So Paranormal Activity has been a long wait on Netflix for many moons, but I noticed something called Paranormal Entity was available so I decided to give it a go. It arrived on Wednesday & since SVU didn't have any guest stars I gave a crap about (Lena Olin? really?), I popped it into the laptop as a nightcap.
This is one of them Asylum joints, quickly whipped up to cash-in on some of that PA money...and it kinda shows. The premise is amom and her two grown-ass kids are noticing, uh, paranormal activity in their home. The son decided to document the events with a series of cameras. Well, eventually, the daughter & a paranormal investigator are murdered in the house. The son is arrested for the crimes, but commits suicide while in jail. A year later, someone found the footage we are about to see. Don't worry. That will not be the first nod to Blair Witch we get.
The footage covers about 25 days in October. There's no point in going into a whole lot of detail. The entity starts out as a prankster who throw glasses form the kitchen cupboard when no one's around, turns the TV on in the middle of the night & crankcalls the house. The family sets up cameras to capture occurrences (which only happen at night apparently). In interviews, we learn that mom has been"talking" to her dead husband. We're told the entity is mostly focused on Sam, the 18-yer old sister & it's hinted that it's some kind of sexual demon, so they are pretty sure it's not Dad's ghost.
The brother walks around all the time sticking a camera in his mom's & Sam's faces. He is mostly skeptical of the ghost theory. Eventually, the entity steps up his game and goes from prankster to mean bully & psychological predator. He knocks over Dad's urn and walks through the ashes. He then leaves ashy footprints on the ceiling of the house. He also continuously knocks a cross that hangs over Sam's bed off the wall & yanks the covers off her while she sleeps. At one point, the entity makes mom write Maron on a piece of paper while she's sleepwalking.
All this time, the family is trying to reach this doctor who is apparently some sort of paranormal investigator, but he's on vacation. Eventually the brother (who is played by the director or writer or cameraman or something) sends Mom & Sam to a hotel while he tries to capture some of what's going on in the house. He goes all MacGuyver, placing bells on fishing line around the house. When a belll rings, he goes to investigate and gets scared by a moving chair. Then Mom & Sam call to say the entity has followed them to the hotel, so he orders them home.
I'm going on llonger than I'd planned about this movie. It wasn't very good. The acting was pretty bad with horrible ad libbing and it had a creepy vibe, but for the reasons they wanted. The brother's attention to his sister is a bit...unhealthy. On more than one occasion, he comes across her half-dressed or undressed & doesn't turn the damn camera off. Nevermind the scene where she's attacked in the bathtub.
I had heard of Asylum and its ilk before, but I'd never seen one. I can see how these might be fun to mock if you've seenthe movie they're ripping off. I just hope having seen this mess first, it won't wreck the real thing for me.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
Hair! Hair! Long, beautiful hair!
Things I want to punch in the face: Things I Want to Punch in the Face.
While I find many of the posts on this blog funny, this one really struck a nerve. Part of the reason it hit me is because the tabloids of late have been having a field day talking about how Angelina Jolie is turning her daughter Shiloh into a lesbian because she lets her dress like a "tomboy" and recently cut her hair short. Heavenforfend a little girl not have pigtails and wear pink frilly dresses everywhere.
The other part is the notion of some stranger having such a vested interest in the gender/identity of someone else's child. The writer SHOULD be embarrassed by her need to actually inquire about the name of this man's child, but decides that Dave Matthews committed the faux pas by allowing his son to have a "feminine" feature. That's none of her damn business! In this day and age, I don't understand why more people don't realize that YOU ARE A STRANGER. You may know you're just a cozy old auntie at heart who just ADORES the babies (like me), but in reality, you are someone with no connection to that child and therefore, no RIGHT to any information about her/him. Her saving grace is that she actually addressed the child's parent and not the child directly, but she loses points because she asked for his name (well, she asked for HER name) which is plain creepy. Don't we now teach that parents/guardians shouldn't have kids' names on clothing & backpacks so that STRANGERS can't trick them into thinking they aren't STRANGERS. Getting the info in front of the parent would be a neat way for a pedophile to make a child think he or she is a-okay when he or she accosts said-child later. (Or maybe I just watch too much true crime shit.)
And of course, she loses more points because when corrected, she pretended understanding , but then ran off and wrote a mean blog post about how Mr. Matthews' decision to let his son wear his hair long does not work within her social norms.
I don't know what to make of the "girly hoodie" comment. On the one hand, STFU, Dave Matthews. On the other hand, her comment about how "evolved" the kid was smack of a bit of hypocrisy. Cool that he's allowed to wear "girly" clothes, but only if she can see that he's a boy wearing "girly" clothes? WTH?
I posted a link in my comment to a Jezebel post about the Shiloh brouhaha, but none of the other commenters seem to give a crap. Many of them seem to agree that parents who let their boys wear long hair should "just deal with it" or freaking conform for chrissake!
While I find many of the posts on this blog funny, this one really struck a nerve. Part of the reason it hit me is because the tabloids of late have been having a field day talking about how Angelina Jolie is turning her daughter Shiloh into a lesbian because she lets her dress like a "tomboy" and recently cut her hair short. Heavenforfend a little girl not have pigtails and wear pink frilly dresses everywhere.
The other part is the notion of some stranger having such a vested interest in the gender/identity of someone else's child. The writer SHOULD be embarrassed by her need to actually inquire about the name of this man's child, but decides that Dave Matthews committed the faux pas by allowing his son to have a "feminine" feature. That's none of her damn business! In this day and age, I don't understand why more people don't realize that YOU ARE A STRANGER. You may know you're just a cozy old auntie at heart who just ADORES the babies (like me), but in reality, you are someone with no connection to that child and therefore, no RIGHT to any information about her/him. Her saving grace is that she actually addressed the child's parent and not the child directly, but she loses points because she asked for his name (well, she asked for HER name) which is plain creepy. Don't we now teach that parents/guardians shouldn't have kids' names on clothing & backpacks so that STRANGERS can't trick them into thinking they aren't STRANGERS. Getting the info in front of the parent would be a neat way for a pedophile to make a child think he or she is a-okay when he or she accosts said-child later. (Or maybe I just watch too much true crime shit.)
And of course, she loses more points because when corrected, she pretended understanding , but then ran off and wrote a mean blog post about how Mr. Matthews' decision to let his son wear his hair long does not work within her social norms.
I don't know what to make of the "girly hoodie" comment. On the one hand, STFU, Dave Matthews. On the other hand, her comment about how "evolved" the kid was smack of a bit of hypocrisy. Cool that he's allowed to wear "girly" clothes, but only if she can see that he's a boy wearing "girly" clothes? WTH?
I posted a link in my comment to a Jezebel post about the Shiloh brouhaha, but none of the other commenters seem to give a crap. Many of them seem to agree that parents who let their boys wear long hair should "just deal with it" or freaking conform for chrissake!
Sunday, March 07, 2010
Apartment Search: The Ending (?)
I'm pooped. Tuckered out. I've been up and at 'em since 7 this morning. Got up and did five loads of laundry first thing in the morning. While I waited for that to get done, I went through stuff in my closet to see what I can donate. I'm not even close to done with that. I have a LOT of stuff I know I will never squeeze my hind end into again. I found stuff that still have tags on them! I got all tired doing that and hauling laundry up and down stairs, so now there's a pile of clothes on my bed that I'll have to put somewhere so I can go to bed later.
Afterwards, I went and got some chow then headed over to JAS for their apartment tour. We started as she stated promptly at 2. We saw 12 apartments. Some of them were really nice, including a sweet 1 bedroom in the building I used to live in. This was on the 2nd floor and had GORGEOUS exposed brick walls and dark wood trim. The kitchen was nice, but it had built-ins. The bathroom was AMAZING with the brick and clawfoot tub and pedestal sink. That place was $665. In fact, most of the stuff within my price range were studios which, no. We did see a 1 bedroom which happens to be across the street from the Stevens apartment I love (we'll get to that in a minute). It was small-ish but nice and it was $595. It had an open, step up kitchen with a breakfast bar and okay cabinet space. The bathroom was long and narrow, but it had the tub I want and it served it's purpose. Two good closets and the bedroom was workable.
The studios we saw were nice, including one at 20th & Nicollet which had stainless steel appliances and dark wood trim with a huge closet and cute remodeled bathroom, but again, it was a studio AND it was carpeted even though we could tell there were hardwoods underneath. What a waste.
After that, I met with Jaimin at Stevens Community again to look at the one I loved. She and her coworker told me that another couple had viewed it and were seriously considering it. That may have just been a sales tactic, but it worked because I said, "I want it." So I put in an app and a holding fee and she and I went to look at it again so I could take a few more pictures and make sure that I still loved it (I do!) and now I just have to wait and see if they like me enough to overlook a few minor glitches in my credit/rental history. My fingers are crossed because I really like this place.
I'm hoping to move Mid-April. I don't have to, but I always prefer having extra time to move then come back and clean the old place. Plus everybody and their mama will be trying to get a truck for May 1st. Only a few of us will want one for April 17 (mark your calendars, my moving friends...you know who you are).
So the waiting game begins. Now, I'm gonna will myself to find a place for all the crap on my bed.
Afterwards, I went and got some chow then headed over to JAS for their apartment tour. We started as she stated promptly at 2. We saw 12 apartments. Some of them were really nice, including a sweet 1 bedroom in the building I used to live in. This was on the 2nd floor and had GORGEOUS exposed brick walls and dark wood trim. The kitchen was nice, but it had built-ins. The bathroom was AMAZING with the brick and clawfoot tub and pedestal sink. That place was $665. In fact, most of the stuff within my price range were studios which, no. We did see a 1 bedroom which happens to be across the street from the Stevens apartment I love (we'll get to that in a minute). It was small-ish but nice and it was $595. It had an open, step up kitchen with a breakfast bar and okay cabinet space. The bathroom was long and narrow, but it had the tub I want and it served it's purpose. Two good closets and the bedroom was workable.
The studios we saw were nice, including one at 20th & Nicollet which had stainless steel appliances and dark wood trim with a huge closet and cute remodeled bathroom, but again, it was a studio AND it was carpeted even though we could tell there were hardwoods underneath. What a waste.
After that, I met with Jaimin at Stevens Community again to look at the one I loved. She and her coworker told me that another couple had viewed it and were seriously considering it. That may have just been a sales tactic, but it worked because I said, "I want it." So I put in an app and a holding fee and she and I went to look at it again so I could take a few more pictures and make sure that I still loved it (I do!) and now I just have to wait and see if they like me enough to overlook a few minor glitches in my credit/rental history. My fingers are crossed because I really like this place.
I'm hoping to move Mid-April. I don't have to, but I always prefer having extra time to move then come back and clean the old place. Plus everybody and their mama will be trying to get a truck for May 1st. Only a few of us will want one for April 17 (mark your calendars, my moving friends...you know who you are).
So the waiting game begins. Now, I'm gonna will myself to find a place for all the crap on my bed.
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Apartment Search: The Beginning
(Everything typed above “Later details” is directly from my iPhone Notes, typed as I was out and about searching. “Later details” was done after I got home.)
Just saw a surprisingly nice carpeted garden level 1 bd @ 14 Oak Grove. It's called a 1+ because there are actually 3 rooms. The kitchen is kinda small with a little-ish fridge & an apt-size stove, but it's open and has a breakfast bar with lots of storage space under it. The living room has a built-in bookshelf and could handle my couch & table okay. There’s also a decorative radiator cover (she said something about the radiators not working down there?) which would work well as a TV stand, esp. since the cable hook up is right next to it. The next room is technically the bedroom because it has the largest window and a (large) closet, but it also has the bathroom (w/clawfoot tub!), so it'd be better suited as an office. Excellent for my computer, desk, bookshelves, yarn stash etc. Finally, there's a back room with a small window, but a huge closet. That room could easily handle my bed & little dresser and telly. Other notables: 1 more closet (next to front door), right across from the laundry room, free laundry, only unit on that level, extra storage, bars on front windows, other windows in a secure area, one month free w/12mo lease, flexible move-in. It's $620 which isn't bad. The ceilings are kinda low and while the bars might be nice, garden level still creeps me the heck out.
Ann (that was her name...and I can also speak with Diane w/questions) also showed me a couple top floor 1 bds w/hwd flrs. They were more expensive and smaller than the garden level. One is getting a similar kitchen remodel, but it was $660 & it gets a lot of freeway noise.
Now, I'm off to showing #2.
Showing #2 was awkward because there was another couple along for the view. I saw about 5 units in 3 bldgs, but I'm kinda mixing up units & bldgs at this point. The first was a studio on 15th & Spruce. It had nice dark wood trim, a Murphy bed (do not want, but it’s a kitschy feature), a smallish, but cute kitchen with built-ins & shelves, avg bath w/soaking tub, two closets & built-in linen storage. Nice, but still a studio.
I think we also looked at a 1 bd in that building, before heading to 215 W 15th, but I'm not sure. I do recall the 1 bd rooms having kitchens similar to the studio’s with built-ins & shelves. The fridges were in a little nook of the kitchen, kinda like my place at 203 19th. They had small closets, no ceiling fans, one had painted wood trim (boo). The one with unpainted trim was kinda dark, but it had a ceiling light in the living room. Also, the climb to the top floor which is where the painted trim one was was steep. Not so hot for moving long objects like queen mattresses, couches & bookshelves. Dark trim was on the 1st floor. Meh.
We then saw an apartment on the 2nd floor of 14th & Spruce. Very similar to the ones across the street, but the bathroom was in the bedroom of this on which always weirds me out since some folks are nosy. Not that I ever have people over, but it could happen. Also, he said there is concrete between the floors so less noise from neighbors. After that lead-footed a-hole above me at 18th & 1st, I’m weary of people above me on hardwoods. Some folks are thoughtless.
So those are contenders. I've been dodging dogshit for about 1 1/2 hours while waiting to meet with Stevens Community at 2:15. It's 2:05. Close enough my thumbs are cold.
Dammit! I might be in love. Running late. Details later.
Later details:
Since I had finished with The Park Apartments at like 11:45, I decided to try out the new Chinese/Indian buffet place across from Ping’s. It was decent, but I’ll stick to Richfield, thanks.
I was unable to find a City Pages or Onion on my way in, so I decided to check out Craigslist stuff on my phone to see if I might schedule more viewings while in the neighborhood. I left a message for the Gladstone, then decided to check out Stevens Community. The next time they could fit me in was 2:15, so I finished eating and wandered around Stevens for about an hour.
Jaimin was super nice and very fun to view apartments with. She only showed me two places, but she got a good read on what I was looking for. The first place was a 1 bedroom in the Blackstone building which is on the corner of 18th & 1st. Someone actually put in an application for that one after we came back from viewing the second place, so I won’t go on about that one. It was a really good size and pretty nice at $580. It had a dining room with wood wainscoting (I think that’s what it’s called.
Anyway, the next place she showed me was at 1800 – 3rd Ave S. It was on the top floor and I believe it was a corner unit. It was SUPER cute and I kind want to take it to the zoo and buy it ice cream. The living room is perfectly sized with good sized closet, lots of outlets, a ceiling fan, and cable/internet connection. Dark wood trim unpainted is a nice touch. Next is the kitchen which, although small, is A KITCHEN! There are cabinets up the wazoo and counterspace. I don’t even know what’s that’s like because I’ve never had it in an apartment I’ve lived in. The only problem I have with it is the stove (apartment sized—not one of the places I saw today had a regular sized stove) was electric. I really want a gas stove. Jaimin suggested I might be able to have them change it out, but I’m not sure how easy that is. Not a total deal breaker, but one of the few cons this apartment had.
Across the hall from the kitchen is a built-in armoire. Extra storage is always a plus. Next to the kitchen is the bath which has a modern sink with storage underneath, but I still get my soaking tub. Finally, the bedroom which would fit my queen and chest of drawers just fine. The closet could totally handle my clothes (especially if I give away/sell some of them) and I might even still be able to keep my shoes in their individual boxes as I like to do. (Although I do get that putting them into a couple plastic bins would save time and energy during the move.)
I loved Loved LOVED everything about that apartment (well, except that stupid stove). It’s on the higher end of my price range at $615 (I’d really like to stay under $625, $650 if it’s REALLY nice), but it’s so worth it, especially considering what I’m paying $675 (and what they will be charging $690) for now and considering everything else I saw today.
Even though I was hella tempted to put in an application (and did I mention how awesome Jaimin was? She was the most personable of all 4 of the folks who showed me apartments today). I did already have that appointment with Mint Properties and being impulsive has gotten me into apartment hell before, so I didn’t do it. (That doesn’t mean I might not call her tomorrow after my JAS tour.)
So I met Mint Properties guy at a sketchy ass building on 21st & 3rd. I’m no snob…well, actually, I kinda am…whatever. There was some strange old man standing in front of the building and I wondered at first if he was the person who was gonna show me places. Then some thuggish looking character came out and started trying to chat me up. Apartment Guy must have been waiting in his truck for me because he walked up almost right away (thankfully).
The places in this building were okay, but the kitchens were downright dinky. It’s like when building the place, they almost forgot they needed a place for a stove and a fridge and sink, so they knocked out a wall to stick those in. The floors weren’t even real hard wood. Those were pretty much a no from jumpstreet with the sketchy thug and the high price of $640.
Next he took me down the street to a place also on 18th & 3rd. This one was at the top of my price range at $650. It was on the second floor, but it was probably the biggest one I saw. The living room was HUGE. The current tenant has a couch and two chairs as well as a freakin’ dining room table in there along with her telly and other accoutrement. Next was a kitchen that beats the Stevens Community one. Lots of cabinets and decent counter space plus a GAS (apt-sized) stove. The fridge is tucked into a cubby across the hall where there is a built-in armoire next to the cute little bath with its soaking tub. There’re even storage shelves by the tub for towels, soap, etc. The bedroom is almost as big as my current one as was its closet. (There was also a closet in the living room. And there are ceiling fans in both the bedroom and the kitchen. I remember watching house hunting shows back in the day and people hated having ceiling fans in the bed room. With no a/c, I’m all for it. I hate being hot.
Tenants also get a free storage locker in the basement and there’s a place to lock one’s bike in the laundry room. The Stevens storage lockers were extra per month (can’t remember how much), but I don’t necessarily have to have one.
So I’m totally trying not to swoon over the Stevens place. It’s tough because I thought it was just that awesome. JAS, my landlords for that sweet exposed-brick unit I lived in the 1st time I moved to the Stevens neighborhood (and where Rev. Winter was my neighbor), is doing an Open House tour tomorrow showing studios and 1 bedrooms in their various buildings. I’ll see what they’re offering, but I may end up giving Jaimin a call tomorrow after (SC is open 10 – 6 Mon thru Sun) and putting in an app. I really really really loved Loved LOVED that apartment.
Must calm down. Breathe. Don’t be impulsive. I never even heard back from Gladstone or Hornig. And you know they’ve condo-ized the old building Rebecca & I used to live in (and Heide’s old building where the old guy lay dead for a couple weeks and the only response to complaints about a strange odor was car air fresheners placed in the hallways). All the granite counter tops in the world wouldn’t make BUY in that neighborhood.
So that’s day 1 of the apartment search. I already want this to be over.
Just saw a surprisingly nice carpeted garden level 1 bd @ 14 Oak Grove. It's called a 1+ because there are actually 3 rooms. The kitchen is kinda small with a little-ish fridge & an apt-size stove, but it's open and has a breakfast bar with lots of storage space under it. The living room has a built-in bookshelf and could handle my couch & table okay. There’s also a decorative radiator cover (she said something about the radiators not working down there?) which would work well as a TV stand, esp. since the cable hook up is right next to it. The next room is technically the bedroom because it has the largest window and a (large) closet, but it also has the bathroom (w/clawfoot tub!), so it'd be better suited as an office. Excellent for my computer, desk, bookshelves, yarn stash etc. Finally, there's a back room with a small window, but a huge closet. That room could easily handle my bed & little dresser and telly. Other notables: 1 more closet (next to front door), right across from the laundry room, free laundry, only unit on that level, extra storage, bars on front windows, other windows in a secure area, one month free w/12mo lease, flexible move-in. It's $620 which isn't bad. The ceilings are kinda low and while the bars might be nice, garden level still creeps me the heck out.
Ann (that was her name...and I can also speak with Diane w/questions) also showed me a couple top floor 1 bds w/hwd flrs. They were more expensive and smaller than the garden level. One is getting a similar kitchen remodel, but it was $660 & it gets a lot of freeway noise.
Now, I'm off to showing #2.
Showing #2 was awkward because there was another couple along for the view. I saw about 5 units in 3 bldgs, but I'm kinda mixing up units & bldgs at this point. The first was a studio on 15th & Spruce. It had nice dark wood trim, a Murphy bed (do not want, but it’s a kitschy feature), a smallish, but cute kitchen with built-ins & shelves, avg bath w/soaking tub, two closets & built-in linen storage. Nice, but still a studio.
I think we also looked at a 1 bd in that building, before heading to 215 W 15th, but I'm not sure. I do recall the 1 bd rooms having kitchens similar to the studio’s with built-ins & shelves. The fridges were in a little nook of the kitchen, kinda like my place at 203 19th. They had small closets, no ceiling fans, one had painted wood trim (boo). The one with unpainted trim was kinda dark, but it had a ceiling light in the living room. Also, the climb to the top floor which is where the painted trim one was was steep. Not so hot for moving long objects like queen mattresses, couches & bookshelves. Dark trim was on the 1st floor. Meh.
We then saw an apartment on the 2nd floor of 14th & Spruce. Very similar to the ones across the street, but the bathroom was in the bedroom of this on which always weirds me out since some folks are nosy. Not that I ever have people over, but it could happen. Also, he said there is concrete between the floors so less noise from neighbors. After that lead-footed a-hole above me at 18th & 1st, I’m weary of people above me on hardwoods. Some folks are thoughtless.
So those are contenders. I've been dodging dogshit for about 1 1/2 hours while waiting to meet with Stevens Community at 2:15. It's 2:05. Close enough my thumbs are cold.
Dammit! I might be in love. Running late. Details later.
Later details:
Since I had finished with The Park Apartments at like 11:45, I decided to try out the new Chinese/Indian buffet place across from Ping’s. It was decent, but I’ll stick to Richfield, thanks.
I was unable to find a City Pages or Onion on my way in, so I decided to check out Craigslist stuff on my phone to see if I might schedule more viewings while in the neighborhood. I left a message for the Gladstone, then decided to check out Stevens Community. The next time they could fit me in was 2:15, so I finished eating and wandered around Stevens for about an hour.
Jaimin was super nice and very fun to view apartments with. She only showed me two places, but she got a good read on what I was looking for. The first place was a 1 bedroom in the Blackstone building which is on the corner of 18th & 1st. Someone actually put in an application for that one after we came back from viewing the second place, so I won’t go on about that one. It was a really good size and pretty nice at $580. It had a dining room with wood wainscoting (I think that’s what it’s called.
Anyway, the next place she showed me was at 1800 – 3rd Ave S. It was on the top floor and I believe it was a corner unit. It was SUPER cute and I kind want to take it to the zoo and buy it ice cream. The living room is perfectly sized with good sized closet, lots of outlets, a ceiling fan, and cable/internet connection. Dark wood trim unpainted is a nice touch. Next is the kitchen which, although small, is A KITCHEN! There are cabinets up the wazoo and counterspace. I don’t even know what’s that’s like because I’ve never had it in an apartment I’ve lived in. The only problem I have with it is the stove (apartment sized—not one of the places I saw today had a regular sized stove) was electric. I really want a gas stove. Jaimin suggested I might be able to have them change it out, but I’m not sure how easy that is. Not a total deal breaker, but one of the few cons this apartment had.
Across the hall from the kitchen is a built-in armoire. Extra storage is always a plus. Next to the kitchen is the bath which has a modern sink with storage underneath, but I still get my soaking tub. Finally, the bedroom which would fit my queen and chest of drawers just fine. The closet could totally handle my clothes (especially if I give away/sell some of them) and I might even still be able to keep my shoes in their individual boxes as I like to do. (Although I do get that putting them into a couple plastic bins would save time and energy during the move.)
I loved Loved LOVED everything about that apartment (well, except that stupid stove). It’s on the higher end of my price range at $615 (I’d really like to stay under $625, $650 if it’s REALLY nice), but it’s so worth it, especially considering what I’m paying $675 (and what they will be charging $690) for now and considering everything else I saw today.
Even though I was hella tempted to put in an application (and did I mention how awesome Jaimin was? She was the most personable of all 4 of the folks who showed me apartments today). I did already have that appointment with Mint Properties and being impulsive has gotten me into apartment hell before, so I didn’t do it. (That doesn’t mean I might not call her tomorrow after my JAS tour.)
So I met Mint Properties guy at a sketchy ass building on 21st & 3rd. I’m no snob…well, actually, I kinda am…whatever. There was some strange old man standing in front of the building and I wondered at first if he was the person who was gonna show me places. Then some thuggish looking character came out and started trying to chat me up. Apartment Guy must have been waiting in his truck for me because he walked up almost right away (thankfully).
The places in this building were okay, but the kitchens were downright dinky. It’s like when building the place, they almost forgot they needed a place for a stove and a fridge and sink, so they knocked out a wall to stick those in. The floors weren’t even real hard wood. Those were pretty much a no from jumpstreet with the sketchy thug and the high price of $640.
Next he took me down the street to a place also on 18th & 3rd. This one was at the top of my price range at $650. It was on the second floor, but it was probably the biggest one I saw. The living room was HUGE. The current tenant has a couch and two chairs as well as a freakin’ dining room table in there along with her telly and other accoutrement. Next was a kitchen that beats the Stevens Community one. Lots of cabinets and decent counter space plus a GAS (apt-sized) stove. The fridge is tucked into a cubby across the hall where there is a built-in armoire next to the cute little bath with its soaking tub. There’re even storage shelves by the tub for towels, soap, etc. The bedroom is almost as big as my current one as was its closet. (There was also a closet in the living room. And there are ceiling fans in both the bedroom and the kitchen. I remember watching house hunting shows back in the day and people hated having ceiling fans in the bed room. With no a/c, I’m all for it. I hate being hot.
Tenants also get a free storage locker in the basement and there’s a place to lock one’s bike in the laundry room. The Stevens storage lockers were extra per month (can’t remember how much), but I don’t necessarily have to have one.
So I’m totally trying not to swoon over the Stevens place. It’s tough because I thought it was just that awesome. JAS, my landlords for that sweet exposed-brick unit I lived in the 1st time I moved to the Stevens neighborhood (and where Rev. Winter was my neighbor), is doing an Open House tour tomorrow showing studios and 1 bedrooms in their various buildings. I’ll see what they’re offering, but I may end up giving Jaimin a call tomorrow after (SC is open 10 – 6 Mon thru Sun) and putting in an app. I really really really loved Loved LOVED that apartment.
Must calm down. Breathe. Don’t be impulsive. I never even heard back from Gladstone or Hornig. And you know they’ve condo-ized the old building Rebecca & I used to live in (and Heide’s old building where the old guy lay dead for a couple weeks and the only response to complaints about a strange odor was car air fresheners placed in the hallways). All the granite counter tops in the world wouldn’t make BUY in that neighborhood.
So that’s day 1 of the apartment search. I already want this to be over.
Thursday, March 04, 2010
SVU: Beecher/Keller Forever Edition
Last night, fans of "Oz" got what they've been waiting for for over 7 years: a Beecher/Keller reunion on SVU. Was it worth it? Did it reach Oz-levels of homoeroticism? I'll let you know in a minute.
We got two episodes of the show last night now that Leno is no longer fouling up the 9 p. m. time slot. The first hour featured special guest star Kathy Griffin chomping up the scenery as some obnoxious lesbian activist who secretly loves men or some shit. I don't know. I came in at the half hour mark & I hate Kathy Griffin, but I did see that NBC chose to cut the not-so-hyped lesbian lip lock. Hmmm....
Having lost much interest in the show over the last few seasons, I wasn't even gonna watch the 2nd episode. The ballyhooing of special guest star Mischa Barton wasn't winning the show any points. However, what the hell else is on at that hour on a Wednesday?
The episode starts with a woman dressed like a hooker strolling down the street and being holla'ed at by some dude. I think he's offering to be her pimp. She blows him off and approaches some shadowy dude in a car. We next cut to her beaten and strangled corpse being looked at by the Dynamic Duo. They find a prayer card next to the body. Liv notes that another pro was killed in a similar manner and the same kind of card was left at that crime scene previously. Puzzled faces, credits, then commercials.
When we comeback, the squad is going over the evidence. It's here that I squealed with glee when I saw Lee Tergesen's name. Either you loved "Oz" and know exactly why that is fabulous or you don't give a shit, so I won't spend time telling you about the saga of Beecher & Keller.
(If you insist on knowing, go to Television Without Pity and read their "Oz" recaps, particularly starting with season 2.
Anyhoodle, I might have been lost in memories of hot man-on-man love (or running my bath), so I don't know exactly how we get to our red herring. (The dead hooker might have had a friend who knew Red Herring was a client.). The guy is some rich douche whose wife tried to break him of his past hooker habit through religious shaming. Hubby had a tough time with it & started asking wifey for some special favors. She was having none of it and I don't want to say SVU seemed to be excusing philandering with hookers by blaming prudish wives ("The mouth is not a proper receptacle for the seed") but I just said it, so there's that.
Since we haven't seen Ms. Barton yet & it's only about 20 minutes into the episode, you won't be surprised that Elliot's own shaming session with Red the Herring gets interrupted by news of another attack, but this time the victim is alive.
Do you know who that victim is? Do ya? Do ya? You can have an Oreo if you said Mischa Barton. She's sitting in an ambulance sort of refusing treatment while a bunch of other hookers yell at her not to tell the cops about almost being killed. Suddenly, a TV pimp shows up in the crowd and urges Mischa (hooker name: Sunshine) to keep her mouth shut. The detectives can't resist the urge to get in someone's face and act all badass, so while they're distracted threatening the pimp, Sunshine manages to hop into a car & flee the scene.
Back at the squad, research finds Sunshine (real name: Gladys) & her sad story in the system. Seems she was born to a drug addict and ended up in and out of foster care til she aged out. She's been being busted for hooking since she was 12 yeas old. Sad.
Our Duo track her to an aunt's house. Liv goes to harass Gladys about talking to them about her assault which is a common enough trope on this show, but I'm quite certain doesn't happen to rape victims too often in real life. At least, I hope not.
Liv sneers at the fact Gladys' aunt has only provided her niece an old couch in the corner of her daughters' bedroom on which to sleep. Crazily, Gladys is grateful to have a place to stay. How stupid is she, right?
Liv tries the empathy route, telling Gladys how she knows she was lured into prostitution by that smooth talking skeezeball pimp (who had a ridiculous TV pimp name like Silky or something, but I can’t remember what it was. Update: upon rewatching I learned the pimp's ridiculous name is Marmalade), claiming he wanted to show her a better life. Gladys breaks down and tells Liv about how he pretended to love her, then made her have sex with his friends, then told her she might as well get paid for it and suddenly she was a hooker…at 12! Gross.
Meanwhile, Elliot is in the kitchen insulting the hell out of Gladys' aunt. He accuses her of pimping Gladys out to help support her and her kids. Auntie, who has MS, basically tells him to go fuck himself. She says she took in her sister's kid despite her own difficulties & she don't have time for his accusatory bullshit.
I might have been turning off my bath water or heating up a Banquet frozen dinner because I can’t remember how we got to our next perp. Oh wait. I believe Liv’s guilt trip works on Gladys. She tells them that the john seemed all normal and nice, but them he got weird and asked if she was ready to meet her father. Then he started to strangle her. She passed out and came to with the cops there. She also mentions another pro who had an encounter with the murderous john.
They head to a diner to meet this other YOUNG lady who is about to tell them her story when Marmalade walks in. She tells her friend to wait for her outside while she goes to pay and the Dynamic Duo get in Marmalade's face once again. Before she leaves, Elliot hands her his card and she lays a napkin on the table and tells him to call her if he wants a good time because she loooooves cops. They pick up the napkin upon which the pro has drawn an AMAZING sketch of the perp. I suppose she did that at the register while she was paying. She needs to get off the streets and go to art school because she's kinda awesome.
I think they decided to do a sting to try to catch him. Alls I know is that the detectives end up at a scene where a young prostitute is struggling with some dude in a car. Elliot yanks the guy out and IT’S BEECHER!!! And I was super happy they were actually in a scene together because I was so sure that when Lee Tergesen finally did show up on SVU (after having appeared on both the other Law & Order incarnations…Trial by Jury does not count), the writers would be mean to us “Oz” fans and not give them any scenes together.
Anyway, Liv pulls the girl from the other side of the car and she tells them that Beecher asked her if she was ready to meet her father (*ding*) and started choking her, so she cut him. Beecher claims she attacked him, but Elliot presses him against the car, whisper-sneers something vaguely menacing in his ear, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Wow! That last part sounded like it could have been a scene from “Oz”.
Now, Elliot is questioning Beecher at the station. Beecher says he’s a minister who only wants to save the hookers from their lives of sin. He claims he didn’t kill them, only tried to talk to them about their evil, whorish ways. Elliot shows him the dead girls’ pictures and Beecher says he didn’t kill them, but whoever did sent them to heaven, so he really did them a favor.
Elliot decides to use Beecher’s religious zealotry to his advantage. He starts going on about confession and gets all handsy. Beecher grabs Elliot's arm and starts reciting some Bible prayer (I’m a heathen who was too caught up in the hoyay to pay attention to which one) and Beecher stands up. Now, he and Elliot stand face-to-face with their hands on each other’s shoulders, almost embracing. Then they touch their foreheads together while finishing the prayer and it almost looks like they are gonna kiss and I was totally giddy because that was such a freakin’ shout-out and I think I fell in love with SVU again. (It doesn’t hurt that Stephanie March appears to have returned to the show.) They finish the prayer and Beecher rejects Keller…I mean, Elliot’s advances by saying he won’t be confessing to him today.
*Sigh* I need a cold drink.
So now Liv has convinced Gladys to i.d. Beecher in a line-up. In the room with her and the detectives and ADA Cabott is Beecher’s lawyer (played by “The Wire” alum, Delaney Williams). The lawyer starts playing mind-games with Gladys telling her the cops will arrest her for prostitution because by identifying Beecher she is admitting to being a hooker. Or something.
The cops tell him to shut it and encourage Gladys to make her i.d. They have the line-up dudes say the line about meeting your father. Beecher is 3rd in line and he’s giving Gladys the evil eye. Gladys is wondering why he’s acting like he can see her. The cops reassure her and tell Beecher to say the line. Instead, he goes totally religious wackadoo and starts stalking towards the glass. Gladys freaks and says, “That’s him” and runs out of the room and into a stairwell. Liv goes after her just in time to see Gladys go tumbling down the stairs. Liv screams for a bus (SVU speak for an ambulance) and goes to Gladys’ aid. It’s now that Liv and the audience see that Gladys, who has shown a fondness for big clothes, is a little pregnant. Ruh-roh.
(I’m not so good at condensing these recaps.)
So now, Gladys is at the hospital and the Dynamic Duo are talking to her doctor who tells them Gladys and the baby are fine for now. They ask if they can talk to Gladys and try the old "she's our only witness in a murder investigation". The Doc is all she and her baby are still alive and I plan to keep them that way and then he awesomely saunters right out of the room without glancing back. Why the hell don’t more people do that on this show (and the other L&Os as well)? Most times, the minute the detectives mention getting a warrant people are ready to hand over their first born.
Gladys is telling the detectives that she’s gonna change her life now. She’s gonna stop hooking, so that she can take care of herself and her baby the right way. Liv and Elliot start badgering her to give her baby up for adoption, but Gladys is having none of it. Gladys’ aunt shows up and freaks out upon learning about the pregnancy. Elliot decides to beat up on Gladys’ aunt some more. Again, he accuses her of essentially pimping Gladys and contributing to Gladys’ situation. She tells him to piss off and kicks them out of Gladys’ hospital room.
The next day (?) Alex goes to court to get Beecher held over for trial. His lawyer argues that the i.d. should be thrown out because Gladys didn’t really i.d. his client. Alex points out that Gladys flipped because of his client’s antics. The judge sides with Alex and Beecher is remanded without bail.
Back at the station, Alex explains to Liv that they’ll need Gladys to testify, so Liv should become her new best friend. Liv goes over to the aunt’s place with baby gifts, but the aunt has tossed Gladys out. Liv generously offers Auntie a new guilt trip about kicking out her pregnant niece. The aunt breaks down, explaining that she is just a single mom trying to raise her own two kids on her disability and she just couldn’t fathom taking on Gladys and a new baby. She has no idea where Gladys might be. Liv looks disgusted.
Fin (hey, Ice-T) finds a Craigslist ad Sunshine has placed offering her services. The TARU dude finds a response and the detectives head over and bust in on two frat rats. They find Gladys passed out in a bedroom. Her water has broken and then she has a seizure. Time for another bus.
At the hospital, a doctor tells them they performed an emergency C-section. The baby is only 1 pound and has a plethora of medical problems. The doctor says the kid has between a 17 and 40% chance of surviving and that’s with a gang of expense surgeries and she would likely be blind, deaf, and/or have cerebral palsy. Liv asks if the doc is saying they shouldn’t try any heroic measures and the doc basically says no, much to Elliot “Family Man” Stabler’s chagrin.
At the squad, the Dynamic Duo have a fight about what should be done about the baby. Alex comes in and interrupts it, so Elliot stalks off. Alex explains that Gladys will need to appear at a new ID hearing to make sure Beecher stays in jail and is held over for trial. Liv doesn’t think she’ll want to leave her baby. Alex says if Gladys won’t do it, then Liv should arrest her…for prostitution. Hey, didn’t someone tell Gladys that the cops were gonna arrest her? Who was that?
Oh well. Liv doesn’t want to do it, but she heads off to the hospital anyway. She finds Gladys in the NICU lovingly staring at her baby. Liv tries to gently coax her, but Gladys does not want to leave her kid who could die any moment. (Never mind the fact that she JUST had a baby, like, hours ago.) When Gladys won’t budge, Liv decides to arrest her.
Now we’re at the hearing the next day. Justice is conveniently swift. I’d swear it’s only been like 5 days since they even found the first body. I imagine there are thousands of folks in county jails all over the U.S. who wish our court systems actually worked like this.
Anywayz, Gladys is on the stand being questioned by Alex about her attack. Alex gets her to lay out the details then hands her off to Beecher’s lawyer. He decides to go the “blame the victim” route continuously calling her a prostitute and referring to her by her hooker name. He says his client is the victim which causes Gladys to bug out. She barks that Beecher is the one who tried to kill her and did kill at least two other women. This outburst causes Beecher to bust out his crazy, and he starts screaming about her being a whore. He gets dragged out of the courtroom and seemingly off to Oswald to get his ass branded by a Nazi who will trick him into falling in love with a homicidal sex demon who will break his heart which will drive him to orchestrate the overdose death of the Nazi’s son and to cat-claw a guard to death all of which will lead to the murder of his own son and some serious Beecher whoring around. Awww, I loved that show.
After the hearing, Gladys is all sad and tells Liv the lawyer was right about her and what will she tell her daughter. Liv tells her that she will do the right thing when the time comes. Gladys cries and gives Liv a big old hug.
Later that evening, Captain Cragen comes by Liv’s apartment with a letter that was dropped off at the squad for her. Some legal document naming LIV the legal guardian of Gladys' damn baby along with a letter from Gladys about leaving to soul search and find herself or some such. Liv looks stunned. Me too.
We’re not done. Later, Liv gets a call from the hospital. Something’s wrong with her new ward. The doctors need her to authorize an operation. Liv stands there with her mouth hanging open for two hours while the doctor keeps trying to get an answer from her.
And then we go to credits because SVU is cowardly.
Damn that was long. It’s been a while since I delved into some SVU like that, but the Beecher/Keller reunion could not be passed up.
Long live Beecher/Keller!!! xoxo
We got two episodes of the show last night now that Leno is no longer fouling up the 9 p. m. time slot. The first hour featured special guest star Kathy Griffin chomping up the scenery as some obnoxious lesbian activist who secretly loves men or some shit. I don't know. I came in at the half hour mark & I hate Kathy Griffin, but I did see that NBC chose to cut the not-so-hyped lesbian lip lock. Hmmm....
Having lost much interest in the show over the last few seasons, I wasn't even gonna watch the 2nd episode. The ballyhooing of special guest star Mischa Barton wasn't winning the show any points. However, what the hell else is on at that hour on a Wednesday?
The episode starts with a woman dressed like a hooker strolling down the street and being holla'ed at by some dude. I think he's offering to be her pimp. She blows him off and approaches some shadowy dude in a car. We next cut to her beaten and strangled corpse being looked at by the Dynamic Duo. They find a prayer card next to the body. Liv notes that another pro was killed in a similar manner and the same kind of card was left at that crime scene previously. Puzzled faces, credits, then commercials.
When we comeback, the squad is going over the evidence. It's here that I squealed with glee when I saw Lee Tergesen's name. Either you loved "Oz" and know exactly why that is fabulous or you don't give a shit, so I won't spend time telling you about the saga of Beecher & Keller.
(If you insist on knowing, go to Television Without Pity and read their "Oz" recaps, particularly starting with season 2.
Anyhoodle, I might have been lost in memories of hot man-on-man love (or running my bath), so I don't know exactly how we get to our red herring. (The dead hooker might have had a friend who knew Red Herring was a client.). The guy is some rich douche whose wife tried to break him of his past hooker habit through religious shaming. Hubby had a tough time with it & started asking wifey for some special favors. She was having none of it and I don't want to say SVU seemed to be excusing philandering with hookers by blaming prudish wives ("The mouth is not a proper receptacle for the seed") but I just said it, so there's that.
Since we haven't seen Ms. Barton yet & it's only about 20 minutes into the episode, you won't be surprised that Elliot's own shaming session with Red the Herring gets interrupted by news of another attack, but this time the victim is alive.
Do you know who that victim is? Do ya? Do ya? You can have an Oreo if you said Mischa Barton. She's sitting in an ambulance sort of refusing treatment while a bunch of other hookers yell at her not to tell the cops about almost being killed. Suddenly, a TV pimp shows up in the crowd and urges Mischa (hooker name: Sunshine) to keep her mouth shut. The detectives can't resist the urge to get in someone's face and act all badass, so while they're distracted threatening the pimp, Sunshine manages to hop into a car & flee the scene.
Back at the squad, research finds Sunshine (real name: Gladys) & her sad story in the system. Seems she was born to a drug addict and ended up in and out of foster care til she aged out. She's been being busted for hooking since she was 12 yeas old. Sad.
Our Duo track her to an aunt's house. Liv goes to harass Gladys about talking to them about her assault which is a common enough trope on this show, but I'm quite certain doesn't happen to rape victims too often in real life. At least, I hope not.
Liv sneers at the fact Gladys' aunt has only provided her niece an old couch in the corner of her daughters' bedroom on which to sleep. Crazily, Gladys is grateful to have a place to stay. How stupid is she, right?
Liv tries the empathy route, telling Gladys how she knows she was lured into prostitution by that smooth talking skeezeball pimp (who had a ridiculous TV pimp name like Silky or something, but I can’t remember what it was. Update: upon rewatching I learned the pimp's ridiculous name is Marmalade), claiming he wanted to show her a better life. Gladys breaks down and tells Liv about how he pretended to love her, then made her have sex with his friends, then told her she might as well get paid for it and suddenly she was a hooker…at 12! Gross.
Meanwhile, Elliot is in the kitchen insulting the hell out of Gladys' aunt. He accuses her of pimping Gladys out to help support her and her kids. Auntie, who has MS, basically tells him to go fuck himself. She says she took in her sister's kid despite her own difficulties & she don't have time for his accusatory bullshit.
I might have been turning off my bath water or heating up a Banquet frozen dinner because I can’t remember how we got to our next perp. Oh wait. I believe Liv’s guilt trip works on Gladys. She tells them that the john seemed all normal and nice, but them he got weird and asked if she was ready to meet her father. Then he started to strangle her. She passed out and came to with the cops there. She also mentions another pro who had an encounter with the murderous john.
They head to a diner to meet this other YOUNG lady who is about to tell them her story when Marmalade walks in. She tells her friend to wait for her outside while she goes to pay and the Dynamic Duo get in Marmalade's face once again. Before she leaves, Elliot hands her his card and she lays a napkin on the table and tells him to call her if he wants a good time because she loooooves cops. They pick up the napkin upon which the pro has drawn an AMAZING sketch of the perp. I suppose she did that at the register while she was paying. She needs to get off the streets and go to art school because she's kinda awesome.
I think they decided to do a sting to try to catch him. Alls I know is that the detectives end up at a scene where a young prostitute is struggling with some dude in a car. Elliot yanks the guy out and IT’S BEECHER!!! And I was super happy they were actually in a scene together because I was so sure that when Lee Tergesen finally did show up on SVU (after having appeared on both the other Law & Order incarnations…Trial by Jury does not count), the writers would be mean to us “Oz” fans and not give them any scenes together.
Anyway, Liv pulls the girl from the other side of the car and she tells them that Beecher asked her if she was ready to meet her father (*ding*) and started choking her, so she cut him. Beecher claims she attacked him, but Elliot presses him against the car, whisper-sneers something vaguely menacing in his ear, and cuffs his hands behind his back. Wow! That last part sounded like it could have been a scene from “Oz”.
Now, Elliot is questioning Beecher at the station. Beecher says he’s a minister who only wants to save the hookers from their lives of sin. He claims he didn’t kill them, only tried to talk to them about their evil, whorish ways. Elliot shows him the dead girls’ pictures and Beecher says he didn’t kill them, but whoever did sent them to heaven, so he really did them a favor.
Elliot decides to use Beecher’s religious zealotry to his advantage. He starts going on about confession and gets all handsy. Beecher grabs Elliot's arm and starts reciting some Bible prayer (I’m a heathen who was too caught up in the hoyay to pay attention to which one) and Beecher stands up. Now, he and Elliot stand face-to-face with their hands on each other’s shoulders, almost embracing. Then they touch their foreheads together while finishing the prayer and it almost looks like they are gonna kiss and I was totally giddy because that was such a freakin’ shout-out and I think I fell in love with SVU again. (It doesn’t hurt that Stephanie March appears to have returned to the show.) They finish the prayer and Beecher rejects Keller…I mean, Elliot’s advances by saying he won’t be confessing to him today.
*Sigh* I need a cold drink.
So now Liv has convinced Gladys to i.d. Beecher in a line-up. In the room with her and the detectives and ADA Cabott is Beecher’s lawyer (played by “The Wire” alum, Delaney Williams). The lawyer starts playing mind-games with Gladys telling her the cops will arrest her for prostitution because by identifying Beecher she is admitting to being a hooker. Or something.
The cops tell him to shut it and encourage Gladys to make her i.d. They have the line-up dudes say the line about meeting your father. Beecher is 3rd in line and he’s giving Gladys the evil eye. Gladys is wondering why he’s acting like he can see her. The cops reassure her and tell Beecher to say the line. Instead, he goes totally religious wackadoo and starts stalking towards the glass. Gladys freaks and says, “That’s him” and runs out of the room and into a stairwell. Liv goes after her just in time to see Gladys go tumbling down the stairs. Liv screams for a bus (SVU speak for an ambulance) and goes to Gladys’ aid. It’s now that Liv and the audience see that Gladys, who has shown a fondness for big clothes, is a little pregnant. Ruh-roh.
(I’m not so good at condensing these recaps.)
So now, Gladys is at the hospital and the Dynamic Duo are talking to her doctor who tells them Gladys and the baby are fine for now. They ask if they can talk to Gladys and try the old "she's our only witness in a murder investigation". The Doc is all she and her baby are still alive and I plan to keep them that way and then he awesomely saunters right out of the room without glancing back. Why the hell don’t more people do that on this show (and the other L&Os as well)? Most times, the minute the detectives mention getting a warrant people are ready to hand over their first born.
Gladys is telling the detectives that she’s gonna change her life now. She’s gonna stop hooking, so that she can take care of herself and her baby the right way. Liv and Elliot start badgering her to give her baby up for adoption, but Gladys is having none of it. Gladys’ aunt shows up and freaks out upon learning about the pregnancy. Elliot decides to beat up on Gladys’ aunt some more. Again, he accuses her of essentially pimping Gladys and contributing to Gladys’ situation. She tells him to piss off and kicks them out of Gladys’ hospital room.
The next day (?) Alex goes to court to get Beecher held over for trial. His lawyer argues that the i.d. should be thrown out because Gladys didn’t really i.d. his client. Alex points out that Gladys flipped because of his client’s antics. The judge sides with Alex and Beecher is remanded without bail.
Back at the station, Alex explains to Liv that they’ll need Gladys to testify, so Liv should become her new best friend. Liv goes over to the aunt’s place with baby gifts, but the aunt has tossed Gladys out. Liv generously offers Auntie a new guilt trip about kicking out her pregnant niece. The aunt breaks down, explaining that she is just a single mom trying to raise her own two kids on her disability and she just couldn’t fathom taking on Gladys and a new baby. She has no idea where Gladys might be. Liv looks disgusted.
Fin (hey, Ice-T) finds a Craigslist ad Sunshine has placed offering her services. The TARU dude finds a response and the detectives head over and bust in on two frat rats. They find Gladys passed out in a bedroom. Her water has broken and then she has a seizure. Time for another bus.
At the hospital, a doctor tells them they performed an emergency C-section. The baby is only 1 pound and has a plethora of medical problems. The doctor says the kid has between a 17 and 40% chance of surviving and that’s with a gang of expense surgeries and she would likely be blind, deaf, and/or have cerebral palsy. Liv asks if the doc is saying they shouldn’t try any heroic measures and the doc basically says no, much to Elliot “Family Man” Stabler’s chagrin.
At the squad, the Dynamic Duo have a fight about what should be done about the baby. Alex comes in and interrupts it, so Elliot stalks off. Alex explains that Gladys will need to appear at a new ID hearing to make sure Beecher stays in jail and is held over for trial. Liv doesn’t think she’ll want to leave her baby. Alex says if Gladys won’t do it, then Liv should arrest her…for prostitution. Hey, didn’t someone tell Gladys that the cops were gonna arrest her? Who was that?
Oh well. Liv doesn’t want to do it, but she heads off to the hospital anyway. She finds Gladys in the NICU lovingly staring at her baby. Liv tries to gently coax her, but Gladys does not want to leave her kid who could die any moment. (Never mind the fact that she JUST had a baby, like, hours ago.) When Gladys won’t budge, Liv decides to arrest her.
Now we’re at the hearing the next day. Justice is conveniently swift. I’d swear it’s only been like 5 days since they even found the first body. I imagine there are thousands of folks in county jails all over the U.S. who wish our court systems actually worked like this.
Anywayz, Gladys is on the stand being questioned by Alex about her attack. Alex gets her to lay out the details then hands her off to Beecher’s lawyer. He decides to go the “blame the victim” route continuously calling her a prostitute and referring to her by her hooker name. He says his client is the victim which causes Gladys to bug out. She barks that Beecher is the one who tried to kill her and did kill at least two other women. This outburst causes Beecher to bust out his crazy, and he starts screaming about her being a whore. He gets dragged out of the courtroom and seemingly off to Oswald to get his ass branded by a Nazi who will trick him into falling in love with a homicidal sex demon who will break his heart which will drive him to orchestrate the overdose death of the Nazi’s son and to cat-claw a guard to death all of which will lead to the murder of his own son and some serious Beecher whoring around. Awww, I loved that show.
After the hearing, Gladys is all sad and tells Liv the lawyer was right about her and what will she tell her daughter. Liv tells her that she will do the right thing when the time comes. Gladys cries and gives Liv a big old hug.
Later that evening, Captain Cragen comes by Liv’s apartment with a letter that was dropped off at the squad for her. Some legal document naming LIV the legal guardian of Gladys' damn baby along with a letter from Gladys about leaving to soul search and find herself or some such. Liv looks stunned. Me too.
We’re not done. Later, Liv gets a call from the hospital. Something’s wrong with her new ward. The doctors need her to authorize an operation. Liv stands there with her mouth hanging open for two hours while the doctor keeps trying to get an answer from her.
And then we go to credits because SVU is cowardly.
Damn that was long. It’s been a while since I delved into some SVU like that, but the Beecher/Keller reunion could not be passed up.
Long live Beecher/Keller!!! xoxo
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