SVU: Let your fingers do the detecting

OMG! I am livid right now watching SVU. Robin Williams is "special guest starring" as a perv who called a fast food joint and made a dummy strip search one of his young employees. They trace the calls to a pay phone where calls were made using phone cards. Through the phone cards they find surveillance of Mork buying said-cards at a convenience store. After the Dynamic Duo go question him at his apartment, he gives an alibi about trout fishing upstate and even produces numbers for his hotel and a waitress at a diner who was "sweet" on him.

Back at the squad, Munch CALLS the waitress and the diner to verify his alibi. Anybody who has watched more than two seconds of Robin Williams shtick knows that he is the person on the phone in both phone calls. Our detectives must have been too busy roughing up perps to see Mrs. Doubtfire. Luckily, Captain Cragen comes in while they're 'on hold' to inform them that a buddy of his says no one is allowed to trout fish where Mork claims he was because of bad chemicals in the water. El whispers to Munch to ask about the fishing and the 'hotel manager' tells him the fishing is great. Busted!

Have the detectives become so lazy they can't even be bothered to drive upstate to check out the alibi? Did Elliott blow out his knee kicking down too many doors so he and Liv couldn't make the trip? Such bullshit! Contrived much!

Oh! We're 23 minutes in and already Mork is on trial (acting as his own attorney, natch...so you know he's crazy). We can already put this in Casey's (long) losses column. Anway, he's grilling the lab tech guy about the enhanced photo taken of Mork outside of a library where phone calls were made to the fast food joint. Despite the picture being all but a Glamour Shot (there are not pixels in the world of SVU), he manages to convince the jury that the guy in the photo could be Ashton Kutcher.

Then he gets on the stand and Casey brings up his juvenile record of assault. Mork weaves a tale of stopping a bunch of young punks from raping a girl by burning down a house. They got off and he got prosecuted for arson because one of the rapist's was the police chief's son who is now a convicted rapist. Casey is left speechless.

Surprise! Casey loses the case (please tell me that when Diane Neal leaves, they kill her character off) and we still have a half hour to go. I think we all know where this is going. Hope Mork doesn't mind being stalked because Liv and El sure can't stand to lose.

Commercials!

Well now we're back and Mork is on some morning TV show with a sheep he's named Elliott and saying people should stop acting like Elliott and refuse to conform. Now, he's leading a rally against conformity and now they're pillow-fighting. And Munch is into it! Now, Munch is back at the squad defending him. Why? 'Cause he's a hippy. Apparently, Mork's wife and kid died in childbirth and the Dynamic Duo wonder why Mr. Anti-Conformity didn't sue. Time to pry into Mork's past.

The doctor who performed the birth died in a car accident due to bad brakes on his car. They go to bug the M.E. She thinks the doctor killed himself because Mork was harassing him for killing his family. Liv wants to arrest him, but one of the techs tells them he won't be home because according to his website he's participating in some dumb demonstration at Grand Central. I'm wondering exactly what they plan to charge him with since one can't really be said to make a person commit suicide, legally anyway.

They go to bust him at the demonstration. There are these yahoos all over the place who stop moving whenever a whistle blows. The whistle-blower (who is one of those irritating talking heads on many VH1 countdown shows) is screeching into a megaphone about conformity. Yawn. Liv spots Mork over by VH1Guy. She radios El and goes to arrest him. I was typing so I missed what happened, but a whistle blew and Mork somehow got away and he might have Liv with him, but I'll have to let you know after the commercial.

So, Crocs with heels. Still ugly and over-priced.

Back! He does have Liv, but not at his apartment. Oh, hi Chester. I forgot you existed (blissfully for those 45 minutes). They want to know who would know where Mork might have taken Liv. They remember one of his coworkers, Dr. Chang.

She tells them about a sad date she had with Mork where he heard a song that his wife used to sing and bailed on her. She also remembers where Mork's wife use to work, at an old recording studio in Brooklyn. Elliott goes and finds Mork there sans Liv. He threatens to shoot him, but Mork says he'll never find her if he kills him. El backs down and Mork reveals Liv is locked in a sound-proof booth with one-way glass. He's rigged the door with explosives so El can't bust in.

Now, Mork wants to conduct an experiment. He goes all Milgram on them to make El shock Liv and he keeps pressing the button and we hear some really fake-ass screams from Liv. We don't see her so it's totally a recording but El is too stupid to know that. He accuses El and other cops of abusing their authority which Elliott denies (liar!). Mork whines about abuses by the cop's kid from his youth and the bad doctor who killed his wife and kid. He's chewing scenery like bubble gum. He keeps trying to get El to shock Liv, but he totally refuses. So Mork decides he's not sheep and reveals that Liv is fine. He lets him go in and untie her. She tries to explain why she went along with Mork, but El is just happy to see she's alright. (I'm no 'shipper but these two totally ought to bone. Too bad El went and made a new brat with his whiny wife.)

They arrest Mork and bring him outside where he asks to tie his shoe. They allow it (because they're idiots) and he presses what looks like an iPod Mini hidden in his sock and explodes the building knocking the detectives on their asses. They get their wits back and see a cuffed Mork girly-running away. They give chase and come to a lake, but no Mork. Liv says he's dead since he went into the water cuffed, but El looks dubious. The end. Apparently, NBC doesn't believe in making people pay for their crimes anymore.

Oh goody. Next week we get the dad from 7th Heaven.