Happy New Year

I got all sorts of wasted with the Ladies at Betsy's on NYE (Crystalino is the shiznit), so I kept it pretty low-key yesterday. I managed to stay in bed until just after 10 am which is pretty impressive for me. I decided that I need to leave the house to purchase my ½ price calendar and to get some foodstuffs. I bussed all the way out to Richfield and had my chow, then bussed downtown only to find the B&N was closed. Dude, what up with that? No calendar for me, so I browsed around Target (nothing worth buying) then just went home.

There were a bunch of crappy marathons on television (well, except the Twilight Zone marathon), so I decided to see what I could Instant-Watch on Netflix. This winter's crush object Bruce Campbell has several flicks available to watch. After checking out the trailer for The Man with the Screaming Brain, I thought my hangover would be better served by a little cop drama horror, so I went with one of his earlier efforts, Maniac Cop. (Warning: Here there be spoilers!)

I thought I had seen this movie a million years ago, but I don't think so. Even if I wouldn't have remembered that Bruce was in it, I totes would have remembered that Tom Atkins was in it. I'm pretty sure I saw Maniac Cop 2 because that has Leo Rossi in it which I remembered, but I remember him being the Maniac Cop which he's not but my old brain can't process stuff very well anymore.

Anyway, the plot of Maniac Cop is sorta simple. In 80s-era New York (remember David Dinkins? I don't know if he was mayor at the time this movie was made. I just wonder if anyone remembers him.), a cop is killing innocent people. Tom Atkins is trying to track him down. Bruce Campbell gets accused of being the killer cop. Tom and a lady cop have to clear Bruce's name. Awesomeness ensues. Okay, it's a little more complicated than that, but if I weren't terribly bored that would be a fine summation.

A meatier telling goes a little like this. After a couple of innocents get killed and witnesses report a cop as the perpetrator, the commissioner (SHAFT, bitches!!!) doesn't want to believe it. Tom Atkins does though and as the detective on the case he's gonna prove it. Meanwhile, Bruce is a cop on the force whose wife suspects him of being Maniac Cop, mostly because their marriage is failing. One night when he claims he has to work OT (and after she receives a suspicious phone call), she follows him to a no-tell motel and busts him with his squeeze. When she leaves, she becomes Maniac Cop's next victim. He leaves her body in the no-tel which leads the cops to Bruce. He denies it, but won't give up his squeeze as an alibi.

Eventually, Tom gets Bruce to cop to the affair and give up the chippy's name so Tom goes to get her. Chippy is a fellow cop. That night as she's working Vice Maniac Cop tries to kill her. She shoots him multiple times, but it doesn't hurt him, but Tom hears the shots and comes to the rescue. Maniac Cop just disappears.

Instead of heading off to headquarters to file an official report that a big ass cop just tried to choke a bitch while Bruce was totally in the pokey, Tom and Chippy go to a bar to discuss Chippy's affair with Bruce. He wants to know who else knows about her and Bruce. Chippy gives info about a handicapable former cop lady who works down in Records. Tom orders her to hide out at his place while he does some further investigation. He goes to see Records Lady who acts all suspicious.

At the end of her shift, Tom follows Records Lady to a scrap yard. Tom spies on her as she tries to convince MC to stop killing innocent people and go after the big kahunas (like SHAFT) who sent him to prison in the first place. Tom accidentally knocks something over and Records Lady shoots at him. Maniac Cop disappears.

Tom does more research and finds out about a hero cop who ended up being sent to prison for killing a perp. He in turn was murdered in prison. Seems Maniac Cop was engaged to a fellow officer at the time. His fiancée was so distraught after his conviction and murder that she threw herself off a building. She lived but ended up crippling herself. Tom does the math.

Tom and Chippy go to update Bruce on the goings on. Tom leaves Chippy to "question Bruce further" (read: make googly eyes at each other) and heads to snoop around the Records Lady's office. She's not around, so Tom pokes through her purse and finds a glove that she had taken from MC. Records Lady sneaks up behind him and shows him how rude it is to go through a lady's purse by whacking him with her cane. Maniac Cop then shows up and begins tossing Tom all over the place. Chippy and Bruce hear the commotion and buzz to be let out of their little interview room, but no one answers. When Chippy tries the door she finds it unlocked and a shit-ton of dead cops all around it. Bruce sends her to Tom's car while he goes to see if Tom's alright. He has to book it out of there when other cops show up and immediately think he's the culprit. He leaves the building just in time to see Tom's body come flying from the building and land on a car next to them. At this point, I'm like "Dude, they killed Tom Atkins! You bastards!!!"

Tom had arranged to meet with the prison's medical examiner to find out more about Maniac Cop. Bruce and Chippy decide to take that meeting. They get the whole story of how this guy was a hero who cleaned up the streets, so no one really called him on his brutal methods. That is until he killed a perp or two. He was tried and convicted and sent to prison. He refused protective custody and one day, in the shower the Mullet Boys attacked him and cut him up real good. Doc claims he was dead, but Chippy and Bruce squeeze out of him that he found a faint pulse and revived MC. The kahunas figured it be a real media shithole to send him back, so they let him out.

Bruce and Chippy head back to the city. Chippy goes to confront commissioner while Bruce skulks around across the street from 1PP. Oh, and did I mention it's St. Patrick's Day so apparently ¾ of the force is marching in the big parade. Anyway, Chippy fails at convincing the commissioner that MC is the killer. He plays a message the Tom left him about the killer being a rogue cop who was being helped by a female accomplice, then orders her placed under arrest. A pudgy cop (whom I totally recognized, but can't place) comes in and cuffs her as the commissioner and the captain (whom I haven't mentioned before this, but he's kind of important) head off for some parade fun. Unfortunately, Maniac Cop cuts their fun short (pun intended) when he kills them both.

Pudgy Cop decides to try to get Chippy to confess to him. She refuses and he finally cuffs one of her wrists to his and they head for the tombs. PC is all bitchin' at her for fucking with his ambitions when MC guts him. Chippy freaks out and drags PC towards the elevators, but that exit is blocked by SHAFT's and the captain's bodies so she drags him into some office where she unlocks herself and flings a chair through a window to escape Maniac Cop coming after her. She climbs out on a ledge to escape him which Bruce notices. Unfortunately, a gaggle of cops across the street notice Bruce at that same moment and quickly move in to arrest him. They toss him in the back of a paddy wagon and start congratulating themselves on catching him. Maniac Cop then comes up and tosses the driver out and takes off. A young cop pulls up and Chippy runs up and hops in his car because that is the only cop around all of a sudden.

What will become of Bruce? Will Chippy and the rookie catch up and save the day? When are going to re-animate the corpse of Tom Atkins so he can come back in a kick ass to end this movie? I won't tell. I think this movie is pretty awesome and even though most people who read my little bloggy her aren't likely to ever even think of renting something like this movie, I recommend this movie to my horror buddies who would indeed check out just this sort of movie. It is 80s horror at its Velveeta-y best.

Anyway, after checking out Maniac Cop, I spent the rest of the afternoon watching Burn Notice. I was kind of p.o'ed because I still had two more episodes from season 1 to watch, but as with Dexter, those had been removed. Luckily, TWoP had a quicky recap of that season. So I am watching Season 2 on Hulu now. I dig it. Fiona sucks, but Jeffrey Donovan is sufficiently hot and Bruce is sufficiently Bruce and the show is interesting. I almost went to the movies, but the only things I really want to see right now are playing at theatres I hate (Milk, Doubt) or only playing at 11 pm at a theatre that is not conveniently located (Let the Right One In). I'll hold on to my movie pennies for My Blood Valentine 3-D.