I KNOW Black people pt. 2...It's complicated

So remember my little work dilemma from the other day? Well, my boss tried to fix things on Friday and she kinda has made what was a kinda awkward, mildly humorous situation into something extremely uncomfortable.

She came to me on Friday and said I should disregard everything that she said because she shouldn't have told me in the first place. She was referring in particular to that bit about his wife which she explained was personal information she told her in confidence. She said she might have made implications about what he meant by that that weren't his intention. I acknowledged that the information I received was second-hand and therefore, not as reliable. However, I also let her know that she could not unring that bell and that the impression I got (and clearly, she did as well) was that the personal information was given to her as a way to explain why he had a particular impression of me. So frankly, I think it was relevant in our conversation. (AmIright?) And mind you, she did confirm that he did indeed make the statement about his wife. I told her she didn't really need to keep apologizing to me, but I also told her that the situation was now strained and that I wasn't so sure about working with him.

Well, this only made her feel worse, so what does she do? She goes and tells him about the conversations she and I had on Thursday. According to her, he told her that she had no business telling me that bit of personal information and that I should come speak to him. She brought this bit of info to me and that's about when I nearly went off. I was working the counter and biding my time until lunch, so I certainly wasn't about to rush off to have a sit-down with this guy over this. I told I would not be going over to speak to him (that day) because I certainly would have an "attitude", so I planned to take some time and hash this out.

Well, guess who stopped by my cube today? That's right. Mr. BlackWife! He says, "[Your boss] said you were gonna come by to talk to me about a school project." Uh, no, but perhaps someone is confused. I told him I wasn't coming over today, and he gives me a why not look and I'm like, "It's complicated." He just says, "Whenever you're ready," and walks away.

Before I was mostly a little annoyed, dumbstruck, and mildly amused. Now that I think about it I'm pissed. And the anger has definitely shifted from Mr. BlackWife to my supervisor who just keeps digging this trench for all of us to sink into. As much as I'd like to believe I could, there is no way I can meet with this guy without bringing all of this up and getting pissed again. This is now an advancement opportunity that has kinda been fucked FOR me. I didn't even get a chance to screw this up. After Thursday, I figured I'd give myself a week or two to mull everything over and let myself simmer down. Now, I still feel like I'm at a disadvantage if I go see him sooner and yet, I feel like the longer I wait, the worse the situation. Like I'll look like I'm holding a grudge.

I don't like it when I feel someone else has sabotaged an opportunity for me. Granted, this isn't something that was guaranteed, but now I just don't know if this is a reparable situation because it's all wonky.

This is like that episode of Seinfeld when that couple asks Elaine to be a reference for them to adopt a baby and she's all "Oh, sure. I'd love to," but she then totally tanks it for them by talking about the guy's bad side. Yeah, it's a little kinda like that, but slightly less funny.