So this happened:
Earlier today one of my coworkers brought over some mail that had to be returned to sender for various reasons. The majority of this mail is actually stuff received by a different department, but they are too lazy or stupid to be able to multi-task answering phone calls and typing on the computer at the same time. You see, sometimes customers misread the letters we send, so they send payments that should go to one of the counties to us and those have to be sent back. This task had been ours when I started, but we eventually got our boss to send it to the department this mail is actually addressed to. That was two months ago.
Over the course of these two months, we have been hearing a lot of grumbling from this other department about having to do this work. Whines like, "This is lot more work than I was told." Slowly, we have started to get some of this work back, largely because my boss still has this horrible people-pleasing problem. It's an issue I've counseled her about on several occasions and she makes tiny steps forward, but then someone pouts or whines or has a little hissy-fit and it's back to "I just want people to be happy" land.
So today, this other coworker brought this stuff over to me and I couldn't bite my tongue. I sent over a ranty email to my boss about how we have enough on our plate and don't need to be doing the jobs of others. She sent something back about how the person in this other department who does these is on vacation, so we're covering. I noted that we have TWO people out of the office and we aren't getting any volunteers from them (or any other department) to cover our asses.
A few minutes ago, I got pulled into a little meeting in which she says basically, "I don't like getting complaints about workload from people I see on Facebook all day." Ooooooooh, snap! You might be thinking. Well, no. Because as I explained to HER, "I can sort mail, enter over 100 record requests, AND cover the front counter all while typing up this whole blog and still have extra time in my work day." Response? None because she knows that shit is true.
I hate to bitch about my job in a time when I'm fortunate to even have a job, but this shit pisses me off. It's fine if she wants to be a yes-person, but then she needs to be the one doing the work she said yes to. Don't sloff it off on us just because you think you know something about how much time we spend on the Internets. Shit, she doesn't even know how much time I spend playing on my iPhone.
Friday, November 05, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
My Soul to Take aka My Time to Waste
Despite listening to the warnings from the Bloody Good Horror crew, I went and saw this because they really made it sound awful but in a hilarious way and well, for me, that’s exactly what it was. The movie is utterly ridiculous. The kids are all really irritating. The story is a sloppy hot mess. The direction is a bit too modern and stylized for my liking.
The story was convoluted and nonsensical. At the start we see this regular-looking schmoe who it turns out has multiple personalities one of which happens to me a blood-thirsty killer dubbed The Riverton Ripper (why do movies and TV hate the mentally ill so?). The Ripper personality murders his pregnant wife then passes out and wakes up as Schmoe. Not realizing Wife is dead, Schmoe rings up his shrink who advises him to tell Wifey to take their young daughter and get the heck out. Doc himself will be right over. Schmoe realizes Wifey is dead and freaks out. Then he blacks out again.
Meanwhile, the daughter wakes up and heads into her parents bedroom where Schmoe is passed out on the bathroom floor. She goes to be with her mother and suddenly, Schmoe as The Ripper is rising up behind her, knife in hand ready to Ginsu the kid. Fortunately, the cops show up and blow several holes through him. He falls onto the poor kid who is snatched up by the copy. He’s all, “Are you okay?” and she looks at him with dead eyes and says, “Get away from me.” Hmm. Anyway, somehow the Ripper wakes up, gets the cops gun away from him and shoots the cop, then he shoots another cop (or maybe it was a EMT) who comes in. He’s about to blow away a Haitian EMT who walks in, but the cop comes to (yay, bulletproof vests!) and blasts him with his secret ankle gun.
Now, Schmoe the Ripper is being taken to the hospital. The cop and the Haitian EMT are riding along. Haitian EMT says something about Haitians don’t believe in multiple personalities, but multiple SOULS. Cop is radioing ahead about their crazy passenger and he gets an OB nurse who says, “It’s like totally bonkers here tonight. We have, like, 7 women in labor.” Cop is all, “Well, we’ve got the Riverton Ripper so make some room.” He also mentions Schmoe’s real name which causes the nurse’s eyes to get real big.
Suddenly, Schmoe the Ripper goes all Michael Myers in Halloween 4 and starts attacking the cop and Haitian EMT, slashing the latter’s throat. The driver loses control of the ambulance which crashes. The cop who was tailing them manages to pull out the cop who was riding in the ambulance. They find the gurney empty next to the river.
Fade to 16 years later. The kids of Riverton are having a gathering at the site of the ambulance accident (complete with the burned-out ambulance still at the site because apparently the town can’t afford a tow truck) and blabbing about how 16 years ago that day, 7 of them were born (and the guy HELPFULLY introduces all of the Riverton 7 because apparently, none of the other kids at this gathering know who they are…or it’s just clumsy exposition) and the Riverton Ripper died. Allegedly, every year, these 7 hold some kind of ritual where one of them shoves the Ripper down to keep him from coming back to wreak havoc. [Side-rant: the only possible annual tradition a group of 16-year-olds could possibly have is shopping for the first day of school.] This year, it’s up to our annoying protagonist Bug to do it. Out of the woods, comes a giant puppet that looks like a home-made Predator costume. Bug is a giant wuss who’s afraid of what he HAS to know is a dude in a COSTUME (I mean, they've been doing this for YEARS)! Before he can fulfill his “destiny”, the cops come and bust up the gathering. Kids go scattering into the woods. While they hide, we get random exposition that one of the kids is blind and another has an abusive stepfather. Did you say, “Whatever”? Oh, no, that was me.
To sorta summarize, the kids start dying. Is the Ripper back or is someone else offing these annoying little brats? Maybe the Ripper’s SOUL(s?) was transferred to one of the kids who was born the night he died. Woooooooooo! Spoooooooooky! Actually, it’s not.
This movie was laughably bad. Things are treated as important that turn out to have no significance at all. For instance, the blind kid. So while the nurse in the intro is on the phone with the cop, another nurse rushes by and says one of the kids is blind. This is a factoid you may or may not even hear. So you’ll have to watch closely to figure out which kid is blind. (I’ll admit I knew to look for him because the BGH guys mentioned it.) You do see him with a cane at points in the movie and I think someone else brings it up, but really, it’s not that important. Really. It's not.
Also a throwaway plot: there’s a whole lot of nonsense about the principal’s 15-year-old daughter being pregnant, maybe by this jock who is one of the Riverton 7. Wanna know how that turns out? Tough! It has nothing to do with anything.
Was there really a point to the born-againiness of the redhead? NO!
Was Craven trying to make some kind of STATEMENT about bullying with the one girl running some kind of (literal) hit list? And on that note, would the whole school really be in fear of some girl who was too dumb to graduate with her class the previous year (or two years)? I’d be mocking her for the idiot she clearly is instead of becoming part of her multi-ethnic mafia.
The one thing ONE THING I will give this movie credit for was doing something also done in the Friday the 13th remake. They gave me a Final Girl who wasn’t really the Final Girl. Here, they did it TWICE. We have two female characters who have much of what it takes to make it to the end credits. Neither is portrayed as particularly bitchy or slutty and they’re both fairly nice to, HECK, even ATTRACTED to, our “hero”. Doesn’t do much for them in the end. Meanwhile, the chick that’s mean to EVERYONE makes it to the end in the most inexplicable way possible. Whoops. Spoiler.
And let’s talk about The Ripper himself. Clearly, Mr. Craven has taken a page from the Guide to Making a Horror Film 2010 edition. Page #14 dictates that your killer must be at least 7 feet tall, have scraggly hair, and wear a trench coat (unless you’re remaking A Nightmare on Elm Street in which case you must cast someone barely taller than the kids he’s terrorizing as your antagonist). It skipped the page that said, “Unless his name is Jigsaw, your killer must never speak. That shit’s been done to death.” (Another page skipped in the Elm Street remake.) The first time I saw The Ripper (the actual killer…not the puppet the kids use for their “ritual”), I actually laughed out loud. Frankly, the thing looked like a Predators prototype that was rejected. Craven must have been walking through the set of that movie and saw this and when told they weren’t using it, asked to take it for his movie.
Oh, and this was shown in 3D in some theatres. I saw it in regular old 2D. I'm glad I didn't have to spend that extra $3.
Overall, I would never recommend anyone see this movie without copious amounts of booze and friends who are good at MST3King movies. This movie might just be The Room of the horror genre.
The story was convoluted and nonsensical. At the start we see this regular-looking schmoe who it turns out has multiple personalities one of which happens to me a blood-thirsty killer dubbed The Riverton Ripper (why do movies and TV hate the mentally ill so?). The Ripper personality murders his pregnant wife then passes out and wakes up as Schmoe. Not realizing Wife is dead, Schmoe rings up his shrink who advises him to tell Wifey to take their young daughter and get the heck out. Doc himself will be right over. Schmoe realizes Wifey is dead and freaks out. Then he blacks out again.
Meanwhile, the daughter wakes up and heads into her parents bedroom where Schmoe is passed out on the bathroom floor. She goes to be with her mother and suddenly, Schmoe as The Ripper is rising up behind her, knife in hand ready to Ginsu the kid. Fortunately, the cops show up and blow several holes through him. He falls onto the poor kid who is snatched up by the copy. He’s all, “Are you okay?” and she looks at him with dead eyes and says, “Get away from me.” Hmm. Anyway, somehow the Ripper wakes up, gets the cops gun away from him and shoots the cop, then he shoots another cop (or maybe it was a EMT) who comes in. He’s about to blow away a Haitian EMT who walks in, but the cop comes to (yay, bulletproof vests!) and blasts him with his secret ankle gun.
Now, Schmoe the Ripper is being taken to the hospital. The cop and the Haitian EMT are riding along. Haitian EMT says something about Haitians don’t believe in multiple personalities, but multiple SOULS. Cop is radioing ahead about their crazy passenger and he gets an OB nurse who says, “It’s like totally bonkers here tonight. We have, like, 7 women in labor.” Cop is all, “Well, we’ve got the Riverton Ripper so make some room.” He also mentions Schmoe’s real name which causes the nurse’s eyes to get real big.
Suddenly, Schmoe the Ripper goes all Michael Myers in Halloween 4 and starts attacking the cop and Haitian EMT, slashing the latter’s throat. The driver loses control of the ambulance which crashes. The cop who was tailing them manages to pull out the cop who was riding in the ambulance. They find the gurney empty next to the river.
Fade to 16 years later. The kids of Riverton are having a gathering at the site of the ambulance accident (complete with the burned-out ambulance still at the site because apparently the town can’t afford a tow truck) and blabbing about how 16 years ago that day, 7 of them were born (and the guy HELPFULLY introduces all of the Riverton 7 because apparently, none of the other kids at this gathering know who they are…or it’s just clumsy exposition) and the Riverton Ripper died. Allegedly, every year, these 7 hold some kind of ritual where one of them shoves the Ripper down to keep him from coming back to wreak havoc. [Side-rant: the only possible annual tradition a group of 16-year-olds could possibly have is shopping for the first day of school.] This year, it’s up to our annoying protagonist Bug to do it. Out of the woods, comes a giant puppet that looks like a home-made Predator costume. Bug is a giant wuss who’s afraid of what he HAS to know is a dude in a COSTUME (I mean, they've been doing this for YEARS)! Before he can fulfill his “destiny”, the cops come and bust up the gathering. Kids go scattering into the woods. While they hide, we get random exposition that one of the kids is blind and another has an abusive stepfather. Did you say, “Whatever”? Oh, no, that was me.
To sorta summarize, the kids start dying. Is the Ripper back or is someone else offing these annoying little brats? Maybe the Ripper’s SOUL(s?) was transferred to one of the kids who was born the night he died. Woooooooooo! Spoooooooooky! Actually, it’s not.
This movie was laughably bad. Things are treated as important that turn out to have no significance at all. For instance, the blind kid. So while the nurse in the intro is on the phone with the cop, another nurse rushes by and says one of the kids is blind. This is a factoid you may or may not even hear. So you’ll have to watch closely to figure out which kid is blind. (I’ll admit I knew to look for him because the BGH guys mentioned it.) You do see him with a cane at points in the movie and I think someone else brings it up, but really, it’s not that important. Really. It's not.
Also a throwaway plot: there’s a whole lot of nonsense about the principal’s 15-year-old daughter being pregnant, maybe by this jock who is one of the Riverton 7. Wanna know how that turns out? Tough! It has nothing to do with anything.
Was there really a point to the born-againiness of the redhead? NO!
Was Craven trying to make some kind of STATEMENT about bullying with the one girl running some kind of (literal) hit list? And on that note, would the whole school really be in fear of some girl who was too dumb to graduate with her class the previous year (or two years)? I’d be mocking her for the idiot she clearly is instead of becoming part of her multi-ethnic mafia.
The one thing ONE THING I will give this movie credit for was doing something also done in the Friday the 13th remake. They gave me a Final Girl who wasn’t really the Final Girl. Here, they did it TWICE. We have two female characters who have much of what it takes to make it to the end credits. Neither is portrayed as particularly bitchy or slutty and they’re both fairly nice to, HECK, even ATTRACTED to, our “hero”. Doesn’t do much for them in the end. Meanwhile, the chick that’s mean to EVERYONE makes it to the end in the most inexplicable way possible. Whoops. Spoiler.
And let’s talk about The Ripper himself. Clearly, Mr. Craven has taken a page from the Guide to Making a Horror Film 2010 edition. Page #14 dictates that your killer must be at least 7 feet tall, have scraggly hair, and wear a trench coat (unless you’re remaking A Nightmare on Elm Street in which case you must cast someone barely taller than the kids he’s terrorizing as your antagonist). It skipped the page that said, “Unless his name is Jigsaw, your killer must never speak. That shit’s been done to death.” (Another page skipped in the Elm Street remake.) The first time I saw The Ripper (the actual killer…not the puppet the kids use for their “ritual”), I actually laughed out loud. Frankly, the thing looked like a Predators prototype that was rejected. Craven must have been walking through the set of that movie and saw this and when told they weren’t using it, asked to take it for his movie.
Oh, and this was shown in 3D in some theatres. I saw it in regular old 2D. I'm glad I didn't have to spend that extra $3.
Overall, I would never recommend anyone see this movie without copious amounts of booze and friends who are good at MST3King movies. This movie might just be The Room of the horror genre.
Monday, September 13, 2010
In The Room
So I heard about this thing called The Room. At first, I paid it no mind. I mean, Netflix is always recommending random nonsense to me and this looked completely random and like utter nonsense. Then I heard a few things about it on some podcasts that I like. Again, I gave it no heed as I don't always immediately follow podcast recommendations. Next, I saw that it was the midnight movie at The Uptown and that got me wondering, so I finally added it to the bottom of my Netflix queue (#150). Then Fozziebare shows up on Night of the Living Podcast talking about it and I decided this needed to be seen so it advanced up my queue behind Season 5 of Supernatural which wasn't out for another week, and my queue is chockful of stuff I really wanted to see 2 months ago when I first put them in there, but now I'm just meh.
Anyhow, so I got the DVD on September 2, just in time for a long weekend. Because Dateline was a repeat that Friday evening, I decided to pop it in the old player. I'm a major cynic of late (aka bitter, old lady) so I wasn't expecting much. Netflix's description of the flick as a black comedy did not warm my cockles as I tend to despise black comedies. Imagine my surprise when I kinda fell in love with this movie within the first 10 minutes. I was laughing my ass off the whole time. This movie IS a comedy, but I don't think anyone on the set knew that at the time.
The basic premise is this guy is engaged to this girl who actually totally hates him and is cheating on him with his best friend and telling everyone about but him that she hates him and is banging his best friend. I mean, she even tells her MOM she's cheating on the guy. That is an oversimplification of the plot of this movie, but that really is the gist of it. There are other extremely random bits and pieces and I do mean EXTREMELY RANDOM (drug dealers and breast cancer is all I'll say), but they mostly have nothing to do with the plot which is all about showing how awesome this guy is and how evil this girl is.
I read a review somewhere that analyzed this film as a sort of payback from the writer/producer/director/star to someone who had broken his heart. After watching it about 5 times in a weekend (I shit you not, I only returned it BECAUSE Supernatural Season 5 came out on DVD and I needed to some Winchester action), I tend to agree. There are only 3 women in the film (as main characters) and two of them are evil, but kinda blandly evil. (Please note that everyone is bland in this movie which is part of what makes it awesome. The film quality is bland, the clothes are bland, the music is bland...unless you were really into off-shoots of shitty R&B one-hit wonders. But it is all so awesome, it's almost indescribable.) Meanwhile, we are constantly shown our lead being the most awesome boyfriend ever (this is in his mind, not necessarily in real life). EVERYONE thinks he is the most sweet, sensitive soul and that Girlfriend is just terrible for cheating on him. Even the best friend whom she's cheating with constantly talks about how great the main dude is (and the best friend is barely held responsible for his actions with Girlfriend). I wasn't sure I would like this. I was afraid all the hype would destroy it (perhaps that was the problem with Troll 2?), but it really does live up to its awful movie hype.
Anyhow, so I got the DVD on September 2, just in time for a long weekend. Because Dateline was a repeat that Friday evening, I decided to pop it in the old player. I'm a major cynic of late (aka bitter, old lady) so I wasn't expecting much. Netflix's description of the flick as a black comedy did not warm my cockles as I tend to despise black comedies. Imagine my surprise when I kinda fell in love with this movie within the first 10 minutes. I was laughing my ass off the whole time. This movie IS a comedy, but I don't think anyone on the set knew that at the time.
The basic premise is this guy is engaged to this girl who actually totally hates him and is cheating on him with his best friend and telling everyone about but him that she hates him and is banging his best friend. I mean, she even tells her MOM she's cheating on the guy. That is an oversimplification of the plot of this movie, but that really is the gist of it. There are other extremely random bits and pieces and I do mean EXTREMELY RANDOM (drug dealers and breast cancer is all I'll say), but they mostly have nothing to do with the plot which is all about showing how awesome this guy is and how evil this girl is.
I read a review somewhere that analyzed this film as a sort of payback from the writer/producer/director/star to someone who had broken his heart. After watching it about 5 times in a weekend (I shit you not, I only returned it BECAUSE Supernatural Season 5 came out on DVD and I needed to some Winchester action), I tend to agree. There are only 3 women in the film (as main characters) and two of them are evil, but kinda blandly evil. (Please note that everyone is bland in this movie which is part of what makes it awesome. The film quality is bland, the clothes are bland, the music is bland...unless you were really into off-shoots of shitty R&B one-hit wonders. But it is all so awesome, it's almost indescribable.) Meanwhile, we are constantly shown our lead being the most awesome boyfriend ever (this is in his mind, not necessarily in real life). EVERYONE thinks he is the most sweet, sensitive soul and that Girlfriend is just terrible for cheating on him. Even the best friend whom she's cheating with constantly talks about how great the main dude is (and the best friend is barely held responsible for his actions with Girlfriend). I wasn't sure I would like this. I was afraid all the hype would destroy it (perhaps that was the problem with Troll 2?), but it really does live up to its awful movie hype.
Thursday, May 06, 2010
On the defensive
Okay. I will stop trying to defend my dislike for the Nightmare on Elm Street remake riiiiiiiiiiiight NOW (uh, after this blog post). But by god, I am sick of hearing/reading comments from people that those who dislike this new one are giving the original too much credit because NO, no I am not. Maybe these people are giving the original too much credit for having an influence over how I feel about its remake.
Let me clarify something: I DO NOT THINK ALL REMAKES ARE BAD. Yes, I acknowledge that I did not like (to put it kindly) the Friday the 13th and the Halloween remakes. I will even admit that my dislike for RZ's Halloween was definitely colored by my own reverence for John Carpenter's original and my affection for that series as a whole. (Hey, you're talking about someone who will totally defend parts 4 and 5 (but never The Curse and Resurrection. I'm not crazy.) However, I HAVE LIKED REMAKES BEFORE. Honest. I swear! There is the remake of The Thing, but that's too easy. Let's go with newer stuff. I believe I was one of the few defenders of My Bloody Valentine 3D. I fucking loved that movie. I own that shit on DVD and have actually watched the 2D version and I STILL LIKED IT! I thought it was a heck of a good time. I got over the stiff acting, plot contrivances, and CGI blood because it was just fun to watch. Now, I've listened to the commentary and learned that the filmmakers were taking things waaaaaaay too seriously, but somehow that didn't come through on the screen for me. It was just a fun viewing experience.
And you know what else I liked? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Another Platinum Dunes vehicle even! Oh, I know for some that means I lose a lot of my horror cred and I will lose some more when I admit (once again, for I'm sure I've said this before) I am not enamored of the original. Yeah, I like it okay and I can kinda see how that movie might have been shockingly groundbreaking in its time, but it's just no great shakes for me. The best part of the movie is hating Franklin which probably isn't the objective. It's been a while since I saw the remake, but I remember it being suspenseful and creepy and also fun to watch. Its sequel: not so much.
Those are the biggest names I can think of. I also watched the Prom Night remake and didn't hate the hell out of it and I'm sure there are others, but I just wanted to point out that I'm not just some hater. The new NoES just didn't appeal to me. If this same flick had been a straight-to-Netflix-streaming movie with a creepy child molester mysteriously causing kids to die, I would have still thought it was boring (and I probably would have accused it of ripping off A Nightmare on Elm Street). I wanted it to be good and it wasn't and that has very little to do with how I felt about the first movie.
Okay, I'm letting it go now. I really am. On a side note, I almost wish they'd stop making remakes so we could all stop having this same tired argument.
Let me clarify something: I DO NOT THINK ALL REMAKES ARE BAD. Yes, I acknowledge that I did not like (to put it kindly) the Friday the 13th and the Halloween remakes. I will even admit that my dislike for RZ's Halloween was definitely colored by my own reverence for John Carpenter's original and my affection for that series as a whole. (Hey, you're talking about someone who will totally defend parts 4 and 5 (but never The Curse and Resurrection. I'm not crazy.) However, I HAVE LIKED REMAKES BEFORE. Honest. I swear! There is the remake of The Thing, but that's too easy. Let's go with newer stuff. I believe I was one of the few defenders of My Bloody Valentine 3D. I fucking loved that movie. I own that shit on DVD and have actually watched the 2D version and I STILL LIKED IT! I thought it was a heck of a good time. I got over the stiff acting, plot contrivances, and CGI blood because it was just fun to watch. Now, I've listened to the commentary and learned that the filmmakers were taking things waaaaaaay too seriously, but somehow that didn't come through on the screen for me. It was just a fun viewing experience.
And you know what else I liked? The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Another Platinum Dunes vehicle even! Oh, I know for some that means I lose a lot of my horror cred and I will lose some more when I admit (once again, for I'm sure I've said this before) I am not enamored of the original. Yeah, I like it okay and I can kinda see how that movie might have been shockingly groundbreaking in its time, but it's just no great shakes for me. The best part of the movie is hating Franklin which probably isn't the objective. It's been a while since I saw the remake, but I remember it being suspenseful and creepy and also fun to watch. Its sequel: not so much.
Those are the biggest names I can think of. I also watched the Prom Night remake and didn't hate the hell out of it and I'm sure there are others, but I just wanted to point out that I'm not just some hater. The new NoES just didn't appeal to me. If this same flick had been a straight-to-Netflix-streaming movie with a creepy child molester mysteriously causing kids to die, I would have still thought it was boring (and I probably would have accused it of ripping off A Nightmare on Elm Street). I wanted it to be good and it wasn't and that has very little to do with how I felt about the first movie.
Okay, I'm letting it go now. I really am. On a side note, I almost wish they'd stop making remakes so we could all stop having this same tired argument.
Monday, May 03, 2010
Not over the hill yet
Something is bugging me. Naturally after seeing the new A Nightmare on Elm Street movie and writing my own assessment of it, I ventured to a few other sites to see what others thought. I've come across one or two that enjoyed it, a couple others that absolutely hated it, but a majority (including me) which just found the film meddling. What bugs me is a lot of the comments made by others, specifically by people who liked the movie, about negative reviews. Many of these defenders are making the argument that negative reviewers are unfairly trashing this movie because they remember the original Elm Street too fondly. It has a ring of "Shut up, you old farts. It's our turn now." Maybe I'm a bit sensitive about that since I am one of them old farts.
The thing is that I don't think these commentors are considering several factors. Firstly, we fogies get to have an opinion too, even if that opinion is dripping with nostalgia. Trust me, I shrugged off terrible dialogue, ridiculous plot-contrivances, and mouth-breather acting when I saw the first movie back in my youth. However, I have to ask: isn't the objective of these new filmmakers to IMPROVE on the original? If the first was full of lame F/X, crazy plot holes, and dialogue no actual person would say, then don't you want to change that in your version? Secondly, it is reasonable for someone to expect better effects from a movie made in 2009 than a movie made in 1984. Filmmakers have so much technology at hand now, so yeah, your Freddy shouldn't look like a hairless rat. Finally, a remake is going to inevitably be compared to its fore bearers. Clearly, the makers of new Elm Street knew that because they CHOSE to include recreations of several iconic scenes from the original.
You know, one of the guys on the Now Playing podcast asked his fellow hosts, which of the 3 big franchise remakes (Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street), they thought was best. That question got me thinking and I was surprised at my own answer. Despite my complete and utter contempt for the film, I have to say it was...........................................Friday the 13th. (Hahaha, you totally thought I was gonna say RZ's Halloween. NEVER!!!) Looking at the film as an homage to the F13 series, I'd say those folks probably were the only one's to GET what those flicks were about (or at least the later flicks in the series). RZ's Halloween and (new) NoES seemed to take their subjects WAAAAAY too seriously. Both films seem to be scolding those old audiences for making icons out of the killers. This new Freddy will not be making an appearance on The Simpson. Michael Myers never gained the same kind of following as Freddy and Jason, but Rob apparently didn't like that we didn't know anything about where he came from. We needed to have Michael's story, in all it's trashy glory.
Now, I get that we old folks are gonna have different tastes than the youths. The person who becomes a horror fan after seeing Saw is gonna expect different things from the genre than someone who's first film was Friday the 13th Pt. 2 (me). Somehow in the 30s the Frankenstein monster's make-up caused people to faint. Times change, tastes change. But I'm not SO old that I can't appreciate some of the newer stuff. Who liked the TCM remake AND the MBV remake? This chick. But don't dismiss my dislike for nostalgia or plain ole hateration. Maybe, just maybe, I dislike it because it's just not likable.
The thing is that I don't think these commentors are considering several factors. Firstly, we fogies get to have an opinion too, even if that opinion is dripping with nostalgia. Trust me, I shrugged off terrible dialogue, ridiculous plot-contrivances, and mouth-breather acting when I saw the first movie back in my youth. However, I have to ask: isn't the objective of these new filmmakers to IMPROVE on the original? If the first was full of lame F/X, crazy plot holes, and dialogue no actual person would say, then don't you want to change that in your version? Secondly, it is reasonable for someone to expect better effects from a movie made in 2009 than a movie made in 1984. Filmmakers have so much technology at hand now, so yeah, your Freddy shouldn't look like a hairless rat. Finally, a remake is going to inevitably be compared to its fore bearers. Clearly, the makers of new Elm Street knew that because they CHOSE to include recreations of several iconic scenes from the original.
You know, one of the guys on the Now Playing podcast asked his fellow hosts, which of the 3 big franchise remakes (Halloween, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street), they thought was best. That question got me thinking and I was surprised at my own answer. Despite my complete and utter contempt for the film, I have to say it was...........................................Friday the 13th. (Hahaha, you totally thought I was gonna say RZ's Halloween. NEVER!!!) Looking at the film as an homage to the F13 series, I'd say those folks probably were the only one's to GET what those flicks were about (or at least the later flicks in the series). RZ's Halloween and (new) NoES seemed to take their subjects WAAAAAY too seriously. Both films seem to be scolding those old audiences for making icons out of the killers. This new Freddy will not be making an appearance on The Simpson. Michael Myers never gained the same kind of following as Freddy and Jason, but Rob apparently didn't like that we didn't know anything about where he came from. We needed to have Michael's story, in all it's trashy glory.
Now, I get that we old folks are gonna have different tastes than the youths. The person who becomes a horror fan after seeing Saw is gonna expect different things from the genre than someone who's first film was Friday the 13th Pt. 2 (me). Somehow in the 30s the Frankenstein monster's make-up caused people to faint. Times change, tastes change. But I'm not SO old that I can't appreciate some of the newer stuff. Who liked the TCM remake AND the MBV remake? This chick. But don't dismiss my dislike for nostalgia or plain ole hateration. Maybe, just maybe, I dislike it because it's just not likable.
Friday, April 30, 2010
A (new) Nightmare on Elm Street (some spoily stuff going on)
Guess what I just saw? I saw a 10:30 a.m showing of NoES at Southdale. The theatre was thankfully almost empty with nary a talking asshole amongst the 10 of us seeing the movie. That didn't make the movie any more enjoyable unfortunately.
Need I recap the original series for you? Okay, if I must. Freddy Krueger is a burned-up pedophile who kills teenagers in their dreams as revenge for their parents going vigilante on his ass. To this film's credit, that story was actually told more succintly here. It was always confusing in the original series who the children of Elm Street were. Here, the kids being attacked are the actual victims of Kruegers, not descendants or siblings or whatever.
That is one of the very few compliments I can give this movie. Mostly it was just really boring. It wasn't fucking awful like the Friday the 13th remake, but it wasn't as good as the TCM remake. It's well-shot and kinda creepy, but it just seemed to amble along with eerie music playing, but nothing happening. And it seemed a little disjointed, like two different movies slapped into one.
The first movie....uh, 45 minutes is sort of a retelling of the Rob & Tina story from the first movie, except with an added boyfriend, parental duplicity & boredom. One kid "kills" himself & his girlfriend has a vision of herself as a kid at his funeral. She suspects she knew him before she actually KNEW him. She tells her stalky ex, but he vehemently doesn't believe her although a totally eavesdropping Nancy does. Later, Tina (or was her name Chris....I cared so little I really don't remember) goes all Nancy Drew, finds some stuff, tells her friends who gawk disbelievingly, then she has a nightmare...and well, that's not good for her. Creepy ex gets arrested for her murder, but not before visiting Nancy and sharing info about the burned dude in their dreams. Then he has a nightmare in jail and his cellmate is gonna have some 'splainin' to do.
Now, we're in movie 2 where Nancy and Quentin (formerly Glenn aka Johnny Depp) are trying to figure out what's going on. They do some research and we get Freddy's back story & I gotta say it is creepy. He's a gardener at a preschool the kids all attended and they just love him (probably because he's about the same size as them). Then rumors get started that he's being TOO friendly with the kids and before you can say McMartin he's getting chased down and then burned up real good.
But was he really guilty or was it a bunch of parents coaxing stories out their kids? Nancy and Quentin don't remember (due, in part, to a parental conspiracy of ridonkulous proportions. Sample dialogue: "Who remembers being 5?" Uh, ME!) and go about figuring out the truth.
I'll stop there. That part I thought was handled really well. The rest of the movie though was kinda lame. And I was not thrilled with our new Freddy at all. He was creepy in a way Freddy hasn't been (for me) since Dream Warriors, but he wasn't scary at all. The make-up really looked like shit & Jackie Earle Haley's diminutive size made him less than threatening (and yet, it added to the creep-factor in the pre-burn scenes, I thought).
Most of the acting was serviceable at best. I liked Tina & Rob for the most part, but Nancy was dreadful. Watching this actress is like watching paint dry. Also, she talks through her teeth (as did JEH as Freddy which I took to be a side effect of the burn. Not familiar enough with his work to know if he always sounds like he's wearing ill-fitting choppers) & just didn't seem to have any energy. The normally good Kyle Gallner also seemed lethargic in this. Maybe that was on purpose since they were supposed to be sleep-deprived. Mostly, it just came off as bored acting. The adults are practically a throwaway here Don't cast Clancy Brown and them give him like 3 scenes. You could have given that part to any yahoo off the street.
Ultimately, this movie just wasn't very entertaining. I can't recommend this one for theatre viewing. It just wasn't worth it.
Need I recap the original series for you? Okay, if I must. Freddy Krueger is a burned-up pedophile who kills teenagers in their dreams as revenge for their parents going vigilante on his ass. To this film's credit, that story was actually told more succintly here. It was always confusing in the original series who the children of Elm Street were. Here, the kids being attacked are the actual victims of Kruegers, not descendants or siblings or whatever.
That is one of the very few compliments I can give this movie. Mostly it was just really boring. It wasn't fucking awful like the Friday the 13th remake, but it wasn't as good as the TCM remake. It's well-shot and kinda creepy, but it just seemed to amble along with eerie music playing, but nothing happening. And it seemed a little disjointed, like two different movies slapped into one.
The first movie....uh, 45 minutes is sort of a retelling of the Rob & Tina story from the first movie, except with an added boyfriend, parental duplicity & boredom. One kid "kills" himself & his girlfriend has a vision of herself as a kid at his funeral. She suspects she knew him before she actually KNEW him. She tells her stalky ex, but he vehemently doesn't believe her although a totally eavesdropping Nancy does. Later, Tina (or was her name Chris....I cared so little I really don't remember) goes all Nancy Drew, finds some stuff, tells her friends who gawk disbelievingly, then she has a nightmare...and well, that's not good for her. Creepy ex gets arrested for her murder, but not before visiting Nancy and sharing info about the burned dude in their dreams. Then he has a nightmare in jail and his cellmate is gonna have some 'splainin' to do.
Now, we're in movie 2 where Nancy and Quentin (formerly Glenn aka Johnny Depp) are trying to figure out what's going on. They do some research and we get Freddy's back story & I gotta say it is creepy. He's a gardener at a preschool the kids all attended and they just love him (probably because he's about the same size as them). Then rumors get started that he's being TOO friendly with the kids and before you can say McMartin he's getting chased down and then burned up real good.
But was he really guilty or was it a bunch of parents coaxing stories out their kids? Nancy and Quentin don't remember (due, in part, to a parental conspiracy of ridonkulous proportions. Sample dialogue: "Who remembers being 5?" Uh, ME!) and go about figuring out the truth.
I'll stop there. That part I thought was handled really well. The rest of the movie though was kinda lame. And I was not thrilled with our new Freddy at all. He was creepy in a way Freddy hasn't been (for me) since Dream Warriors, but he wasn't scary at all. The make-up really looked like shit & Jackie Earle Haley's diminutive size made him less than threatening (and yet, it added to the creep-factor in the pre-burn scenes, I thought).
Most of the acting was serviceable at best. I liked Tina & Rob for the most part, but Nancy was dreadful. Watching this actress is like watching paint dry. Also, she talks through her teeth (as did JEH as Freddy which I took to be a side effect of the burn. Not familiar enough with his work to know if he always sounds like he's wearing ill-fitting choppers) & just didn't seem to have any energy. The normally good Kyle Gallner also seemed lethargic in this. Maybe that was on purpose since they were supposed to be sleep-deprived. Mostly, it just came off as bored acting. The adults are practically a throwaway here Don't cast Clancy Brown and them give him like 3 scenes. You could have given that part to any yahoo off the street.
Ultimately, this movie just wasn't very entertaining. I can't recommend this one for theatre viewing. It just wasn't worth it.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Moving on
So I'm all moved in to my new apartment. I've been here a week now, and so far, it's awesome. I'm kinda mostly almost unpacked. Despite my best efforts to get rid of some clutter before I moved, I still have too much stuff. I wanted to eliminate using plastic bins (aka Tupperware per Andrew Tricker) as clothing storage, but there's no helping it. I just have a lot of clothes. I donated a good bit of stuff, but I just can't seem to whittle thngs down much more. I also FINALLY broke down and ditched (most) of the shoe boxes. I still managed to move with about 20 (had over 50). Some were shoes that were meant for donation, but got swept up in the moving frenzy. I can still make donations and get rid of some stuff though.
The move went well. Andy, Damian, Rebecca, and Eddie were my helpers. Andy and Eddie both have big giant pick 'em up trucks which actually came in handy even though I got one of the bigger trucks. We managed to move from one 3rd floor, no elevator apartment to another in about 4 hours. The only damaged property in the move? One wine glass and that was only because of my bad packing (cast iron skilets and IKEA wine glasses do not mix).
I've been making trips back to the old place trying to make it presentable which is quite a feat when I haven't done much in that department in the 3 years I lived there. Cleaning blinds and windows is a p-a-i-n pain! I vow to dust the blinds in this apartment at least one a week while I live here. The fridge was a breeze as were the bathroom tiles. The kitchen floor will get another over and the ceiling fan looks okay. The oven is being a bit stubborn, but that's because my oven cleaner can got clogged. Now I have to boogey over there after work on Tuesday (a counter day no less) and try to get those last bits of burned on pizza cheese off the bottom. Overall, I might lose a few bucks (one of the blinds BROKE while I was trying to clean it), but I imagine I'll get the majority of my deposit back.
Another awesome thing about the new place? Free Internet! I don't know where it's coming from (maybe the coffee shop next door), but it's awesome because that's $47 Comcast is not getting from the kid. When I ditched that, I decided to up my cable package to Digital Economy. $30 bucks a month isn't so bad. Then I got my bill yesterday and saw they were charging me for internet and for internet installation. I called to get it straightened out today and managed to get in on a promo paying only $19.99 for my Digital Economy (which would actually cost me $40 bucks a month since it's my only Comcast service) for a full year. I'm awesome.
I also decided that the iPhone is like totally overrated. As a phone I mean. I like having the apps and the QWERTY keyboard and all, but I'm not so keen on the $39.99 Data Plan. So I dug out my old Samsung Sync and called up AT&T to drop that and reactivate my that phone. Now I have an 8G iPod Touch. I'm able to pick up the same Wi-Fi connection in my apartment on my phone...I mean, iTouch, but I don't know how it'll work elsewhere. Either way, I got my old Sync (with my old Halloween and Metallica ringtones) back. I also downloaded Skype and Textfree Lite.
After cleaning at the old place for about 3 hours today, I feel like a grimy ball of dust. Gonna hop into my (fabulous clawfoot) tub, before I head to nite-nite-ville.
The move went well. Andy, Damian, Rebecca, and Eddie were my helpers. Andy and Eddie both have big giant pick 'em up trucks which actually came in handy even though I got one of the bigger trucks. We managed to move from one 3rd floor, no elevator apartment to another in about 4 hours. The only damaged property in the move? One wine glass and that was only because of my bad packing (cast iron skilets and IKEA wine glasses do not mix).
I've been making trips back to the old place trying to make it presentable which is quite a feat when I haven't done much in that department in the 3 years I lived there. Cleaning blinds and windows is a p-a-i-n pain! I vow to dust the blinds in this apartment at least one a week while I live here. The fridge was a breeze as were the bathroom tiles. The kitchen floor will get another over and the ceiling fan looks okay. The oven is being a bit stubborn, but that's because my oven cleaner can got clogged. Now I have to boogey over there after work on Tuesday (a counter day no less) and try to get those last bits of burned on pizza cheese off the bottom. Overall, I might lose a few bucks (one of the blinds BROKE while I was trying to clean it), but I imagine I'll get the majority of my deposit back.
Another awesome thing about the new place? Free Internet! I don't know where it's coming from (maybe the coffee shop next door), but it's awesome because that's $47 Comcast is not getting from the kid. When I ditched that, I decided to up my cable package to Digital Economy. $30 bucks a month isn't so bad. Then I got my bill yesterday and saw they were charging me for internet and for internet installation. I called to get it straightened out today and managed to get in on a promo paying only $19.99 for my Digital Economy (which would actually cost me $40 bucks a month since it's my only Comcast service) for a full year. I'm awesome.
I also decided that the iPhone is like totally overrated. As a phone I mean. I like having the apps and the QWERTY keyboard and all, but I'm not so keen on the $39.99 Data Plan. So I dug out my old Samsung Sync and called up AT&T to drop that and reactivate my that phone. Now I have an 8G iPod Touch. I'm able to pick up the same Wi-Fi connection in my apartment on my phone...I mean, iTouch, but I don't know how it'll work elsewhere. Either way, I got my old Sync (with my old Halloween and Metallica ringtones) back. I also downloaded Skype and Textfree Lite.
After cleaning at the old place for about 3 hours today, I feel like a grimy ball of dust. Gonna hop into my (fabulous clawfoot) tub, before I head to nite-nite-ville.
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
What's in The Box?
If I'm not mistaken, I heard good things about The Box. This far out, I can't remember where I heard those good things which is itself a good thing because I can't remember who to smack for making me think this movie might be good.
I expected a heck of a lot more which is maybe my own fault. Firstly, I knew it was based on a short story, but I somehow missed that it was based on a science fiction short story. Perhaps knowing that might have prepared me for the Sphere-like convoluted mess I was about to see. Secondly, I had my own idea of what this movie was about based on what I THOUGHT I'd heard. More on that later. Either way, this movie was not what I expected, wanted, or needed to see.
The basic premise is someone leaves a mysterious box on the doorstep of a yuppie couple. Later, a mysterious burn victim shows up and tells the wife her family will get a million dollars if she presses the button, but someone else will die.
Now, there are many directions this movie could go in. We could have a movie about the process of this young family trying to decide whether or not to press that damn button. We could have them press the button and then feeling guilty, they attempt to try to stop the death of the other person. We could have them press it and it turns out the million is sort of a monkey's paw. I'm no writer, so I'm just speculating here. But my lousy speculations are better than what we got.
So at the start, Cameron Diaz and James Madsen (and in retrospect, I honestly do not remember their characters' names) are woken up at quarter to 6 by a ring of the doorbell. She goes down to answer, but has barely missed the person. However, a box wrapped in plain, brown paper is left on the doorstep. She looks at it all curious like, picks it up, and brings it into the house.
Now, here's the part where I was wondering what the hell. In a post-9/11 and post-anthrax scare age, it is the rare dumbass who will just grab a random box left on their doorstep and bring it inside.
Next we cut to the couple opening the box in their weirdly decorated kitchen. It has one of those built-in eat-in areas and everything is yellow and brown including some wacky-ass wall paper, a very ROUND countertop TV, and the Trimline phone on the wall. I think, "Strange set design choice, but whatevs."
Anyhoodle, inside the box is a wooden, uh, box with a button on it which is under a locked dome...thingy. There's also a card which states a Mr. Stewart will come see them at 5. The couple and their son (who I'm guessing to be about 12) speculate about what the story is with the box, then head off to work, school, whatevs.
Here's another spot where I'm scratching my head. Everyone is dressed really funny with kinda old-fashioned hair and James Marsden is driving a kick-ass old skool Corvette, but it's no big whoop. Oh, yeah, Cameron Diaz is limping.
We first follow Cameron Diaz to her job at some fancy private school. She's teaching a class and some creepy kid with godawful blown-out hair is giving her the hairy eyeball. Mid-discussion, he asks her why she limps and she just stares blankly with melty-sad face (get used to that, you'll see it A LOT), then he asks if they can see it which she proceeds to do. To their credit, his classmates are calling him out for being an asshole, but they all stare intently as she takes off her sock and boot to show she's missing four toes on her right foot. The bell rings and everyone leaves with Blow Out proudly laughing.
This made no sense to me. Cameron Diaz reacts as if NO ONE had ever asked her what happened to her foot. I'll leap ahead and say, we learn later that she's lived half her life with this condition. Are we do believe that in 17 years she hasn't encountered that question? Hell, was he the FIRST student to ever ask? Whatever, ultimately, that has nothing to do with anything really, except it does sorta. Let's move on.
Next she's called into her boss's office where she's told the faculty tuition program is being eliminated. She looks sad somemore. I wasn't sure if that meant she was losing her job or that their kid wouldn't be able to go to school for free.
Then we head over to NASA and it might have been around here that someone said something that FINALLY clued me in that this movie was taking place in the 1970s. Yeah, I should have maybe caught my snap earlier, but the fashion, hairstyles (well, except for Blow Out's) and decor is juuuust this side of retro-fabulous that it could be modern-day.
So James Marsden is at a conference where his boss is talking about a space camera which took pictures of Mars which James Marsden helped develop. Some reporter lady asks question about the NSA's involvement which causes the room to go all a-twitter. The boss says he knows nothing about that sketchy-looking NSA guy sitting in the front row of the conference. James Marsden says something about the space camera to the lady.
Then we cut to James Marsden working on a special foot for Cameron Diaz. Some coworkers ask him what happened to her foot and he explains that when she was young she had to have a foot X-ray for some reason and the doctor accidentally over-radiated her foot causing her to loose 4 toes. Her family sued and she only got $10,000 which might have been a lot of money in the 1950s. Anyway, so now we know what happened to her foot which is sorta kinda important, but not really I don't think.
Oh, this is getting far longer than it needs to be. I'm not so good with the summing up but I'm gonna try and I'm gonna try to do so without spoiling it, but that might be tough since I kinda don't know what the spoiler would be because the plot is dumb or at least it was to me.
So Frank Langella shows up at 5 and tells Cameron that she can get the million dollars if she presses the button but someone they don't know will die and they can't talk to anyone about it. And he gives her $100 just for talking to him. She and James fret over it for forever then go see a play while the kid is at home with his babysitter. They come home and fret somemore. The next day, they fret evenmore then go to work. They come home and discuss it a bit, then Cameron just slaps the button like she's on Family Feud. Frank shows up later to retrieve the box and give them the money. Meanwhile, Cameron's dad is investigating a domestic homicide where a woman was shot by her husband while their kid was locked in the bathroom. They go to her sister's rehearsal dinner at Cameron's parents' mansion (that's some salary for a cop) and Blow Out is there giving them the peace-sign and staring. Other people are also looking at them weird. Someone tells James Blow Out humiliated Cameron in class. He attacks him and blow out gets a nosebleed. Oh yeah, lots of people get nose bleeds. They leave the party and go home. James drives the baby-sitter home. She starts spouting nonsense, gets a nose bleed then passes out. He takes her to her motel, then finds out she isn't whom she claims to be. She goes into her motel and all the other guests come out and stare at her as she makes her way to her room. James and Cameron both try to find out what Frank's story is. He has her dad run Frank's license plate number, she goes to the library to find out more about him. Frank calls her and tells her he knows what they're up to because he has employees everywhere. A weird looking dude watches Cameron from her backyard while she talks to Frank on the phone. James get accosted by a bunch of weirdos at a library where he gets chased into a room with 3 water portals. Cameron wakes up at home to find James in a waterportal hover over her. The water portal breaks and James falls out and they now have a flooded house. The kid wants to know what's going on, but the script makes nosense so he's in the same boat as us. They go to her sister's wedding. James gets kidnapped at gunpoint by the guy accused of killing his wife earlier. He drives and spouts nonsense until they stop the truck because of a Santa in the middle of the road. They stare for 20 minutes then get creamed by a truck. Paramedics arrive and only find one person at the scene. Back at the wedding, The kid goes looking for his dad and Cameron goes looking for the kid. Both end up kidnapped. And also at some point sketchy-looking NSA guy took James's boss to the place where Frank was struck by lightning which killed him but didn't. Frank is apparently watching all this from his own special water portal. Anyway, NSA guy takes the kid back to the motel where the guy from the backyard walks into the pool with the kid. James gets dragged before NSA guy and his boss yells something about him making a decision that will change everything or some such. Suddenly, James and Cameron are dropped off at home where Frank is waiting for them in their kitchen. Where's their son? What happened to the million dollars? What does Frank want?
I won't spoil it even though I don't think anyone should waste their time watching this movie. I confess to not being a huge sci-fi fan, although I can enjoy a sci-fi movie or even a sci-fi story now and then. I just found this to be too convoluted for its own good. I'm not sure if something got lost from page to screen or if the short story is just this random.
I guess I had hoped for a different story. A good movie could have been made about the family pressing the button and dealing with ramifications of that choice both real and psychological. Every action has a consequence. There was some of that, but none of it really made any sense. Heck, we don't even see them spend a dime of the money. Once Frank delivers it, it's never brought up again really. All the crap about water portals and other dimensions just seemed so unnecessary, but again, this was me watching this not realizing that the story had a sci-fi base (only caught that little tip during the end credits). I just can't say I liked this movie.
And by the way, this movie had a whopping 25 minutes of freaking trailers before it started! Twenty-five minutes!!! Normally, I would have just skipped them, but (1) I was making dinner, so I wasn't in a rush for the movie to start and (2) I didn't expect there to be so damn many. Didn't help that none of the trailers were for movies I even vaguely want to see...except maybe Book of Eli.
But speaking of movies about actions having consequences, I instant-watched a little flick called Nine Dead over a couple of nights. It's the story of 9 people who are kidnapped and locked in a room by a dude in a mask. He tells them they have to figure out why they are all there or he will kill one of them every 10 minutes. The star of the movie is Melissa Joan Hart aka Sabrina the Teenaged Witch. She is a horrible actress. Everyone else in the cast is awful too. The story takes some huge leaps of logic and you have to be prepared to hear a lot of yelling, but it's a okay flick to instant watch while you're maybe trying to figure out the best way to pack your yarn for your move or analyzing what that brown-ish thing with a freezer fuzz afro is next to the ice cream.
I expected a heck of a lot more which is maybe my own fault. Firstly, I knew it was based on a short story, but I somehow missed that it was based on a science fiction short story. Perhaps knowing that might have prepared me for the Sphere-like convoluted mess I was about to see. Secondly, I had my own idea of what this movie was about based on what I THOUGHT I'd heard. More on that later. Either way, this movie was not what I expected, wanted, or needed to see.
The basic premise is someone leaves a mysterious box on the doorstep of a yuppie couple. Later, a mysterious burn victim shows up and tells the wife her family will get a million dollars if she presses the button, but someone else will die.
Now, there are many directions this movie could go in. We could have a movie about the process of this young family trying to decide whether or not to press that damn button. We could have them press the button and then feeling guilty, they attempt to try to stop the death of the other person. We could have them press it and it turns out the million is sort of a monkey's paw. I'm no writer, so I'm just speculating here. But my lousy speculations are better than what we got.
So at the start, Cameron Diaz and James Madsen (and in retrospect, I honestly do not remember their characters' names) are woken up at quarter to 6 by a ring of the doorbell. She goes down to answer, but has barely missed the person. However, a box wrapped in plain, brown paper is left on the doorstep. She looks at it all curious like, picks it up, and brings it into the house.
Now, here's the part where I was wondering what the hell. In a post-9/11 and post-anthrax scare age, it is the rare dumbass who will just grab a random box left on their doorstep and bring it inside.
Next we cut to the couple opening the box in their weirdly decorated kitchen. It has one of those built-in eat-in areas and everything is yellow and brown including some wacky-ass wall paper, a very ROUND countertop TV, and the Trimline phone on the wall. I think, "Strange set design choice, but whatevs."
Anyhoodle, inside the box is a wooden, uh, box with a button on it which is under a locked dome...thingy. There's also a card which states a Mr. Stewart will come see them at 5. The couple and their son (who I'm guessing to be about 12) speculate about what the story is with the box, then head off to work, school, whatevs.
Here's another spot where I'm scratching my head. Everyone is dressed really funny with kinda old-fashioned hair and James Marsden is driving a kick-ass old skool Corvette, but it's no big whoop. Oh, yeah, Cameron Diaz is limping.
We first follow Cameron Diaz to her job at some fancy private school. She's teaching a class and some creepy kid with godawful blown-out hair is giving her the hairy eyeball. Mid-discussion, he asks her why she limps and she just stares blankly with melty-sad face (get used to that, you'll see it A LOT), then he asks if they can see it which she proceeds to do. To their credit, his classmates are calling him out for being an asshole, but they all stare intently as she takes off her sock and boot to show she's missing four toes on her right foot. The bell rings and everyone leaves with Blow Out proudly laughing.
This made no sense to me. Cameron Diaz reacts as if NO ONE had ever asked her what happened to her foot. I'll leap ahead and say, we learn later that she's lived half her life with this condition. Are we do believe that in 17 years she hasn't encountered that question? Hell, was he the FIRST student to ever ask? Whatever, ultimately, that has nothing to do with anything really, except it does sorta. Let's move on.
Next she's called into her boss's office where she's told the faculty tuition program is being eliminated. She looks sad somemore. I wasn't sure if that meant she was losing her job or that their kid wouldn't be able to go to school for free.
Then we head over to NASA and it might have been around here that someone said something that FINALLY clued me in that this movie was taking place in the 1970s. Yeah, I should have maybe caught my snap earlier, but the fashion, hairstyles (well, except for Blow Out's) and decor is juuuust this side of retro-fabulous that it could be modern-day.
So James Marsden is at a conference where his boss is talking about a space camera which took pictures of Mars which James Marsden helped develop. Some reporter lady asks question about the NSA's involvement which causes the room to go all a-twitter. The boss says he knows nothing about that sketchy-looking NSA guy sitting in the front row of the conference. James Marsden says something about the space camera to the lady.
Then we cut to James Marsden working on a special foot for Cameron Diaz. Some coworkers ask him what happened to her foot and he explains that when she was young she had to have a foot X-ray for some reason and the doctor accidentally over-radiated her foot causing her to loose 4 toes. Her family sued and she only got $10,000 which might have been a lot of money in the 1950s. Anyway, so now we know what happened to her foot which is sorta kinda important, but not really I don't think.
Oh, this is getting far longer than it needs to be. I'm not so good with the summing up but I'm gonna try and I'm gonna try to do so without spoiling it, but that might be tough since I kinda don't know what the spoiler would be because the plot is dumb or at least it was to me.
So Frank Langella shows up at 5 and tells Cameron that she can get the million dollars if she presses the button but someone they don't know will die and they can't talk to anyone about it. And he gives her $100 just for talking to him. She and James fret over it for forever then go see a play while the kid is at home with his babysitter. They come home and fret somemore. The next day, they fret evenmore then go to work. They come home and discuss it a bit, then Cameron just slaps the button like she's on Family Feud. Frank shows up later to retrieve the box and give them the money. Meanwhile, Cameron's dad is investigating a domestic homicide where a woman was shot by her husband while their kid was locked in the bathroom. They go to her sister's rehearsal dinner at Cameron's parents' mansion (that's some salary for a cop) and Blow Out is there giving them the peace-sign and staring. Other people are also looking at them weird. Someone tells James Blow Out humiliated Cameron in class. He attacks him and blow out gets a nosebleed. Oh yeah, lots of people get nose bleeds. They leave the party and go home. James drives the baby-sitter home. She starts spouting nonsense, gets a nose bleed then passes out. He takes her to her motel, then finds out she isn't whom she claims to be. She goes into her motel and all the other guests come out and stare at her as she makes her way to her room. James and Cameron both try to find out what Frank's story is. He has her dad run Frank's license plate number, she goes to the library to find out more about him. Frank calls her and tells her he knows what they're up to because he has employees everywhere. A weird looking dude watches Cameron from her backyard while she talks to Frank on the phone. James get accosted by a bunch of weirdos at a library where he gets chased into a room with 3 water portals. Cameron wakes up at home to find James in a waterportal hover over her. The water portal breaks and James falls out and they now have a flooded house. The kid wants to know what's going on, but the script makes nosense so he's in the same boat as us. They go to her sister's wedding. James gets kidnapped at gunpoint by the guy accused of killing his wife earlier. He drives and spouts nonsense until they stop the truck because of a Santa in the middle of the road. They stare for 20 minutes then get creamed by a truck. Paramedics arrive and only find one person at the scene. Back at the wedding, The kid goes looking for his dad and Cameron goes looking for the kid. Both end up kidnapped. And also at some point sketchy-looking NSA guy took James's boss to the place where Frank was struck by lightning which killed him but didn't. Frank is apparently watching all this from his own special water portal. Anyway, NSA guy takes the kid back to the motel where the guy from the backyard walks into the pool with the kid. James gets dragged before NSA guy and his boss yells something about him making a decision that will change everything or some such. Suddenly, James and Cameron are dropped off at home where Frank is waiting for them in their kitchen. Where's their son? What happened to the million dollars? What does Frank want?
I won't spoil it even though I don't think anyone should waste their time watching this movie. I confess to not being a huge sci-fi fan, although I can enjoy a sci-fi movie or even a sci-fi story now and then. I just found this to be too convoluted for its own good. I'm not sure if something got lost from page to screen or if the short story is just this random.
I guess I had hoped for a different story. A good movie could have been made about the family pressing the button and dealing with ramifications of that choice both real and psychological. Every action has a consequence. There was some of that, but none of it really made any sense. Heck, we don't even see them spend a dime of the money. Once Frank delivers it, it's never brought up again really. All the crap about water portals and other dimensions just seemed so unnecessary, but again, this was me watching this not realizing that the story had a sci-fi base (only caught that little tip during the end credits). I just can't say I liked this movie.
And by the way, this movie had a whopping 25 minutes of freaking trailers before it started! Twenty-five minutes!!! Normally, I would have just skipped them, but (1) I was making dinner, so I wasn't in a rush for the movie to start and (2) I didn't expect there to be so damn many. Didn't help that none of the trailers were for movies I even vaguely want to see...except maybe Book of Eli.
But speaking of movies about actions having consequences, I instant-watched a little flick called Nine Dead over a couple of nights. It's the story of 9 people who are kidnapped and locked in a room by a dude in a mask. He tells them they have to figure out why they are all there or he will kill one of them every 10 minutes. The star of the movie is Melissa Joan Hart aka Sabrina the Teenaged Witch. She is a horrible actress. Everyone else in the cast is awful too. The story takes some huge leaps of logic and you have to be prepared to hear a lot of yelling, but it's a okay flick to instant watch while you're maybe trying to figure out the best way to pack your yarn for your move or analyzing what that brown-ish thing with a freezer fuzz afro is next to the ice cream.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Paranormal Cash-in
So Paranormal Activity has been a long wait on Netflix for many moons, but I noticed something called Paranormal Entity was available so I decided to give it a go. It arrived on Wednesday & since SVU didn't have any guest stars I gave a crap about (Lena Olin? really?), I popped it into the laptop as a nightcap.
This is one of them Asylum joints, quickly whipped up to cash-in on some of that PA money...and it kinda shows. The premise is amom and her two grown-ass kids are noticing, uh, paranormal activity in their home. The son decided to document the events with a series of cameras. Well, eventually, the daughter & a paranormal investigator are murdered in the house. The son is arrested for the crimes, but commits suicide while in jail. A year later, someone found the footage we are about to see. Don't worry. That will not be the first nod to Blair Witch we get.
The footage covers about 25 days in October. There's no point in going into a whole lot of detail. The entity starts out as a prankster who throw glasses form the kitchen cupboard when no one's around, turns the TV on in the middle of the night & crankcalls the house. The family sets up cameras to capture occurrences (which only happen at night apparently). In interviews, we learn that mom has been"talking" to her dead husband. We're told the entity is mostly focused on Sam, the 18-yer old sister & it's hinted that it's some kind of sexual demon, so they are pretty sure it's not Dad's ghost.
The brother walks around all the time sticking a camera in his mom's & Sam's faces. He is mostly skeptical of the ghost theory. Eventually, the entity steps up his game and goes from prankster to mean bully & psychological predator. He knocks over Dad's urn and walks through the ashes. He then leaves ashy footprints on the ceiling of the house. He also continuously knocks a cross that hangs over Sam's bed off the wall & yanks the covers off her while she sleeps. At one point, the entity makes mom write Maron on a piece of paper while she's sleepwalking.
All this time, the family is trying to reach this doctor who is apparently some sort of paranormal investigator, but he's on vacation. Eventually the brother (who is played by the director or writer or cameraman or something) sends Mom & Sam to a hotel while he tries to capture some of what's going on in the house. He goes all MacGuyver, placing bells on fishing line around the house. When a belll rings, he goes to investigate and gets scared by a moving chair. Then Mom & Sam call to say the entity has followed them to the hotel, so he orders them home.
I'm going on llonger than I'd planned about this movie. It wasn't very good. The acting was pretty bad with horrible ad libbing and it had a creepy vibe, but for the reasons they wanted. The brother's attention to his sister is a bit...unhealthy. On more than one occasion, he comes across her half-dressed or undressed & doesn't turn the damn camera off. Nevermind the scene where she's attacked in the bathtub.
I had heard of Asylum and its ilk before, but I'd never seen one. I can see how these might be fun to mock if you've seenthe movie they're ripping off. I just hope having seen this mess first, it won't wreck the real thing for me.
This is one of them Asylum joints, quickly whipped up to cash-in on some of that PA money...and it kinda shows. The premise is amom and her two grown-ass kids are noticing, uh, paranormal activity in their home. The son decided to document the events with a series of cameras. Well, eventually, the daughter & a paranormal investigator are murdered in the house. The son is arrested for the crimes, but commits suicide while in jail. A year later, someone found the footage we are about to see. Don't worry. That will not be the first nod to Blair Witch we get.
The footage covers about 25 days in October. There's no point in going into a whole lot of detail. The entity starts out as a prankster who throw glasses form the kitchen cupboard when no one's around, turns the TV on in the middle of the night & crankcalls the house. The family sets up cameras to capture occurrences (which only happen at night apparently). In interviews, we learn that mom has been"talking" to her dead husband. We're told the entity is mostly focused on Sam, the 18-yer old sister & it's hinted that it's some kind of sexual demon, so they are pretty sure it's not Dad's ghost.
The brother walks around all the time sticking a camera in his mom's & Sam's faces. He is mostly skeptical of the ghost theory. Eventually, the entity steps up his game and goes from prankster to mean bully & psychological predator. He knocks over Dad's urn and walks through the ashes. He then leaves ashy footprints on the ceiling of the house. He also continuously knocks a cross that hangs over Sam's bed off the wall & yanks the covers off her while she sleeps. At one point, the entity makes mom write Maron on a piece of paper while she's sleepwalking.
All this time, the family is trying to reach this doctor who is apparently some sort of paranormal investigator, but he's on vacation. Eventually the brother (who is played by the director or writer or cameraman or something) sends Mom & Sam to a hotel while he tries to capture some of what's going on in the house. He goes all MacGuyver, placing bells on fishing line around the house. When a belll rings, he goes to investigate and gets scared by a moving chair. Then Mom & Sam call to say the entity has followed them to the hotel, so he orders them home.
I'm going on llonger than I'd planned about this movie. It wasn't very good. The acting was pretty bad with horrible ad libbing and it had a creepy vibe, but for the reasons they wanted. The brother's attention to his sister is a bit...unhealthy. On more than one occasion, he comes across her half-dressed or undressed & doesn't turn the damn camera off. Nevermind the scene where she's attacked in the bathtub.
I had heard of Asylum and its ilk before, but I'd never seen one. I can see how these might be fun to mock if you've seenthe movie they're ripping off. I just hope having seen this mess first, it won't wreck the real thing for me.
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Hair! Hair! Long, beautiful hair!
Things I want to punch in the face: Things I Want to Punch in the Face.
While I find many of the posts on this blog funny, this one really struck a nerve. Part of the reason it hit me is because the tabloids of late have been having a field day talking about how Angelina Jolie is turning her daughter Shiloh into a lesbian because she lets her dress like a "tomboy" and recently cut her hair short. Heavenforfend a little girl not have pigtails and wear pink frilly dresses everywhere.
The other part is the notion of some stranger having such a vested interest in the gender/identity of someone else's child. The writer SHOULD be embarrassed by her need to actually inquire about the name of this man's child, but decides that Dave Matthews committed the faux pas by allowing his son to have a "feminine" feature. That's none of her damn business! In this day and age, I don't understand why more people don't realize that YOU ARE A STRANGER. You may know you're just a cozy old auntie at heart who just ADORES the babies (like me), but in reality, you are someone with no connection to that child and therefore, no RIGHT to any information about her/him. Her saving grace is that she actually addressed the child's parent and not the child directly, but she loses points because she asked for his name (well, she asked for HER name) which is plain creepy. Don't we now teach that parents/guardians shouldn't have kids' names on clothing & backpacks so that STRANGERS can't trick them into thinking they aren't STRANGERS. Getting the info in front of the parent would be a neat way for a pedophile to make a child think he or she is a-okay when he or she accosts said-child later. (Or maybe I just watch too much true crime shit.)
And of course, she loses more points because when corrected, she pretended understanding , but then ran off and wrote a mean blog post about how Mr. Matthews' decision to let his son wear his hair long does not work within her social norms.
I don't know what to make of the "girly hoodie" comment. On the one hand, STFU, Dave Matthews. On the other hand, her comment about how "evolved" the kid was smack of a bit of hypocrisy. Cool that he's allowed to wear "girly" clothes, but only if she can see that he's a boy wearing "girly" clothes? WTH?
I posted a link in my comment to a Jezebel post about the Shiloh brouhaha, but none of the other commenters seem to give a crap. Many of them seem to agree that parents who let their boys wear long hair should "just deal with it" or freaking conform for chrissake!
While I find many of the posts on this blog funny, this one really struck a nerve. Part of the reason it hit me is because the tabloids of late have been having a field day talking about how Angelina Jolie is turning her daughter Shiloh into a lesbian because she lets her dress like a "tomboy" and recently cut her hair short. Heavenforfend a little girl not have pigtails and wear pink frilly dresses everywhere.
The other part is the notion of some stranger having such a vested interest in the gender/identity of someone else's child. The writer SHOULD be embarrassed by her need to actually inquire about the name of this man's child, but decides that Dave Matthews committed the faux pas by allowing his son to have a "feminine" feature. That's none of her damn business! In this day and age, I don't understand why more people don't realize that YOU ARE A STRANGER. You may know you're just a cozy old auntie at heart who just ADORES the babies (like me), but in reality, you are someone with no connection to that child and therefore, no RIGHT to any information about her/him. Her saving grace is that she actually addressed the child's parent and not the child directly, but she loses points because she asked for his name (well, she asked for HER name) which is plain creepy. Don't we now teach that parents/guardians shouldn't have kids' names on clothing & backpacks so that STRANGERS can't trick them into thinking they aren't STRANGERS. Getting the info in front of the parent would be a neat way for a pedophile to make a child think he or she is a-okay when he or she accosts said-child later. (Or maybe I just watch too much true crime shit.)
And of course, she loses more points because when corrected, she pretended understanding , but then ran off and wrote a mean blog post about how Mr. Matthews' decision to let his son wear his hair long does not work within her social norms.
I don't know what to make of the "girly hoodie" comment. On the one hand, STFU, Dave Matthews. On the other hand, her comment about how "evolved" the kid was smack of a bit of hypocrisy. Cool that he's allowed to wear "girly" clothes, but only if she can see that he's a boy wearing "girly" clothes? WTH?
I posted a link in my comment to a Jezebel post about the Shiloh brouhaha, but none of the other commenters seem to give a crap. Many of them seem to agree that parents who let their boys wear long hair should "just deal with it" or freaking conform for chrissake!
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Apartment Search: The Ending (?)
I'm pooped. Tuckered out. I've been up and at 'em since 7 this morning. Got up and did five loads of laundry first thing in the morning. While I waited for that to get done, I went through stuff in my closet to see what I can donate. I'm not even close to done with that. I have a LOT of stuff I know I will never squeeze my hind end into again. I found stuff that still have tags on them! I got all tired doing that and hauling laundry up and down stairs, so now there's a pile of clothes on my bed that I'll have to put somewhere so I can go to bed later.
Afterwards, I went and got some chow then headed over to JAS for their apartment tour. We started as she stated promptly at 2. We saw 12 apartments. Some of them were really nice, including a sweet 1 bedroom in the building I used to live in. This was on the 2nd floor and had GORGEOUS exposed brick walls and dark wood trim. The kitchen was nice, but it had built-ins. The bathroom was AMAZING with the brick and clawfoot tub and pedestal sink. That place was $665. In fact, most of the stuff within my price range were studios which, no. We did see a 1 bedroom which happens to be across the street from the Stevens apartment I love (we'll get to that in a minute). It was small-ish but nice and it was $595. It had an open, step up kitchen with a breakfast bar and okay cabinet space. The bathroom was long and narrow, but it had the tub I want and it served it's purpose. Two good closets and the bedroom was workable.
The studios we saw were nice, including one at 20th & Nicollet which had stainless steel appliances and dark wood trim with a huge closet and cute remodeled bathroom, but again, it was a studio AND it was carpeted even though we could tell there were hardwoods underneath. What a waste.
After that, I met with Jaimin at Stevens Community again to look at the one I loved. She and her coworker told me that another couple had viewed it and were seriously considering it. That may have just been a sales tactic, but it worked because I said, "I want it." So I put in an app and a holding fee and she and I went to look at it again so I could take a few more pictures and make sure that I still loved it (I do!) and now I just have to wait and see if they like me enough to overlook a few minor glitches in my credit/rental history. My fingers are crossed because I really like this place.
I'm hoping to move Mid-April. I don't have to, but I always prefer having extra time to move then come back and clean the old place. Plus everybody and their mama will be trying to get a truck for May 1st. Only a few of us will want one for April 17 (mark your calendars, my moving friends...you know who you are).
So the waiting game begins. Now, I'm gonna will myself to find a place for all the crap on my bed.
Afterwards, I went and got some chow then headed over to JAS for their apartment tour. We started as she stated promptly at 2. We saw 12 apartments. Some of them were really nice, including a sweet 1 bedroom in the building I used to live in. This was on the 2nd floor and had GORGEOUS exposed brick walls and dark wood trim. The kitchen was nice, but it had built-ins. The bathroom was AMAZING with the brick and clawfoot tub and pedestal sink. That place was $665. In fact, most of the stuff within my price range were studios which, no. We did see a 1 bedroom which happens to be across the street from the Stevens apartment I love (we'll get to that in a minute). It was small-ish but nice and it was $595. It had an open, step up kitchen with a breakfast bar and okay cabinet space. The bathroom was long and narrow, but it had the tub I want and it served it's purpose. Two good closets and the bedroom was workable.
The studios we saw were nice, including one at 20th & Nicollet which had stainless steel appliances and dark wood trim with a huge closet and cute remodeled bathroom, but again, it was a studio AND it was carpeted even though we could tell there were hardwoods underneath. What a waste.
After that, I met with Jaimin at Stevens Community again to look at the one I loved. She and her coworker told me that another couple had viewed it and were seriously considering it. That may have just been a sales tactic, but it worked because I said, "I want it." So I put in an app and a holding fee and she and I went to look at it again so I could take a few more pictures and make sure that I still loved it (I do!) and now I just have to wait and see if they like me enough to overlook a few minor glitches in my credit/rental history. My fingers are crossed because I really like this place.
I'm hoping to move Mid-April. I don't have to, but I always prefer having extra time to move then come back and clean the old place. Plus everybody and their mama will be trying to get a truck for May 1st. Only a few of us will want one for April 17 (mark your calendars, my moving friends...you know who you are).
So the waiting game begins. Now, I'm gonna will myself to find a place for all the crap on my bed.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Apartment Search: The Beginning
(Everything typed above “Later details” is directly from my iPhone Notes, typed as I was out and about searching. “Later details” was done after I got home.)
Just saw a surprisingly nice carpeted garden level 1 bd @ 14 Oak Grove. It's called a 1+ because there are actually 3 rooms. The kitchen is kinda small with a little-ish fridge & an apt-size stove, but it's open and has a breakfast bar with lots of storage space under it. The living room has a built-in bookshelf and could handle my couch & table okay. There’s also a decorative radiator cover (she said something about the radiators not working down there?) which would work well as a TV stand, esp. since the cable hook up is right next to it. The next room is technically the bedroom because it has the largest window and a (large) closet, but it also has the bathroom (w/clawfoot tub!), so it'd be better suited as an office. Excellent for my computer, desk, bookshelves, yarn stash etc. Finally, there's a back room with a small window, but a huge closet. That room could easily handle my bed & little dresser and telly. Other notables: 1 more closet (next to front door), right across from the laundry room, free laundry, only unit on that level, extra storage, bars on front windows, other windows in a secure area, one month free w/12mo lease, flexible move-in. It's $620 which isn't bad. The ceilings are kinda low and while the bars might be nice, garden level still creeps me the heck out.
Ann (that was her name...and I can also speak with Diane w/questions) also showed me a couple top floor 1 bds w/hwd flrs. They were more expensive and smaller than the garden level. One is getting a similar kitchen remodel, but it was $660 & it gets a lot of freeway noise.
Now, I'm off to showing #2.
Showing #2 was awkward because there was another couple along for the view. I saw about 5 units in 3 bldgs, but I'm kinda mixing up units & bldgs at this point. The first was a studio on 15th & Spruce. It had nice dark wood trim, a Murphy bed (do not want, but it’s a kitschy feature), a smallish, but cute kitchen with built-ins & shelves, avg bath w/soaking tub, two closets & built-in linen storage. Nice, but still a studio.
I think we also looked at a 1 bd in that building, before heading to 215 W 15th, but I'm not sure. I do recall the 1 bd rooms having kitchens similar to the studio’s with built-ins & shelves. The fridges were in a little nook of the kitchen, kinda like my place at 203 19th. They had small closets, no ceiling fans, one had painted wood trim (boo). The one with unpainted trim was kinda dark, but it had a ceiling light in the living room. Also, the climb to the top floor which is where the painted trim one was was steep. Not so hot for moving long objects like queen mattresses, couches & bookshelves. Dark trim was on the 1st floor. Meh.
We then saw an apartment on the 2nd floor of 14th & Spruce. Very similar to the ones across the street, but the bathroom was in the bedroom of this on which always weirds me out since some folks are nosy. Not that I ever have people over, but it could happen. Also, he said there is concrete between the floors so less noise from neighbors. After that lead-footed a-hole above me at 18th & 1st, I’m weary of people above me on hardwoods. Some folks are thoughtless.
So those are contenders. I've been dodging dogshit for about 1 1/2 hours while waiting to meet with Stevens Community at 2:15. It's 2:05. Close enough my thumbs are cold.
Dammit! I might be in love. Running late. Details later.
Later details:
Since I had finished with The Park Apartments at like 11:45, I decided to try out the new Chinese/Indian buffet place across from Ping’s. It was decent, but I’ll stick to Richfield, thanks.
I was unable to find a City Pages or Onion on my way in, so I decided to check out Craigslist stuff on my phone to see if I might schedule more viewings while in the neighborhood. I left a message for the Gladstone, then decided to check out Stevens Community. The next time they could fit me in was 2:15, so I finished eating and wandered around Stevens for about an hour.
Jaimin was super nice and very fun to view apartments with. She only showed me two places, but she got a good read on what I was looking for. The first place was a 1 bedroom in the Blackstone building which is on the corner of 18th & 1st. Someone actually put in an application for that one after we came back from viewing the second place, so I won’t go on about that one. It was a really good size and pretty nice at $580. It had a dining room with wood wainscoting (I think that’s what it’s called.
Anyway, the next place she showed me was at 1800 – 3rd Ave S. It was on the top floor and I believe it was a corner unit. It was SUPER cute and I kind want to take it to the zoo and buy it ice cream. The living room is perfectly sized with good sized closet, lots of outlets, a ceiling fan, and cable/internet connection. Dark wood trim unpainted is a nice touch. Next is the kitchen which, although small, is A KITCHEN! There are cabinets up the wazoo and counterspace. I don’t even know what’s that’s like because I’ve never had it in an apartment I’ve lived in. The only problem I have with it is the stove (apartment sized—not one of the places I saw today had a regular sized stove) was electric. I really want a gas stove. Jaimin suggested I might be able to have them change it out, but I’m not sure how easy that is. Not a total deal breaker, but one of the few cons this apartment had.
Across the hall from the kitchen is a built-in armoire. Extra storage is always a plus. Next to the kitchen is the bath which has a modern sink with storage underneath, but I still get my soaking tub. Finally, the bedroom which would fit my queen and chest of drawers just fine. The closet could totally handle my clothes (especially if I give away/sell some of them) and I might even still be able to keep my shoes in their individual boxes as I like to do. (Although I do get that putting them into a couple plastic bins would save time and energy during the move.)
I loved Loved LOVED everything about that apartment (well, except that stupid stove). It’s on the higher end of my price range at $615 (I’d really like to stay under $625, $650 if it’s REALLY nice), but it’s so worth it, especially considering what I’m paying $675 (and what they will be charging $690) for now and considering everything else I saw today.
Even though I was hella tempted to put in an application (and did I mention how awesome Jaimin was? She was the most personable of all 4 of the folks who showed me apartments today). I did already have that appointment with Mint Properties and being impulsive has gotten me into apartment hell before, so I didn’t do it. (That doesn’t mean I might not call her tomorrow after my JAS tour.)
So I met Mint Properties guy at a sketchy ass building on 21st & 3rd. I’m no snob…well, actually, I kinda am…whatever. There was some strange old man standing in front of the building and I wondered at first if he was the person who was gonna show me places. Then some thuggish looking character came out and started trying to chat me up. Apartment Guy must have been waiting in his truck for me because he walked up almost right away (thankfully).
The places in this building were okay, but the kitchens were downright dinky. It’s like when building the place, they almost forgot they needed a place for a stove and a fridge and sink, so they knocked out a wall to stick those in. The floors weren’t even real hard wood. Those were pretty much a no from jumpstreet with the sketchy thug and the high price of $640.
Next he took me down the street to a place also on 18th & 3rd. This one was at the top of my price range at $650. It was on the second floor, but it was probably the biggest one I saw. The living room was HUGE. The current tenant has a couch and two chairs as well as a freakin’ dining room table in there along with her telly and other accoutrement. Next was a kitchen that beats the Stevens Community one. Lots of cabinets and decent counter space plus a GAS (apt-sized) stove. The fridge is tucked into a cubby across the hall where there is a built-in armoire next to the cute little bath with its soaking tub. There’re even storage shelves by the tub for towels, soap, etc. The bedroom is almost as big as my current one as was its closet. (There was also a closet in the living room. And there are ceiling fans in both the bedroom and the kitchen. I remember watching house hunting shows back in the day and people hated having ceiling fans in the bed room. With no a/c, I’m all for it. I hate being hot.
Tenants also get a free storage locker in the basement and there’s a place to lock one’s bike in the laundry room. The Stevens storage lockers were extra per month (can’t remember how much), but I don’t necessarily have to have one.
So I’m totally trying not to swoon over the Stevens place. It’s tough because I thought it was just that awesome. JAS, my landlords for that sweet exposed-brick unit I lived in the 1st time I moved to the Stevens neighborhood (and where Rev. Winter was my neighbor), is doing an Open House tour tomorrow showing studios and 1 bedrooms in their various buildings. I’ll see what they’re offering, but I may end up giving Jaimin a call tomorrow after (SC is open 10 – 6 Mon thru Sun) and putting in an app. I really really really loved Loved LOVED that apartment.
Must calm down. Breathe. Don’t be impulsive. I never even heard back from Gladstone or Hornig. And you know they’ve condo-ized the old building Rebecca & I used to live in (and Heide’s old building where the old guy lay dead for a couple weeks and the only response to complaints about a strange odor was car air fresheners placed in the hallways). All the granite counter tops in the world wouldn’t make BUY in that neighborhood.
So that’s day 1 of the apartment search. I already want this to be over.
Just saw a surprisingly nice carpeted garden level 1 bd @ 14 Oak Grove. It's called a 1+ because there are actually 3 rooms. The kitchen is kinda small with a little-ish fridge & an apt-size stove, but it's open and has a breakfast bar with lots of storage space under it. The living room has a built-in bookshelf and could handle my couch & table okay. There’s also a decorative radiator cover (she said something about the radiators not working down there?) which would work well as a TV stand, esp. since the cable hook up is right next to it. The next room is technically the bedroom because it has the largest window and a (large) closet, but it also has the bathroom (w/clawfoot tub!), so it'd be better suited as an office. Excellent for my computer, desk, bookshelves, yarn stash etc. Finally, there's a back room with a small window, but a huge closet. That room could easily handle my bed & little dresser and telly. Other notables: 1 more closet (next to front door), right across from the laundry room, free laundry, only unit on that level, extra storage, bars on front windows, other windows in a secure area, one month free w/12mo lease, flexible move-in. It's $620 which isn't bad. The ceilings are kinda low and while the bars might be nice, garden level still creeps me the heck out.
Ann (that was her name...and I can also speak with Diane w/questions) also showed me a couple top floor 1 bds w/hwd flrs. They were more expensive and smaller than the garden level. One is getting a similar kitchen remodel, but it was $660 & it gets a lot of freeway noise.
Now, I'm off to showing #2.
Showing #2 was awkward because there was another couple along for the view. I saw about 5 units in 3 bldgs, but I'm kinda mixing up units & bldgs at this point. The first was a studio on 15th & Spruce. It had nice dark wood trim, a Murphy bed (do not want, but it’s a kitschy feature), a smallish, but cute kitchen with built-ins & shelves, avg bath w/soaking tub, two closets & built-in linen storage. Nice, but still a studio.
I think we also looked at a 1 bd in that building, before heading to 215 W 15th, but I'm not sure. I do recall the 1 bd rooms having kitchens similar to the studio’s with built-ins & shelves. The fridges were in a little nook of the kitchen, kinda like my place at 203 19th. They had small closets, no ceiling fans, one had painted wood trim (boo). The one with unpainted trim was kinda dark, but it had a ceiling light in the living room. Also, the climb to the top floor which is where the painted trim one was was steep. Not so hot for moving long objects like queen mattresses, couches & bookshelves. Dark trim was on the 1st floor. Meh.
We then saw an apartment on the 2nd floor of 14th & Spruce. Very similar to the ones across the street, but the bathroom was in the bedroom of this on which always weirds me out since some folks are nosy. Not that I ever have people over, but it could happen. Also, he said there is concrete between the floors so less noise from neighbors. After that lead-footed a-hole above me at 18th & 1st, I’m weary of people above me on hardwoods. Some folks are thoughtless.
So those are contenders. I've been dodging dogshit for about 1 1/2 hours while waiting to meet with Stevens Community at 2:15. It's 2:05. Close enough my thumbs are cold.
Dammit! I might be in love. Running late. Details later.
Later details:
Since I had finished with The Park Apartments at like 11:45, I decided to try out the new Chinese/Indian buffet place across from Ping’s. It was decent, but I’ll stick to Richfield, thanks.
I was unable to find a City Pages or Onion on my way in, so I decided to check out Craigslist stuff on my phone to see if I might schedule more viewings while in the neighborhood. I left a message for the Gladstone, then decided to check out Stevens Community. The next time they could fit me in was 2:15, so I finished eating and wandered around Stevens for about an hour.
Jaimin was super nice and very fun to view apartments with. She only showed me two places, but she got a good read on what I was looking for. The first place was a 1 bedroom in the Blackstone building which is on the corner of 18th & 1st. Someone actually put in an application for that one after we came back from viewing the second place, so I won’t go on about that one. It was a really good size and pretty nice at $580. It had a dining room with wood wainscoting (I think that’s what it’s called.
Anyway, the next place she showed me was at 1800 – 3rd Ave S. It was on the top floor and I believe it was a corner unit. It was SUPER cute and I kind want to take it to the zoo and buy it ice cream. The living room is perfectly sized with good sized closet, lots of outlets, a ceiling fan, and cable/internet connection. Dark wood trim unpainted is a nice touch. Next is the kitchen which, although small, is A KITCHEN! There are cabinets up the wazoo and counterspace. I don’t even know what’s that’s like because I’ve never had it in an apartment I’ve lived in. The only problem I have with it is the stove (apartment sized—not one of the places I saw today had a regular sized stove) was electric. I really want a gas stove. Jaimin suggested I might be able to have them change it out, but I’m not sure how easy that is. Not a total deal breaker, but one of the few cons this apartment had.
Across the hall from the kitchen is a built-in armoire. Extra storage is always a plus. Next to the kitchen is the bath which has a modern sink with storage underneath, but I still get my soaking tub. Finally, the bedroom which would fit my queen and chest of drawers just fine. The closet could totally handle my clothes (especially if I give away/sell some of them) and I might even still be able to keep my shoes in their individual boxes as I like to do. (Although I do get that putting them into a couple plastic bins would save time and energy during the move.)
I loved Loved LOVED everything about that apartment (well, except that stupid stove). It’s on the higher end of my price range at $615 (I’d really like to stay under $625, $650 if it’s REALLY nice), but it’s so worth it, especially considering what I’m paying $675 (and what they will be charging $690) for now and considering everything else I saw today.
Even though I was hella tempted to put in an application (and did I mention how awesome Jaimin was? She was the most personable of all 4 of the folks who showed me apartments today). I did already have that appointment with Mint Properties and being impulsive has gotten me into apartment hell before, so I didn’t do it. (That doesn’t mean I might not call her tomorrow after my JAS tour.)
So I met Mint Properties guy at a sketchy ass building on 21st & 3rd. I’m no snob…well, actually, I kinda am…whatever. There was some strange old man standing in front of the building and I wondered at first if he was the person who was gonna show me places. Then some thuggish looking character came out and started trying to chat me up. Apartment Guy must have been waiting in his truck for me because he walked up almost right away (thankfully).
The places in this building were okay, but the kitchens were downright dinky. It’s like when building the place, they almost forgot they needed a place for a stove and a fridge and sink, so they knocked out a wall to stick those in. The floors weren’t even real hard wood. Those were pretty much a no from jumpstreet with the sketchy thug and the high price of $640.
Next he took me down the street to a place also on 18th & 3rd. This one was at the top of my price range at $650. It was on the second floor, but it was probably the biggest one I saw. The living room was HUGE. The current tenant has a couch and two chairs as well as a freakin’ dining room table in there along with her telly and other accoutrement. Next was a kitchen that beats the Stevens Community one. Lots of cabinets and decent counter space plus a GAS (apt-sized) stove. The fridge is tucked into a cubby across the hall where there is a built-in armoire next to the cute little bath with its soaking tub. There’re even storage shelves by the tub for towels, soap, etc. The bedroom is almost as big as my current one as was its closet. (There was also a closet in the living room. And there are ceiling fans in both the bedroom and the kitchen. I remember watching house hunting shows back in the day and people hated having ceiling fans in the bed room. With no a/c, I’m all for it. I hate being hot.
Tenants also get a free storage locker in the basement and there’s a place to lock one’s bike in the laundry room. The Stevens storage lockers were extra per month (can’t remember how much), but I don’t necessarily have to have one.
So I’m totally trying not to swoon over the Stevens place. It’s tough because I thought it was just that awesome. JAS, my landlords for that sweet exposed-brick unit I lived in the 1st time I moved to the Stevens neighborhood (and where Rev. Winter was my neighbor), is doing an Open House tour tomorrow showing studios and 1 bedrooms in their various buildings. I’ll see what they’re offering, but I may end up giving Jaimin a call tomorrow after (SC is open 10 – 6 Mon thru Sun) and putting in an app. I really really really loved Loved LOVED that apartment.
Must calm down. Breathe. Don’t be impulsive. I never even heard back from Gladstone or Hornig. And you know they’ve condo-ized the old building Rebecca & I used to live in (and Heide’s old building where the old guy lay dead for a couple weeks and the only response to complaints about a strange odor was car air fresheners placed in the hallways). All the granite counter tops in the world wouldn’t make BUY in that neighborhood.
So that’s day 1 of the apartment search. I already want this to be over.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
SVU: Beecher/Keller Forever Edition
Last night, fans of "Oz" got what they've been waiting for for over 7 years: a Beecher/Keller reunion on SVU. Was it worth it? Did it reach Oz-levels of homoeroticism? I'll let you know in a minute.
We got two episodes of the show last night now that Leno is no longer fouling up the 9 p. m. time slot. The first hour featured special guest star Kathy Griffin chomping up the scenery as some obnoxious lesbian activist who secretly loves men or some shit. I don't know. I came in at the half hour mark & I hate Kathy Griffin, but I did see that NBC chose to cut the not-so-hyped lesbian lip lock. Hmmm....
Having lost much interest in the show over the last few seasons, I wasn't even gonna watch the 2nd episode. The ballyhooing of special guest star Mischa Barton wasn't winning the show any points. However, what the hell else is on at that hour on a Wednesday?
The episode starts with a woman dressed like a hooker strolling down the street and being holla'ed at by some dude. I think he's offering to be her pimp. She blows him off and approaches some shadowy dude in a car. We next cut to her beaten and strangled corpse being looked at by the Dynamic Duo. They find a prayer card next to the body. Liv notes that another pro was killed in a similar manner and the same kind of card was left at that crime scene previously. Puzzled faces, credits, then commercials.
When we comeback, the squad is going over the evidence. It's here that I squealed with glee when I saw Lee Tergesen's name. Either you loved "Oz" and know exactly why that is fabulous or you don't give a shit, so I won't spend time telling you about the saga of Beecher & Keller.
(If you insist on knowing, go to Television Without Pity and read their "Oz" recaps, particularly starting with season 2.
Anyhoodle, I might have been lost in memories of hot man-on-man love (or running my bath), so I don't know exactly how we get to our red herring. (The dead hooker might have had a friend who knew Red Herring was a client.). The guy is some rich douche whose wife tried to break him of his past hooker habit through religious shaming. Hubby had a tough time with it & started asking wifey for some special favors. She was having none of it and I don't want to say SVU seemed to be excusing philandering with hookers by blaming prudish wives ("The mouth is not a proper receptacle for the seed") but I just said it, so there's that.
Since we haven't seen Ms. Barton yet & it's only about 20 minutes into the episode, you won't be surprised that Elliot's own shaming session with Red the Herring gets interrupted by news of another attack, but this time the victim is alive.
Do you know who that victim is? Do ya? Do ya? You can have an Oreo if you said Mischa Barton. She's sitting in an ambulance sort of refusing treatment while a bunch of other hookers yell at her not to tell the cops about almost being killed. Suddenly, a TV pimp shows up in the crowd and urges Mischa (hooker name: Sunshine) to keep her mouth shut. The detectives can't resist the urge to get in someone's face and act all badass, so while they're distracted threatening the pimp, Sunshine manages to hop into a car & flee the scene.
Back at the squad, research finds Sunshine (real name: Gladys) & her sad story in the system. Seems she was born to a drug addict and ended up in and out of foster care til she aged out. She's been being busted for hooking since she was 12 yeas old. Sad.
Our Duo track her to an aunt's house. Liv goes to harass Gladys about talking to them about her assault which is a common enough trope on this show, but I'm quite certain doesn't happen to rape victims too often in real life. At least, I hope not.
Liv sneers at the fact Gladys' aunt has only provided her niece an old couch in the corner of her daughters' bedroom on which to sleep. Crazily, Gladys is grateful to have a place to stay. How stupid is she, right?
Liv tries the empathy route, telling Gladys how she knows she was lured into prostitution by that smooth talking skeezeball pimp (who had a ridiculous TV pimp name like Silky or something, but I can’t remember what it was. Update: upon rewatching I learned the pimp's ridiculous name is Marmalade), claiming he wanted to show her a better life. Gladys breaks down and tells Liv about how he pretended to love her, then made her have sex with his friends, then told her she might as well get paid for it and suddenly she was a hooker…at 12! Gross.
Meanwhile, Elliot is in the kitchen insulting the hell out of Gladys' aunt. He accuses her of pimping Gladys out to help support her and her kids. Auntie, who has MS, basically tells him to go fuck himself. She says she took in her sister's kid despite her own difficulties & she don't have time for his accusatory bullshit.
I might have been turning off my bath water or heating up a Banquet frozen dinner because I can’t remember how we got to our next perp. Oh wait. I believe Liv’s guilt trip works on Gladys. She tells them that the john seemed all normal and nice, but them he got weird and asked if she was ready to meet her father. Then he started to strangle her. She passed out and came to with the cops there. She also mentions another pro who had an encounter with the murderous john.
They head to a diner to meet this other YOUNG lady who is about to tell them her story when Marmalade walks in. She tells her friend to wait for her outside while she goes to pay and the Dynamic Duo get in Marmalade's face once again. Before she leaves, Elliot hands her his card and she lays a napkin on the table and tells him to call her if he wants a good time because she loooooves cops. They pick up the napkin upon which the pro has drawn an AMAZING sketch of the perp. I suppose she did that at the register while she was paying. She needs to get off the streets and go to art school because she's kinda awesome.
I think they decided to do a sting to try to catch him. Alls I know is that the detectives end up at a scene where a young prostitute is struggling with some dude in a car. Elliot yanks the guy out and IT’S BEECHER!!! And I was super happy they were actually in a scene together because I was so sure that when Lee Tergesen finally did show up on SVU (after having appeared on both the other Law & Order incarnations…Trial by Jury does not count), the writers would be mean to us “Oz” fans and not give them any scenes together.
Anyway, Liv pulls the girl from the other side of the car and she tells them that Beecher asked her if she was ready to meet her father (*ding*) and started choking her, so she cut him. Beecher claims she attacked him, but Elliot presses him against the car, whisper-sneers something vaguely menacing in his ear, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Wow! That last part sounded like it could have been a scene from “Oz”.
Now, Elliot is questioning Beecher at the station. Beecher says he’s a minister who only wants to save the hookers from their lives of sin. He claims he didn’t kill them, only tried to talk to them about their evil, whorish ways. Elliot shows him the dead girls’ pictures and Beecher says he didn’t kill them, but whoever did sent them to heaven, so he really did them a favor.
Elliot decides to use Beecher’s religious zealotry to his advantage. He starts going on about confession and gets all handsy. Beecher grabs Elliot's arm and starts reciting some Bible prayer (I’m a heathen who was too caught up in the hoyay to pay attention to which one) and Beecher stands up. Now, he and Elliot stand face-to-face with their hands on each other’s shoulders, almost embracing. Then they touch their foreheads together while finishing the prayer and it almost looks like they are gonna kiss and I was totally giddy because that was such a freakin’ shout-out and I think I fell in love with SVU again. (It doesn’t hurt that Stephanie March appears to have returned to the show.) They finish the prayer and Beecher rejects Keller…I mean, Elliot’s advances by saying he won’t be confessing to him today.
*Sigh* I need a cold drink.
So now Liv has convinced Gladys to i.d. Beecher in a line-up. In the room with her and the detectives and ADA Cabott is Beecher’s lawyer (played by “The Wire” alum, Delaney Williams). The lawyer starts playing mind-games with Gladys telling her the cops will arrest her for prostitution because by identifying Beecher she is admitting to being a hooker. Or something.
The cops tell him to shut it and encourage Gladys to make her i.d. They have the line-up dudes say the line about meeting your father. Beecher is 3rd in line and he’s giving Gladys the evil eye. Gladys is wondering why he’s acting like he can see her. The cops reassure her and tell Beecher to say the line. Instead, he goes totally religious wackadoo and starts stalking towards the glass. Gladys freaks and says, “That’s him” and runs out of the room and into a stairwell. Liv goes after her just in time to see Gladys go tumbling down the stairs. Liv screams for a bus (SVU speak for an ambulance) and goes to Gladys’ aid. It’s now that Liv and the audience see that Gladys, who has shown a fondness for big clothes, is a little pregnant. Ruh-roh.
(I’m not so good at condensing these recaps.)
So now, Gladys is at the hospital and the Dynamic Duo are talking to her doctor who tells them Gladys and the baby are fine for now. They ask if they can talk to Gladys and try the old "she's our only witness in a murder investigation". The Doc is all she and her baby are still alive and I plan to keep them that way and then he awesomely saunters right out of the room without glancing back. Why the hell don’t more people do that on this show (and the other L&Os as well)? Most times, the minute the detectives mention getting a warrant people are ready to hand over their first born.
Gladys is telling the detectives that she’s gonna change her life now. She’s gonna stop hooking, so that she can take care of herself and her baby the right way. Liv and Elliot start badgering her to give her baby up for adoption, but Gladys is having none of it. Gladys’ aunt shows up and freaks out upon learning about the pregnancy. Elliot decides to beat up on Gladys’ aunt some more. Again, he accuses her of essentially pimping Gladys and contributing to Gladys’ situation. She tells him to piss off and kicks them out of Gladys’ hospital room.
The next day (?) Alex goes to court to get Beecher held over for trial. His lawyer argues that the i.d. should be thrown out because Gladys didn’t really i.d. his client. Alex points out that Gladys flipped because of his client’s antics. The judge sides with Alex and Beecher is remanded without bail.
Back at the station, Alex explains to Liv that they’ll need Gladys to testify, so Liv should become her new best friend. Liv goes over to the aunt’s place with baby gifts, but the aunt has tossed Gladys out. Liv generously offers Auntie a new guilt trip about kicking out her pregnant niece. The aunt breaks down, explaining that she is just a single mom trying to raise her own two kids on her disability and she just couldn’t fathom taking on Gladys and a new baby. She has no idea where Gladys might be. Liv looks disgusted.
Fin (hey, Ice-T) finds a Craigslist ad Sunshine has placed offering her services. The TARU dude finds a response and the detectives head over and bust in on two frat rats. They find Gladys passed out in a bedroom. Her water has broken and then she has a seizure. Time for another bus.
At the hospital, a doctor tells them they performed an emergency C-section. The baby is only 1 pound and has a plethora of medical problems. The doctor says the kid has between a 17 and 40% chance of surviving and that’s with a gang of expense surgeries and she would likely be blind, deaf, and/or have cerebral palsy. Liv asks if the doc is saying they shouldn’t try any heroic measures and the doc basically says no, much to Elliot “Family Man” Stabler’s chagrin.
At the squad, the Dynamic Duo have a fight about what should be done about the baby. Alex comes in and interrupts it, so Elliot stalks off. Alex explains that Gladys will need to appear at a new ID hearing to make sure Beecher stays in jail and is held over for trial. Liv doesn’t think she’ll want to leave her baby. Alex says if Gladys won’t do it, then Liv should arrest her…for prostitution. Hey, didn’t someone tell Gladys that the cops were gonna arrest her? Who was that?
Oh well. Liv doesn’t want to do it, but she heads off to the hospital anyway. She finds Gladys in the NICU lovingly staring at her baby. Liv tries to gently coax her, but Gladys does not want to leave her kid who could die any moment. (Never mind the fact that she JUST had a baby, like, hours ago.) When Gladys won’t budge, Liv decides to arrest her.
Now we’re at the hearing the next day. Justice is conveniently swift. I’d swear it’s only been like 5 days since they even found the first body. I imagine there are thousands of folks in county jails all over the U.S. who wish our court systems actually worked like this.
Anywayz, Gladys is on the stand being questioned by Alex about her attack. Alex gets her to lay out the details then hands her off to Beecher’s lawyer. He decides to go the “blame the victim” route continuously calling her a prostitute and referring to her by her hooker name. He says his client is the victim which causes Gladys to bug out. She barks that Beecher is the one who tried to kill her and did kill at least two other women. This outburst causes Beecher to bust out his crazy, and he starts screaming about her being a whore. He gets dragged out of the courtroom and seemingly off to Oswald to get his ass branded by a Nazi who will trick him into falling in love with a homicidal sex demon who will break his heart which will drive him to orchestrate the overdose death of the Nazi’s son and to cat-claw a guard to death all of which will lead to the murder of his own son and some serious Beecher whoring around. Awww, I loved that show.
After the hearing, Gladys is all sad and tells Liv the lawyer was right about her and what will she tell her daughter. Liv tells her that she will do the right thing when the time comes. Gladys cries and gives Liv a big old hug.
Later that evening, Captain Cragen comes by Liv’s apartment with a letter that was dropped off at the squad for her. Some legal document naming LIV the legal guardian of Gladys' damn baby along with a letter from Gladys about leaving to soul search and find herself or some such. Liv looks stunned. Me too.
We’re not done. Later, Liv gets a call from the hospital. Something’s wrong with her new ward. The doctors need her to authorize an operation. Liv stands there with her mouth hanging open for two hours while the doctor keeps trying to get an answer from her.
And then we go to credits because SVU is cowardly.
Damn that was long. It’s been a while since I delved into some SVU like that, but the Beecher/Keller reunion could not be passed up.
Long live Beecher/Keller!!! xoxo
We got two episodes of the show last night now that Leno is no longer fouling up the 9 p. m. time slot. The first hour featured special guest star Kathy Griffin chomping up the scenery as some obnoxious lesbian activist who secretly loves men or some shit. I don't know. I came in at the half hour mark & I hate Kathy Griffin, but I did see that NBC chose to cut the not-so-hyped lesbian lip lock. Hmmm....
Having lost much interest in the show over the last few seasons, I wasn't even gonna watch the 2nd episode. The ballyhooing of special guest star Mischa Barton wasn't winning the show any points. However, what the hell else is on at that hour on a Wednesday?
The episode starts with a woman dressed like a hooker strolling down the street and being holla'ed at by some dude. I think he's offering to be her pimp. She blows him off and approaches some shadowy dude in a car. We next cut to her beaten and strangled corpse being looked at by the Dynamic Duo. They find a prayer card next to the body. Liv notes that another pro was killed in a similar manner and the same kind of card was left at that crime scene previously. Puzzled faces, credits, then commercials.
When we comeback, the squad is going over the evidence. It's here that I squealed with glee when I saw Lee Tergesen's name. Either you loved "Oz" and know exactly why that is fabulous or you don't give a shit, so I won't spend time telling you about the saga of Beecher & Keller.
(If you insist on knowing, go to Television Without Pity and read their "Oz" recaps, particularly starting with season 2.
Anyhoodle, I might have been lost in memories of hot man-on-man love (or running my bath), so I don't know exactly how we get to our red herring. (The dead hooker might have had a friend who knew Red Herring was a client.). The guy is some rich douche whose wife tried to break him of his past hooker habit through religious shaming. Hubby had a tough time with it & started asking wifey for some special favors. She was having none of it and I don't want to say SVU seemed to be excusing philandering with hookers by blaming prudish wives ("The mouth is not a proper receptacle for the seed") but I just said it, so there's that.
Since we haven't seen Ms. Barton yet & it's only about 20 minutes into the episode, you won't be surprised that Elliot's own shaming session with Red the Herring gets interrupted by news of another attack, but this time the victim is alive.
Do you know who that victim is? Do ya? Do ya? You can have an Oreo if you said Mischa Barton. She's sitting in an ambulance sort of refusing treatment while a bunch of other hookers yell at her not to tell the cops about almost being killed. Suddenly, a TV pimp shows up in the crowd and urges Mischa (hooker name: Sunshine) to keep her mouth shut. The detectives can't resist the urge to get in someone's face and act all badass, so while they're distracted threatening the pimp, Sunshine manages to hop into a car & flee the scene.
Back at the squad, research finds Sunshine (real name: Gladys) & her sad story in the system. Seems she was born to a drug addict and ended up in and out of foster care til she aged out. She's been being busted for hooking since she was 12 yeas old. Sad.
Our Duo track her to an aunt's house. Liv goes to harass Gladys about talking to them about her assault which is a common enough trope on this show, but I'm quite certain doesn't happen to rape victims too often in real life. At least, I hope not.
Liv sneers at the fact Gladys' aunt has only provided her niece an old couch in the corner of her daughters' bedroom on which to sleep. Crazily, Gladys is grateful to have a place to stay. How stupid is she, right?
Liv tries the empathy route, telling Gladys how she knows she was lured into prostitution by that smooth talking skeezeball pimp (who had a ridiculous TV pimp name like Silky or something, but I can’t remember what it was. Update: upon rewatching I learned the pimp's ridiculous name is Marmalade), claiming he wanted to show her a better life. Gladys breaks down and tells Liv about how he pretended to love her, then made her have sex with his friends, then told her she might as well get paid for it and suddenly she was a hooker…at 12! Gross.
Meanwhile, Elliot is in the kitchen insulting the hell out of Gladys' aunt. He accuses her of pimping Gladys out to help support her and her kids. Auntie, who has MS, basically tells him to go fuck himself. She says she took in her sister's kid despite her own difficulties & she don't have time for his accusatory bullshit.
I might have been turning off my bath water or heating up a Banquet frozen dinner because I can’t remember how we got to our next perp. Oh wait. I believe Liv’s guilt trip works on Gladys. She tells them that the john seemed all normal and nice, but them he got weird and asked if she was ready to meet her father. Then he started to strangle her. She passed out and came to with the cops there. She also mentions another pro who had an encounter with the murderous john.
They head to a diner to meet this other YOUNG lady who is about to tell them her story when Marmalade walks in. She tells her friend to wait for her outside while she goes to pay and the Dynamic Duo get in Marmalade's face once again. Before she leaves, Elliot hands her his card and she lays a napkin on the table and tells him to call her if he wants a good time because she loooooves cops. They pick up the napkin upon which the pro has drawn an AMAZING sketch of the perp. I suppose she did that at the register while she was paying. She needs to get off the streets and go to art school because she's kinda awesome.
I think they decided to do a sting to try to catch him. Alls I know is that the detectives end up at a scene where a young prostitute is struggling with some dude in a car. Elliot yanks the guy out and IT’S BEECHER!!! And I was super happy they were actually in a scene together because I was so sure that when Lee Tergesen finally did show up on SVU (after having appeared on both the other Law & Order incarnations…Trial by Jury does not count), the writers would be mean to us “Oz” fans and not give them any scenes together.
Anyway, Liv pulls the girl from the other side of the car and she tells them that Beecher asked her if she was ready to meet her father (*ding*) and started choking her, so she cut him. Beecher claims she attacked him, but Elliot presses him against the car, whisper-sneers something vaguely menacing in his ear, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Wow! That last part sounded like it could have been a scene from “Oz”.
Now, Elliot is questioning Beecher at the station. Beecher says he’s a minister who only wants to save the hookers from their lives of sin. He claims he didn’t kill them, only tried to talk to them about their evil, whorish ways. Elliot shows him the dead girls’ pictures and Beecher says he didn’t kill them, but whoever did sent them to heaven, so he really did them a favor.
Elliot decides to use Beecher’s religious zealotry to his advantage. He starts going on about confession and gets all handsy. Beecher grabs Elliot's arm and starts reciting some Bible prayer (I’m a heathen who was too caught up in the hoyay to pay attention to which one) and Beecher stands up. Now, he and Elliot stand face-to-face with their hands on each other’s shoulders, almost embracing. Then they touch their foreheads together while finishing the prayer and it almost looks like they are gonna kiss and I was totally giddy because that was such a freakin’ shout-out and I think I fell in love with SVU again. (It doesn’t hurt that Stephanie March appears to have returned to the show.) They finish the prayer and Beecher rejects Keller…I mean, Elliot’s advances by saying he won’t be confessing to him today.
*Sigh* I need a cold drink.
So now Liv has convinced Gladys to i.d. Beecher in a line-up. In the room with her and the detectives and ADA Cabott is Beecher’s lawyer (played by “The Wire” alum, Delaney Williams). The lawyer starts playing mind-games with Gladys telling her the cops will arrest her for prostitution because by identifying Beecher she is admitting to being a hooker. Or something.
The cops tell him to shut it and encourage Gladys to make her i.d. They have the line-up dudes say the line about meeting your father. Beecher is 3rd in line and he’s giving Gladys the evil eye. Gladys is wondering why he’s acting like he can see her. The cops reassure her and tell Beecher to say the line. Instead, he goes totally religious wackadoo and starts stalking towards the glass. Gladys freaks and says, “That’s him” and runs out of the room and into a stairwell. Liv goes after her just in time to see Gladys go tumbling down the stairs. Liv screams for a bus (SVU speak for an ambulance) and goes to Gladys’ aid. It’s now that Liv and the audience see that Gladys, who has shown a fondness for big clothes, is a little pregnant. Ruh-roh.
(I’m not so good at condensing these recaps.)
So now, Gladys is at the hospital and the Dynamic Duo are talking to her doctor who tells them Gladys and the baby are fine for now. They ask if they can talk to Gladys and try the old "she's our only witness in a murder investigation". The Doc is all she and her baby are still alive and I plan to keep them that way and then he awesomely saunters right out of the room without glancing back. Why the hell don’t more people do that on this show (and the other L&Os as well)? Most times, the minute the detectives mention getting a warrant people are ready to hand over their first born.
Gladys is telling the detectives that she’s gonna change her life now. She’s gonna stop hooking, so that she can take care of herself and her baby the right way. Liv and Elliot start badgering her to give her baby up for adoption, but Gladys is having none of it. Gladys’ aunt shows up and freaks out upon learning about the pregnancy. Elliot decides to beat up on Gladys’ aunt some more. Again, he accuses her of essentially pimping Gladys and contributing to Gladys’ situation. She tells him to piss off and kicks them out of Gladys’ hospital room.
The next day (?) Alex goes to court to get Beecher held over for trial. His lawyer argues that the i.d. should be thrown out because Gladys didn’t really i.d. his client. Alex points out that Gladys flipped because of his client’s antics. The judge sides with Alex and Beecher is remanded without bail.
Back at the station, Alex explains to Liv that they’ll need Gladys to testify, so Liv should become her new best friend. Liv goes over to the aunt’s place with baby gifts, but the aunt has tossed Gladys out. Liv generously offers Auntie a new guilt trip about kicking out her pregnant niece. The aunt breaks down, explaining that she is just a single mom trying to raise her own two kids on her disability and she just couldn’t fathom taking on Gladys and a new baby. She has no idea where Gladys might be. Liv looks disgusted.
Fin (hey, Ice-T) finds a Craigslist ad Sunshine has placed offering her services. The TARU dude finds a response and the detectives head over and bust in on two frat rats. They find Gladys passed out in a bedroom. Her water has broken and then she has a seizure. Time for another bus.
At the hospital, a doctor tells them they performed an emergency C-section. The baby is only 1 pound and has a plethora of medical problems. The doctor says the kid has between a 17 and 40% chance of surviving and that’s with a gang of expense surgeries and she would likely be blind, deaf, and/or have cerebral palsy. Liv asks if the doc is saying they shouldn’t try any heroic measures and the doc basically says no, much to Elliot “Family Man” Stabler’s chagrin.
At the squad, the Dynamic Duo have a fight about what should be done about the baby. Alex comes in and interrupts it, so Elliot stalks off. Alex explains that Gladys will need to appear at a new ID hearing to make sure Beecher stays in jail and is held over for trial. Liv doesn’t think she’ll want to leave her baby. Alex says if Gladys won’t do it, then Liv should arrest her…for prostitution. Hey, didn’t someone tell Gladys that the cops were gonna arrest her? Who was that?
Oh well. Liv doesn’t want to do it, but she heads off to the hospital anyway. She finds Gladys in the NICU lovingly staring at her baby. Liv tries to gently coax her, but Gladys does not want to leave her kid who could die any moment. (Never mind the fact that she JUST had a baby, like, hours ago.) When Gladys won’t budge, Liv decides to arrest her.
Now we’re at the hearing the next day. Justice is conveniently swift. I’d swear it’s only been like 5 days since they even found the first body. I imagine there are thousands of folks in county jails all over the U.S. who wish our court systems actually worked like this.
Anywayz, Gladys is on the stand being questioned by Alex about her attack. Alex gets her to lay out the details then hands her off to Beecher’s lawyer. He decides to go the “blame the victim” route continuously calling her a prostitute and referring to her by her hooker name. He says his client is the victim which causes Gladys to bug out. She barks that Beecher is the one who tried to kill her and did kill at least two other women. This outburst causes Beecher to bust out his crazy, and he starts screaming about her being a whore. He gets dragged out of the courtroom and seemingly off to Oswald to get his ass branded by a Nazi who will trick him into falling in love with a homicidal sex demon who will break his heart which will drive him to orchestrate the overdose death of the Nazi’s son and to cat-claw a guard to death all of which will lead to the murder of his own son and some serious Beecher whoring around. Awww, I loved that show.
After the hearing, Gladys is all sad and tells Liv the lawyer was right about her and what will she tell her daughter. Liv tells her that she will do the right thing when the time comes. Gladys cries and gives Liv a big old hug.
Later that evening, Captain Cragen comes by Liv’s apartment with a letter that was dropped off at the squad for her. Some legal document naming LIV the legal guardian of Gladys' damn baby along with a letter from Gladys about leaving to soul search and find herself or some such. Liv looks stunned. Me too.
We’re not done. Later, Liv gets a call from the hospital. Something’s wrong with her new ward. The doctors need her to authorize an operation. Liv stands there with her mouth hanging open for two hours while the doctor keeps trying to get an answer from her.
And then we go to credits because SVU is cowardly.
Damn that was long. It’s been a while since I delved into some SVU like that, but the Beecher/Keller reunion could not be passed up.
Long live Beecher/Keller!!! xoxo
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Nothing special
It's a bad sign when one has almost forgotten a movie only an hour after leaving the theatre, but that's about where I am with The Wolfman. I can't really say that any part of it really leapt out at me. Well, except for Anthony Hopkins' scenery chewing. None of the jump scares got me and I laughed at scenes I'm pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be laughing at. Most of the acting (or was it the dialogue?) was tired and uninteresting and the two romantic leads had no chemistry AT ALL.
It wasn't a terrible movie. It's really just a boring movie which might be worse than being terrible. Last year at this time, I was still seething one day later about the remake of Friday the 13th. My anger has only slightly subsided lo these many months later. I can still recall every damn thing I hated about that movie. This time next year, I'll likely have forgotten I even saw this film.
It wasn't a terrible movie. It's really just a boring movie which might be worse than being terrible. Last year at this time, I was still seething one day later about the remake of Friday the 13th. My anger has only slightly subsided lo these many months later. I can still recall every damn thing I hated about that movie. This time next year, I'll likely have forgotten I even saw this film.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Let me break it down for you
One of my favorite comments regarding this Strib article:
Commenter says: [How about] donating the money received from these fines to charity. If I break a traffic law, I have no problem paying a fine. It is my responsibility to know my surroundings and what I can and cannot do in certain areas at certain times and if I dont comply, I should have to pay a fine. Thats fine with me.
I ask: What does this person have against the apostrophe? It's a perfectly good punctuation device. Also, I'm not so sure this person IS fine with it considering what he says later. Read on.
S/He says: I just am sick and tired of the police and city taking us for idiots. They say they dont do this to generate revenue. Fine, prove it. Donate the money to charity, there are plenty that need the funds, and I will believe that this is really a safety/congestion issue and not just a way to make money for the city.
I say: Saying something is not done to generate revenue isn't the same as saying that something is not a source of revenue. There is indeed a city to run and it does run on money. Using funds from fines accessed against lawbreakers isn't a terrible thing. And sending the money to charity isn't exactly going to change the way people behave. I don't want a bunch of assholes out there shrugging their shoulders at traffic safety because "at least the dough goes to charity".
The commenter continues: I agree people should follow traffic laws, but I also believe that police could be better using their time than sitting around a corner waiting to hand out a fine. With the murder rate going up so far this year in Minneapolis, I think police should focus their attention on the real criminals...The murderers,rapists,drug dealers and not upstanding citizens who just made a mistake and turned left by accident. Priorities a little out of whack. For every cop that sits waiting for people to do this, thats one less cop keeping us safe from the real criminals.
I say: Ahhh, yes. "Real criminals"! One of my FAVORITE phrases. Because traffic laws aren't "real laws" so people who disobey them aren't "real criminals". They just innocently made a mistake. They didn't realize they were doing something wrong as a line of cars behind them began honk their horns. They had no clue when drivers in cars that managed to whip around them gave them dirty looks and the one-finger salute what they could possibly have done to warrant such anger. They apparently also don't understand the combination of the red circle with the line through it superimposed over the arrow bent to the left.
For every cop that isn't busting jiveass turkeys who hold up traffic to make a left turn where they aren't supposed to, who block intersections when they fucking KNOW they aren't going to make it through the light (11th & Hennepin rush hour drivers heading to 394 I'm looking at YOU!!!), who insist on pulling their cars so far into the crosswalk that pedestrians practically have to walk into the flow of traffic to get to the other side of the street, there's an accident waiting to happen.
Here's another one I just LOVE (copied & pasted as posted on the site so they bad grammar is all hers/his):
About 6 years ago got a some sort of a ticket in Minneapolis. As a result, we have not visited the city since. As very well off, we are happy to deprive the place of revenue. We would encourage you to do the same. Avoid Minneapolis, go have fun somewhere else, do spend money somewhere else.
Translation: I'm rich and therefore, I should be able to come to your dirty little city and do whatever the hell I want. Since you've decided to treat me like I'm *scoff* any other person (the nerve!), I'm going to avoid spending my vast reservoir of wealth there, leaving you poor and desperate which is what you deserve for not catering to ME ME ME!!!
Piss off, you terrible driving dickwad. We don't want your kind or your dollars here. Even though I know that's a filthy lie because a rich, entitled prick like you is so going to have tickets for the Twins season opener at the fancy new stadium which happens to be in that terrible city that holds "well-off" fucktards to the same standards as everyone else. You'll be back and Minneapolis' Finest Revenue Collectors will be waiting, I hope.
Commenter says: [How about] donating the money received from these fines to charity. If I break a traffic law, I have no problem paying a fine. It is my responsibility to know my surroundings and what I can and cannot do in certain areas at certain times and if I dont comply, I should have to pay a fine. Thats fine with me.
I ask: What does this person have against the apostrophe? It's a perfectly good punctuation device. Also, I'm not so sure this person IS fine with it considering what he says later. Read on.
S/He says: I just am sick and tired of the police and city taking us for idiots. They say they dont do this to generate revenue. Fine, prove it. Donate the money to charity, there are plenty that need the funds, and I will believe that this is really a safety/congestion issue and not just a way to make money for the city.
I say: Saying something is not done to generate revenue isn't the same as saying that something is not a source of revenue. There is indeed a city to run and it does run on money. Using funds from fines accessed against lawbreakers isn't a terrible thing. And sending the money to charity isn't exactly going to change the way people behave. I don't want a bunch of assholes out there shrugging their shoulders at traffic safety because "at least the dough goes to charity".
The commenter continues: I agree people should follow traffic laws, but I also believe that police could be better using their time than sitting around a corner waiting to hand out a fine. With the murder rate going up so far this year in Minneapolis, I think police should focus their attention on the real criminals...The murderers,rapists,drug dealers and not upstanding citizens who just made a mistake and turned left by accident. Priorities a little out of whack. For every cop that sits waiting for people to do this, thats one less cop keeping us safe from the real criminals.
I say: Ahhh, yes. "Real criminals"! One of my FAVORITE phrases. Because traffic laws aren't "real laws" so people who disobey them aren't "real criminals". They just innocently made a mistake. They didn't realize they were doing something wrong as a line of cars behind them began honk their horns. They had no clue when drivers in cars that managed to whip around them gave them dirty looks and the one-finger salute what they could possibly have done to warrant such anger. They apparently also don't understand the combination of the red circle with the line through it superimposed over the arrow bent to the left.
For every cop that isn't busting jiveass turkeys who hold up traffic to make a left turn where they aren't supposed to, who block intersections when they fucking KNOW they aren't going to make it through the light (11th & Hennepin rush hour drivers heading to 394 I'm looking at YOU!!!), who insist on pulling their cars so far into the crosswalk that pedestrians practically have to walk into the flow of traffic to get to the other side of the street, there's an accident waiting to happen.
Here's another one I just LOVE (copied & pasted as posted on the site so they bad grammar is all hers/his):
About 6 years ago got a some sort of a ticket in Minneapolis. As a result, we have not visited the city since. As very well off, we are happy to deprive the place of revenue. We would encourage you to do the same. Avoid Minneapolis, go have fun somewhere else, do spend money somewhere else.
Translation: I'm rich and therefore, I should be able to come to your dirty little city and do whatever the hell I want. Since you've decided to treat me like I'm *scoff* any other person (the nerve!), I'm going to avoid spending my vast reservoir of wealth there, leaving you poor and desperate which is what you deserve for not catering to ME ME ME!!!
Piss off, you terrible driving dickwad. We don't want your kind or your dollars here. Even though I know that's a filthy lie because a rich, entitled prick like you is so going to have tickets for the Twins season opener at the fancy new stadium which happens to be in that terrible city that holds "well-off" fucktards to the same standards as everyone else. You'll be back and Minneapolis' Finest Revenue Collectors will be waiting, I hope.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Up the AFSCME
So I'm pretty sure I didn't get that BCA position I bid on back in November. I still haven't gotten official word. I learned from another CoW who talked to the other person who bid on the position. According to my CoW, Other Candidate said she got offered the post and that she thinks she only got it because she has more seniority. I'm going with that because it makes me feel better to say she is not better than me. I mean, how much Law & Order does she watch?
But seriously, there is some bullshit going down. Our unit is dealing with some major bullshit involving shitty employees who can't be fired for being shitty employees because they are protected under our union contract. (Ex: you are a shitty employee when you take 6 weeks off work because of the "stress" brought on by planning the wedding you browbeat your fiance into having. This same employee was taking 2 or 3 days a week off prior to that because of the "stress" brought on by the lack of a proposal by her fiance. And you know how she is getting away with it? She doctor-shopped to find someone who would say she was stressed so she could get time off under the Family Medical Leave Act.) It's that sort of shit as well as good workers being passed over because they have less time in the organization (not less experience) and the extreme nepotism and buddy-bumping that goes on around here that really pisses me off.
I think I've mentioned before that my boss loves me. I have been offered opportunities for advancement in our unit which would really fall under the buddy-bumping. Positions that technically should be posted for everyone to apply instead have people just magically moved over. My cross-training presumably could have lead to a bump without formal application. I know it happens everywhere, but it doesn't cheese me off any less, particularly when it involves people who SUCK (CoWorker I Hate and King of Getting into Yelling Matches with Customers Dark Roots Derrick are now Team Leads even though both are really terrible at customer service/people skills) and when I'm one of the folks getting screwed.
What? Isn't everyone okay with stuff until it negatively affects them. At least, I'm honest.
But I'm only a little bitter. Okay, I'm a lot bitter.
But seriously, there is some bullshit going down. Our unit is dealing with some major bullshit involving shitty employees who can't be fired for being shitty employees because they are protected under our union contract. (Ex: you are a shitty employee when you take 6 weeks off work because of the "stress" brought on by planning the wedding you browbeat your fiance into having. This same employee was taking 2 or 3 days a week off prior to that because of the "stress" brought on by the lack of a proposal by her fiance. And you know how she is getting away with it? She doctor-shopped to find someone who would say she was stressed so she could get time off under the Family Medical Leave Act.) It's that sort of shit as well as good workers being passed over because they have less time in the organization (not less experience) and the extreme nepotism and buddy-bumping that goes on around here that really pisses me off.
I think I've mentioned before that my boss loves me. I have been offered opportunities for advancement in our unit which would really fall under the buddy-bumping. Positions that technically should be posted for everyone to apply instead have people just magically moved over. My cross-training presumably could have lead to a bump without formal application. I know it happens everywhere, but it doesn't cheese me off any less, particularly when it involves people who SUCK (CoWorker I Hate and King of Getting into Yelling Matches with Customers Dark Roots Derrick are now Team Leads even though both are really terrible at customer service/people skills) and when I'm one of the folks getting screwed.
What? Isn't everyone okay with stuff until it negatively affects them. At least, I'm honest.
But I'm only a little bitter. Okay, I'm a lot bitter.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
I wanna be rich
I really need to win the Powerball because I just can't deal with office bullshit anymore. I can't deal with bitchy know-it-alls or whiny, self-centered brats who pout when you don't say hello to them. I also can't stand having to carry lazy thoughtless motherfuckers who fell perfectly comfortable taking days off or strolling in late with little regard to how it effects other people. And I REALLY can't stand a supervisor who spends more time trying not to piss anyone off than actually supervising.
But more than anything, I can't stand constantly bitching about the people I work with. Some might say I should stop bitching, but when a good chunk of my time awake is spent with these assholes, it's kinda tough to let it roll off ya and since I can't totally go off on these motherfuckers like I want to, I have this blog. I don't call myself the Crotchety Crocheter for nothin'. I am thankful that I have a job right now and I can half-sorta pay my bills and feed my stupid face, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating to have to deal with other people's insensitivity and pettiness.
Then again, they may feel the same about me. Maybe my frosty, cold-shouldered, I'm-not-here-to-make-friends attitude pisses them off. Maybe I think I'm just an awesome workerbee doing her job and they think I'm a robotic bitznitch with a chip on her shoulder. They are probably right to some degree. I don't pretend to want to get to know them or to let them get to know me. I do believe that my only obligation here is to do my job well. I'm not paid to coo over their babies (if I'm not in the mood which is rare because I do love babies) or their puppies or listen to them bitch about their husbands. There's nothing gained by me telling them about what my friends and I did over the weekend, how my family is doing in Indiana, or whether I'll marry someday (none of these bastards would be invited to the wedding).
These people are driving me to smoke. I hate them for this.
But more than anything, I can't stand constantly bitching about the people I work with. Some might say I should stop bitching, but when a good chunk of my time awake is spent with these assholes, it's kinda tough to let it roll off ya and since I can't totally go off on these motherfuckers like I want to, I have this blog. I don't call myself the Crotchety Crocheter for nothin'. I am thankful that I have a job right now and I can half-sorta pay my bills and feed my stupid face, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating to have to deal with other people's insensitivity and pettiness.
Then again, they may feel the same about me. Maybe my frosty, cold-shouldered, I'm-not-here-to-make-friends attitude pisses them off. Maybe I think I'm just an awesome workerbee doing her job and they think I'm a robotic bitznitch with a chip on her shoulder. They are probably right to some degree. I don't pretend to want to get to know them or to let them get to know me. I do believe that my only obligation here is to do my job well. I'm not paid to coo over their babies (if I'm not in the mood which is rare because I do love babies) or their puppies or listen to them bitch about their husbands. There's nothing gained by me telling them about what my friends and I did over the weekend, how my family is doing in Indiana, or whether I'll marry someday (none of these bastards would be invited to the wedding).
These people are driving me to smoke. I hate them for this.
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