I must look like a sucker

Man, people tried to screw me outta money THREE times yesterday. As of this writing one was successful because I only noticed I got screwed this morning. So first, I went to my usual spot for my pre-Office lunch. There was some special event happening on the South side, so I decided to go to the fancier North side. It was nice and just as tasty and I ate good and off I went to pay. Well, when the guy rang me up, he charged me for two people. I said I was by myself and he gave me the side-eye. Dude, only ONE time have I ever been there with someone else (Hey, Rebecca!) and he wasn't even there that day. Anyway, the waitress confirmed that I was alone, so he said he give me back the difference in cash since he'd already swiped my card. He then hurriedly gave me some cash and I boogied outta there. But then I realized that he had shorted me $5. So I had to go back and let him know. He was nice about it and I don't think he was really TRYING to screw me over. It was just busy and confusing because all the people who were supposed to be going over to whatever was happening on the South side kept coming to the North side first and had to be shown over to the other one. Moving on. Then, I went up to CVS to see if they have these new Mattifying products I saw on YouTube. They did not, but that had a few other items on sale for 50% or 75% off. I picked up a back-up of my Nearly Naked foundation ($2.49 after the 75% off), a CG mascara ($4.49 after 50% off), and a couple of Rimmel lip glosses ($5.29 before 75% off). The lip glosses were ring up at the regular price, so the guy tried to do the math in his head and said he'd just charge me $2.50. Yeah, 75% of $5.29 is NOT $2.50, son. I whipped out my handy iPod calculator and tallied it up and they were $1.63 each. Handled. So finally, I decided to get my vape on. Jen finally convinced me that it's the way to go. Well, Jen and having to step outside to the frosty cold uncovered, unheated patio at the Cabooze. So I went to the eCig Crib on Lyndale. I tasted all sorts of vapors and bought the cheapest kit I could. Blah blah blah. Anyway, I was fiddling around with it this morning and I was trying to figure out info the extra tank I bought. I grabbed the receipt to figure out the name, and lo and behold, I was charged for 2 juices instead of one. Ugh! The receipt has a big ole ALL SALE FINAL, but I didn't get two juices, so that wasn't a sale. So now I have to go back over there today and see if they'll refund the difference or give me a second juice since it's already on the card. Yeah, I think this is karma because I found $20 just lying in an aisle at work on Friday.

So Ben Stein wrote this: "Apparently the White House referred to Christmas Trees as Holiday Trees for the first time this year, which prompted CBS presenter, Ben Stein, to present this piece which I would like to share with you. The following was written by Ben Ste...in and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary. My confession: I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejewelled trees, Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are, Christmas trees. It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a nativity scene, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away. I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from, that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat. Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship celebrities and we aren't allowed to worship God? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where these celebrities came from and where the America we knew went to. In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking. Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Hurricane Katrina). Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives.And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?' In light of recent events... terrorist attacks, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found a few years ago) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK. Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill; thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK. Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave, because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said okay. Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves. Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.' Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace. Are you laughing yet? Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it. Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us. Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not, then just discard it.... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what a bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards, Honestly and respectfully, Ben Stein" Sigh. Boy, do I get sick of hearing about Christians being "pushed around". A bunch of people are butt-hurt because the White House called it a daggone "holiday" tree. Who cares? Put up your own tree in your own house and call it whatev...er the fuck you want. Yeah, it isn't necessary to get all bent out of shape about someone saying "Merry Christmas", but please know, it is equally unnecessary to get all bent out of shape about someone NOT saying it. This constant whining about people trying to take their religion away is ridiculous. It's amazing how they can't see that no one is telling them what they can worship, but taking religion out of schools and the government and workplaces is in no way denying one his/her right to practice pretty much whatever the hell they want WITHIN THEIR PRIVATE LIVES. And this business about God "stepping aside" because we don't want him in schools and shit? That's kinda of a dick move on His part, if you ask me. He's not getting enough attention so He throws a weather-tantrum that kills thousands of people? Yeah, fuck that Guy. Oh, but wait, we are only supposed to give glory to God for every good thing that happens in our lives or in the world, but despite Him (allegedly) being the ultimate CREATOR, we aren't allowed to give him a hard side-eye when shit goes pear-shaped. Since many of these people also think science is a crock of shit, they must realize that their BFF God is the one who created those hurricanes, tornados, earthquakes, and sunamis that keep messing up people's lives.

Back to the Kindle

I love my iPad. I really, really, really do. But that sumbitch is as heavy as a textbook (a paperback text book, not a hardcover) and because I didn't get one of them fancy 3G (or are they 4G?) ones, it isn't always the most convenient device. Sooooooo, I have been toying with the idea of getting a new Kindle. I was considering one of the regular old ereader one, but I remembered my love for the Fire. I decided to peruse Craigslist to see what folks were offering. Not much. Then I got the bright idea to check ebay and lo and behold, I WON AN EBAY AUCTION! I'm getting myself a (*mint condition, barely used*) Kindle for just $71.00 and free shipping. I sold my old Kindle for less, so I don't feel too bad. The seller I bought from has sold a number of items and has 99.9% approval rating from customers, so I'm feeling pretty good about it.

Okay, cupid

So I went on my first OKCupid date. It went well for the most part, but I won't be seeing the guy again. I think he lost me when he told me he was an unemployed, bipolar insomniac. We met at Spyhouse for coffee first which is where I learned that he like to talk A Lot. I think it was maybe a little nervousness, but it was a bit overwhelming. We then went and had dinner at Peninsula. He's fancies himself a foodie and told me about a lot of places he's eaten at in the TC. That was all interesting, but he didn't really engage me in conversation. Whenever I'd speak he's do that "yeah", "uh huh" thing, but like at weird points which made it seem like he wasn't even listening. Anyway, so I've done it and it wasn't terrible. Now maybe I'll meet someone I actually like.

Hair chronicles

I am for serious considering going bald. Not like I am currently balding. Okay, I'm not balding, but the areas where I have lost hair don't seem to be responding to biotin and castor oil. I'm starting to get over it. The weekly prepooing and washing and cowashing and deep conditining and LOCing are just a hassle. Maybe I'm just being impatient. I am seeing a bit of fuzz in some areas and the rest of my hair is growing and feels thicker, but I don't know if I'll be rocking a big fro anytime soon.

Protecting the babies

Yeah, so this happened. While I appreciate the security guard's "concern for the children", it's hard not to think this is maybe a little bit rooted in some bigoted thinking. The article doesn't say how long the SG (or the concerned customer) observed the family or what this father and the girls were doing, so it's hard to say whether s/he had a real reason to think this guy and those kids did not "fit" other than, "What's that white guy doing with those black kids (I know they are mixed-race, but that probably isn't how the customer and the SG saw it)? I'd need more info before I'm prepared to give the customer, the security guard or Walmart a cookie. People in the comments seem to be assuming the SG and/or the customer are white people (not that anyone has out and out said that, so I guess I'm assuming people assume that). I had an older black woman approach me at the DMV I worked at once to tell me to "keep an eye" on the older white guy who was sitting talking to a young black girl in our waiting area. Turns out the guy was the girl's mother's boyfriend and they were waiting for the mom to finish the test. The nosy older black lady wasn't around to find that out though. And this is gonna sound strange (maybe even creepy), but I have actually thought to myself, "It would be fairly easy for some perv to snatch a kid in a store or mall." Here's my thinking. I imagine most folks are like me and will look away when they see a kid screaming or crying . One almost automatically assumes that kid is having a tantrum and because we don't want to come off as judgmental assholes we will look ANYWHERE ELSE to avoid eye-contact with the parent/guardian/oldersibling/whoever with the little screamer. Unless the kid is articulating, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY! STRANGER! CREEP!" to the guy grabbing at his or her arm, we roll our eyes and think, "Spoiled brat" when we hear the kid telling the adult to leave her/him alone. I'm not saying everyone does this, but I think a good chunk of us do and I think (I hope!) a good chunk of the time, the situation is a kid (and a parent) having a bad day. However, it terrifies me to think that I would look away from a situation, only to discover later that the kid I mentally called a brat was actually trying to wriggle away from some creep and I didn't help.

My newest place

I'm all moved in. Damian, Rebecca, Melanie (yay!!!), and Heide were super-troopers who got up all crazy-early and helped me. We got started moving out of Stevens at about 10 and were done at just about 11:45. The inspector guy showed up and BARELY freakin' looked at all my hard work. I don't think he even opened the oven door. Bastards!!! He said everything was fine and that I needn't even worry about the window screen not being replaced. (Side note: Despite many scary dreams about my air conditioner crashing to the ground below, I was able to successfully remove it all by myself...and nary a bird came swooping in before when I did.) So I'll be looking for my FULL security deposit plus interest and the $5.50 in laundry tokens I turned in. Anyhoodle, because the prior tenant didn't move out until Monday evening (at which time Sabrina kindly drove me over to pick up keys and drop off groceries because she's awesome like that), painting and carpet cleaning couldn't be done until Tuesday morning. Jimmy asked that I wait until after one to give things time to dry. We parked the truck in the lot out back and went to the Uptowner for some much-needed chow. We started the move in at just before 1:30 and were done just before 2. Amazeballs! So far I have only really completely unpacked the kitchen and sorta the bathroom. The hardest part is the living room. I still have all of my movies in books in boxes because I don't want to shelve them until I know for sure where I want to couch and the bookcases and that stupid coffee table (which I should probably get rid of because it' is old and ugly and too big for this room. Perhaps a trip to Ikea is in order. I would be fine with a couple of the little Lack tables pushed together. But whateves.) I also need to tackle the Tupperwares full of clothing in the bedroom. And I still have a bin full of yarn that I need to go through and get rid of. As for the apartment, my upstairs neighbors are some hard-walking sons of so-and-so's. They are a family with a couple of small kids and the kids like to run around. Fortunately, from the sounds of things, the family is gone until about 6:30ish and the kids are put to bed around 8. I guess it's better than booming stereos or yappin-ass dogs. Also, because I'm right by the rear door, I get door slamming (like that one). The prior tenant did the most perfunctory cleaning. The blinds are dirty, the stove was a hot mess (I have spend $30 on drip pans this week), the a/c is dirty, there are still cobwebs on the ceiling and holes several doors. Maybe if I hadn't been in such a rush to move, the place MIGHT have been cleaned. I suspect not though. I took pictures of E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G!!! I am sending them back with my Move-In inspection form (and the prior tenants Move-Out form which was left on the kitchen counter (soooooo, not so much with the inspection). Frankly, his was nice to have as a guide. I was hoping to change the showerhead in my place. I went to Ace to see about getting some kind of adapter and Tom the older guy thought it could be done. I had to return with the showerhead and the replacement shower thingy (and since I had left my wallet on my quest for food, it didn't matter). We thought we were in good, but then he consulted with some other dude (whom I was totally like, "I've seen you before" and only JUST NOW realized I recognized him from Gringos just this past weekend) who was like you have to detach the thingy from the wall. I showed them my pictures of the thing and they said I'd probably have to have my landlords change it. I still feel like I should be able to get some kind of adapter. Gonna try a different Ace and/or Menards. Speaking of Menards, I want to get a couple of wood slaps to create shelves for under the kitchen sink and possibly a longer one to create a shelf to run cupboard-to-cupboard up top. I have managed to shove everything in the space I have for the most part, but I could tweak it. Right now my computer desk is on the wall below the a/c. I might move it the wall facing out the window (where I had it initially. Right now, that space is held up by boxes I want to put in my storage unit, but that has some of the prior tenants stuff in it. I sent my first maintenance request this morning. My smoke detector is not working, there are broken blinds in the bedroom, the stuff in the storage locker, and the dirty a/c. Now, some might say I should just replace the battery in the smoke detector (I'm pretty sure that's the problem), block the hole in the blinds, remove the stuff in the locker (actually, that's exactly what Jimmy suggested) and clean the a/c myself. Except, I paid a month and a half's worth of security deposit. I should not be responsible for even the little shit because this should have been handled. Again, it might have been had I not moved in so quickly, but I'm here and I want it taken care of now. So I'm sending off my first rent payment and Prior Tenant's Move-Out sheet today. Later, Melanie and I are gonna have some chow and hit the Walker because she's in town and I've never been to the Walker and it sounds like fun. Right now. I'm bout to get this bedroom and living room organized. Lates.

Lost and Found

So I did find a different place and I was accepted, even with my rental history. They asked for the regular security deposit (one month's rent) plus an additional half month's rent. Not nearly as bad. It is still financially tough. Now, I'm just anxious about when the current tenant will get the hell out. According to Jimmy the property manager, the guy hasn't been around much. When I viewed the place he still had a few pieces of furniture in there and some dishes. I have to call Jimmy again this Wednesday to find out if this guy is gone yet. If he isn't out before the 30th, I don't know what I'll do. I have to be out of here by noon that day. So much stuff to stress about.

My newest hurdle

So I finally called the management company to check the status of my rental application (after not having heard from them after two weeks). Apparently, they are only willing to accept my application if I'm willing to pay the first and the last TWO MONTHS of rent! Over $2,000!!! Who does that? First and last would be difficult, but why the hell are they asking for three months? I mean, I get it. My rental payment history is not perfect, but it's imperfect in that I end up paying LATE. And by LATE, I mean a few days, maybe a week. This is mostly because of our wacky pay schedule. The thing is I do PAY! I have never skipped out on a lease or been evicted or even come close to being evicted. When I mentioned this, the woman (who was not the ultimate decision-maker) said it was because of a negative rental reference, i.e. SCA choosing not to renew my lease. This makes me wonder if I am missing something else here as to why my lease isn't being renewed. Truth is I never asked once I got the letter. I just assumed it was because of the late payments. I can't imagine what else it would be. I'm not noisy. My apartment's a bit messy, but it's not a garbage house. As far as I know, no one has made any kind of complaints about me being noisy or a problem neighbor, so what's the deal? This just seems so unfair and vaguely suspicious. To ask someone for three months of rent in advance just seems sketchy, but I really don't have the time to try to find something else. And the inventory being what it is, I might not even find anything else. This all sucks in so many different ways. Off I got to Craigslist to see if anything else strikes me. Ugh! I kinda wanna cry!!!!

My New Apartment Question Mark

Unlike the last time I was apartment hunting, this is more being forced on me so my enthusiasm is kinda low. I haven't really been INTO looking at places. I truly am not happy about having to move, but I have trouble sometimes make the regular rent let alone what they are raising it too. It sucks that I am now gonna have a smaller place and still have to pay more in rent. That is assuming I get it. They could reject me what with my payment history being all crappy. I really hope not because I just do not want to look anymore. I have settled and I'm actually fine with it. So let me tell you about it. It's on 25th & Pillsbury which is actually a nice neighborhood. It's two blocks off the 17 and the 18 buslines and not terribly far from Lake Street or Lyndale either. It's a 1 bedroom on the 3rd aka top floor (next door to the property manager, in fact). Next are some of the things that I do LOVE about it. Number 1: THE CLOSETS! OMG!!! THE CLOSETS!!! There are two HUGE closets in the bedroom (essentially, one wall is the closets), plus a large coat/linen closet in the hallway. Number 2: Gas stove! I have wanted a gas stove forever (or since the last apartment I moved from that had a gas stove, so since about 2006). It's an apartment-size stove, but at this point I'm, like, whatevs! Number 3: A ceiling fan in my bedroom. Since the a/c is in the living room, I hope that a ceiling fan in the bedroom combined with a window fan will keep me cool during those dreaded summer nights. Numbers 4: the fancy sink in the bathroom. I just really like it. I should hear back sometime within the next 2 weeks (please don't let it take longer than that, especially if it's a no because that means the search isn't over).

On the move (again), but not so much by choice this time

So I have to move. Yes, HAVE to move. I was informed by SCA that they have chosen not to renew my lease. I suspect that is because I have been having financial troubles which means I have been paying my rent late. Please know: it gets PAID with additional late fee no less, but it has been late the last few months. You see remember a few months ago when I was all excited about the prospect of buying a house and then I went to that thing at the convention center and that guy took one look at my credit report and basically said, "AS IF!!!"? Well, that got me all fired up to get my credit straigtened out. So I contacted several of my creditors and made payment arrangements. Those payments take a HUGE chunk out of my monthly income, and not to lay it all on the feet of paying bills, I must admit that my failure to curb my dining-out habit and other spending has not helped. But in my defense, another problem is our wonky pay schedule at the State. We get paid every two weeks which means I might get paid on say the 1st, the 15th and the 29th one month, but another (like say this one and next month) on the 8th and the 22nd. That means my rent check is the one that comes on the 8th which makes rent 5 days late). Now, you're probably thinking, well then pay you rent with your 22nd check. That would work, but then I have no funds to cover the automatic withdrawals from my creditors that I have prearranged to come out specifically in the middle of the month because I thought that would be easier. Since I was born, raised and continued to be a poor black child with terrible money management skills, I live paycheck to paycheck and don't have any reserves that would allow me to pay my rent and bills on time the right way. Well, none of that matters so much now. I have to move and now I have two months to find a place and this is going to make the $$$ situation worse because I now have to pay application fees and security deposits and first-month's rent (possibly even first and last because that might be my only option without a co-signer) and I also have to worry about being rejected because of a negative rental history because of my late payments and terrible credit report. And let me tell you, I am already worried about what I might be able to find because YIKES!!! The rental market has passed me by. I have been looking at places on Craigslist as well as visiting sites for buildings I've lived in before and man, have things changed. I won't lie, I suspect another reason I'm getting the boot is because they are about to bump the rent up crazy-high. I mean, my place is pretty damn sweet (which is why I'm actually bummed that I have to move). Remember when I was searching last time? I got everything on my wishlist EXCEPT a gas stove. My clawfoot tub, my wood floors, top floor, lots of storage. Plus stuff I didn't as for like dark wood trim and lots of windows (and annoying neighbor dog and radiators with a mind of their own and centipedes, but I digress). This time around I don't even know what I want. I think I might go more "modern" this time. Carpet, a/c, definitely an electric stove. Not sure about what neighborhood. Truth is my neighbor's barky little bugger and dodging dog crap all around the way doesn't make Stevens appealing to me anymore. I can go for a Cats Okay building, but I'm about done with the dog thing. I'm thinking Uptown, but prices up that way are bananas (because you're "close to the lakes" or whatever). I might consider Nordeast, but I'd have to be right by the Quarry because that is what I want! Oh, or in the St. Anthony area near the Wally World/Cub area there. I know my limits without having a car. I have also spotted some stuff over South, as well as in Richfield and St. Louis Park. Anyhoodle, now that we're upon the first of the month and landlords requiring a 60 day notice (or who give a 60 day notice in my case) will know of any openings. I plan to keep searching and seeing what's out there over the next week and hopefully, I can start visiting properties the following week. I am hoping for an April 15 lease start, but I might even consider an April 1st if I found the right place (and they would have me). Maybe SCA could rent my place out early. Not holding my breath. But since I have to be out of my apartment on April 30th at noon, I would need someplace that I can move into at least a few days early, so that I'm not homeless for 24 hours. I also hope I can get a decent moving crew together. Too bad all the boys I know have left the dang state for the most part. Not that it would have to be boys, but I do need someone who is willing and able to drive the truck. Oh, well. I'm babbling. It's a real slow day here and I have jack-all to do, so I have completed my state and property taxes and watched some Fright Night (2011) while sending out a bit of mail and entering some SAs. I've also scanned Craigslist some more and will probably do that some more again once I finish this rambly piece of business. Which I guess I am gonna do right now. More to come on this whole moving/apartment search-y thing.

In the beginning...

I had my last cigarette at the bus stop on the way to Job #2 today. I did bum one from Val when I wanted one really badly at work, but didn't want THAT to be my last one. I have been having cravings, but they aren't terrible. Actually, they seem more based on boredom and a sense that I should be doing something else. See, just now I just had the thought, "Is smoking really that bad?" YES! YES, IT IS!!! The hand-boredom is kinda unexpected. Time to find some new patterns to crochet or knit. On the caffeine front, work is too slow to give that up now. But I am trying to drink more water. This is really random, but I am not real interested in posting every craving on FB. Might be time to start journaling again. I kinda miss it and blogging just ain't the same.

Countdown to clean air

I am quitting smoking on Thursday. I bought a pack of cigarettes on Saturday and I want that to be the last pack of cigarettes I ever buy for myself. I have not done very well on diminishing my cigarette intake up to my Quit Day. I have contemplated moving my date, but I fear doing so will make me lose my willpower. I am ready, but I am nervous. I still have crazy-mad cravings now and then. Lately, I get them whenever I am heading to a bus stop. I almost went back to my apartment to get my smokes this morning so I could smoke at the bus stop. Instead, I walked to a different bus stop and the bus showed up right away and then there was a bus waiting at the light. So exercise = not smoking. Right now, it's my break time. I vaguely want to smoke, but not really. I still haven't bought healthy snacks. I bought a lot of other crap though. I'm kinda on the make-up journey. I'm old and my Black isn't cracking, but it's showing it's a age a touch. So I bought a few cheap (clearance and BOGO) foundations. I also bought new boots from Macy's. I did my Fed taxes last week. I need to do the State ones, but I haven't bought printer ink yet. I'm kinda rambling. This is what I do when I don't smoke.

One week til my Smoke-Out

Remember how I said I was gonna quit smoking on February 14 (for my heart, right?)? Well, with only a week left until my Quit Day, I'm a little concerned about actually being able to quit. Part of me wants to revise my quit plan and push the date back a few weeks. I have been doing a terrible job of whittling down and tracking my smokey treat intake. I had an app for that for a bit, but it kinda sucked so I deleted it. My plan was to smoke less and less until 2/14 and then just be done. By now I had hoped to be down to, like, 5 cigs a day. Yeah, not happening. I have not been leaving my cigarettes at home, so I smoke at work. My newest weak spot is waiting at the bus stop. This morning I decided to walk to the my downtown bus stop instead. Exercise and fight the Craving Dragon! Boom!!! My other weakness is a little tougher and that is sitting on my couch watching the YouTube in front of my TV. Yes, you read that right. I sit on my couch watching YouTube videos (Gabe and Babe are the freakin' best!!!) on my iPad with the dang TV on! What's THAT about? We need to work on that. My Netflix queue is bananas and also I can only watch so many videos about natural hair and make-up tutorials and cute IR couples vlogs. The natural hair thing is probably the next craziest thing in my world. I'm becoming a product junkie. Need to find my staples and stick to them. I really just want to buy two more things: castor oil and coconut oil. The Wedge actually has coconut oil on sale for only $5.79 this month. Cha-ching!!! I am debating the castor oil situation. Jamaican black castor oil or just the regular kind I can get at GNC? I might also need to get one other oil to counter the smell of the castor oil, but THAT'S IT!!! No more hair products!!! I imagine quitting smoking, eating better and exercising might actually contribute to my hair growth. Speaking of excercise, there is this awesome thing that I learned about that I REALLY want to try. It's called Couch 2 Five K, or C25K, and it's a program designed to get couch potatoes (ME!) off the couch and running in 3 months. It actually sounds doable. This could be a thing that I start in the spring (where else am I gonna run? I can't afford a Y membership right now.) I should get back to work. It's a slooooooooow day though. Maybe over my lunch break I can give a little update about being back at this spot. (Not all sunshine and rainbows, but also not creepy undercover sociopaths. The good with the bad and all that, right?)

I WANNA Be a Quitter!!!

Quit Day: February 14, 2013 Current smoke rate: 10-12 cigarettes/day Triggers: Standing at the bus stop Work breaks Watching TV at home Consuming alcohol After a meal End of the workday Around other smokers Seeing someone smoking (on TV/in films) Reasons to quit: Besides all the obvious health reasons, I don't want to be a smoker anymore. It’s a gross, unattractive habit that costs way too much and has NO known benefits. Also, I miss my pearly whites. Concerns about quitting: Temptation (Practically, all of my friends smoke…not that I hang out with people much anyways, but when I do I might feel left out of ducking out for a cigarette or embittered about being the one who has to watch everyone’s drinks. I am only a little concerned about this, mostly because as mentioned I don’t hang much and also because I really don’t like smoking all that much. I’ve always thought it was disgusting and if I’m not smoking, I REALLY hate the smell of secondhand smoke. Even sometimes when I AM smoking I hate the smell of other people’s smoke. I should be alright if I am not trapped in a room with a bunch of people having heaters…so no game nights for a while.) Weight gain (Through no actual effort on my part, I’ve managed to lose about 17 pounds recently. I guess I kinda noticed I was losing weight a few months ago when I started vaguely comfortably fitting into some of my old jeans. I didn’t really realize how much weight until several people pointed it out to me upon my return to Records. It suddenly dawned on me that I was actually quite comfortably fitting those old jeans. Heck, I tried on a pair the other day that were feeling a tad baggy. Last night I weighed myself for the first time in…a while and I am down almost 20 pounds from my last weigh-in. I have no idea how this happened, especially since I think I have a terrible diet and I didn’t walk home from Midtown quite as often as I had hoped to when I went to work there AND when I do walk, I don’t keep as brisk a pace as I did in my youth. All that to say, I would love to keep the weight I’ve lost off and possibly, lose a few pounds more. However, I appreciate that this 17 pounds gives me a little bit of a cushion since smoking cessation tends to result in some weight gain.) Fear of Failure (I don’t want this terrible habit to beat me. I may be putting a lot on my plate. In addition to attempting to maintain my mystery weight loss, I have recently also decided to quit biting my nails and to back up off the caffeine a bit. These were not as thought out as my Quit Smoking plan. I just got a full set manicure 3 weeks ago, chewed the falsies off this weekend and painted my nubs with a nail grow polish. Now I’m hoping for the best. The caffeine thing is still a work in progress. All-in-all, if I had to choose two of these things to actually accomplish, I would go with quitting smoking and nail biting. Those are the most unhealthy and unattractive things. Seriously, I have caught a glimpse of my reflection when I was gnawing on a nail and it is NOT HOT. Ditto, sucking on a cigarette.) Perhaps the main pull from all this is that I want to be healthier and I am dipping my toes into the waters of developing a healthier lifestyle. I still have beaucoup work to do because as I stated above, I eat for crap and the only exercise I currently get is walking home from work. (I have been good about taking the Skyway home from my first bus stop in a Minneapolis when not working at Job #2 and I do walk home from Job #2 at least twice a week. That’s about 20 minutes of walking per day. Not too shabby.) Perhaps I will look into gussying up that sad bicycle of mine (or more likely, looking for a cheap, sturdy replacement). I plan to quit smoking cold-turkey. No gum, no patches. I did consider reupping my Wellbutiron Rx, however, I don't need it for my moods(thankfully) and I don't really want it for smoking cessation. I will slowly whittle down my daily cigarette consumption until February 14, then I'm done. That's how I quite last time. I lasted 7 months then and only really started again when I got hired at a crappy, stressful job. Since I just LEFT a crappy, stressful work situation, I hope I don't get any new stresses that my get in my way. Remember how I used to not even smoke during a workday? Yeah, that stopped sometime before I left Records the first time. I REFUSE to bring cigarettes to work with me anymore...starting today. So far, I'm doing okay. Every so often, I will get this craving, but then it just goes away. I've been really snacky, but I'm always snacky which brings us back to that weight gain concern. I plan to incorporate healthy snacks into my world. I've needed to do this for a long time anyway. Maybe the fact that I couldn't just waltz over to a convenience store and buy Little Debbies whenever I wanted at Midtown contributed to my little sveltening. I do miss being able to saunter upstairs and buy a tasty apple whenever I want, though. So I will buy apples and cheese and pretzels and popcorn and baby carrots and snap peas and broccoli florets and (fat-free?...maybe not) ranch dressing (for dipping) and bring those things to work to lessen my Little Debbie intake. I need to cook hella more than I do. Okay, confession: maaaaaaybe my weight loss is because I just DO NOT COOK ANYMORE. Not, like, NEVER, but like not NEARLY as often as even I used to and I have never been that big on cooking for myself. Lately, I will just not eat if I don't have a pizza or a bowl of noodles to make (and/or I haven't stopped to pick something up because that's a thing I do like I can afford to just dine out everyday which I really can't. We'll discuss my need for a healthy budget journey in the diary). This started out as an attempt to hash out my reasons and plan for quitting and turned into all THIS. But I ain't mad about it. I have been slacking on the blogging anyway. Perhaps I will try to track my progress on all of my various projects (and any others I might add) on a more regular basis. Lates! P.S. I apologize if this looks like one, giant run-on paragraph from hell, but well, Blogger sucks like that. (*shoulder shrug*)