Killing Myself to Live

I am sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired. I really wish I did not have to work a second job. I guess if I were actually seeing real benefits from doing so I wouldn’t feel so bad. Then again I probably wouldn’t feel so bad if I were, say, 27 instead of 37. It just seems like the extra paycheck isn’t making my debt any less. I am constantly doing a lot of boring from Peter to pay Paul. This month I decided to pay my rent late so as to pay SOME of my credit card debt. Those constant phone calls every day get really annoying. It’s too the point now where the only phone calls I ever get are from bill collectors. Booo!

All this working and not paying bills has limited my precious free time. It seems I blink and my weekend in is over. I make all kinds of plans to read books and listen to podcasts and watch movies and before I know it, I am bitching about football pushing The Amazing Race and Cold Case back 45 minutes, which makes me have to miss parts of Property Virgins and My First Place. It’s not like I go out and DO things. Well, sometimes, like going apple picking with Bean last weekend which was actually pretty fun, even though we got rained on. We didn’t walk through the very expensive ($10!) corn maze, but since I think we walked through the entire goddamn orchard looking for sweet 16 apples (thwarted), I don’t think we missed much.

This past weekend I spent my Friday night having over-priced PBRs with Rebecca at Gringo’s. There were a shit-ton of younguns running around and there was a cute boy sitting next to us, but he was interested in Rebecca and she was not interested in him. And then we were called lesbians because we weren’t smiling and we didn’t want to talk to the guy wearing WAAAAAAAY too much Axe! Yes, sir. Only women who are into women would not smile at your over-dressed-for-this-dive-bar, drenched-in-teenaged-boy-cologne suaveness. Then Christine (Kristine? Who cares.) showed up and it was ripe time for me to leave because I still think she sucks and the two of them together is a loud, over-talker marathon nightmare. I got home and watched about 10 minutes of the Rock Ballads infomercial (featuring Kevin Whathisface from REO Speedwagon looking like someone’s grandma) and ¼ of Frankenstein before deciding to hit the rack.

On Saturday, I was gonna go to Michaels and pick up yarn for my other sweater that I’m gonna make (aside: I sewed the side panels on to the front part of my sweater last night. Now I just need to sew them to the back, figure out what to do about the shoulders and sleeves, and I am done.), but my coupon wasn’t good until Sunday and since I didn’t have anything else to do in Richfield, I decided to do the SLP buffet which is way cooler on Sundays when they have the tasty prawns, but is also $8 more expensive. I stuffed my face and went back home and decided that I would straighten my hair…with a relaxer. Yes, after I don’t know how many years now (4 at least) I have given up on the ‘fro. Regrets? A little bit. Maybe I should have gone with locs, but it’s too late for that now. Sometimes I wish I wore makeup so I could just shave it.

Anyhoo, I figured I had a little money and didn’t know what my finances would look like the next weekend (current prognosis: bleak), so I should check out the Hostages show at the Nomad. This weekend was the Zombie Bar Crawl, so went with my “Subway” shirt instead of make-up. The place was totally nuts. So much so that they completely gave up on trying to collect a cover and they ran out of like, 5 types of beer including my delicious hipster staple PBR (which I only recently learned it part of some sort of hipster chic; I only started drinking it because Luce had freakin’ $2 tallboys). At some point ended up with a $5 24 oz St. Pauli Girl. Woohoo!

But the boys put on a fun show and the No-No’s (it was their CD release gig) are actually good. I even liked a bit of Pretty/Ugly even though they’re fans all seemed to equate zombie with afro wig. Idiots. I managed to mooch a ride home with Ian and some friend of his who happens to also be a bit of a horror geek which made him totally cute in my book. That, and the fact that the shirt he was wearing was very Freddie Krueger.

Sunday was yarn day. I made my way to Michaels and bought all the black Wool-Ease yarn they had (9 skeins) plus picked up another skein of glow-in-the-dark yarn (now only $1.99 on clearance). I had Sunday buffet at my usual buffet (I love their salt & pepper shrimps) and came home. Since I was down to like 3 pairs of socks and my previous-sized underwear I decided to cross my fingers and pray that I could get at least one machine in the laundry room on a Sunday afternoon at 3. To my utter surprise I got all four and was able to do a good portion of my laundry (still not cold enough for me to worry about those sweaters that have been piled up since March) in just about 2.5 hours. I was feeling mildly energetic, so I decided to whip up some spinach-stuffed manicotti which turned out good, but I won’t be making manicotti again anytime soon because it is a bitch too stuff.

At some point I finished watching Frankenstein (aside: This movie is awesome. Much more so, IMHO, than Bride of Frankenstein which people seem to love. Some of the funny is good, but mostly it’s annoying—looking at you, Minnie—and unnecessary. I also thought the story in the original was more frightening, perhaps because the monster doesn’t speak.) and started both The Devil’s Backbone and Inside, but because I was back and forth from laundry room to kitchen and both have subtitles I didn’t think I should watch them yet. Plus I was worried about getting grossed out by the latter.

Oh, I also watched about ½ of the original Tales from the Darkside movie (circa 1972) while conditioning my hair on Saturday. I love the instant-watch feature of Netflix. So deliciously convenient. Anyway, it was a cool, 70s-spooky way to deep condition my hair for an hour.

So then it was time for me to go to bed and my weekend was suddenly over and I still hadn’t watched movies or read much of my book (already saw The Ruins and know the big surprise twist, but I am still digging the book). I was gonna watch one of my movies last night, but I had to go to the store after work and then make dinner which pushed me into the 8 o’clock hour and I was eating so again, no Inside. So I watched the first part of The Power of Nightmares which is a BBC documentary which juxtaposes the history of the neo-conservative movement with the growth of extremist Muslims. Scary stuff.
Now I’m back at work, not doing work and bored to tears.