Beat it

So this is what's in the news. Well, at least when people aren't debating the lechery of Herman Cain or the greediness of Kim Kardashian. The embedded video allegedly shows a Texas judge beating and verbally berating his teenaged daughter, who happens to have a form of cerebral palsy, with a leather belt. The reason for the beating is that she illegally downloaded content online.

All of that seems like a pretty fine reason to hate this asshole, right? He is a freakin' JUDGE in charge of interpreting for others what RIGHT and WRONG are. His child has a physical disability making her somewhat unable to defend herself. She downloaded some songs, not stole a car and went joyriding. For the most part commenters are calling for this guy's head and the fact that he's a judge and that his daughter has a disability are continuously pointed out.

But here's the thing. Change the story to "Non-Famous Man Captured on Video Beating His Able-Bodied Child with Belt for Stealing a Car". Does the fact that the person isn't famous matter? Or the fact that the child is not disabled? Or that the theft is of a different sort (and yes, illegally downloading songs is theft)? It shouldn't. An adult using violence to teach a child a lesson about right and wrong doesn't make sense.

The other problem I'm having with some of the comments is the people who say, "Well, my parents beat me with thisthatortheother and I turned out fine and I still love them." Well, bully for you! Newsflash: Your parents were assholes, too! However, the fact that you still love them and don't feel that you or your siblings suffered any negative affects means NOTHING! The fact is that how something like this will affect someone is very individualistic.

I'm gonna go deep and personal here, but I got beat as a kid. My mother was not about sparing the rod, the switch, the belt, the extension cord, the broom handle, the flyswatter, the bat-and-ball paddle, the flip-flop, the whatever-is-handy if she felt we had gotten outta hand. And unfortunately for us, getting outta hand in her book was not that hard. She had a hair-trigger temper that might explain why I chew off even fake fingernails. We spent a lot of time quietly watching TV in our basement making sure that the volume wasn't too loud...or even our laughter at times. Even as an adult (and I only got to spend about 6 1/2 years as an adult in her presence), we remained extremely nervous and cautious around her.

All that doesn't change the fact that I love my mother dearly and miss her to this day. Perhaps it's the devil's advocate in me that can justify some of what she put us through by understanding some of what SHE went through. Domestic abuse, her own childhood abuse, untreated depression, poverty, oppression. But the fact remains, that most people looking at the way we were punished would want to call the authorities. Hell, we even considered it a time or two.

And yet I imagine most folks looking at me would say I'm pretty well adjusted, seeing as how I haven't gone on a killing spree. Those who are close to me (and there honestly aren't many because...well, I got issues) would likely list off all sorts of reasons they can't believe I had a rough childhood. But again, my anxiety, depression, irritability with humanity, and resistance to getting emotionally close to others definitely are byproducts of a youth spent in a state of fear.

So while I appreciate that some people see this as mild or not that bad, I am gonna stick with parents should not use violence to correct behavior and those that do, are kinda assholes.