop for new clothes, so I'll have to try to at least maintain my current weight if I'm going to actively quit this nasty habit. Which I would love to do and this is the perfect motivation because I'm broke and cheap and not interested in switching brands. So I hereby selecting a quit date of April 19. I will now consciously begin cutting back on my smoking, track my daily cigarette intake, stockpile my cigarette butts, and constantly hound myself about quitting. Hopefully, this time I can be done with the dastardly things for good and riddance.

I spent most of my sick time laid up on my couch watching court shows (of course). Did you know that former lawyer-to-the-Mob Bruce Cutler is now the "judge" on his own show? It's a hot mess called "Celebrity Jury" or "Celebrity Jury Duty" or maybe it's just "Jury Duty" but they have zzz-list celebrities on to judge the cases. The episode I saw featured some chick I've never seen before, one of the guys from Boyz to Men (I think it was the one with the deep voice), and walking plastic surgery nightmare Bruce Jenner. I have no idea what the case was about, and I didn't stick around too long to delve any further into it. I also got to see some woman pass out on The People's Court and listen to Judge Karen use my new favorite phrase "Stay in your lane; I know how to drive" which can't replace my "Mind your knitting" because technically, I really don't know how to drive. I still think it's sassy. Maybe I'll just use the first part.

I did watch other stuff (yay! Universal Monsters!), but now I'm back and work and need to get back to work. More later perhaps.

Did you know there are people who are NOT just like you?

2009-03-05T14:46:00.002-06:00

I spent two and a half hours in a cross-cultural awareness class this morning. Those are always such eye-opening experiences really. People who seem at least fairly smart become total ignoramuses in those sorts of classes. All under the guise of showing how open-minded they are.

For example, the instructor asked volunteers to talk about what the community they grew up in was like. One woman told how she grew up in a small, all-white town and now lives in St. Paul where one of her neighbors is Hmong. Wow! Diversity! But the real kicker was the woman who talked about growing up in White Bear Lake in the 1950s. She said there was this one black family that lived in the neighborhood and the two boys of the family went to her school and rode the same bus as she. She made a point during her story to say how "nice" those boys were 3 times and then related a story about how one time one of the boys offered her his seat on the bus. She just thought that as so NICE of him, especially during the 50s. The fact that she proclaimed their "niceness" like it was some sort of anomaly just amazed me.

Another exercise involved the instructor showing us a video which showed all sorts of cultural breakdowns if the world were to be reduced to just 100 people. So, like, 57 of those people would be Asian, 70 of them would be non-Christian, and 11 of them would be gay. This last was a bone of contention for a couple of my classmates. One gentleman didn't believe that many people would admit. "Why would they?" he exclaimed. When I mentioned that some people are actually open and unafraid and completely proud of their sexuality because there's nothing wrong with being gay, he actually scoff and giggled with the person next to him. Another woman pointed out that being openly gay is not as acceptable to other cultures, so she was suspicious of that 11 number as well. To which I replied, "Any suspicious might be with how LOW that number is since you don't believe others would actually admit to homosexuality." That kind of shut them up, but I earned no cool points from them. Not that I want the kind of cool points handed out by homophobes.

I also stepped onto my little high horse about the phrase "melting pot". I absolutely abhor that phrase. No matter what Schoolhouse Rock proclaims, this nation will NEVER be a melting pot. Anyone who expects everyone in the US to take on one face is just delusional. While we might share some general cultural norms that others associate with being American, there are a number of unique differences between groups of people in this country that those who live here should recognize. Those differences may take some influence from the culture at large, but ultimately, the group dynamic remains. Much like in a stew, carrots don't become onions just because they're cooked in the same broth. The carrots might take on some of the onion's flavor and vice versa, but it's still a carrot. Meanwhile the broth itself takes on flavor from every meat, vegetable, herb, and spice that gets tossed in. And it's delicious because of it! Likewise, America is awesome BECAUSE it's so diverse, not in spite of it as your Rush Limbaughs of the world might like to think.

Anyway, that damn class gave me a pounding headache right above my left eye, at the bridge of my nose, and behind my right eye. I wish I could leave now.

Lost at sea

2009-03-04T11:00:00.000-06:00

Do you know why I find the story of the football players lost at sea so terrifying and sad? Not because of some of the comments made by StarTribune online readers. Firstly, because I saw Open Water. I know a lot of people thought that movie was boring and over-rated, but I disagree. For me it was tense and suspenseful and pretty scary. Secondly, because I have an intense fear of being stranded in the middle of a large body of water. I can't swim, see? I don't dig on being even in a POOL where I can't stand on both feet with my nose above the water. I really just don't like water on my nose. I get a little freaked out when I'm rinsing my face or hair in the shower and a little water gets up my nose.

So yeah, I feel absolutely terrible for these guys and their families.

Also, Michelle Bachmann is an idiot. This is no longer news.

Dashing thru the snow

2009-02-27T12:49:00.004-06:00

I am the first to admit I'm a cold weather baby. I would prefer it be bitter cold than stiflingly hot. I am already not looking forward to Minnesota and its new trend towards 90+ degree Julys. That said, yesterday was some fucked up shit. As pretty as all that fluffy snow was, it really messed up The Kid's evening.

My coworkers started bailing really early because some of them don't have the good sense to live in a real city like Minneapolis (or St. Paul) or even the near-suburbs. These are people who live in places like Savage and St. Peter who drive aaaaaall the way here 5 days a week. Others left slightly closer to closing time. I tried to allow myself some leeway by leaving a mere 5 minutes earlier in the hopes of catching an earlier bus than usual. And I could well have done so....if said bus hadn't gotten stuck at the bus stop. I thought about how much hell the 94 was going to be, plus how crowded the next 94 would be with all the people from the stuck bus trying to clammer on to it (it was an accordian bus that got stuck) and decided I'd try my luck with the 53 which travels down Lake. I waited for about 15 minutes, but that didn't show, so I decided to wait for the next 94. I waited another 15 minutes for that one and it didn't show. When I finally saw the 53 coming I stayed at the 94 bus stop because I THOUGHT the bus headed our way was a 94. It was not. When I saw the next 53 I tried to run for it, but it took off. I waited another 10 minutes at the stop when I saw a 54 which is a limited stop bus from St. Paul to Mall of America. I figured I'd hop the train at MOA and I'd be home free.

Oh my GOD. I probably boarded that bus at about 5:15 and that ride is normally about 30 minutes. We didn't reach MOA until 6:45! We were crawling for what seemed like ages. And then! I JUST missed the train when we got to the mall. But that wasn't really a big deal because the trains were running every 10 minutes. So I decided to go inside and grab something to go since I was starving and very likely not going to want to cook a damn thing when I got home. When I got up to the 3rd level I remembered that I wanted to go to Best Buy and see if I could find an adapter for my keyboard so I could use it with my laptop. See, now that I'm doing the dual screen thing, I have my laptop sitting on top of my printer and it's a little tough to type. I still have my old computer and figured I can just plug that in except is uses and S-thingy and I don't have an S-thingy hook-up-a-bob on my laptop. I wanted a converter so that I could plug it into one of the USB or UBS or whatever it's called spots.

Aaaaaaaanyway, so I go to Best Buy and cute, little BB guy showed me the adapter and it was thirty damn dollars for this little ole thing. And I was like, "Shit, how much is a new freakin' keyboard?" And he showed me a cheap keyboard for just $22. I decided to hold off and think about it, maybe check at Radio Shack or try to get to one of the broke-down Circuit Citys and see if they might have one, even though I'm pretty sure CC has just marked up prices on a lot of stuff then slapped a XX% off sticker on it.

So after that I went to the food court and decided I need a Whopper Jr. with cheese and some onion rings with some Zesty sauce. I figured I had just enough time to catch the next train only to find out that buses were now running every 15 minutes and I had another 11 minutes to wait. Fortunately, I only had to spend 5 of those standing out in the cold with my chow because I could heat my tootsies in the next train leaving. I find a seat and even though I don't really care for eating on the bus because it's kind of gross and rude, I was really hungry and onion rings are not good cold so I started to chow down. What in the devil did BK do to the Zesty sauce? It tasted like really bland hot mustard and I mean really bland. Boo on your new Zesty sauce, BK!

Anyway, luckily it was an uneventful ride home without obnoxious, loud teenagers like the LAST time I rode. Did I tell you about them? Oh man, I generally think most kids of all ages are just so cute, but I wanted to choke these little bastards. They were loud and they were eating food and left a pile of garbage right on the floor in the middle of the train. One gentleman actually had the balls none of the rest of us had to say something to them and one little shit stepped back on the train and threw something at him. Once the door closed on his punk-ass he kept trying to get it to open again and the driver had to tell him to get away from the train over the P.A. These are the kids that make people hate teenagers.

Anyway, I finally made it to Minneapolis at about 8:10 and got a 6 fairly quickly and was home and flopped out on the couch by 8:40 watching QVC try to sell me trashy jewelry. I was so pooped I slept like a log and actually only woke up because I had a scary dream that I was Laurie Strode and I knew Michael Myers was coming after me and I was trying to prepare for the attack. Creepy.

Today, it's pretty mellow at work. One interesting thing is that one of my CoWs informed me that another has been ratting me out to my boss. Not that I've done anything terrible, but on days when I work my 2nd job, I will leave 5 minutes early to catch the bus. She is also the one who will run to my boss and whine about my "attitude" when I don't say hi to her in the morning. I don't like her and she knows it and I quit pretending like I did about 3 months after I started here because she is a ass-kissing, gossipy bitch and I got no truck with people like that. Anyway, I told this other CoW that I already knew (another of my less odious CoW had already informed me since she sits not too far from our boss and has heard her in there talking trash about other people) and that I honestly don't give a shit. I refuse to get into office politics and such. They can get into their little gossip circles and compare cube sizes and complain about who got a new chair all they want to. I'll be just fine with them thinking I'm a stuck-up bitch while I rock out to Judas Priest and ignore their sorry ass. If it ain't work-related, don't fucking bother me. We are not that cool.

Okay, my lunch break is over, but I had to get all that off my chest. My complaints about the snow storm in no way indicate that I am looking forward to summer, but I wouldn't balk at a change to April showers soon.

What to do

2009-02-24T18:30:00.002-06:00

I have about 4 days to decide if I want to sign a new lease on this apartment or not. Actually, I already know that I really don't want to, but I have to really figure out if I can afford to move at the beginning of May. Moving is not a cheap activity and coming up with deposits and application fees and first month's rent is not something I can do right now. But also I don't really want to keep paying nearly $700 a month to live in a place where I want to punch my surrounding neighbors for being noisy assholes. Decisions, decisions.

Getting things done

2009-02-23T10:24:00.003-06:00

Life without cable is only slightly more productive than life with cable was. Actually, the only thing I did that I said I was gonna do was pick up my cable box (for my Music Choice channels) and watch 3/4 of my Friday the 13th box set. I was so confused about what was on Friday and Saturday, I watched QVC and Home Shopping Network. QVC had this lady that looked straight out of the Sopranos trying to hawk stretch denim bell bottom jeans. These came in a variety of COLORS like grass green, crayon yellow, and lipstick red. They were atrocious, all high-waisted and colored denim is WRONG!!! Plus, how are we already back to bell bottoms? I would swear skinny jeans only started last year. Why are we leaving the 80s and going back to the 70s? Shouldn't they be bringing back 90s fashion? (Did I ever mention here that Sabrina and I saw a Zubas kiosk at the Rosedale Mall about a month ago?) Door-knocker earrings, bike shorts (with no bike), Hammer pants, Cross Colors. Come ON!

Anyway, apparently Paula Abdul has a line of jewelry (which she kept pronouncing jewlery which is such a pet peeve of mine; that and pronounce realtor as relator). It was like weekend at Paula's because she came on HSN at like 11 p.m. on Friday and seemed to be there all day Saturday, or at least every time I flipped past.

I watched the first two F13s on Saturday and 4 others (plus Jason Goes to Hell which I had never seen) on Sunday. It's funny watching those movies now. I can be so much more critical than when I was younger. I noticed so many plot holes and continuity errors that just didn't matter when I was 15 or 16. For instance, Pt. 2, 3, and 4 are supposed to be happening on consecutive days, yet characters have all sorts of information and newspaper clippings about Jason. One character allegedly had a run-in with Jason a couple years before, but apparently, she's the only other person. And if he didn't drown, what WAS he doing while his mother was killing folks to avenge his death?

Doesn't matter. Those movies are still alot of fun and seeing them only cements my distaste for the remakening. I thought I had over-glorified the old movies but no, the new one is still an ass sandwich.

Gotta go.

How I spent my first evening w/o fancy cable

2009-02-20T13:06:00.002-06:00

I watched a movie I remembered quite fondly from my youth. "Love At First Bite" used to come on practically every day when I was younger and we would watch it EVERY TIME. I wondered if it would maintain its humor many moons later, so I decided to Netflix it. It was the shortest of the movies I got from Netflix, so I popped it in last night. Man, the things nostalgia can do.

The movie isn't bad. I still laughed out loud at a few of the jokes, but honestly, a number of the things that were hi-larious when I was young are actually really offensive. I want to chalk it up to "the times", but that's b.s. At least I know that I've grown up now.

Once that was over, I played around on the computer for awhile before crawling into bed. It's a bit weird not being able to watch those Forensic Files reruns before I drift off to sleep, but I actually went right off into dreamland.

The real test comes this weekend, but then again, maybe not. Having seen that crappy remakening of F13, I'm all about revisiting the old Jason, so I think I'm gonna hangout on my couch, eating microwave popcorn, and watching my box set.

Whatcha watchin'?

2009-02-19T09:37:00.003-06:00

I just downgraded my cable, y'all. I was gonna ditch it all together and just use that fancy digital converter box thingy, but when I saw that maintaining my current internet service alone was almost the same price as having basic cable + my current internet, I decided to go for the latter combo plus the digital channel offerings suck balls. Maybe I'll use it on the bedroom TV. Fortunately, I was able to negotiate a lower price for my internet for the next 6 months. Maybe by the time that deal runs out, the city-wide internet thing will be working. I see it now and then, but it always says "coming soon".

So, yeah, I'm a little traumatized. I've had cable since forever. I didn't think I could live without it, but then I really analyzed what I have been watching on cable and I really don't think I'll miss much. I can watch "Burn Notice" and "The Closer" either on Hulu or on the network website. "Medium" is on regular telly. When CourtTV became TruTv, they added a ton of crappy reality shows like "Ocean Force" and "Ski Patrol" and they air the same episodes of "Forensic Files" like every other day.

And you know what else? I forget that just behind my laptop is this 19" computer screen. It has been collecting dust for ages because I don't use the computer it's attached to anymore, but I actually know how to hook it up to my laptop. I can actually watch stuff on there if I want a bigger picture. And I kind of think I know what I need in order to hook my laptop up to my TV.

Oh, and you know what else? For just $1.10 a month I can rent a box and have access to pay-per-view stuff and the fancy music channels. Now, I don't care so much about pay-per-view, but I love those cable music channels. I don't think I would ever have heard the blues great "That Baby Ain't Black Enough" if not for those channels. I'll be picking up my box this weekend.

So I have to make some adjustments. I have Netflix and I own a gazillion tapes and DVDs, so I am sure I can entertain myself, but this might be a tough couple weeks until I get used to it. Good thing I'm doing this on the verge of spring. I

Tuesday the 17th

2009-02-18T12:55:00.003-06:00

So I went in for my much-anticipated interview with the Sheriff's Office yesterday and totally screwed it up. I mean, bad. I got all gussied up and kicked ass on the typing test and totally bit it in the interview. I couldn't think straight. I kept repeating myself and saying 'um' and ending my sentences in 'so, yeah' which is bad. At one point I realized just how badly I was doing and mumbled (possibly loud enough for the interviewers to hear), "Oh, god!" I knew my interview skills were rusty, but holy christ. I could barely explain to them what I do at my current job. That was my third interview with Hennepin County and I am almost positive at least two of the three women interviewing me yesterday had been in one of the previous interviews. I think I might just hang up my Hennepin County resume. Perhaps it's time to consider the private sector. There is a posting for a position with the BCA but it's not on the same "pay grade" as me, so I can't apply for it yet. I think it's actually lower than me, but frankly, I would take less money to not be working here. Hindsight is indeed 20/20 and in hindsight, I really wish I had taken more advantage of the time I did work there.

To drown my sorrows, I decided to go to the mall and see My Bloody Valentine again. It wasn't quite as cool as the last time because there was one other couple there (sitting in my spot from last time). Seeing it for the 3rd time did give me a chance to really look at some of the plot flaws of the movie. (It's spoiler time right here...............you were warned.) Like Tom supposedly locking himself in that cage after killing that one guy. Um, exactly where did he have his "Harry Warden clothes" because he was in a regular jumpsuit before. And where did he put the stuff since the flashback shows him taking it off in the case. How about that pickaxe he used to jam the lock on that cage?

There is also the ridiculousness of the girls at the store. First of all, which part of "killer roaming about town" don't you get? Why are you going to investigate some random noise you heard in the store? Your husband is the goddamn sheriff. Get the hell out and call him and his cop buddies to investigate.

Yeah, there a few plot holes in this movie, but I didn't love it any less. The 3D still kicked ass. I still jumped at some spots. I still had more fun watching the credits for this movie than sitting through all of the F13 remakening.

Lunch breaks over. Back to the grind.

BTW, in yarn projects, I'm working on a cute little mousy hat for baby Dominik.

The Jolly Roger

2009-02-16T16:57:00.002-06:00

Look what I did!!!

This is not my movie weekend apparently

2009-02-14T21:01:00.005-06:00

After the non-horror of yesterday's Friday the 13th experience, I thought I'd wash that from my brain by going to see MBV again. The Knit-Out is happening this weekend and since I like yarn and stuff, I thought going to MOA would be a swell idea. Yeah, not so much. There were a billion people out there and the lines for the free swag were stupid-long. Since I got there two hours before hoping to check out some knitting stuff before my movie, I had to kill some time, so I ducked into Barnes & Noble and read the Encyclopedia of How We Die. I headed up to the theater about 10 minutes before the start time. Apparently, everyone decided to see a movie this Saturday afternoon. Even though I figured most of them were probably going to see F13, I wasn't feeling it, so I just came home.

I still had that movie itch, so figured I'd check out my new Friday the 13th Pt. 3 3D. I popped it in, slipped on the glasses, suffering a papercut on my ear from the damn things, and pressed play. Oh, boy. This DVD looks absolutely atrocious. The old red/blue 3D has never looked amazing, but I don't remember everything looking like it was in doubles. That movie is not one of the best in the series, so the only reason I bought it AGAIN was for the 3D. I want my $10 back. The box set version of the film at least has a funny commentary track!

Things got a smidge better later. I watched My Name is Bruce. This is not a good movie, but I'd rather watch it on a constant loop for 24 hours rather than sit through Friday the 13th the redux even one more time. Oh, I'm sure there will be a special uncut DVD edition that comes out, but I think I might even pass on that because it would require at least another 2 hours of footage to make it worthwhile and I'll have none of that. Oh, look at me! Complaining about F13 again.

So back to Bruce. Again, not a great flick, but it is funny and well, it's Bruce Campbell and even with his paunch he's still dreamy. At no point was I bored nor was I ambivalent about any of the characters. Hell, it even had better kills (even it they were kind of all the same) than F13. Can you tell I'm really mad about that movie? Not Zombie's Halloween mad, but still mad.

Well, that was...a waste of money

2009-02-13T23:16:00.002-06:00

I really wanted to like the new Friday the 13th movie. I had been so excited about it, especially after finally seeing a good horror film in My Bloody Valentine 3-D. Alas, I am among those who found the film disappointing. Everything about it seemed really slap-dash. I know most horror films don't flesh out characters very well, but this was ridiculous. These people were just vapid idiots. I imagine the actors were told their roles as such, "You play a rich jerk", "You play a stoner", "You play a black guy in a horror movie". I did jump once and I was surprised that one character I thought would survive didn't, but overall the movie really just kind of sat there. I didn't care about the characters I was supposed to care about and I couldn't even muster up enough dislike to root for anyone to die. Well, except the kid at the campfire who told the "legend of Jason" story. He must have been the "Shelly" of the film, but way less endearing and that's pretty freakin' low. I didn't even like most of the kills. Jason spent a lot of time grappling with people, flinging them around when the old Jason was all about the quick dispatch. It was clear that a few of them were meant to be homages to kills in previous F13s, but half of them were filmed so choppily and/or so darkly that you could barely tell what was going on. And I don't really care about these things, but the boobs we saw were pretty clownish. The group of teenagers behind LAUGHED at the first set shown because they practically had a price tag still hanging from them. They were like Barbie's boobs with pencil erasers attached. And the ENDING! Was DUMB! What the hell? Why would anyone do what happens at the end. Oh, I want to spoil it because I really think this movie is a totally wait for DVD, but I won't because I know people will see it regardless of what I say and I'd rather not wreck the film (any more than Platinum Dunes did) for those folks. At the end of the film, the same set of kids that laughed at the clown-tits loudly echoed my sentiments, "That's it? That blew!"

I also watched "His Name Was Jason" which is a documentary about the F13 series. I don't know what I was expecting, but I had hoped it would be more entertaining than it was. It was actually really boring. I don't think I learned anything about the story of Jason and the films that I didn't already know. Clearly, this is just a long commercial for the new film. The fact that they actually included actors from the new film perpetuates that idea in my mind.

I did finally get my F13 3-D DVD. I hope watching that tomorrow will cleanse the bad new movie from my mind.

Chris Brown & Rihanna

2009-02-10T13:17:00.003-06:00

I don't follow most of this pop culture bullshit intentionally. I really don't care that much, but I haven't been able to avoid the coverage of the alleged incident involving Chris Brown and (maybe?) Rihanna.

Here's the problem I have with it: everyone has leapt to the conclusion that he is indeed guilty of the assault and many people keep proclaiming "you don't hit women". I'm still old-fashioned enough to believe in the whole "innocent until proven guilty" thing. Crazy, I know! Trust me. I do not like the way many will come to the defense of certain entertainers. I am speaking here specifically of members of the Black community who will try to paint individuals like Mike Tyson, Kobe Bryant, R. Kelly, O.J. Simpson, and even Michael Jackson as victims who are being persecuted by the man because they are Black men. That is some ripe BULL SHIT! Even worse is that these people will often come to defense of these individuals at the expense of women and children. To read some of the things people said about the girl in the "R. Kelly" tape was sickening and sad. The fact that people actively sought to reveal the identity of an alleged rape victim in the Bryant case was appalling. I don't even need to tell people what was done to Nicole Simpson Brown. While only one of the five individuals I just named were actually found guilty of the crimes they were accused of, the leap to their defense by many in the public was barely based on any real facts about the cases.

That said, the Chris Brown situation is sort of the opposite, at least from the sites I've read. Granted, one of those sites is Jezebel which is chick-friendly to say the least. The commentors however are practically calling for his head. They demand this be the end of his career and contrast this with the Michael Phelps case. I will not pretend that am okay with domestic violence. My mother went through that shit. I do not, however, by into the "man can't hit woman" thing. While most men are generally physically larger and stronger than most women, that is not always the case. While one would generally lock down on a large man who hits a smaller guy, would one feel that way if the smaller guy picked the fight, if he threw the first punch? Why should there be an exception for women? This "women are delicate creatures who can't be harmed" business serves to further double standards that are in place in other areas of our lives.

But my real beef with all this is the assumption of guilt. We have become a hysterical, Nancy Grace society where the minute a newsperson says someone has done something, then it is deemed true. Individuals are tried and convicted in the public eye based on such flimsy evidence as, "he hired xyz attorney" or "he won't leave his hotel room". I missed the part where hiring a lawyer when you are arrested and charged with a crime was a bad thing. I missed how being hounded by reporters asking you if you beat your girlfriend makes you want to go for a stroll in the park.

I have to get back to work, so this incoherent little rant must stop here. The gist of it is that I really hate people rushing to judgment about things they don't have all the facts on. Oh, but one more thing, the other piece is people acting like Rihanna now HAS to become this spokesperson against domestic violence and that by not doing so, she is furthering the victim-shaming that is implied by not discussing it. Oh, my god because why on earth would she possibly NOT want to talk about something so very personal? Ugh! The things people think celebrities owe them are beyond ridiculous. If she chooses to speak on it (assuming this is all true, that is) bully for her. However, if it is easier for her to deal with this privately then more power to her.

I'm gonna take some deep breaths, calm down, and get back to work.

Nice going once again, Texas

2009-02-10T08:06:00.002-06:00

BOOOOOOOO!

I'm really glad this young man's name was cleared, but a fat lot of good that does him now. I hope his family sues the shit out of the state for wrongful imprisonment. No, Texas isn't the only place where this sort of thing happens, but it has become the shining example of what happens when law enforcement rushes to judgment. I don't necessarily believe that cops and prosecutors want to put people in prison for crimes they did not commit. However, I think especially in the cases of the poor and minorities, authorities are too quick to assign guilt and to attempt to make their evidence fit their case. Too often you hear cops and prosecutors saying they still believe they got the right man after someone has been exonerated. That unwillingness to admit mistakes even in the face of evidence to the contrary does not bode well. And then there are the assholes who decided that even if someone is innocent of one crime, the time he spent in prison wasn't really a waste because he was probably guilty of something. The number of times I saw that mantra during my CJ classes is astounding. Don't you feel great knowing people training to go into law enforcement now don't give two shits about the law?

MBV Compare & Contrast cont....

2009-02-09T13:19:00.002-06:00

I didn't forget about you. I just had to take a little time off to do my taxes, curse my Internet connection, and watch a couple of crappy Final Destination movies. (Boo on you Pt. 2 and 3!)

So on to the remake of MBV (in RealD 3D). Okay, we know that Tom the owner's kid caused the mine accident. We learn through headlines (shown over the opening credits) that Harry Warden survived the incident but remains in a coma. It is later learned that he killed the others with a pickaxe to preserve his own air and the town’s sentiments quickly turn against him.

One year later, Harry, lying comatose, has a flashback to the accident. He wakes up and kills everyone in the hospital and escapes. Meanwhile, the local youths are having a party at the mine…as you do. Axel and his girlfriend, Irene, meet up with Sarah who is awaiting the arrival of Tom. Axel does not like Tom and is among the many in town who blame him for the mine accident. When Tom shows up, Irene tries to get everyone to be all nice-y and take a photo. Axel refuses and acts all put-out while Irene takes a pic of the two of them. He then urges Irene into the mine. Tom can sense that he isn’t wanted and almost begs off, but Sarah convinces him to stay. He sends her into the mine while he heads back to his truck for beer.

Inside, Sarah tries to catch up with Axel and Irene. She comes across a few random people, then a guy jumps out and scares her. As he laughs it up, someone pickaxes him through the eye. That someone is Harry Warden all decked out in his miner’s gear. He chases Sarah who can’t find her way out. Luckily, Axel grabs her and pulls her into a hidey-hole he and his girlfriend have found. As Harry searches for her, some random dude comes in asking if his friend “Jason” (heh heh clever) is trying to play a trick on him. He gets good and killed for his trouble, exposing the others’ hiding place in the process. They run, but Axel trips and has to fight off the killer. As they exit the mine, Tom comes in. They try to get him to run, but he stands in shock as Harry confronts him and knocks him down. Axel is trying to stuff the girls into his truck, but Sarah doesn’t want to leave Tom. After Harry lobs a pickaxe into the windshield, Axel revs up the truck and books it out of there, leaving Tom behind.

Tom manages to get up and run deeper into the mine. Harry catches up to him and the two battle, but Harry gets the better of Tom. Just before he can land his death-blow, the sheriff (whom happens to be played by Tom Atkins) and another cop come in and shoot him up. Despite being hit numerous times, Harry manages to escape. Tom is left all sorts of traumatized.

Ten years later, Axel is now the sheriff of the little town and is married to Sarah who runs the local grocery store. They have a little boy together, but Axel is also having an affair with a local chippy who works at his wife’s store. Tom apparently disappeared from town after the mine incident and hasn’t been heard from since. Recently his father has recently died and he is now back to sell off the mine. No one is exactly thrilled to see him. Even worse, some guy in a miner’s get-up starts going around killing mo-fos and ripping their hearts out.

First up is Irene, whom we find, um, taking care of business with a trucker at the local no-tel. She finds out the trucker has been secretly taping their trysts and demands the tapes. He dumps her and strolls out of there with his camera (still recording oddly). She pulls a gun from her purse and goes out to confront him. He blows her off and is about to get in his truck when he takes a pickaxe to the top of the head. The killer then chases Irene into the motel where she hides under a bed. After he dispatches the no-tel manager, he finds her under the bed and kills her. She is later found with her heart ripped out.

Meanwhile, Tom shows up at the grocery store to see Sarah. She is all moony-eyed, but Tom sees the picture of her and Axel and their son. He takes off. He then heads over to a local tavern where he meets up with an older guy, Ben Foley, who his “helping” him with the sale of the mine. The locals are none to pleased to see him and he gets in a fight with one guy. Tom Atkins, now retried, steps in and demands he leave. Tom rants about people making everything that happened his fault. Tom tells him he won’t save his ass again.

Later, Axel is at home reviewing the trucker’s videotape. Sarah comes in and he confronts her about seeing Tom. She tries to play it down, but he whips out a picture of her and Tom that she’d taken out earlier and oogled all over. He then shows her a shot of Tom outside the window of the no-tel room where Irene was killed.

The next morning, Tom shows up at the grocery store before it opens. He and Sarah go for a stroll to discuss their old relationship and how selling the mine will ruin the town. Sarah calls him out for leaving town without a word. She gets all heartfelt and tells him he’ll destroy the town if he shuts it down and then walks away.

Since this is a fairly new flick and I know some folks like to wait for DVD, I will stop there before I start spoiling stuff.

This movie has little to nothing to do with Valentine’s Day. Like in the original the mine accident happens on Valentine’s Day, but it isn’t as integral to the plot in this film as it was in the original. The killer does leave hearts in Valentine candy boxes, but that’s about all the connection to the holiday we really see. The killer’s motivation is also different in this film, but I won’t go into that because it is spoiler-y. This movie does emulate some of the kills from the original, but this is not a shot-for-shot remake. Also, we get a similar love triangle, but it isn’t played quite the same way. If it had been done by better actors, I would say it was actually more believable than the triangle in the original film.

I know many horror fans have been panning it. Some think the film is no better than recent remakes such as Prom Night and April Fool’s Day which have only the title’s in common with the originals. I have not seen either of those films, so I can’t say. I guess I can kind of understand the disappointment since I am still bitter about Zombie’s Halloween (and I must admit that after listening to the Hollywood Saloon’s fucking BRILLIANT Halloween podcast, I might even consider re-evaluating Zombie’s film, trying my damndest to not think about John Carpenter at all). I didn’t think MBV 3-D did a disservice to the original. Despite a bit of bad acting, I thought the story was good. Some parts were a little clunky (what was with the attempts to make a certain someone a red herring?) and people occasionally did just plain stupid shit (um, apparently some ladies didn’t get the memo about a crazed killer in town…don’t go looking to see if someone is in the store), but overall it was a really fun ride and I had a great time seeing it.

(Aside: I especially enjoyed seeing the film the 2nd time around. I was the only person in the theatre which gave this a much spookier edge. I must admit that I had to look behind me a couple of times when I thought I heard a noise.)

As for the 3-D, well I only have two things to compare it to: the old blue/red action of the 80s (still waiting on my F13:III DVD from Amazon) and a trailer for Coraline that was shown before this movie. Overall, I thought it was pretty good. It was better for me the 2nd time as I was able to sit closer to the screen which limited side-eye distractions. Some of the CGI was damn obvious, but I it still looked good in my book.

Overall, I have to give this movie a rousing thumbs-up, so much so, that I am pretty dang sure I will buy the DVD when it comes out.

MBV: Compare and Contrast the old and the new

2009-02-06T17:46:00.002-06:00

Warning! This will be kinda long, so go to the bathroom before you settle in.

I went to check out MBV 3-D on opening weekend. I thought it was pretty awesome and it felt really good to see a horror movie in the theatre again for the first time in it seems like forever for me. I think the last horror flick I remember seeing in the theatre was The Descent, but my memory ain’t what it used to be so I’m probably wrong about that.

Yesterday, Dana called and said she was sick and that I didn’t have to work that night, so I checked that evening’s TV listings and saw that jackshit was on, so I decided maybe I should see a movie. I had kind of been itching to see MBV again, so I picked the MOA theatre to check it. After a harrowing bus ride in which some fat, pregnant chick tried to sit on my damn arm, I made it just in time for the F13 trailer. I’m stoked for the movie, but I was not happy to see Jason take a little running start at someone. Jason doesn’t fucking run! (Okay, I think he kind of jogs a little bit in Pt. 2 when he’s being chased by the sheriff, but whatever.)

This viewing was actually even better than the first time. I was the ONLY person in the theater and it was one of the screens WAAAAAAY in the back of the whole cineplex and I sat in the last row the first time about 6 rows back from the screen. This made the movie creepier.

As I mentioned before, I also recently acquired the special edition DVD of the original MBV and watched it again. As I previously stated, nostalgia had lifted that movie a lot higher in my mind. Seeing it again, it actually comes off as quite cheesy because of the love triangle business and the acting is atrocious. Still, it is a genuine 80s horror film. There are funny moments, but mostly it’s because of bad fashion. This shit is straight-up horror with a genuinely frightening killer (The Miner) and the ending is pretty sweet.

The premise of the new film is slightly changed from the original. They both start out with a similar angle: a mining accident causes several men to be buried alive for several weeks. When the rescuers finally reach them, they find only one survivor, Harry Warden. Things start to differ right about here. I’ll go over the original first and come back to the newer version later.

It seems that Harry had to cannibalize his fellow miners in order to survive. We learn the accident occurred on Valentine’s Day and the town has a big dance scheduled. Because everyone is trying to rush off to the dance, someone fails to bleed the methane lines (or something) which causes an explosion.

Anyway, Harry is batshit crazy after his experience, so he’s carted off to a mental hospital. The next year around Valentine’s Day again the town plans a big dance. Harry manages to escape from the hospital and kills the two big bosses whom he blames for the accident. He cuts out their hearts and leaves a message that the town must never hold any Valentine celebrations again or he’ll be back.

The town heeds his warning, but 20 years later the town elders decide it is well-time to bring back the dance. The local sheriff and the mayor are hesitant, but are goaded on by Mabel the owner of the town launderette. Meanwhile, the young local mine workers and their girlfriends are pretty excited about the dance. One of those excited couples is T.J. and his girlfriend, Sarah. They all hang out at the local watering hole where some of the older folks talk about the legend of Harry Warden and why they think the dance is a bad idea. The younguns blow them off. (I must pause here to clarify that I call them younguns but they really aren’t all that young. These aren’t your typical teenagers or even college kids. They are 20-somethings Joe Six-Packs trying to earn a living in a small, blue-collar town)

The subplot side dish gets served up in the form of a love triangle that starts when Axel comes back to town after a 10 year absence. It seems Axel used to be Sarah’s beau, but he thought he was too good for a mining job and decided to leave for the West Coast (the Canadian equivalent of Hollywood, I imagine) without a word to anyone, including Sarah. We learn that he failed pretty miserably at whatever he was trying to do “out there” and has now come crawling back to work in the mine like everybody else. Problem is that he thinks that he should get Sarah back as well. T.J. is none too pleased with Axel all up on his girl. IMO, both guys act like dicks in the way they treat Sarah like she’s some special trophy. She doesn’t exactly help mattes by being all Olive Oyl about things for, like, forever. I kept thinking, “Get some backbone, honey, and dump both their possessive sorry asses!”

Anyway, as everyone is planning for the dance someone starts killing folks. He rips out the hearts and leaves them in candy boxes with little notes about how the dance is Bad Idea Jeans. After Mabel bites it, the mayor and the sheriff decide to cancel the dance without telling folks why (they cover up Mabel’s death as a heart attack and claim the cancellation is out of respect). The younguns are bummed and decide to go ahead and have their own party.

Meanwhile, Sarah and Axel go have a talk about their relationship. She scolds him for leaving without telling her, but ultimately decides she still wants to be with him. She doesn’t know how she will tell T.J. Boohoo.

So later, the younguns go to some local spot not far from the mine. It looks like a VFW, or whatever the Canadian equivalent would be. They bust out the Moosehead and turn up the transistor radio for some good times. The sheriff, during all this, is trying to find out if Harry Warden is indeed back and responsible for those bloody valentines. (Yeah, I went there.)

Sarah shows up for the party with T.J., but Axel is also there. Everyone is having a good ole time, until Axel starts pressing Sarah to give T.J. his ticket to Dumpsville. Sarah isn’t too hyped about doing so at the moment, it being Valentine’s Day and them being surrounded by all their friends and everything. Axel and T.J. end up throwing down. The other yokels break it up and T.J. runs off. Axel acts like he’s won, but Sarah tells him off and he leaves too. Now, Sarah’s all pouty.

Elsewhere, a couple of partiers have gone into the locker room of the mine to make out. The guy decides to go back in for some beer leaving his squeeze in this dark, foreboding room all by herself. She hears a noise and goes to investigate (natch). Suddenly the showers come on, then the mining suits hanging from above start dropping down around her, which is actually really fucking creepy, yo! Then the killer in his own mining outfit appears. He chases her into the shower room and kills her.

Inside the party, Sarah’s friend is trying to cheer her up. She gets the bright idea to have her boyfriend take them and a couple of others down into the mine. He’s hesitant, but she professes it will “cheer [Sara] up”. Yes, when I’m torn between two lovers, I love to be driven into dark, dangerous caverns with a bunch of drunks. Sarah doesn’t really want to go, but Friend convinces her “it’ll be fun”. Sara is reluctant, but ultimately agrees to go. Needless to say, she will regret that decision pretty soon.

I will stop here so as not to spoil the movie because it is totally the awesome and highly recommended. Yeah, part of that is nostalgia talking, but even with the dumb triangle and the bad acting it’s still a pretty intense story. And with the added footage (about 9 minutes), it’s sufficiently gory.

Wooooh! That was long. Perhaps I will pause here and gather my thoughts and post the second part of this tomorrow

Okay, what the f**k?

2009-02-02T15:16:00.001-06:00

This is wrong! Rape is wrong too, but a life sentence to a 13-year-old for that crime is also wrong. Doesn't surprise me one iota that this is based in freakin' Florida. That whole state just sucks AND blows. How many violent asshats have committed far worse crimes at older ages and already been released from prison? I just can't fathom what it is about some people that they would advocate throwing children into prison.

On the move again

2009-02-02T10:00:00.002-06:00

So I've decided to move again. This isn't that shocking. I've been living here two years, so I was bound to start hating it soon. I was so happy with the place in the beginning and then it just seemed to get noisier and noisier. And it's dark and the carpet is gross and it's ugly, but mostly it's really expensive, especially for what it is. I am clearly paying for location, if one considers this a good location. I mean, it rocks being close to so many quicky bus stops and an SA and my second job and my Walgreens pharmacy. The neighborhood isn't inherently sketchy, but I need my rent to be reduced by at least $75 possibly $100. It's gonna be tough coming up with security deposits and first months rent plus people to actually help me move. It wouldn't be so bad if I could actually drive the damn truck myself. And I will likely have to move on a Friday, although I would be willing to pay for a couple of extra days so I can do it on Saturday and come back and clean. This isn't a firm decision (I have until the end of this month to give my notice), but I'm pretty sure. I just can't keep paying at this rate.

I'm also more than likely going to get rid of my cable, even though that is gonna be HARD! I bought an antenna at Best Buy on Saturday (and got another one from Rebecca that same evening) and was finally able to hook up the converter box and get channels yesterday. All these years of cable have me spoiled rotten. Regular programming kind of blows, but I can always watch stuff on-line (I might even one day figure out how to hook my laptop up to my TV) or up my Netflix subscription with the money I'll be saving on cable.

In other attempts at money saving, I am probably going to ditch my cellphone service when my contract ends and do the pay-as-you-go thing because at this point barely anyone calls me except bill collectors. I might also get a weak landline so I can ditch cable internet for cheap-ass NetZero. That's still questionable.

I just wrote down all the major furniture in my apartment to try to figure out how big a truck I need. It never seems like a lot of stuff until you're humping it up and down the stairs on a hot day.

Only $19.95

2009-01-30T21:00:00.002-06:00

Everybody, go here now!

Be fruitful and multiply

2009-01-30T09:15:00.002-06:00

First, I saw the headline about the woman having octuplets and was like, I'm gonna ignore this because it is just kind of gross and creepy and I already have cable for this kind of freakshow. Then I say a headline about how this woman already has 6 children and I was like, "Look out, Duggars!" Then I read a bit of that story and some of the Strib comments and thought, "This bitch is crazy and the world is upside-down because I kind of agree with many of the Strib commentors." There is definitely something really creepy and wrong going on within this family. Are they trying to get their own TLC show? I know people will do some crazy things for publicity, but this is beyond the pale. Maybe she's trying to make a political statement about people's obsession with stuff like Jon & Kate and the Duggars or about anti-abortionists attitudes about every child being a blessing. Or maybe she's just on meth and her parents are twisted freaknuts.

This is soooo awesome

2009-01-28T18:08:00.002-06:00

Millionth time the charm?

2009-01-27T20:50:00.003-06:00

I applied for a job with the Hennepin County Sheriff's office last week and I got the "you're selected for interview" email. I'm excited about the prospect, but also kind of nervous. My interviewing skills aren't what they used to be and I'm not in the position I was the last time I interviewed. Part of the hiring process involves and extensive background check, including financial. I am a total broke-ass right now and have started getting lawyer letters. I've been ignoring the problem for far too long. I need to see about some financial counseling before shit gets out of hand.

Anyway, the idea of starting a new job and it not working out is also kind of nerve-wracking. I considered possibly taking a leave of absence at DVS, but I don't know if I have that option. The job is kind of basic office work, but I think it would get me back on track. I still want to finish my degree and find work in the criminal justice field. I don't see myself making any kind of moves at my current position. That's partly my own fault. If I could turn back time and know what I know now, I would take more advantage of the opportunities I had to make connections while working at the BCA.

It also doesn't help that I know I'm competing for the job with all sorts of fresh-faced whippersnappers. But I can't really do anything about that. I'll just have to put my best foot forward and hope for the best.

Weekend at Crotchety's

2009-01-26T14:28:00.003-06:00

Wow! Talk about keeping busy at work. I've done about 200 record requests today and I still have 2 hours before I get to leave here. I actually have finished all the stuff I had left over from Friday PLUS what's come in today. I'm so resourceful and hardworking.

I was not nearly as resourceful or hardworking at home this weekend. I didn't do a lick of laundry. I did clean my bathroom and wash dishes. I also made eggplant gratinsagna yesterday. Otherwise, I did a whole lot of nothing.

I am now obsessed with Hulu because it is awesome. I watched a bunch of episodes of L.A. Dragnet because Desmond Harrington was on that and he's pretty. The show itself is actually pretty good although I must admit getting a bit distracted sometimes by Ed O'Neill trying to be somebody not named Al Bundy. Eva Longoria is on the show too and she isn't even irritating. Damn you, Desperate Housewives!

I also watched several episodes of Gossip Girl, again, because Desmond Harrington was on. I could very easily get hooked on that show if I allowed myself, but I won't because his character is gone and I won't care anymore.

I am currently knitting a pair of armwarmers for Megan by request. I finished one and it looks a wee bit wonkey. I am really not good with thumbs. That may be improved by "blocking" which I've never done. Anyway, I ran into Megan at Unique a few weeks ago, so I don't imagine she expects these to be perfect.

That was the same day I went to brunch with the Family Jorgenson, the Family Tricker, Miss Jackie, et al. At that point, Mrs. Jorgenson had 11 days until BabyBoy Jorgenson was due. I still have not received a text or a phone call so I assume BBJ is taking his sweet time coming out to the world.

What else? Um, I half-watched a couple of Netflix. You know what I realized? I kind of don't like giallo. I watched Suspiria again and I just couldn't get into it. I find myself feeling guilty as a horror fan when I don't like something that others consider like, seminal to the genre, but hey, to each her own, right? So I won't pretend to love Texas Chainsaw Massacre when I personally found the movie a wee bit boring and most of the characters really irritating. I'll even proclaim that I liked the remake better. Some people (brain warped dumbasses) think Rob Zombie's Halloween doesn't blow nards. You know what they say about opinions and a-holes.

I also half-watched Touch of Evil. Meh. I couldn't get over Charlton Heston and his shoe-polish tan playing a Mexican guy. I'm kinda glad we are sort of over that.

I was so bored on Friday that I actually started watching Tornado! which is a Sci-Fi rip-off of Twister starring the fabulous Bruce Campbell. Well the Bruce love only goes so far and my happy pills haven't kicked in yet, so I turned it off about 30 minutes in. But yay! Burn Notice is back on! And yay! The Closer is back tonight! And more yay! Medium is back next Monday! Finally, stuff I want to watch on TV...all of it on nights that I work.

I was SUPPOSED to work Friday, sorta. It was sort of up in the air because I called off on Wednesday because I didn't catch my bus on time. Dana and I were going to discuss it on Thursday, but she was out ill. I had tentatively offered Friday as an option and well, I like having my weekend all to myself in case I actually did want to do something, so I walked down in the FREEZING COLD only to find the basement blocked off because of some fancy event in the Gallery. My bad. I should have called.

Well, I've wasted just over 15 minutes now.

Random movie rant

2009-01-21T15:43:00.002-06:00

I just relistened to ICFTB Ep. 20 and heard Jeff say he actually LIKED Halloween: Resurrection (aka The One with Busta Rhymes) and would like to see the newer Halloween movies continue in that trajectory. Is he crazy? That movie and its premise were atrocious. How they would continue that storyline is beyond me and I don’t even want to think about anyone trying to take on such a task. *shudder*

I won't pretend that all of the other Halloween sequels exactly make sense. Even though I hated the “Laurie is his sister” angle of the second sequel, I could at least relate it to what I had seen in the previous film. Skipping over the unrelated Pt. 3, we come to the Jamie = Laurie’s daughter/Michael’s niece story line of Pts. 4 & 5. I could even buy that (I actually like those movies, unlike those guys) because it continues the “Michael wants to kill his bloodline” sort of thing that had been previously established. Pt. 6 was a crazy jumbled hot mess that not even Paul Rudd could save. It sort of continues the bloodline story which I appreciated, but all the Druid/Samhain nonsense just left me scratching my head. (Note: I have not had a chance to see the Director’s Cut of Pt. 6 which apparently is a lot more coherent than what I saw in the theatre. Perhaps I will track that one down some day and have a chance to see if it gets any better.)

Then, the makers of these films went totally bonkers and decided to drop everything we had seen in Pts. 4 – 6 all together and bring Laurie back and give her a son. I thought this was a bit of a cheat on their part because the makers of these films felt just fine taking my dollars when they put out Pts. 4 – 6 and to turn around now and expect me—the fan—to just pretend I didn’t see those is ridiculous. Still, the movie wasn’t horrible. I would say it’s greatest pitfall is that it was part of that whole WB horror phase and it seemed like nothing was happening for a really long time because no one wanted to kill off any of the pretty, pretty TV people (or LL Cool J, for that matter).

Finally, we get to Resurrection, in which Laurie Strode is whacked within the first 15 minutes. The makers of this film had the opportunity to continue the bloodline thing but they seem to have forgotten that Laurie had a SON in the previous film. Whoops! Instead, Michael has nothing else to do now, so he just goes back to his old house. I must pause here to rant about the likelihood that house would still be standing all ragged and unoccupied in the middle of suburbia. I am not saying that there aren’t abandoned houses in the ‘burbs, but I would guess the neighbors would demand that the property where a mass murderer was born would either be bulldozed (a la Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment building in Milwaukee) or it would get a bit of a facelift and address change before being sold off to new homeowners at a heck of a deal (a la the Amityville Horror house in New York which was sold to the Lutz family at a bargain after the DeFeo family murders). Now some doofuses decide to film some all-too-likely-to-be-real reality show in the house and get killed. Michael is now just a killing machine, like Jason, with no real purpose and that makes this movie THE WORST in the original series for me.

This post was gonna be an email to those guys and it still could be in the future, but I just decided to slap it here for now. I think I've about Halloweened them out in my emails.

In other news, there was nothing (much) on TV last night (okay, there was but I have been Obama'd out about a week ago) and I didn't have any current Netflix movies (I do still have disc 2 of Briscoe County, but I wasn't feelin' it last night), so I decided to watch one of my movies that I bought many moons ago, but hadn't even opened yet. The chosen one was Re-animator. I know I saw that movie way back in the day with Renada and I would rent movies for our sleepovers, but I had some how forgot just how fuckin' awesome that movie it. It was so awesome that I actually watched it again with the commentary on. That was fun because the actors all showed up and had a lot of fun talking about the film.

I just learned today that the F13 re-release will have a commentary track with Steve Miner. That plus the 9 extra seconds of footage aren't just enough to make me reach into my wallet and buy that movie yet again. I don't even know if I'll Netflix it. I am, however, totes going to buy F13 Pt.3 because it's in 3-D and that's awesome! You know what I would do if I owned a movie theatre like, say, St. Anthony Main or The Heights or that little one on Central (which may be the Heights) or the Crown (which has 15 screens many of which are showing crap anyway, so I could totally spare the screen)? Just before the release of the new F13 movie, I would do a special run of the other F13s. Do one movie per night, maybe offer special all-screening passes or discounts for folks who want to see all of them. And I would adverstise it! I remember St. Anthony Main ran the original TCM the week before the new one came out, but I don't think anyone knew. I was one of only two people in the theatre on a Thursday afternoon. Granted, it was a Thursday afternoon, but still....

I'm already thinking, "I don't want to work tonight". I am tired of working so much. Maybe I should ask if I can come in on Saturday. I HAVE to make up the day. I need those $30. I need to pay my debt downdowndown. I have pretty much almost for surely decided to get rid of cable. That scares me, even though I watch the same crap all the time, most of which I could easily watch online. I hope USA and TNT will have the new Burn Notice and The Closer episodes available online. I need to crawl behind my entertainment center and unplug a million things to try out my digital converter box. I think I might need an antennae which I may be able to get from Rebecca. Cable is such a huge waste of money, but I still kind of heart it.

Who needs to pay bills?

2009-01-18T15:40:00.000-06:00

I decided yesterday that I needed to own the new special edition of My Bloody Valentine yesterday. I intended to go to Southdale Best Buy and pick it up (along with new earbuds) then head off for lunch somewhere. Instead I had to hunt around for my keys making me miss my bus which required a rearranging of my plans. I then went to lunch first with plans for Southdale Best Buy later. When I came out of the restaurant, I had missed my bus by about 3 minutes, but there was a bus coming in the opposite direction headed towards Mall of America. I figured, "It's cold and there's a Best Buy there now. What the hell?" So I hopped on that bus. I might not have made that decision had I know that Bring It On: Minnesota Nice was happening out there. Eeek! I quickly found my way to the massive Best Buy and found MBV and my earbuds and since it was only $11, I picked up Evil Dead on DVD (I only had it on VHS prior). I planned to quickly fight my way through the hoards of teenaged cheertaters and get the h-e-double-toothpicks outta there, but I had to stop in the LoveSack and say hello to D since the place is right next door to Best Buy and he was standing right there when I walked past. So I did that and he is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Baby D and so am I. (Side note: I have to remember how I adjust my skully pattern for baby hats.) When I left there, I figured I'd see if Sam Goody might have either of the movies I just bought for cheaper, but Sam Goody is no more. Instead, there was some place called f.y.e which also sells music and movies. I figured what the hell, I'll check it out. I found the horror section and had just spotted the Evil Dead section when some whippersnapper of a clerk showed up to make sure I was finding everything okay. Right then, my eyes locked on Bruce Campbell's face and his chainsawed arm and the word "Boomstick". All I could say was, "Oh, snap!" The kid says, "I guess you are" and walked away. I don't really know if $30 for a used copy is a good deal, but I don't care. I got my Boomstick edition. And I also got the Ultimate Edition of Evil Dead II. So now I have all of the Evil Deads on DVD, even though I'm really not crazy about them all. What a girl will do for the love of Bruce. (She will keep reading his not all that great book, Make Love: The Bruce Campbell Way.)

As to the MBV disc. I watched it and I'm not sure it was worth the double dip. The added footage is kind of weirdly edited into the flick. The movie itself shows its age a bit, and I never realized just how bad some of the acting is. Still, the movie is very effective and still managed to make me yell at my TV and cover my eyes.

I must say I enjoyed going to the movies the other day. Even the late-comer giggly assholes who plopped down just a few seats down the row from me didn't lessen the experience. I wish there were another good horror flick out right now. I'd see The Unborn, but that looks a bit too much like that Omen remake for my tastes. Maybe I'll go see Doubt or Gran Torino.

The things you do for love (of Bruce Campbell)

2009-01-18T10:42:00.001-06:00

Do the Double Dip

2009-01-15T12:51:00.002-06:00

With the release of the remake of My Bloody Valentine in 3-D coming out tomorrow, a new special edition of the original film was put out on Tuesday. This version features an additional 9 minutes of footage cut from the original release. I am trying to decide if I want to spend another $13.99 on a movie I already paid for once before. Is 9 minutes of gore really worth it?

Better question: I own the Friday the 13th box set which was put out a few years ago. Now to coincide with the release of the remake of that film, the first 3 movies are being re-released with additional footage. Now, I will gladly spend another $11.99 to get Pt. 3 in the original 3-D because that's just awesome, but to buy that film yet again (I also have the first 4 on VHS as well as that box set) for a whole 34 seconds of footage (which can be seen on the special features disc of the box set) would be insane, even if times weren't financially tough.

As for MBV 3-D, it will be playing in 3-D at 4 cinemas in the area, including Rosedale, Southdale, and MOA. I have tomorrow off for a doctor's appointment (and well, just because I like 4 days off instead of just 3), so I think I will head over to Southdale after my appointment and check that out. Hopefully, it won't be too crowded at 12:45 on a Friday afternoon. The damn kids should be in school and most other people should be at work.

I'm kind of nervous about this one. The odds that it will hold up to the original film are slim to none really, but I don't expect that. I really only hope that it is better than a lot of the slasher fare that has made it to the big screen in recent years. I don't want another Rob Zombie's Halloween.

I am going to try to keep an open mind and enjoy myself for frig's sake. I am tired of not enjoying movies and stuff. My doctor's appointment tomorrow is for me to potentially get some happy pills because sh*t is bleak right now. I'm just depressed and attempts at positive thinking aren't doing the trick. I don't expect magic, but I'd sure like a little fairy dust.

Hey, I know you!

2009-01-12T10:10:00.004-06:00

I can't believe the weekend is over all ready. You know, on the one hand, I like working on weekends because I feel like my week is less hectic and I get to be by myself in the office (Dana wasn't there this Saturday). On the other hand, sometimes I just want to get the work over with and have my weekend all to myself to eat at sketchy pandas, buy yarn I don't need, and shop with Bean.

I did my panda thing on Saturday before heading into the office. I really need to find some new spots. I do like the one in SLP, but it's not nearly as convenient as the Richfield one. I spent a couple hours in the office then just went home and chilled for a while. I watched a bunch a shows about how the world will end on History Channel and a few crime shows before heading to bed way too early for a Saturday night. But I'm no kid anymore so going to bed early on Saturday doesn't really bother me.

I had made plans to shop with Bean on Sunday after she came from her family gathering. Then D actually texted me to meet them for brunch. Lo and behold he cut his damn hair finally. And I got to see the lovely Selena in all her pregnant glory. Just 11 days (give or take) before the little guy arrives. Also present was the gorgeous Lavender, Miss Jackie, her friend Ted, Andy, Nicole, and baby Lila (whom I got to hold and she didn't cry and she smelled like sweet little baby and I could have just eaten her up), and Matty. I was quite happy to see all those guys since I just don't get to see anyone anymore. They shut out the single girl.

Later, Bean and I went on our shopping trip and I ran into Megan and Hultman and their cute little baby girl Azalea. Oddly, Bean also ran into a couple of people she hadn't seen in a while.

So this was the weekend of seeing people you haven't seen in a while. I like weekends like this one. I even got some laundry done. Although my spaghetti carbonara didn't turn out all that great. First time recipe, had potential, I'll make it again.

Creepy, yet kinda cool

2009-01-09T10:32:00.003-06:00

Found this link through Final Girl's awesome blogspot. Some of them are pretty rad; others, not so much.

I have to work this weekend for a couple of hours and I'm not terribly excited. I actually don't really have to work, but I'm probably going to because with the holidays I missed two nights of work (unpaid holidays = boooo!) and I was overpaid for an hour on my last check which is going to be taken from my next check. I am still thinking about it though. Worse still is that it wouldn't be my usual alone-time on Saturday. One of the few things I like about giving up a few hours on a Saturday afternoon is that I am there all by myself. This weekend, Dana will be there and she's a fine person, but I just like the solitude. It's just how I role.

I've been thinking about that a lot in relation to work lately. I so wish I could find that perfect all-by-myself job. The less human interaction the better. I kinda got bitched out about my "attitude" once again yesterday. My boss approached me about messing up one thing, and then as we were about to leave, she started in with "I've gotten a lot of complaints about your attitude over the last 6 months". I said, "Then why am I just now hearing about this?" She said because I do good work and they mostly came from another unit who whine if you don't smile at them in the elevator which I don't do. I call bullshit. I barely have contact with those people or anyone else outside of our unit. I think she's mad because I don't get into all the little gossip huddles and snarkfests, I stand around for 30 minutes listening to stories about other people's kids and husbands, and I don't share stories of that sort. She seemed annoyed that she cracked some joke at my expense and I rolled my eyes at her. If thinking you're funny is part of the job, you should have written that into the contract.

Anyway, I have to keep my cool because the economy blows and I wouldn't be surprised if our little department starts cutting staff soon. Not that it would really matter. If they let me go, there would be nothing much I could do about it.

I am considering moving again. My rent is too high and I feeling antsy. I am even considering maybe Nordeast, although I'm leaning more towards Stevens or Loring Park again. Rents aren't cheap anywhere though and putting together application fees and security deposits plus rent might be tough. Nevermind the fact that my pool of strong boy moving help seems to have dissipated. I could probably drag Damian in and Heide might volunteer Eddie for me and maybe Rebecca's fella. If I junk some of my stuff, it might not be that bad. It doesn't even seem like I have a lot when I just glance around at my place. Then again, I have a mountain of clothes on my floor plus an overstuffed closet. I won't even talk about the yarn and DVDs and books.

I gotta get back to work. More random blogging later perhaps.

My Bloody Valentine 3-D

2009-01-06T17:16:00.001-06:00

I just checked out MBV 3-D at the Southdale cinema. $7.00!!! OUCH! Luckily, it was worth it. The movie isn't fabulous, but it is a lot of fun. Lots of gore and good kills. Some of the acting was pretty awful. I think Jamie King was cast because of her resemblance to Lindsay Lohan. I do have a tough time suspending my disbelief some times. I have a hard time trucking with people doing dumb stuff in horror movies now. Scream! Holler! Get Out of There! But that's all Scream's fault. Still, I jumped a couple of times and the 3-D effects were pretty affective. Plus the new glasses didn't give me a headache lack the old red/blue ones did.

Funny story: While waiting in line for tickets, two couples in front of me got into a conversation about what they were going to see. Couple 1 was planning to see that dumb-ass mall cop movie. Couple 2 said they were going to see MBV in 3-D. The male half of Couple 1 looked at his partner and said, all excitedly, "That's right! It's in 3-D!" They looked at each other for a couple seconds and the guy says in this 'come on, now' sort of way, "Mall Cop?" They then bought tickets for MBV. It was cute.

Happy New Year

2009-01-02T17:53:00.000-06:00

I got all sorts of wasted with the Ladies at Betsy's on NYE (Crystalino is the shiznit), so I kept it pretty low-key yesterday. I managed to stay in bed until just after 10 am which is pretty impressive for me. I decided that I need to leave the house to purchase my ½ price calendar and to get some foodstuffs. I bussed all the way out to Richfield and had my chow, then bussed downtown only to find the B&N was closed. Dude, what up with that? No calendar for me, so I browsed around Target (nothing worth buying) then just went home.

There were a bunch of crappy marathons on television (well, except the Twilight Zone marathon), so I decided to see what I could Instant-Watch on Netflix. This winter's crush object Bruce Campbell has several flicks available to watch. After checking out the trailer for The Man with the Screaming Brain, I thought my hangover would be better served by a little cop drama horror, so I went with one of his earlier efforts, Maniac Cop. (Warning: Here there be spoilers!)

I thought I had seen this movie a million years ago, but I don't think so. Even if I wouldn't have remembered that Bruce was in it, I totes would have remembered that Tom Atkins was in it. I'm pretty sure I saw Maniac Cop 2 because that has Leo Rossi in it which I remembered, but I remember him being the Maniac Cop which he's not but my old brain can't process stuff very well anymore.

Anyway, the plot of Maniac Cop is sorta simple. In 80s-era New York (remember David Dinkins? I don't know if he was mayor at the time this movie was made. I just wonder if anyone remembers him.), a cop is killing innocent people. Tom Atkins is trying to track him down. Bruce Campbell gets accused of being the killer cop. Tom and a lady cop have to clear Bruce's name. Awesomeness ensues. Okay, it's a little more complicated than that, but if I weren't terribly bored that would be a fine summation.

A meatier telling goes a little like this. After a couple of innocents get killed and witnesses report a cop as the perpetrator, the commissioner (SHAFT, bitches!!!) doesn't want to believe it. Tom Atkins does though and as the detective on the case he's gonna prove it. Meanwhile, Bruce is a cop on the force whose wife suspects him of being Maniac Cop, mostly because their marriage is failing. One night when he claims he has to work OT (and after she receives a suspicious phone call), she follows him to a no-tell motel and busts him with his squeeze. When she leaves, she becomes Maniac Cop's next victim. He leaves her body in the no-tel which leads the cops to Bruce. He denies it, but won't give up his squeeze as an alibi.

Eventually, Tom gets Bruce to cop to the affair and give up the chippy's name so Tom goes to get her. Chippy is a fellow cop. That night as she's working Vice Maniac Cop tries to kill her. She shoots him multiple times, but it doesn't hurt him, but Tom hears the shots and comes to the rescue. Maniac Cop just disappears.

Instead of heading off to headquarters to file an official report that a big ass cop just tried to choke a bitch while Bruce was totally in the pokey, Tom and Chippy go to a bar to discuss Chippy's affair with Bruce. He wants to know who else knows about her and Bruce. Chippy gives info about a handicapable former cop lady who works down in Records. Tom orders her to hide out at his place while he does some further investigation. He goes to see Records Lady who acts all suspicious.

At the end of her shift, Tom follows Records Lady to a scrap yard. Tom spies on her as she tries to convince MC to stop killing innocent people and go after the big kahunas (like SHAFT) who sent him to prison in the first place. Tom accidentally knocks something over and Records Lady shoots at him. Maniac Cop disappears.

Tom does more research and finds out about a hero cop who ended up being sent to prison for killing a perp. He in turn was murdered in prison. Seems Maniac Cop was engaged to a fellow officer at the time. His fiancée was so distraught after his conviction and murder that she threw herself off a building. She lived but ended up crippling herself. Tom does the math.

Tom and Chippy go to update Bruce on the goings on. Tom leaves Chippy to "question Bruce further" (read: make googly eyes at each other) and heads to snoop around the Records Lady's office. She's not around, so Tom pokes through her purse and finds a glove that she had taken from MC. Records Lady sneaks up behind him and shows him how rude it is to go through a lady's purse by whacking him with her cane. Maniac Cop then shows up and begins tossing Tom all over the place. Chippy and Bruce hear the commotion and buzz to be let out of their little interview room, but no one answers. When Chippy tries the door she finds it unlocked and a shit-ton of dead cops all around it. Bruce sends her to Tom's car while he goes to see if Tom's alright. He has to book it out of there when other cops show up and immediately think he's the culprit. He leaves the building just in time to see Tom's body come flying from the building and land on a car next to them. At this point, I'm like "Dude, they killed Tom Atkins! You bastards!!!"

Tom had arranged to meet with the prison's medical examiner to find out more about Maniac Cop. Bruce and Chippy decide to take that meeting. They get the whole story of how this guy was a hero who cleaned up the streets, so no one really called him on his brutal methods. That is until he killed a perp or two. He was tried and convicted and sent to prison. He refused protective custody and one day, in the shower the Mullet Boys attacked him and cut him up real good. Doc claims he was dead, but Chippy and Bruce squeeze out of him that he found a faint pulse and revived MC. The kahunas figured it be a real media shithole to send him back, so they let him out.

Bruce and Chippy head back to the city. Chippy goes to confront commissioner while Bruce skulks around across the street from 1PP. Oh, and did I mention it's St. Patrick's Day so apparently ¾ of the force is marching in the big parade. Anyway, Chippy fails at convincing the commissioner that MC is the killer. He plays a message the Tom left him about the killer being a rogue cop who was being helped by a female accomplice, then orders her placed under arrest. A pudgy cop (whom I totally recognized, but can't place) comes in and cuffs her as the commissioner and the captain (whom I haven't mentioned before this, but he's kind of important) head off for some parade fun. Unfortunately, Maniac Cop cuts their fun short (pun intended) when he kills them both.

Pudgy Cop decides to try to get Chippy to confess to him. She refuses and he finally cuffs one of her wrists to his and they head for the tombs. PC is all bitchin' at her for fucking with his ambitions when MC guts him. Chippy freaks out and drags PC towards the elevators, but that exit is blocked by SHAFT's and the captain's bodies so she drags him into some office where she unlocks herself and flings a chair through a window to escape Maniac Cop coming after her. She climbs out on a ledge to escape him which Bruce notices. Unfortunately, a gaggle of cops across the street notice Bruce at that same moment and quickly move in to arrest him. They toss him in the back of a paddy wagon and start congratulating themselves on catching him. Maniac Cop then comes up and tosses the driver out and takes off. A young cop pulls up and Chippy runs up and hops in his car because that is the only cop around all of a sudden.

What will become of Bruce? Will Chippy and the rookie catch up and save the day? When are going to re-animate the corpse of Tom Atkins so he can come back in a kick ass to end this movie? I won't tell. I think this movie is pretty awesome and even though most people who read my little bloggy her aren't likely to ever even think of renting something like this movie, I recommend this movie to my horror buddies who would indeed check out just this sort of movie. It is 80s horror at its Velveeta-y best.

Anyway, after checking out Maniac Cop, I spent the rest of the afternoon watching Burn Notice. I was kind of p.o'ed because I still had two more episodes from season 1 to watch, but as with Dexter, those had been removed. Luckily, TWoP had a quicky recap of that season. So I am watching Season 2 on Hulu now. I dig it. Fiona sucks, but Jeffrey Donovan is sufficiently hot and Bruce is sufficiently Bruce and the show is interesting. I almost went to the movies, but the only things I really want to see right now are playing at theatres I hate (Milk, Doubt) or only playing at 11 pm at a theatre that is not conveniently located (Let the Right One In). I'll hold on to my movie pennies for My Blood Valentine 3-D.

The Rich Man's Wife

2008-12-30T14:05:00.002-06:00

Oh how you frustrate me, Netflix star rating system! You make it so unnecessarily difficult for me to quickly give my opinion on a film.

This rant comes to you courtesy of The Rich Man's Wife. Some of you may have heard of or even seen this Halle Berry vehicle from 1996. Ms. Berry stars as a former runaway who is now married to some rich old white dude. They met when she was 17 and he proposed to her on the first date (he would have been 34 at the time). The tinkly piano claims I'm supposed to think that's romantic, but it really just skeeves me out. Both of them are cheating on each other, at least that's what we're told except Halle's the only one we actually see cheating. Hubby is a Very Busy Man who has Important Work to Do, so he's never there for his ridiculously hot young wife, but really, they still love each other.

Halle wants to make it work, so she tells her lover who is also her husband's business partner (played by a bug-eyed Clive Owen looking oddly like Colin Clive) that it's over and makes her husband take her to an isolated (is there another kind?) cabin in the woods. Did I mention that her husband is played by that guy who played Thelma's husband in Thelma & Louise? Did I also mention that he and Halle Berry have no chemistry?

They have a handful of romantical moments, but hubby's phone keeps ringing and his mind is on work. One morning Halle finds a gun in a kitchen drawer. She plays around with it, then puts it back. Later that day, hubby decides he has to go back to town or wherever, but Halle wants to stay.

That night she goes to the town's seedy 'tavern' and has a drink. She is eyeballed by some creepy looking dude (played by Peter Greene who is pictured next to "creepy looking dude" in the Urban Dictionary). She gets nervous or something and high-tails it out of there. On her way back, her Jeep stalls out in the middle of nowhere. Lucky for her, Peter Greene and his crazy eyes come along to give her a ride. He tries to get a ride of his own, but she disses him. Still he offers to come back the next day and fix her Jeep for her which he does and he manages to finagle a dinner date out of it even though Halle keeps telling him she's married.

For their date, he takes her to that seedy tavern again, the cheap bastard. We see them dancing and it is bad. The smoky room and slow mo along with the horrible music make this scene reminiscent of a Michael Bolton video. Peter Greene tries to smooth up on Halle, but she remembers that she's married and decides to leave, but he convinces her to stay. They sit down and he asks to hear all about her. She resists at first, but ends up telling him all about her runaway history, hooking up with her sugar daddy, her pre-nup that leaves her penniless in case of divorce, and her current misery. Despite the fact that the worse we've seen hubby do is go to work in the middle of their vacation, she confesses to the dude she just met, that she sometimes wants hubby dead. Peter Greene being Peter Greene then offers to do it, just as the nosy waitress makes an appearance. Halle balks claiming she luuuuurves her husband and was just venting, but nosy waitress is giving her the hairy eyeball, so Halle gets up to leave. Peter Greene offers her a ride home and nosy waitress ignores all her other customers to stay in their business.

On the ride back to the cabin, Peter Greene again tries to put the moves on Halle. When she tells him to keep his paws to himself, he decides to woo her by scaring the living shit out of her. He turns off the lights on his truck and starts speed-demoning through the woods. Halle doesn’t help matters by constantly trying to grab the steering wheel and beating on his arm. Smart money is on putting on the seatbelt and praying.

He skids into the driveway of the cabin and Halle leaps out of the truck and tries to run to the door, but Peter Greene stops her and tosses her onto a conveniently located pic-a-nic table. She fights him off, runs into the cabin, and finds that tiny little gun from earlier. When Peter Greene doesn’t back down, she wings him on the cheek (shooting out a window in the process). He threatens revenge, but takes off.

Now we’re back at their manse in the city. Hubby is home and trying to coo sweet nothings to his wife, but she is being coolly distant. Finally, they sit and talk and promise to be kinder too each other. And now it’s hubby’s 41st birthday celebration. If anything important happened during this scene (besides it being established that he’s 17 years her senior), I missed it. They have another touching scene after everyone has left. Some other day later, hubby is on his way home and we see a familiar truck start to follow him. Hubby stops at an ATM and it starts to rain. A black jogger runs behind him to get out of the rain. Hubby quickly finishes his transaction and runs back to his car. He calls Halle to tell her to dress sexy because they’re going out to dinner that night. As soon as he hangs up Peter Greene comes up from his backseat and starts choking him. He forces him to drive to a nearby park where after a bit of back-and-forth and a fight, Peter shoots him to death with that gun we saw Halle pull on Peter Greene at the cabin.

Halle is at home in the bedroom (the only room they seem to use in this big giant house) waiting in her sexy dress. She hears a noise and goes to investigate, but finds nothing. She goes back to the bedroom and is accosted by a dripping wet Peter Greene. He steals one of her hubby’s shirts while telling her all about how he just murdered him and left him poetically draped over a merry-go-round. Halle threatens to call the police, but decides against it once Peter Greene tells her he’ll convince them she hired him to do it and he knows a certain nosy waitress who might be able to back up his story. He orders her to pay him $30K within 3 days or he’ll go to the cops? I don’t know. Outside of killing her and still not getting paid, he’s really got nothing to hold over her unless he wants to go to prison himself. The cops are now ringing Halle’s door. Peter Greene tells her to stop her bawling and get out there and play the grieving wife and they’ll work on their arrangement later.

Halle is now at the cop shop. Two detectives take her in for questioning. Last time she talked to hubby, did he have any enemies, know anyone who’d benefit from his death…no, no, no. She’s let go. The two detectives discuss whether she might have done it. Black Cop inexplicably wonders if White Cop only thinks that because she’s a black chick married to a white guy. White Cop and I explain that, duh, the spouse is ALWAYS the first suspect in a murder. Another cop brings in some info and hands it to White Cop. He tells Black Cop that they have a new suspect, a “yo” who was seen behind hubby at the ATM. Black Cop apparently knows that “yo” means black man, so he rolls his eyes. I might have heard that on NYPD Blue once, but have no idea what it means.

Clive the Lover comes over to Halle’s. He has to fight his way through reporters to get through the gate which appears to be guarded from the inside by two police officers. He finds Halle moping on the dock. She tells him he shouldn’t be there and in the same breath blabs to him about the whole Peter Greene-killed-hubby thing. She then tells him they shouldn’t be seen together which is kind of stupid consider that he just walked through a dozen reporters and a couple of cops to get to her. Clive leaves.

Meanwhile, the ex Mrs. Clive shows up to implicate her Clive in hubby’s murder. She has found saucy pictures of Halle in her ex’s glove box. She tells the cops that Clive is broke and wants hubby’s money and his wife. The cops are intrigued and in trouble because remember that “yo”? Turns out he’s some prominent member of society and a friend of the mayor’s. D’oh! (Although I take a bit of offense at the notion that it’s perfectly okay to accuse your average Joe black man of being a murderer.)

Halle goes to see an attorney or somebody and he informs her that all the dough is frozen. Because hubby didn’t have a will and she signed that crazy pre-nup the estate has to go through probate which means she is basically broke. She pouts. Meanwhile, Clive heads into his place and heads for the phone. Peter Greene scares me and Clive by asking him who he’s gonna call. Clive is only mildly surprised to see Peter Greene because hey, guess what? They’re in this whole thing together. Clive apparently hired Peter Greene because he wants to marry Halle and get all her husbands money, maybe not in that order though. Peter Greene threatens to cut Clive out of the deal or rat him out to Halle or the cops or something menacing. It doesn’t matter because the point of this scene is simply to establish that these two are in cahoots.

Now the police are surveilling hubby’s funeral. They watch the ex Mrs. Clive saunter up to Clive. Mrs. Clive basically tells her ex that she gave his dirty pictures to the cops and that he’s going down and that’s exactly what he gets for not paying her alimony. She leaves and Clive heads over to pay his respects, but stalls when he spots Peter Greene nonchalantly having a heater and observing the services. The cops notice Clives balk and train their binoculars on Peter Greene wondering who this new player is. Clive decides to check for those nekkid pics which aren’t there. He decides to bail and forget throwing dirt on the coffin. Peter Greene though, decides this is a great time to have a conversation with Halle. He’s all grabbing her and making a bit of a scene, although we only see it from the cops’ POV. Naturally, they are really interested in finding out who this guy is.

The cops do a little research and find out who Peter Greene is and his criminal history. They’re starting to think he might maybe have been the killer of hubby and Halle might maybe have put him up to it.

Peter Greene contacts Halle again. She tells him she can’t get the money, but he makes more threatening noises, so she gives him the “fine I’ll get your dough let’s meet”. Being all broke and terrified, Halle goes to pawn some of her jewelry and goes to her meet with Pete packing a little heat. She goes into one of those watery dark tunnels that you only see in movies where he’s standing in the middle having a smoke. She gets too close to him and pokes the gun in his face and makes threats. He disarms her, grabs the money, and is about to assault her when some random folks head down the tunnel. Halle screams for help, but Peter Greene shoots at the guys and they flee. She manages to fight him off and run out of there. She ends up on some kind of interstate highway nearly getting run over. Life would have been so much simpler had she just jumped in her damn car.

If memory serves me, she runs straight to Clive. She now wants to go to the police, but Clive is reluctant. Halle is determined because she is afraid Peter Greene is going to kill her. Clive assures her that Peter Greene would not hurt her and he uses his name in the process. Halle catches her snap and runs out of there. She heads back to her house (instead of to the police) and naturally is accosted by Peter Greene. The two battle all over the place in the dark, but she manages to escape and hide. Clive shows up and gets shot but good by Peter Greene. Instead of staying put in her good hiding spot, Halle makes her way to the kitchen, loudly rumbles through drawers trying to find keys, and heads to the garage to a vehicle. She has to go back inside once because she has the wrong keys. She grabs the right ones, but Peter Greene spots her through the skylight and comes crashing through. They fight and we hear sirens approaching. She manages to wrestle the gun away and shoot Peter Greene just as the cops raise the garage door. I watched this a few days ago, so I don’t really remember how the cops were alerted (they might have been on their way to arrest her or somebody might have called…I’m guessing the latter since about a dozen cop cars respond to the scene). Halle gets arrested.

Now I will warn you that there is a “twist” coming soon that I am going to reveal. Halle is being questioned (I should have mentioned that we actually started out at this part and the movie is really all one big flashback even though Halle is telling the cops stuff that she couldn’t possibly know because she wasn’t there, for example the little scene at the funeral). She is telling the cops the whole story, but they don’t believe her. Unfortunately, they don’t have enough evidence to hold her because both Clive and Peter Greene are dead…or something.

The cops decide to check with the ex Mrs. Clive to see if she might know more. She claims she doesn’t know Halle that well, but that Halle isn’t the plan-a-murder type nor is she clever enough to pull it off. The ex Mrs. Clive tells them the whole plot was likely Clive’s idea to win Halle and her hubby’s money and he was killed when he tried to screw over Peter Greene and Halle actually had to kill Peter Greene in self-defense. And that’s kind of what the movie has told us pretty much. For some reason, the cops buy it, even though all evidence points to Halle being behind the whole thing and most juries would hear her story and see the three dead men in her life and lock her ass up. Anyway, they release her. She steps out of the station looking all lost and confused and like she has no idea where to go. She heads to the parked car and hops in. The camera pans over and obviously it’s the ex Mrs. Clive. The two smile and laugh because they have planned the perfect crime…or something. Except isn’t Halle’s money still in probate and wouldn’t the two of them not want to be seen together, especially IN THE PARKING LOT OF THE FRICKIN’ POLICE STATION? The suggestion is of course that these two manipulate this whole thing, except too many things have to happen in a particular manner in order for this to be true. I know I’m supposed to suspend disbelief, but they could have at least tried to fill some of the plot holes. For example, for their little plot to work out juuuuuust right, Halle had to know that Peter Greene would show up at the funeral and that Clive would spot him at the funeral and wig out and that the cops would see all this and make all sorts of connections.

And then there is the flashback aspect of the movie. You know why I forgot to mention it earler? Because the movie totes forgot all about that angle until the end. We don’t get a single voice-over or flash forward to remind us that we are watching events that have already happened. Then again, they probably realized that doing such would hip us to the fact that Halle was recounting events she would have know way of knowing about.

Anyway, this is a bad movie, but since I laughed most of the time, I can’t say it was awful. That's where my Netflix dilelmma began. I didn't really "like" this movie, but I didn't "not like" it either. Two stars (not like) seems mean, but three stars seems generous. Wish I had a 1/2 star option. Enough. So, I’d would say if a person was flipping channels looking for something to watch on a Sunday afternoon and came across this movie on that weird station that is like Fox but isn’t, said-person could give it a watch if they can’t find an Ice Road Truckers marathon or something else on.

Pa-rump-pa-pa-redrum!

2008-12-30T13:47:00.001-06:00

How exactly are those nutcracker stamps supposed to impart joy to the holiday season? Those things are fucking terrifying! I would not give something that looked like one of these to my worst enemy (mostly because ugly shit like this tends to be expensive also). JesusMaryandJoseph, just seeing the stamps as I'm opening mail at work has me freaked out. Remember that movie Trilogy of Terror and the last story about the crazy killer doll? I'm just sayin'...

All Duggared Out

2008-12-23T17:43:00.001-06:00

I really should ignore anything I see about these people because they freak me the fuck out and their shameless self-promotion irritates the hell out of me, but I had to link to this Gawker post which expresses many of my sentiments about the Duggar family. I honestly can't tell sometimes if the press is showing them to us as some kind of shining example of how we should all live our lives or if they (too) are trying to figure out exactly what kind of freakshow they're running down in Arkansas. While I can admire them for being extremely wise and thrifty with their income, I don't think their is anything particularly admirable about dragging kid after kid after kid into an already over-populated household, especially since you consider these new kids opportunities to teach the other kids about the responsibilities involved in raising a family.

And back to the income thing, one of the conceits of the Duggar show and Jon & Kate Plus 8 is that these folks are "just like you", meaning they are trying to balance work and couple time with raising children. They seem to fail to acknowledge all the ridiculous donations and whatever they earn for being a part of a damn TV show. I watch J&K now and then (I can't help it; I totally want to kidnap little Aidan and take him to the zoo) and I don't remember the last time I saw Jon leaving for work. They are going off to SeaWorld or Disney or down the shore or something with all the kids and either nannies or helpful relatives in tow every week. Are we really supposed to believe they pay for their own trips? Did the thrifty one-dollar-show-buying Duggars actually spend valuable Christian assets to go to that den of sin called Rudy's New York City?

You know what's really messed up? It appears that one of the Duggar sons had found some woman to marry him. What woman would even date one of these freakneaks let alone get roped into being Michelle Duggar: The Next Generation? My mind is totally blown.

Off that gross topic: I have finished Season 2 of Dexter. Season 3 only ended its Showtime run last night so I now have to wait for ever before it comes out on DVD. Must say I was not terribly impressed with last season. Certain characters were such annoying distractions (LILA!) that I could barely get into it. I look forward to better things this season.

I also watched a few Netflix Instant-Watch movies including a boring documentary about snuff films and an awesome documentary about slasher films. And since I have a decent library of films of my own I busted open my copy of Big Trouble in Little China and watched it with the commentary track on. There is nothing like listening to Kurt Russell and John Carpenter smoke, drink, and shoot the shit while watching a movie. I also watched a bit of The Big Lebowski. Meh! I was making dinner while it was on so maybe if I sit down and really pay attention and not work on my Jolly Roger sweater, I'll find it as amusing as everyone else does.

The movie industry hates me

2008-12-16T11:52:00.002-06:00

Sigh! I am trying not to be angry about Rob Zombie writing and directing Halloween 2, but I just can't help it. It just bothers me so much that he (an alleged fan of the original films) thinks he can better the franchise. The whippersnappers and gorehounds really seemed to like his version of Halloween. Even though I consider myself a slasher fan, the bloodlessness of the original is one of its strong points. There is nothing fast-paced about John Carpenter's film. There are no quick cuts. There are no loving close-ups of gaping wounds. Okay, I've gone on too much about this already. I bitch and complain, but you know I'm gonna see it anyway...probably in the theatre even though that's all expensive and shit.

I do have a couple of remakes I am actually looking forward to. One of them is a remake of My Bloody Valentine which is an awesome Canadian horror film from the early 80s. The 2009 version is going to be in 3D which is AWESOME (hopefully) and it stars Tom Atkins. It also features Kerr Smith who was in one of the worst horror movies (The Forsaken, because The Lost Boys wasn't the first movie about pretty vampires and Twilight probably won't be the last) I've ever seen, but I will overlook that.

I'm also kind of excited for the Friday the 13th remake. This series isn't as close to my heart as Michael or Freddy (and I will have to rant on that in a little bit), so I kind of don't care about them remaking it. I kind of like that they are ditch the real killer of the original and going straight for the Jason. The movie looks very much like every other recent horror film with really loud music and flashy quick cuts, but I guess I'll have to suffer.

On to the news of an Elm Street remake withOUT Robert Englund as Freddy. Um, good luck with that but I don't know how you can pull that off. Robert Englund IS Freddy. As the guys from It Came from the Basement mentioned in a recent podcast, the filmmakers can't just slap any old stuntman into make-up like with most other movie killers. They seem to think it has to be a NAME actor in the role. They even suggest Johnny Depp since you know he's already been in two Elm Street movies (which he isn't embarrassed about unlike some now-famous people who started out in horror films). Apparently there were rumors that Billy Bob Thornton would play the role. I think a name actor would take too much focus off the story. I like my horror movies with a bunch of unknown actors who will either go on to big things and not include their horror debuts on their resumes or will keep making the same sort of movies for eons to come becoming SciFi staples.

Shoe Fly

2008-12-15T16:14:00.001-06:00

What? Did you think I wouldn't comment on this story? I can't help but laugh every time I see something about it. The video is kind of hilarious and frankly, so were Dubya's attempts to lighten the mood ("All I can report is that it is a size 10.") George is a spry old scamp. Not that most politicians arent very good at ducking and dodging. Hiyoooooooo! (I'm here all week.) Not so funny are reports in the Times that shoe-thrower was beaten silly ("he was crying like a woman" which is kind of offensive, actually, but at least he didn't say "like a bitch"). However, it is also a little frightening that the guy was able to fling both his shoes at him in such short order. Thank the gods those weren't, like, ninja throwing stars or something worse. Even one month of Dick Cheney as president would be one month too long.

What up wit me?

2008-12-11T10:24:00.001-06:00

Here's my latest adventures. I finally sat down and watched those Dexter DVDs I'd had for about 3 weeks last weekend. I had managed to watch two of them online and got all sorts of hooked. When I returned to watch more the next day, they were no long on Netflix's instant-watch list. Booo! Anyway, I am soooo hooked on this show now. I was quite bummed that the ones I had at home did not include the season finale. Looks like Showtime padded out the box set by slapping the finale episode on a 4th disc with two episodes of Brotherhood. I tried watching that show when it first came on, back when I still had super-duper fancy cable. Irish Sopranos in Boston instead of New Jersey. Yawn! Maybe I'll watch the ones on the Dexter disc and see if it's worth it.

I didn't have to work Tuesday night and I just couldn't bring myself to watch The First 48 (which I had watched Monday night), so I instant-watched Graduation Day online. That movie is best known as being Vanna White's acting debut. It's is a pretty typical 80s slasher film. It is basically Prom Night meets Friday the 13th. The premise is a young girl dies of a blood clot at a track meet. Her Navy sister comes home to investigate and then all the track team members start getting killed off. This movie is kinda badly slapped together. You can barely make out one character from the next. There one scene of someone getting killed and you're like "Who the hell are you?" because you have never seen this person at any other point in the movie. The true killer is also kind of obvs also. I gave it a two out of five which might be a bit tooo generous, but I didn't hate it and that's saying a lot because I seem to hate everything nowadays.

Right now, I'm upset because Netflix has committed some kind of snafu. I sent back the first 3 discs of Season 1 Dexter this Monday and they arrived Tuesday. I expected to get S1, disc 4 and S2 discs 1 & 2 in the mail yesterday. Instead, I only got the S2 discs. I went to Netflix today to see if they other was just delayed and they seem to have been under the impression that I'd already gotten it and sent it back to them. Now I have to wait until Friday or Saturday before I get that one. Which is okay I guess since I actually work tonight and wouldn't be able to watch the episode anyway, but still. Boo on you, Netflix!

So that's it. Maybe over lunch I'll get a chance to rave about the 13 Bullets!

The Crotchety Crocheter and the Bah Humbugs

2008-12-04T09:59:00.003-06:00

Another boring day at work. There is NOTHING to do here. I anticipated this, so I brought in a disc with a bunch of my old school papers on it. I've spent much of the morning cringing at horrible typos and grammar errors. I also really hate how bad I am at crafting endings to my papers. They always come off as rushed, like I just shrugged and said, "...and that's that." I have to work on that...if I ever return to school that is. God! I hate being broke! I hate that I can't freakin' finish school! What the heck happened to me? I'm kind of a loser now.

Wooooooooh! Where'd all that come from? I'm in a good mood and everything. My papers aren't all that awful. I sense a little idealism and naivete in some of my writing, but overall, I stand behind much of what I wrote. After all I wasn't that much younger when I wrote most of it. Slightly less bitter perhaps, but not by much.

One of the things I came across was the journal entry I wrote to Germain after his death. It made me a little teary-eyed. I also came across a paper I wrote in one of my writing classes about his death in which I discussed reading that journal entry at his memorial. I talked about his death bringing our family closer and us being more open. Too bad that isn't true anymore. I've gone from calling and sending cards like clockwork to never calling or sending cards, not even to the Younguns. I actually bought cards, but just haven't mailed them. I think my Younguns are due for one big ole holiday package filled with the presents I've made them (yes, I have made presents for most of them, but again, haven't sent them) and the long-overdue cards I still have.

Anyway, below is the journal entry I wrote to my brother.

I’m sorry Germain. I’m really sorry I wasn’t a better sister to you. I’m sorry that I was selfish about letting you come stay with me in Minnesota. I wish I had paid more attention when you called. I wish I had really read into what you were saying about how you were doing. I’m really sorry I didn’t understand what it was like for you being alone in the house with someone who could change moods at the drop of a dime. I won’t feel guilty. I won’t blame myself for what you chose to do. This was your solution. This was your way out of your pain and hurt.
I hope you will forgive me for not being strong enough for you. I want you to know that I love you and the fact that you are gone will be a great loss to me and many others whose lives you’ve touched.
It’s too bad we couldn’t talk about things that happened: our youth, our growing-up years. Maybe if we had these words would be in a letter to you or I’d be saying them to you on the telephone. The tears would still fall. The pain would still be there. But you would be here.
It’s hard for me to believe in the concept of God or Jehovah, but I want to. And I want to believe that He saw into your heart and will take you into Heaven or bring you back in the hereafter to be with us and Mama. If there isn’t, I hope that all of your pain and suffering are over, and that there is some peace and comfort in your life FINALLY.
Take care, Little Brother. I miss you.

That brings me to another thing. I miss writing in my journal. Blogging is cool and all, but it is no replacement for my little journal book. I don't even know why I don't do it anymore. I guess I lost patience with it. I stopped long before I started this blog thing. Because blogging is all OUT THERE and stuff, I can't be as blunt and honest as I can in my journal. I know no one is gonna read my little notebook, but who knows who might stumble across this thing. This particular entry is probably the most open I've been in a journal entry and I only really feel safe blogging it because NO ONE READS THIS BUT ME. I could copy and paste this over on MySpace where I know I have more readers, but I don't know if I wanna.

My break is long over. Once again I have to shrug my shoulders and abruptly end my writing. I really need to work on that.

Turkey Day Re-visited

2008-12-03T15:34:00.000-06:00

It’s dead right now. I have already done 105 record requests (some of those were multiples though) and 13 reinstatements. I was pretty much done by 2. I’m too fast for my own good because now I have nothing to do and I’m bored. So bored I even took a smoke break. Now I feel icky and smelly. I hate smoking at work.

Since I’m so bored, I figure I’ll recount my Thanksgiving weekend. On Wednesday, I went to the CC with Rebecca. That was none too exciting. We talked a little and had cheese fries and PBR. I started feeling sick and left by 11. I almost felt bad leaving her alone, but Christine (ugh!) was on her way and Rebecca handles herself pretty well alone.

When I got home, I promptly puked up my fries and beer and felt like crap the next day. Still I soldiered on and made my butternut squash gratin to take to JewLo’s. Mr. JewLo and BabyGirl JewLo picked me at about 3. BGJL is so adorable and was all over me, showing her auntie some much needed baby-love. I could have been a ½ way good auntie and called my own family, but I just couldn’t muster the energy to do it. For some reason, I’ve just been avoiding calling home for months now. When I was flush, I had no problem with it, but now I just can’t do it.

I thought about going out after I returned home, but I still wasn’t feeling great so I just stayed in and watched TV or movies or something. I can’t even remember what the heck I did. What I didn’t do was watch Dexter. I’ve had the first two discs of season 1 for over a week now. I did manage to watch the first two eps online before they were removed from the Instant Watch list the next day! Grrrr!

Friday was pay day so I went to the office and got my dough then went to my Richfield buffet spot. I also bought yarn I did not need to make yet another scarf. Maybe it will be a much delayed birthday/Xmas present for one of the Younguns (they are all too old be called Babies anymore). I stayed in that night too because I’m old and unexciting. I tried to watch Night of the Demons, but it just looked cheesy-bad which might have been fun if I hadn’t been watching all by myself.

Saturday, Sabrina and I did some shopping and then drove down to the casino in Hinckley for an overnight stay. That was fun. I brought all the change in my doggie bank (about $26 bucks) and about $60 cash plus I got $10 worth of free credits with my Player’s Card. I came home with $20 and no more money on my Players Card (but 28 points worth…something I imagine). Some of that was food and beers (And let me rant here about the lameness of the eats at Hinckley. I was not impressed with either the steak I got at the Americana Grill or whatever it’s called or with the breakfast buffet the next day. The best thing I ate was the loaded baked potato that came with my steak.), but the rest was all gamblin’. We pretty much stuck with penny games, but I just had to use some of my quarters in one of those slot type machines, I actually won about 86 quarters once (after spending only $2.25), but I got all addicted and just kept playing until my little bucket was empty.

We came back into town at about 1:30 or so on Sunday and I spent the rest of the day listening to podcasts and chilling until my Stories came on. I’m still amazed the annoying fratnerds have made it to the Final 3. If they win, I will know that the world will end soon. I never thought I’d be pulling for Nick and Starr, but they’ve proven themselves to be a pretty kick-ass team and I’m all about winning by your wits instead of dumb luck (dang it, Dallas!).

So that was my long weekend. Semi-eventful for me. Craziness!