Good News, Bad News

Good news: I've managed to lose most of the weight I gained when I (briefly) quit smoking lo those 2 years ago. I'm bringing sexy back.

Bad news: I lost said-weight using the "I'm-Totally-Broke-Stressed-and-Eating-for-Shit" diet. Being "thin" and being fit are two very different animals.

Good news: I can fit into some of my pre-quit clothes again, thus expanding my wardrobe. I was pretty well on the road to unable-to-shop-like-I-used-to when I gained the weight so I didn't have a whole whole bunch of stuff in my quit-size.

Bad news: I seem to have lost more than just the quit-weight as some of my pre-quit clothes are pretty hangy. I can't afford to buy hot new clothes. Besides, spring and summer are NOT my times to shop. Everything is either short, strappy, or flesh-baring and usually a combination of all three. I mean, try to buy a decent pair of chunky shoes after March. Unless, by chunky you want "stripper", you are SOL.

Other stuff:
Yesterday on KDWB, a couple of the morning jocks read letters they'd written to their moms in observance of Mothers' Day. This morning they had listeners do the same. The letters were very sweet and made me think of a letter I had written to my mom about a year before she died. I never mailed it because I was extremely self-conscious about it and how it would make her feel. Our family isn't a sappy, open-your-heart type. We like to keep our shit bottled up like Cherry Coke until something comes along to shake things up and cause a scary-ass explosion. Anyway, because of this history of repression, I never sent it. I have to admit I kind of regret that. I really wish I had told her all the things I said in that letter.

Now, unbelievably I can't find it. Granted, I only looked in one place which was the place I thought I had put it. (I do still have the letter I wrote to my little brother after he died. It was actually a journal entry that I decided to read in front of God and everyone at his memorial service. No regrets on that one.) It is likely somewhere amongst my many old journals. I need to find it. We are approaching the 10th "anniversary" of her passing (August 8) and I think reading that again and sharing it will make it a little easier.