Okay, I’m listening to an episode of It Came from the Basement and am getting a little annoyed. The guys are discussing Halloween. Actually, in this episode they are discussing the merits of Halloween III: Season of the Witch as a part of the Halloween franchise and as a stand-alone film. They are huge fanboys of the film; mostly it seems because of Tom Atkins, but also because it does have an interesting plot and a semi-creepy story. I personally resisted watching this movie for a looooooong time because of the lack of Michael, but have to admit, I was not wholly disappointed when I finally did watch it. I think as a stand-alone non-Halloween film it works great. The guys talk about how the original idea behind this film was to move the Halloween franchise away from Michael Myers all together (since he had, of course, been burned up real good at the end of the first sequel) by creating unique, individual stories in a sort of Friday the 13th: The Series sort of way, but hopefully actually good. Anyway, I can appreciate that idea, but I think they needed to separate it from the Myer’s Halloween and not use the name. It might have worked if they hadn’t already wet fans’ appetites for more Myers by doing one Michael-based sequel already.

All that isn’t really the reason I’m getting annoyed. What’s annoying me is that one of the guys, Dead Mike, is talking about how Halloween wasn’t really scary. According to him, Michael is “too clean”; he isn’t a “killing machine” like Jason; he’s too “human”. He actually says the thought of Michael as a simple serial killer isn’t scary and states that the lack of a supernatural element to Michael makes him less frightening. That? Makes no sense to me.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a woman and am more likely to die at the hands of a serial killer than your average male or what, but the idea that some dude just up and decides that he wants to kill and gets a big ole knife and goes on the attack scares the crap out of me. I love the fact that there is nothing supernatural about Michael. He isn’t some zombie slaughterer. He’s not massive (like Rob Zombie’s version of him) and he can’t teleport or kill you in your dreams. He’s just a regular guy who happens to be able to take a heck of a lot of abuse. That changes as the franchise progresses which serves to lessen his intensity/fear factor somewhat (coupled with the shitty mask he wears in the later sequels), but the music along with the memories of the original Shape (Dead Mike doesn’t get why he’s called The Shape) still serve to make even the pudgy Michael of Return and Revenge a little scary.

And his “clean” kills don’t bother me one bit. Real people do a fine lot of bad with just their bare hands. Hell, he was 6 when he first grabbed that big knife! While the kills in Halloween II and the subsequent films are more vicious and creative (HOT TUB FACE MELT!), they also turn the character of Michael Myers into more of a cartoon. Outside of wanting Tina to die in Revenge, I never really cheered Michael on and anticipated how he was going to kill. I never thought I was supposed to! With a Friday the 13th or even an Elm Street, one watches and wonders how each person is going to be disposed of. You look for new and different kills. You groan when Jason smacks someone against a tree or when Freddy smashes a girls head into a television (and then it’s labeled a suicide…eek!), but you also giggle because you identify with Jason or Freddy more so than with the vic.

I guess I can’t argue with what amounts to an opinion. Different strokes for different folks and all. See, because just now they both also say The Exorcist isn’t scary, which…whaaa? I kinda don’t get that, but I guess I kinda do. I remember when Jew.Lo and I went to see The Version You Haven’t Seen or whatever at the theatre lo those many years ago, we were both kinda like, “What the heck terrified us so much as a kid?” Then the spiderwalk happened and all the other real Regan possessed stuff and we were both re-fucked up again. For me, I think studying the Bible with demon-believer Jehovah’s Witnesses spurred a lot of my fear as far as that film and The Omen and most other movies about the devil and possession and hauntings are concerned. I’m an agnostic semi-heathen, but I got just enough belief in me to know that if there’s a God, there’s a Devil too.

So I can’t explain why I still will only watch Halloween during the day or with the lights on. Well, I can explain. It’s because I’m kind of a fraidy cat (and I don’t have a horror movie snuggle partner). But I watched The Devil’s Backbone with the lights off and wasn’t terribly frightened. (Off-topic: That is a good, beautifully filmed story, but it isn’t a very scary movie). Meanwhile I watched Inside when there was still some daylight happening with a light on and it scared the bejesus out of me and then I had a nightmare that involved Michael Myers. What’s that about? I guess there’s just no telling what will get someone’s goat.