I KNOW Black people

So this happened.

This afternoon my supervisor pulled me into a meeting. Backing up, a few weeks ago I had my annual review (1 1/2 months late, but whatevs...pay-freeze means no raise, so I wasn't missing out on anything except her telling me how awesome I am). In that review, she explained that she can see that while I'm good at my job, it isn't very challenging for me and she can sense that I am getting bored. She clarified that she doesn't want to lose me in our unit, but that she also sees potential for me to grow. Knowing my interest in criminal justice, she suggested that over the next year I might do some cross-training with our Driver Evaluations unit which deals with the more criminal aspects of Driver and Vehicle Services (suspensions, revocations, DUIs, and the like). She told me that she would speak to that unit's manager about me and see what he thinks of the idea.

Flashforward to today. In our meeting she told me that she spoke to him about me and the cross-training thing. She said she sang my praises and told him about my educational pursuits. Apparently, this guy also got his education through Metro studying criminal justice and psychology, so his interest was peaked. Except for one thing: he thinks---wait for it---I have an ATTITUDE problem! My super explained that I am a take-no-guff no-time-to-stop-and-chitchat sorta person, but I'm also very funny, very friendly (when you get to know me), and most important, very good at my job and with dealing with customers. His response was that he is married to a Black woman so he knows about attitude and he thinks there's "something else going on". He used examples such as I barely acknowledge him when I pass him in the hallways or I don't make eye contact with him when I see him. He told her that he is intrigued and to tell me if I really am interested I need to show it by approaching him. Needless to say, I wasn't thrilled at the end of our meeting (but I love my boss, so we walked out laughing), but I told her I would definitely think about it. I also told her I was totally gonna tell my friends about his "I have a Black wife" comment because that's how I roll.

Well, I've been mulling this over since walking out of that meeting room. I've been trying to decide if I'm crazy to be a little offended by this. This isn't me mulling over a potential lawsuit or anything, but I'm just really pissed. What the hell does his marriage have to do with anything? He knows a Black woman so he can make stereotypical generalizations about all of us? Oh, you know Black women and their attitudes. I've been dealing with this shit all of my life and it gets really tiring. I know I can be a frosty bitch some days and I do have a tough time hiding it, but so often the complaints are things that I suspect are an issue BECAUSE people hold this stereotype about Black women. People have bad days, dammit. It's not a Black thing; it's a freakin' human thing. I walk by plenty of people everyday at work who don't make eye contact or attempt to say hello. I don't assume they're all racist. And that's a lie by the way because I've totally given this dude the 'how's it going' headnod. Am I supposed to do a fucking cartwheel when I see him? (My boss jokingly suggested I grab his balls and bark hello inches from his face. You see why I love her?)

I expressed this to my boss who became worried that she maybe shouldn't have told me that part, but as I see it, she had every reason/right to tell me as his assessment of me as a person (who happens to be a Black woman) are based on the "knowledge" he's gained about Black people through his marriage. HE TOLD HER AS MUCH! So she's not in the wrong.

Now, the opportunity to work in DEV would be great. Boredom isn't the only reason I spent much of the morning reading DUI statutes. This is something I would like to examine more. As remarkable as it may sound, I really like dealing with customers. Hell, I spent almost an hour on the phone explaining records to a customer earlier today. More than a few times I've gone out of my job's way to Google a statute to explain something a customer didn't quite understand. I've even calmed down irate customers a few times. ME!!! Ms. Attitude.

However, I don't know how comfortable I feel about approaching him. This is further bolstered by comments my boss attributed to him which make it sound like he wants to study me like a lab rat. She used words like "fascinated" and "intrigued" and "interested". Since this was her recounting her conversation with him I can't really put them into context, but it kinda skeeves me out to think someone (a potential boss) is looking at me like "I want to get to the root of her being." The way I explained it to my boss, it isn't in his fucking job description to analyze me (and this was an informal meeting and my boss pretty much adores me, so I actually did drop that f-bomb on her which just made her laugh). Assess me to see if I'm suited to the job, yes. Play Oprah and get to the root of my "attitude problem', not so much.

So I think I'm gonna go to my supervisor again and ask her how much of what I learned about their conversatio I am free to bring up to him IF I decide to pursue this opportunity. But help me out here, friends. Am I being overly-sensitive here? If I meet with him, should I bring this up? I'd really just like to hear him clarify what he meant by that statement and how (the hell) he feels that has anything to do with whether I should cross-train with DEV. So I'm asking for feedback. Honesty is appreciated, so tell me what you really think.